Setting a Date for Next Week

[Frost]

Hey guys, here's my question.

Short Version: Last night I got a girl's number (she's a friend of my friends) but I can't go out with her before next week. So how should I proceed? I can't wait that long to talk to her (phone or text) and I'm concerned that if I just chat with her without asking her out I will lose her.

Long Version: I met this girl 2 weeks ago at my friend's surprise birthday party. She knows some of my friends already (through the birthday guy) and we ended up spending a good time, me and her a female friend of mine. First I didn't give her much thought, but later on I realized that she's pretty cute, but it was kind of too late to isolate her and seduce her. So as we were leaving I hugged her goodbye and made it clear that I want to see her again (I knew it would happen sooner or later). Last night, the birthday guy's band had a concert. I was there, so was the girl and our mutual female friend. We really had fun, and I could tell she was enjoying it, I built some rapport, found out a bit about who she is and what she likes, but still I didn't have the opportunity to isolate her. When the friend went to the bathroom I took her number, and then we hung out with our other friends, but I was sitting next the that girl and there was some touching, initiated by her many times, and then I hugged her goodbye and left. The problem is I can't go out with her before next week. So how should I proceed? I can't wait that long to talk to her (phone or text) or attraction might expire and I'm concerned that if I just chat with her without asking her out I will lose her.

What do you think?

 

[Xerud]

Don't overthink. I would just drop a message today in evening hei it's me from the birthday party it was nice meeting you.

I realized no matter how you write, if girl likes you she will reply with long and interesting text. That's the difference interested vs not interested. Stay away from all robotic copied messages, be like a normal human and don't overthink. Today at 8pm I would just write: hei it's me from birthday party it was nice meeting you, how's your day? or something like that if girl likes you she'll invest time to you if not, just move on.... just talk a little over text or even better call and say for next week date and explain that you can't go this week.

 

[Frost]

Thanks Xerud for your answer. I wanted to know when should I ask her about it. Suppose I could go out this week I would just start chatting with her and then ask her if she wants to go out for whatever, but in this case should I ask her from now about a date next week? It seems kind of wrong.

 

[ray_zorse]

I don't think that 1wk away is really too much of a problem, if anything it makes you look like a high value man. For example, I attend a self-help group on Monday evenings and I care for my kids on Wednesdays, so Tuesdays and Thursdays are the only possible dating days, yet Thursdays I usually have social engagements and Tuesdays I usually work late at the office, so if she has to wait a week it's not at all unusual. What I'd normally do is say "are you free this Thurs, otherwise what about next Tues", or if Thurs is already busy I just straight-out say next Tues... Chase recommends to let her pick the time, BUT, if you have little dating window this does not apply, especially if you are grabbing phone numbers every day -- she has to fit into your schedule. Scary.
Ray

 

[Frost]

Thank you guys for your replies. I just had a chat with her. Started with a simple hey it's me etc... and I continued with something we were talking about last night, and then I asked her and it went well

 

[Xerud]

Good job, but now the date is set just stop writing that's how I do I just ping a little after some days to tell her hei you know that's what happened to me you won't believe, she'll most likely reply what? You: Hah can't tell you now, will tell you when we go out, just go with the flow.

 

[Frost]

Good job, but now the date is set just stop writing that's how I do I just ping a little after some days to tell her hei you know that's what happened to me you won't believe, she'll most likely reply what? You: Hah can't tell you now, will tell you when we go out, just go with the flow.

I did what you suggested today, she was like come on tell me (you know how they go) and when I said that I will tell her when we see each other she told me that she realized she can't make it next monday (she's got a camp till the following monday or tuesday) but she kept saying that when she comes back we should see each other (and she even suggested that if she returned on monday and wasn't completely exhausted we could go out monday night) and she seemed really into me from the way she was texting.

So now that's like a week and a half wait. Should I talk to her only once a couple of days before she comes back or is it better to maybe drop a few messages during this time?

I might be overthinking it but I used to screw up a lot in texting (with the amount especially) so I want to get this right.

 

[mb1]

Hey I'll just add that you can absolutely just set things up in the short term for the week after. It paints you as busy which will NOT lose her typically (unless she's in the market for some quick sex that night or something and will not tolerate a missed escalation window). I just did this (am not free for the next five days) and she agreed though did say "busy boy eh", which is PRESELECTION. She assumes it's other dates making her wait.

 

[Frost]

Hey I'll just add that you can absolutely just set things up in the short term for the week after. It paints you as busy which will NOT lose her typically (unless she's in the market for some quick sex that night or something and will not tolerate a missed escalation window). I just did this (am not free for the next five days) and she agreed though did say "busy boy eh", which is PRESELECTION. She assumes it's other dates making her wait.

It seems she's really into me, but I didn't get the missed escalation window part. She was saying that we should see each other after she comes back from camping.

My question was, should I text her during this time or not? If yes how?

 

[mb1]

I mean for other situations, learn not to miss them, but in this case obviously you're OK.

If she's agreed to future plans, don't text her at all. She'll like that more than any sort of chit chat. Texting is really only for building enough comfort to use as a logistics tool.

Apologies for not reading everything, but if no specific day is set yet, just wait two days after she's back, then text "hey hope you enjoyed the trip. Come tell me about it in person soon?"

Or anything showing considering for her that moves it towards logistics. It really is best to only text if needed. Some of my best dates have been weeks after we finally got some time free together, and all the preceeding chat was really playful but always moving forward towards time and date. While other guys are having conversations with her, she sees your mere dozen or so messages and thinks "damn he's more efficient than these other guys. How did he get so far with me so effortlessly?"

 

[Frost]

I mean for other situations, learn not to miss them, but in this case obviously you're OK.

If she's agreed to future plans, don't text her at all. She'll like that more than any sort of chit chat. Texting is really only for building enough comfort to use as a logistics tool.

Apologies for not reading everything, but if no specific day is set yet, just wait two days after she's back, then text "hey hope you enjoyed the trip. Come tell me about it in person soon?"

Or anything showing considering for her that moves it towards logistics. It really is best to only text if needed. Some of my best dates have been weeks after we finally got some time free together, and all the preceeding chat was really playful but always moving forward towards time and date. While other guys are having conversations with her, she sees your mere dozen or so messages and thinks "damn he's more efficient than these other guys. How did he get so far with me so effortlessly?"

Thank you