Hi
Just wondering what your thoughts are on setting boundaries in monogamy?
My gf (we're both in our forties - have been together four months) is travelling overseas shortly for a month for her sister's wedding. She'll also be meeting up with and spending four days in another country with a guy friend (same age) that she lived on a Kibbutz with 20 years ago - they were only ever friends, and they haven't seen each other since.
They have separate hotel rooms booked, but will be hanging out together back at one of the rooms at night after spending the days together, where they most likely will have a couple of wines and a joint or two.
Just wondering what your guys (and girls) thoughts are on friends of the opposite sex hanging out like this? Would you consider this a compromising situation that should be avoided in the interest of the monogamous relationship? Or is thinking like this a sign of insecurity on my part?
He's a very attractive, intelligent, accomplished single guy. She's a very attractive, intelligent woman. The thought of them being alone together, sitting on a hotel bed, drinking and getting high feels like the perfect situation for things to get out of hand if a spark between them happens to occur - regardless what good intentions they may enter that situation with.
Is my imagination making me paranoid, or is not saying something a bad move in that it's making me look like a chump?
If he decides to make a move, it seems like it could be very easy to sweep a girl off her feet in this situation, especially if they're really connecting, and especially as she probably won't be making sound decisions when drinking wine and smoking pot.
It's tricky. If I say something, I feel like I may drive her into his arms by me coming across as the jealous boyfriend, and making the situation taboo and potentially more sexually charged by asking her not to put herself in this situation ala we want what we can't have.
Your thoughts?
Thanks for your time and help.
Just wondering what your thoughts are on setting boundaries in monogamy?
My gf (we're both in our forties - have been together four months) is travelling overseas shortly for a month for her sister's wedding. She'll also be meeting up with and spending four days in another country with a guy friend (same age) that she lived on a Kibbutz with 20 years ago - they were only ever friends, and they haven't seen each other since.
They have separate hotel rooms booked, but will be hanging out together back at one of the rooms at night after spending the days together, where they most likely will have a couple of wines and a joint or two.
Just wondering what your guys (and girls) thoughts are on friends of the opposite sex hanging out like this? Would you consider this a compromising situation that should be avoided in the interest of the monogamous relationship? Or is thinking like this a sign of insecurity on my part?
He's a very attractive, intelligent, accomplished single guy. She's a very attractive, intelligent woman. The thought of them being alone together, sitting on a hotel bed, drinking and getting high feels like the perfect situation for things to get out of hand if a spark between them happens to occur - regardless what good intentions they may enter that situation with.
Is my imagination making me paranoid, or is not saying something a bad move in that it's making me look like a chump?
If he decides to make a move, it seems like it could be very easy to sweep a girl off her feet in this situation, especially if they're really connecting, and especially as she probably won't be making sound decisions when drinking wine and smoking pot.
It's tricky. If I say something, I feel like I may drive her into his arms by me coming across as the jealous boyfriend, and making the situation taboo and potentially more sexually charged by asking her not to put herself in this situation ala we want what we can't have.
Your thoughts?
Thanks for your time and help.