FR She always declines the date but seems to be interested.

[Energy]

I met this girl on campus. A short brunette, sitting alone reading her notebook. She wore a black skirt and a denim jacket despite the warm weather. Me and my buddies passed in front of her to sit a little far from where she was. I knew I should talk to her so I excuse myself and disappeared from the group.

I was in very good mood and my vibe was good. I was very nervous but i think my vibe was good overall because I prepare for this exact interaction, in this exact situation. Everything worked according to plan: I sat next to her to pre-open. I saw her looking at me, like evaluating who's this new person.

Then I open her:
- Me: "When does your class start ?" [Trying to slow play it because I was nervous]
- She: "We're not studying today, I'm just chilling time on campus. [With a smile]
- Me: "By chilling, you mean studying ?" [tease]
- She: "No ..." [shy smile]
- ...

I made some good teases that I saw somewhere in the forum:
- She: I wanted to be a lawyer
- Me: Why?
- She: I dunno [jiggle]
- Me: Oh I see ... You want to get revenge on someone, so you thought that you will be a lawyer and lock this person up huh ?!
- She: No... [laugh]

I also talk about the "girl are slut" problem:
- She: ... so my sister ended up with this guy. That's why my parents are overprotective of me right now. ...
- Me: I see. It's unfair. Women are labelled slut when they have more than one sexual partner.
- She: Yeah [Nods while maintaining eye contact]

After a while, we were in deep conversation about family and foreign countries, but I thought about some advice (I don't remember where it comes from) about why I should end the conversation when it's still hot so she's still wnt to talk and ease my way into a date. So I told her that I got to go to class but I would like to see her again one day if she wanted. She nod so I took my phone out of my pocket and enter her name and gave it to her to fill her number.
The interaction lasted around 7 minutes. I think I did pretty good. I did it all: tease, sexual joke, deep dive.

The problem is that I couldn't get a date. The first time I text her, she agreed to the date, but said that she's supposed to go home because [blank i don't remember]. So we postpone it for another day.

The next time on text, I propose a date three times after that but she always comes up with an excuse. She was genuinly busy with class, but I thought it was too much. So finally I gave up.

Here's where I think I did right:
- Conversation skills: I became surprisingly good and comfortable talking with her because she was so receptive and had an charismatic vibe.
- Tease and sexual frame
- Opener

STICKING POINTS and THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:

1. She was receptive and smiled and opened up a lot. And she always responded to my text. So why she always rejected the date? She didn't even propose something else when she said she can't make it. Was she not attracted at all but talked and interact with me just out of politeness ? Maybe I was a little needy when she declined the first date. I talked to her about some boring stuff because I don't want her to forget everything about me.
2. I had a motivation problem too because she was not as good as how I thought she was in the opening phase. How do you guys deal with this ?

I texted her once after all that just to see how she's doing, and then I delete her phone number out of frustration.

So that was it. I would like to know your opinion about all of this.

 

[HoofHearted]

Honestly seems about par. Obviously we want to get under par but it dont always happen.

All i can do is guess, from being in this situation several times myself. Here are my thoughts

1. Your initial interaction mightve been too meaty. Leave too heavy of an impression, and there comes a stress around ever meeting you again. It feels too much like an 'event', which emotionally ambivalent people (women) avoid.

2. You might've texted too much, i'm not really sure from what you shared but i get the feeling you might have. Maybe this gave you opportunities to make mistakes.

3. When she rescheduled, you might've handled it poorly. If she had a legitimate need, that's one thing. From what I guess she maybbbeeee didn't like the vibe around meeting you again (too heavy) so you were on your back foot anyway. The fish was spooked because you splashed the water is my guess, and where you needed to soften and whisper you kept splashing.

All just a guess based mostly on how i wouldve fucked it up.

But good job for getting in there and getting a good number in the first place!

 

[Energy]

Honestly seems about par. Obviously we want to get under par but it dont always happen.

All i can do is guess, from being in this situation several times myself. Here are my thoughts

1. Your initial interaction mightve been too meaty. Leave too heavy of an impression, and there comes a stress around ever meeting you again. It feels too much like an 'event', which emotionally ambivalent people (women) avoid.

2. You might've texted too much, i'm not really sure from what you shared but i get the feeling you might have. Maybe this gave you opportunities to make mistakes.

3. When she rescheduled, you might've handled it poorly. If she had a legitimate need, that's one thing. From what I guess she maybbbeeee didn't like the vibe around meeting you again (too heavy) so you were on your back foot anyway. The fish was spooked because you splashed the water is my guess, and where you needed to soften and whisper you kept splashing.

All just a guess based mostly on how i wouldve fucked it up.

But good job for getting in there and getting a good number in the first place!

Thanks! I appreciate the feedback ! It makes sense: interaction too heavy, maybe overproviding good emotion. Text game is very mediocre. Too needy. I didn't handle her mini rejection very well!

 

[Skills]

Post the text convo.