- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Ok, so I went on a couple dates with a girl this weekend. Kinda confused what happened.
Date 1:
I arrive tired from an all day hike, feeling kinda sick and I was still getting used to speaking Bulgarian for hours at a time (this was in Bulgaria). So basically, I ran a pretty bad date. For the most part, I acted like a platonic nice guy friend. I would have tried to kiss her, but try as I might to try to create ST via touch and non verbals, she showed no indicators of interest. So I kinda pussied out in the end. Also, she told me earlier on the date that she has a BF ( still,we met via Tinder, so its implied that this isn't a platonic "just friends" type of meeting, so there's hope yet). Anyways, after we split, I had taken no action, so I thought that would be the end of it. To my surprise, she mssged me on FB five mins later "You're soo cute".
So I guess my fundamentals carried me through that first date, despite the fact that I did nothing. And it's now clear that she has no problems cheating on her BF.
In between dates, we chatted mostly about logistics. But there are two things of importance:
1. I invited her over and she said yes. The only reason we didn't end up having the date at mine is cause we apparently lived further away from each other than we thought (both of us are on vacation, neither of us know the city).
2. I had this convo:
Me: [In response to her saying she was out shopping] Aww, that's so sweet! You went out to buy me a present! ;p
Her: Well of course! How else will you remember me?
Me: There are plenty of other ways...
Her: Oh, like what?
Me: Well, I could tell you, but that would be no fun! You'll have to use your imagination.
Her: Haha I guess I will
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The point is, even though she didn't directly acknowledge it, I made my intents pretty clear, and it didn't scare her off. So I assumed she was at least kind of on board.
Date 2:
I start out in the middle of the Sofia city center hanging out with some friends. She was also hanging out with a friend of hers. Earlier in the day, she had invited me to join them, I declined saying I'd prefer we're alone and that she should message me when her friend leaving. She agreed to this. When she finally messaged me, she said she didn't have a way to get to where I am without her friend because they're 40 mins away and her friend has a car. Reluctantly, I agree to go along with her friend (and said friend's BF).
After half an hour, they arrive. We go hang out in the same general park area for a while. Her friend and the BF are pretty chill. I mostly act social while they're around. Eventually, they go home. So its just me and my target girl again for the next few hours.
We start walking around looking for somewhere to buy beer. I do a compliance test by locking my elbow with hers as we go. She seems ok with it. After walking for a little while, I stop her and try to kiss her. She rejects it saying "Don't try to kiss me!". I don't even acknowledge she said anything and I just move onto a different topic. We walk around for a little while longer and sit down on a bench. We're side by side, my arm around her, she's leaning into me, legs touching (both of us are wearing shorts), my hand rubbing her inner thigh. After teasing her pretty mercilessly for the past ten minutes, I started deep diving her pretty hard about her figure skating career. She tells me how she's not sure she wants to do it, and one day she hates it one day she loves it. Her biggest insecurity being that she doesn't think she's good enough and that she'll accomplish what she needs to. In the end, I tell her in a sexy voice, "it'll be ok, you'll make it, I believe in you". Then it grows silent. We're staring into each other's eyes, she's biting her lips, I'm now massaging her thigh with my hand etc. I knew I should try to kiss her again, but it had only been 10 minutes since my last attempt. So I pussied out. -.-
Anyways, we go sit at a restaurant and have a couple beers. Nothing of significance happens there. As we're leaving, she talks about how when she's drunk, she always feels like a baby that's just been carried (LOL?). Anyways, I say "You mean like this?" And I sweep her off her feet and into a bridal carry. I walk about 10 feet to another bench and set her on my lap. She's ok with it. After 5 or 10 seconds, I try to kiss her again. She gives me the cheek. I back off for a moment and look into her eyes. She's clearly turned on "biting her lips, holding deep eye contact, smiling etc". So I try kissing her again. She rejects it. So I start kissing her all the way down her neck all while she's giggling and saying "Stop it! I have a BF!" But she doesn't actually pull away from the neck kisses. I keep going for a while. Still, she doesn't allow me to kiss her lips.
We sit there and talk for a little longer. Eventually, her mom calls her saying she's coming to pick her up. So we walk back to where her mom is supposed to show up. We sit down. This time, my leg's over hers, so we're touching skin to skin. She asks me to give her a hand massage. I decline and instead tell her to give me one. She complies. After she finishes, I try to kiss her again. She rejects it and starts giggling. So I move back to kissing her neck again. She lays her head in my lap (Im still kissing her neck). After a while, she picks hear head back up. We talk for a little longer.
I forgot the contextt, but for some reason, I was trying to find where she was ticklish. I started out on her neck, then I moved to her tummy. Eventually, I put my hand underneath her shirt still under the pretense of "tickling". But instead, I turn it into full on groping. Again, no resistance to this! I try to move up to put my hands underneath her bra, but she moves my hands away all while giggling. We talk for a little while longer, her mom arrives. She leaves.
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I wrote this one in specific because I'm confused. She clearly liked me, she accepted my sexual frames. She called me cute. She was allowing me to escalate more than a girl with a BF should (see sitting on my lap, groping her, kissing her neck etc). But at the same time, she kept rejecting kisses on the lips saying she has a BF. But if she actually meant it, I feel like she would've gotten mad and left when I tried to escalate so many times. And she cetainly wouldn't have allowed me to do some of the things I did. Also, if she actually meant the BF thing, she would be saying "stop it" when she rejects me in a stern matter of factly voice. Instead, she was saying it in the playful "I'm saying stop, but I really mean keep going" voice. So my question is...what is this? Was her reluctance to kiss me some weird form of LMR? If it was, I feel like I persisted quite a bit and should have broken it by the end. Is there anything else I could have done in this situation?
My apologies for the poor writing skills. I didn't' have time to read this over after I wrote it. lol
P.S.
Hopefully its obvious that when I say she's giggling, I mean the happy "Im attracted to you" kind. Not the "I'm really nervous" type.
Date 1:
I arrive tired from an all day hike, feeling kinda sick and I was still getting used to speaking Bulgarian for hours at a time (this was in Bulgaria). So basically, I ran a pretty bad date. For the most part, I acted like a platonic nice guy friend. I would have tried to kiss her, but try as I might to try to create ST via touch and non verbals, she showed no indicators of interest. So I kinda pussied out in the end. Also, she told me earlier on the date that she has a BF ( still,we met via Tinder, so its implied that this isn't a platonic "just friends" type of meeting, so there's hope yet). Anyways, after we split, I had taken no action, so I thought that would be the end of it. To my surprise, she mssged me on FB five mins later "You're soo cute".
So I guess my fundamentals carried me through that first date, despite the fact that I did nothing. And it's now clear that she has no problems cheating on her BF.
In between dates, we chatted mostly about logistics. But there are two things of importance:
1. I invited her over and she said yes. The only reason we didn't end up having the date at mine is cause we apparently lived further away from each other than we thought (both of us are on vacation, neither of us know the city).
2. I had this convo:
Me: [In response to her saying she was out shopping] Aww, that's so sweet! You went out to buy me a present! ;p
Her: Well of course! How else will you remember me?
Me: There are plenty of other ways...
Her: Oh, like what?
Me: Well, I could tell you, but that would be no fun! You'll have to use your imagination.
Her: Haha I guess I will
---------
The point is, even though she didn't directly acknowledge it, I made my intents pretty clear, and it didn't scare her off. So I assumed she was at least kind of on board.
Date 2:
I start out in the middle of the Sofia city center hanging out with some friends. She was also hanging out with a friend of hers. Earlier in the day, she had invited me to join them, I declined saying I'd prefer we're alone and that she should message me when her friend leaving. She agreed to this. When she finally messaged me, she said she didn't have a way to get to where I am without her friend because they're 40 mins away and her friend has a car. Reluctantly, I agree to go along with her friend (and said friend's BF).
After half an hour, they arrive. We go hang out in the same general park area for a while. Her friend and the BF are pretty chill. I mostly act social while they're around. Eventually, they go home. So its just me and my target girl again for the next few hours.
We start walking around looking for somewhere to buy beer. I do a compliance test by locking my elbow with hers as we go. She seems ok with it. After walking for a little while, I stop her and try to kiss her. She rejects it saying "Don't try to kiss me!". I don't even acknowledge she said anything and I just move onto a different topic. We walk around for a little while longer and sit down on a bench. We're side by side, my arm around her, she's leaning into me, legs touching (both of us are wearing shorts), my hand rubbing her inner thigh. After teasing her pretty mercilessly for the past ten minutes, I started deep diving her pretty hard about her figure skating career. She tells me how she's not sure she wants to do it, and one day she hates it one day she loves it. Her biggest insecurity being that she doesn't think she's good enough and that she'll accomplish what she needs to. In the end, I tell her in a sexy voice, "it'll be ok, you'll make it, I believe in you". Then it grows silent. We're staring into each other's eyes, she's biting her lips, I'm now massaging her thigh with my hand etc. I knew I should try to kiss her again, but it had only been 10 minutes since my last attempt. So I pussied out. -.-
Anyways, we go sit at a restaurant and have a couple beers. Nothing of significance happens there. As we're leaving, she talks about how when she's drunk, she always feels like a baby that's just been carried (LOL?). Anyways, I say "You mean like this?" And I sweep her off her feet and into a bridal carry. I walk about 10 feet to another bench and set her on my lap. She's ok with it. After 5 or 10 seconds, I try to kiss her again. She gives me the cheek. I back off for a moment and look into her eyes. She's clearly turned on "biting her lips, holding deep eye contact, smiling etc". So I try kissing her again. She rejects it. So I start kissing her all the way down her neck all while she's giggling and saying "Stop it! I have a BF!" But she doesn't actually pull away from the neck kisses. I keep going for a while. Still, she doesn't allow me to kiss her lips.
We sit there and talk for a little longer. Eventually, her mom calls her saying she's coming to pick her up. So we walk back to where her mom is supposed to show up. We sit down. This time, my leg's over hers, so we're touching skin to skin. She asks me to give her a hand massage. I decline and instead tell her to give me one. She complies. After she finishes, I try to kiss her again. She rejects it and starts giggling. So I move back to kissing her neck again. She lays her head in my lap (Im still kissing her neck). After a while, she picks hear head back up. We talk for a little longer.
I forgot the contextt, but for some reason, I was trying to find where she was ticklish. I started out on her neck, then I moved to her tummy. Eventually, I put my hand underneath her shirt still under the pretense of "tickling". But instead, I turn it into full on groping. Again, no resistance to this! I try to move up to put my hands underneath her bra, but she moves my hands away all while giggling. We talk for a little while longer, her mom arrives. She leaves.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote this one in specific because I'm confused. She clearly liked me, she accepted my sexual frames. She called me cute. She was allowing me to escalate more than a girl with a BF should (see sitting on my lap, groping her, kissing her neck etc). But at the same time, she kept rejecting kisses on the lips saying she has a BF. But if she actually meant it, I feel like she would've gotten mad and left when I tried to escalate so many times. And she cetainly wouldn't have allowed me to do some of the things I did. Also, if she actually meant the BF thing, she would be saying "stop it" when she rejects me in a stern matter of factly voice. Instead, she was saying it in the playful "I'm saying stop, but I really mean keep going" voice. So my question is...what is this? Was her reluctance to kiss me some weird form of LMR? If it was, I feel like I persisted quite a bit and should have broken it by the end. Is there anything else I could have done in this situation?
My apologies for the poor writing skills. I didn't' have time to read this over after I wrote it. lol
P.S.
Hopefully its obvious that when I say she's giggling, I mean the happy "Im attracted to you" kind. Not the "I'm really nervous" type.
