"SEX OBJECT BS" video debate

[Godsninja]

I just saw this video on YouTube and I felt like I really understood what she was talking about. Check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4dPB9MVS8

I think there are certain things that are the way they are, because that's how people want them to be. A broad example being more men hold executive positions than females because generally speaking, females aren't exactly enticed to be the big boss within a company. There are some more things that I don't fully agree with, and some things that I don't fully understand, but this video really opened up a thought inside my head about something.

I'm just thinking, maybe this girl is right. Maybe, it's not the natural way of things. Sure, a girl can be HOT, like, sexy as hell, but if we weren't constantly subjected to advertisements, messages, ideas, etc, that placed such an incredible, unimaginable, value on this girl, just for having good hygiene and fashion sense, then this forum wouldn't even exist!

Do you guys know what I mean? It's an overload, and it's caused by the very world we live in. It's not a small sector, it's not even half. I'm a proud member of this website, because I know this website is one of the greatest websites for social dynamics out there, but also because it has such a strong base of members. It's a very nice, and exceptionally professional site. But what my theory now is, this site is only as good, and as strong, as the world is fucked up in the social/sexual sense.

A really attractive girl may have a hard time remembering the last time a guy didn't try to pick her up. She knew what he was after. He wasn't trying to trick her, fool her, or anything bad, he may have even genuinely liked her. All the guys could have had genuine interest in her as a person, but she doesn't see things this way anymore. At all. He may not even liked her, he just wanted to bum a smoke, I dono, it's the message that girls get though. And guys too..

Females are speaking out through feminist movements, and I think guys are also doing it, but in a different way. This website.

[don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who thinks sex should be only be between a man and a women in an exclusive relationship. I'm not one of those people, and it may seem like that is what the girl is talking about.. but that is NOT it.]

It's hard to put a finger on, after all I'm speaking from within the system, and it's hard to describe something from within. [We are all within ok, don't any MFer tell me they are Neo, idc if you're name is Chase Amante]. It's like there's a seriously major communications and cooperation problem between men and women, but to the CORE. I mean, the CORE. Words, don't mean shit (because for all they know, all we want is SEX! YAY! BUT NO WAIT, NAY! WE CAN BE TRUSTED!).

Agh, I could go on, because some things between men and women, are neutral, meanwhile other things favor men, and meanwhile again, other things favor women.

It really is a complicated topic [albeit it wouldn't be if we were all more humble and cooperative between the sexes, and if we were a collective mind like the Borg from Star Trek].

So, what do you guys think?
How can we escape from being labelled just another guy?
How could we even help women see this, and show them we share many of the same hardships they do [but in different ways]?

 

[Godsninja]

Here's another related video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMS4VJKekW8

 

[Franco]

Godsninja,

I haven't watched the video, but I do have a few comments on what you've mentioned.

As far as the way things are these days for hook-up culture and women, a LOT of that has actually been created by them (not intentionally, however, which I'll get into in a bit) and by the advancement of society -- specifically social media. The fact that we even have things such as YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., etc. allows women to voice opinions on very personal matters that they feel strongly about (whether or not they are right or wrong), and when they can use social media to voice these matters, they can gain the attention of other people who will follow them and voice their opinions louder.

Because of all this, men (and women) are growing up with TONS of preconceived notions about the way things are between men and women (i.e. "men only want sex", "women are all whores", "marriage always lead to divorce", "we need more nice guys"). All of these are things you wouldn't have heard on a regular basis back in the 1950s before social media even existed. The only way you could find out what women wanted was by actually approaching them and trying different things based on the little knowledge you had. There wasn't a bunch of propaganda flying around telling you "how to do this" or "why you should do it this way," so people (especially men) didn't have to worry so much about all of these external factors before even hitting puberty because they just weren't thrown in our faces.

Now we have all these Twitter and Facebook feeds blowing up about "what women really want" and "how a guy should treat a woman" and yadda yadda, so guys soak this information up thinking it's what women actually want because THEY are the ones posting it. The problem is: this is not actually what they want. Women try to come to conclusions about things after ONE big incident affects them emotionally, so they think the answer is usually to do things (or go after guys) of which are completely polar opposite to what affected them so heavily emotionally. But then of course, when they try that, it fails... because the things they do (or the guys they go after) do not affect them in a positive emotional way AT all. In other words, they go too far to the other extreme.

Anyway, all of this leads to lots of confusion for both sexes about what each side actually wants to be in complete peace and harmony. And it's not going to get "better" any time soon because the actual cause of this (which is social media and access to online information/outside influences) isn't going away either. That being said, the purpose of websites like this is to understand that this is the situation, and instead of trying to find ways to change the current views of the entire world, we encourage guys to take this knowledge and use it to their advantage to work between the cracks. We tell guys, "women still love dominant men who approach them and move quickly toward the bedroom, so regardless of all the naysay you hear about PUA and approaching women, just go against the social media grain and you'll find the results you desire." It actually helps the guys who are willing to listen because, now that there are so FEW men who approach women out of all the fears of "being creepy" or "sexual abuse," it actually makes you stand OUT when you push forward with women with sexual intentions.

Women still crave sex and affection from men just as much as they did in the 1950s (and possibly even moreso now that sex is a more public topic these days), so giving them what they actually want (yet are making it so hard to give them because of social media) is going to set you a mile above the rest of the male population.

Chase has an article related to this as well that is worth looking into if you want more detail: Why is Mainstream Dating Advice So Ineffective?

- Franco

 

[Godsninja]

Ok, thanks for the input, I'll give this some more thought.