Setting Goals (and a personal story)

[Richard]

Hey guys,

With the New Year coming right around the corner I figure it would be a good time to put up a post about setting goals because I see a lot of people set really admirable New's Years resolutions and then fall flat after a week or two; willpower only lasts for so long. Don't worry, I'm guilty of this too - at least, I used to be

So, the simple answer is to take willpower out of it by setting smaller goals and only dedicating yourself to that small goal until it becomes routine, until it becomes embedded in part of your life. After that, set another small goal and work on it for a few weeks until it also becomes embedded into your life. Setting goals like this makes it a lot easier because you're not constantly having to fight your own self-talk the entire way.

I tried for almost 3 years to finally start losing some of my excess weight and, well, if it had worked I wouldn't have said 3 years XD. A little over a year ago I dropped a decent amount of money on a home gym and figured that spending the money/time/effort to actually buy a home gym (while also avoiding going to a public gym) would be enough of an incentive for me annnddd I was wrong, horribly horribly wrong. It sat and collected dust up until 8 months ago - between working full time and being in school full time I had very few time slots where I could work out BUT I decided that I would just try working out in the time slots I had (7am after getting home from work AND 4pm where I was getting home from school and had an hour and a half before I had to go into work on Wed + Fri) and, although I hated it, I did keep with it because after working out on Friday I knew I wouldn't have to care until Wednesday.

After about 5-6 weeks of this though it became less mundane and less of a chore; I still wasn't thrilled at this point but I didn't despise it either. After another 2 weeks, I started finding more space in my schedule to try working out... and then I bought some other equipment/add-ons for the home gym and 8 months later I'm still with it. After 3 years of consistently failing to dedicate myself to this I am finally working out consistently!

This method does take a little bit longer BUT it's also a lot safer and you're less likely to self-destruct from burnout. Instead of trying to grab a number when you've never approached a girl before, try to just stay in a conversation for 30 seconds - do that for a few weeks and then tack on another task, rinse and repeat. At the end of a year you'll either be getting laid or going on dates consistently. You have an entire year to accomplish your goals, make the most of it by breaking down your goals into segments!

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Richard dude! Keep it up and keep working out dude awesome story and am glad ya found a way to do it consistently! I never set new years resolutions, a hate the concept. If a wanna do something, I will do it now but I always like setting myself goals. I have a big goal and then the baby steps to get there.

Totally agree aiming straight to the big picture can take away ya motivation when it feels like ya not getting there so focusing on the achievable targets is great dude.

 

[Chase]

Thrilled to hear this, Richard.

I lifted hardcore for about 10 years, from 17 to 27.

I started lifting weights at 17 after my parents got me a copy of Bill Philips' Body-4-LIFE book.

Bill makes the case that it's something you have to stick to for 12 weeks.

During those first 12 weeks, you are going to want to quit, and it is going to be a drag.

Once you've made it 12 weeks, however, it's become a routine, and it's easier to keep it going than stop.

I did that, got myself into a routine with it, and lifted for almost 10 years straight with few interruptions.

(I still lift sometimes now. Had a stint of about 6 months this year where I was in the gym 1-2 times per week lifting, from around February-August. Hard to do with my schedule but I still made time)

Occasionally you get an injury and have to stop. Sometimes you're out 2-3 months.

When you get back to it, you just do the same thing all over again: another 12 weeks, and it's back to a routine.

Usually it actually takes less than 12 weeks, like you saw. 8 weeks in your case. That's about what it usually is for me, too.

But you tell yourself 12 weeks anyway, just to pace your expectations -- don't want to get disappointed if you're still struggling a little at 8 or 9 weeks.

The "12 weeks to make something your routine" process works for anything you want to make a routine.

It's great, it's super useful, and it holds very consistent.

• Want to get yourself attending salsa class often enough to get good? Make yourself go each week for 12 weeks, and you'll get past the hump of "Ugh, I don't want to do this, it's Tuesday night and I'd rather veg out" and reach the point where it becomes routine. Then it's easy to keep going, and you get better on auto-pilot.
  
  
• Want to get into a habit of going out to socialize regularly every Thursday-Friday-Saturday? Make yourself do it for 12 weeks, and by the end of that 12 weeks, it's no longer a chore -- it is just the thing you do.

Lifting weights is a great teacher of discipline for a lot of other things in life.

It's hard to do. But it's rewarding. It actually doesn't take a lot of time. You aren't dependent on any other people. You can go to the gym by yourself. You can fit it into your schedule any time you have time. It's a very flexible way to teach yourself discipline.

Weight-lifting really is fantastic for anyone who wants greater self-control, personal discipline, and insight into routine and habit formation.

A little time in the temple of iron is good for the soul.

Chase

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Nice story about how sometimes habits taking fucking forever to implement. Definitely with you on this one in many different things in my life (gaming, alcohol, girls) that I need to cut down my attention to a bit.

As for losing weight, how is your diet? I noticed that was huge for me when I started cutting. I was hitting the gym 5 times a week, but was either eating too little or too much and didn't lose weight like I was supposed to. The beer drinking also hurt me (I was drinking 6-10 beers a day). I even got a bit chubby this summer.

Lost almost all of it after like 3 or 4 months and I'm close to my first eight pack.

Keep it up.

Oh and as for "I'll spend a lot of money on it so I'll definitely be dedicated"...just lol. I've done this so many times. Even sometimes with coaching clients, they'll want to improve so much so quickly and work hard the first 3 weeks...then they disappear. I gotta hunt em down sometimes and get them back on the grind (and, not surprisingly, this is when they see the most results. Go figure xD).

Hector