Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to do?

[killerman]

Ok I met this girl a couple of weeks ago when out with a friend. She couldn't stop looking at me so I went to talk to her. She even asked me for my number so I know she was into me. And over text she'd use lots of emoticons, exclamation marks, be pretty upbeat and laughing. Then we went on one date which ended with a make out. Next day i texted her to set up second date. She agreed and said we should go for food. I say let's have dinner at my place and she agrees. And once again her texts were full of emoticons, exclamation marks etc. I'd only text to set up dates though. She even asked if I wanted her to bring anything, so I asked if she could get some parmesan cheese, which she brought. She even surprises me with a bottle of wine she bought at the off licence.

So we have dinner, and i can tell her attraction is off the scale. Then we went upstairs to my room. She's sprawled all over my bed, then we have sex. I fuck her hard for a good hour. She's moaning like crazy and I'm fucking her like crazy. She even says "you're a machine" when I'm fucking her due to my ability to last for ages in bed. Then we finish, but yet again I couldn't even manage to finish off the job by cumming. This was even after not wanking or watching porn for 2 weeks and fucking her without a condom. She cuddles up next to me I then explain to her my problems with not being able to cum, but she doesn't look disappointed. She asks me why I'm single. I say it's because I had 2 girlfriends last year but now I just want to be able to have fun without any commitments. She says she understands completely as some of her flatmates are in unhappy relationships. She says she's struggling to figure me out. A lot of girls have said that to me in the past. But why though? Anyway, she then leaves as she needs to get up early for work.

The next day she texts me saying: "not sure i'll ever be able to walk properly again haha" to which I reply saying: "haha, yeah it was good, had a great time " to which she replies saying" "i'm glad! crazy sex pest haha". That was on tuesday morning. So obviously up until then I'd done everything right. Then I followed the advice on the site where it says you should set up next date a few days after the last, to not come across as needy. So I texted her last night asking when she was next free. She responded with this: "Hey, maybe next thursday? I'll have been paid by then." Noted how this was the first text she sent where she used no emoticons, no exclamation marks. Pretty cold to be honest. Then I texted her saying: "yeah thursday night is cool". She texts me couple of hours later saying "sorry i just realised i'm going home for easter on thursday eve, will have to be the week after if you're around".

I think she's definitely losing attraction. Not the fact I'm not going to see her for 2 weeks but the fact that she doesn't use emoticons anymore, doesn't use exclamation marks anymore. She just seems very cold. So where did I mess up? I texted her the morning after having sex with her telling her I had a great time so she wouldn't go into autoreject, yet it doesn't seem to have worked. Would it have been better to just set up the third date the day after the second as judging from her texts she was still in a state of positive emotions? Or maybe I fucked up somewhere else?

 

[Zoro]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

I think she's definitely losing attraction.

I think you are definitely over analyzing things.

But if you want to be anal, I'l share my probation

She may have been trying to match and build rapport with you when she's actually not such a smily texter. Now that she's had your cock, she might feel a little more at ease to be herself and not lose you. But that sounds too much like how a man would think...

Perhaps more likely, you've given her a whirlwind of emotions and she's unsure about how feels about it because she is still figuring you out (like she said), which isn't necessarily bad. It could be very good.

All speculation and a waste of time to WORRY. Key word is worry. You should be curious and reflective of the situation if you want to learn and build your skills, but be at PEACE and let the uncertainty wash over you like a wave. Worrying will clog your judgement and creativity. Acceptance will allow you new experiences and insight.

Let it be, see her in two weeks, and take notes.

You've done good.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

Yeah, you're probably not going to be seeing this one again. However, it may or may not be your fault.

Maybe she has a boyfriend and you were just used for fun and validation. Now, instead of associating you with the good times you shared, she associates you with the guilt she feels for cheating on her boyfriend. This happens a lot with girls from nightgame and online. In cases like this, you didn't do anything wrong, she just had different expectations that you. You expected to see her again, but she never did.

In my opinion, you should have two goals when trying to maximize your odds of seeing a girl again after sex.

1) Make Her Cum: This is pretty self explanatory.

2) Treat Her Warmly: This could be offering her to spend the night at your place, cuddling, massaging etc. This helps demonstrate that you still care about her after getting the lay, so she doesn't feel used and cheap.

Be careful when you don't cum yourself though. I find if I don't cum, I can get pretty physically needy/frustrated, which manifests itself in touching her too much in an attempt to force another round of sex. If you don't cum the first time having sex with a new girl, try not to get frustrated/needy.

In conclusion, if you made her cum, treated her warmly, and didn't come off physically needy after you didn't cum, then in my opinion, she never expected to see you again, so don't worry about it.

 

[killerman]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

If she had a boyfriend though, how come she chose to do all that investing by buying a bottle of wine, parmesan cheese? If I was just a guy on the side then wouldn't she have just seen me as that guy she just wants to fuck and kept all that investment in buying wine and cheese for her boyfriend instead?

 

[ProblemSolving]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

If she had a boyfriend though, how come she chose to do all that investing by buying a bottle of wine, parmesan cheese? If I was just a guy on the side then wouldn't she have just seen me as that guy she just wants to fuck and kept all that investment in buying wine and cheese for her boyfriend instead?

Not at all, I've had girls with boyfriends take me out for dinner after sex. The possibilities are endless for why she hooked up with you and now no longer wants to. Maybe she was in a relationship that was on the rocks when you hooked up with her, but now the guy came crawling back promising her the world, so she feels a little guilty about it now. Maybe she's in a long distance relationship where she hooks up with guys when her boyfriend is out of town. There could be a million other reasons for her change of heart that have nothing to do with you, so don't waste energy thinking about it.

 

[killerman]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

Ok, well now the girl sent me a text with emoticons again and added me on facebook lol what do you think about this?

 

[ProblemSolving]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

If she agrees to meet up again AND actually shows up, then you're back in the game. Everything else (texting, emoticons, fb, etc) is fluff. Try to set up another meet up to see where you stand.

 

[killerman]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

Do you know why she added me on facebook though? Was it to test out my reaction or because she wanted me as an orbiter/option to keep around or something?

 

[Fuck This]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

You had sex with her so you are not an orbiter.

There are plenty of article here about maintaining the Post Sex relationship...Do a search.

More than likely the FB add was to research more about you, your interests, and your social circle interactions. You might be getting sized up for a LTR. Don't sweat it. This is a good sign. Now it is up to you to manage her expectations.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

No, there's definitely another guy in the picture. When you give a girl a great experience, like it sounds this one had, then she will want to meet up again ASAP, not 2 weeks from now. Whenever a girl proposes a meet up 2 weeks away, it's her way of saying, "Move on and forget about me".

 

[Fuck This]

Re: Setting up follow up date 3 days after sex...is it really the right thing to

PS, you could be right. There is always someone else out there who is competition. Could be a lot of other things like she had her period and her emotional state was down 2 days later.

I interpreted that she had to travel to family for Easter, so was unavailable since she was out of town.

KM I'd be interested if she sends you a "Hey" text in the interim. If she's "thinking about you" or "the other night " you are golden.

But who knows, maybe there is her old next door neighbor growing up who is gonna rail her in her old bedroom.....