- Joined
- Jul 16, 2020
- Messages
- 31
I just skimmed an interesting Atlantic Article called "The Sex Recession". Worth a read, if you're into societal trend commentary.
It puts forth one idea: "The very existence of online dating makes it harder for anyone to make an overture in person without seeming inappropriate."
Interesting -- yet I would whole-heartedly disagree.
Let's parse this carefully: it feels like people should be DM-ing on instagram and Swiping on Tinder, because that's what many are (unsuccessfully) doing. Yet, people are still open to in-person attempts -- just the other day, I was chatting to a girl who said, "It's really nice to be asked out in person. No one does that anymore..."
So, it is not harder to make an overture because it seems inappropriate. Rather, it is harder to make an overture because no one else is doing it anymore, and it is hard to drift from the pack.
An in-person attempt feels "old-fashioned." Well, the entire premise of the article is that people had more sex (and better relationships) back in the day!
So much the better for all of us on this forum -- we know what's what.
All this reminds me of the first time I saw the Instagram interface (which was only in June -- I don't have social media). It had the little "DM" paper airplane icon prominently displayed. I knew then and there that the vast majority of men would opt for that easy DM option over the direct, daytime approach.
But I admit -- I do worry about the way the world is going. That article has some scary stats on Japan, which it argues may be a "cautionary tale." While daygame feels like some lost, secret lost art, I do hope that more men (and women) make that leap and learn to go after what they want. I like to think that everyone -- men, women, and society, will be better off that way.
It puts forth one idea: "The very existence of online dating makes it harder for anyone to make an overture in person without seeming inappropriate."
Interesting -- yet I would whole-heartedly disagree.
Let's parse this carefully: it feels like people should be DM-ing on instagram and Swiping on Tinder, because that's what many are (unsuccessfully) doing. Yet, people are still open to in-person attempts -- just the other day, I was chatting to a girl who said, "It's really nice to be asked out in person. No one does that anymore..."
So, it is not harder to make an overture because it seems inappropriate. Rather, it is harder to make an overture because no one else is doing it anymore, and it is hard to drift from the pack.
An in-person attempt feels "old-fashioned." Well, the entire premise of the article is that people had more sex (and better relationships) back in the day!
So much the better for all of us on this forum -- we know what's what.
All this reminds me of the first time I saw the Instagram interface (which was only in June -- I don't have social media). It had the little "DM" paper airplane icon prominently displayed. I knew then and there that the vast majority of men would opt for that easy DM option over the direct, daytime approach.
But I admit -- I do worry about the way the world is going. That article has some scary stats on Japan, which it argues may be a "cautionary tale." While daygame feels like some lost, secret lost art, I do hope that more men (and women) make that leap and learn to go after what they want. I like to think that everyone -- men, women, and society, will be better off that way.