Seriously, what am I doing wrong?

[MisterTaco]

Hey all,

The past week I've been kinda struggling to maintain a positive mentality when it comes to women and dating. I don't know what it is but there have been 3 different girls the past two weeks who i got a number close and when I texted them, they either don't reply at all or exchange with me for a bit before they stop replying.

One girl who I met when she sat next to me on the bus, and she was clearly interested and was giving me IOI's and even gave me her number before i asked.I sent her an inital text with my name so she had my # and two days later I texted her something along the lines of :

Me:" Hey ***, how's your weekend treating you?"
Girl: hey Taco, good just chilling and relaxing, how's your weekend?"
Me: " Good! Just recovering today after my boy's bday jam last night lol. "

I then follow right up with another text:

"What's your schedule like this week? I was thinking we should go grab desert sometime soon!"

And then that's it. No more reply. I've read Chase's articles on what to do when they dont text back and his articles on texting but it didnt seem to work out for me here.

Another girl I met at this big Caribbean festival in my city (toronto) gave me her #, seemed SUPER into me, and when I followed up with a text about a week later, no reply.

Another girl ( I met through social circle) I was dancing with all night last night and seemed into me at the club for a friends bday. I got her # , but when I texted her "Good meeting you last night, hopefully y'all enjoyed yourselves last night ". Now maybe this one she got turned off because I was going willldddd and started going off on the dance floor and maybe i came off as a bit too entertainer-ish?? Im not sure but eitherway it seems like i havent been getting responses which has been bumming me out a lot. Any idea on how to lift myself up from this or at least maybe some points on what the hell i'm doing wrong? The girls i met through social circle is GORGEOUS and i felt like i was going well, but i dont know what it was. I dont approach SYSTEMATICALLY as I should but Ive been putting in more effort recently and i just feel like im getting rejected without understanding what im doing wrong. Any help is GREATLY appreciated amigos, thank you.

 

[Big Daddy]

I can't really help you with the social circle situation because that's more nuanced and not really my thing.

What it seems to be the case is that you're missing some escalation windows here (i.e. not moving fast enough) and girls grow cold on you.

I stole this script from Franco... whenever you meet a girl and get her number, text this after a couple of hours: "Hey [name], it's [your name]. Save my number " wait a few hours after her reply and try to set up the date ASAP. This is what I think you should've done with the girl on the bus.

I also feel that I get more dates by splitting the "go out" question in two or three questions because she's giving me compliance. Plus, I can give a reason for us to go out and if you read Influence you know you just need to give some lame ass reason for your odds to go up. I'd do it like this:

Girl: hey Taco, good just chilling and relaxing, how's your weekend?
You: That's nice. Good as well So you got some free time [today or tomorrow or this weekend or whatever fits you best]?
Girl: Probably gonna say yes since she already told you she's chilling and this seems like an inoffensive question
You: What do you say we hang out then?
Girl: Yeah, that would be cool
You: Sets up logistics

The second girl, well, you were both out at a festival already... why didn't you go for an instadate if you noticed she was super into you? I'm betting you probably missed the opportunity to move things forward right there and then and she grew cold on you. Plus, a week is a lot of time. Remember that attraction has an expiration date.

 

[Anonymous]

Women are fickle creatures. Just because they're responsive and their temperature is high when they talk to you, doesn't mean they will stay that way after time has passed.

The best number "closes" I've had are when I've had a chance to spark intrigue and even better, a solid connection. Give too much, and all the mystery fades away. Give too little, and the flame won't ignite.

I can't really say there's an exact amount of time you should be talking with her, but the interaction should never seem like it's dragging. Ask for the number on a high note, no gimmicks, she really has to want to give it to you. Rarely do you find success trying to win over women over text when they never really wanted to give their number in the first place.

I would ask you to sincerely go over the interactions you'd had and ask yourself honestly, did the interaction really go that well? Were you reading her interest levels and signals correctly?

I wouldn't wait that long to text her. If you want to be congruent with your intent, you shouldn't be playing any waiting games. Even if you're genuinely busy, you should be seeding the date when you see her, or over text without too much delay. Waiting a couple of days so you can ask her what her schedule is like, the coals are already ashes.

You should be texting her, at latest, the next day and setting up a meet, even if it's a few days away from when you approached. You've got to understand, women, unless they're absolutely smitten with you, won't wait. They have way more options and way more abundance than you, so you can't assume that you're the only one talking to her. Most women have a number of guys on their "plate", so to speak, at any given time. You have to strike while the iron is hot.