She said maybe to a date

[Naterdogg1]

So I want to go on a date this weekend and I've got a few girls in mind that I want to ask out. The girl I wanted to ask out the most was working tonight and I decided to go ask her out (I know, not the best place to ask a girl out, but its the only time I see her) and decided not to put it off and just go for it. I read the article "How to ask a girl out" just before going and tried to APPLY the main points as best as I could. I struck up a conversation with her and she seemed pretty happy to see me. We used to work together so I know her fairly well. It went pretty smooth I thought, and I made sure it was low key (as in nobody else was standing right there so there wasn't any pressure to say yes or no) and that it was "proposed on a high note". She even told me that Saturday this weekend will be like the first day off shes had in a while. So I asked her if she wanted to go to this fun haunted mill thing they have here for Halloween (I thought it would be perfect since shes been working a lot) and we could leave at whatever time worked best for her. She thought about it, and then she said maybe. It was more of an "uncertain" maybe than a "hopeful" maybe too. So I just smiled and said "Ok sounds good!" and then a customer came through her line and we both said "see ya later". I didn't even think to ask for her number...

I was planning on either a yes or a no, but now that she said maybe I don't know what to do haha! How should I follow up on this? BTW I can just ask for her number on Facebook so that shouldn't be a big deal.

 

[Franco]

Naterdogg,

On top of what Casanova wrote, your invitation to "a Haunted House" is extremely vague with your intention. IS this really a date? What is it that you are trying to accomplish with this? Also, it's asking a lot of her to take her Saturday evening and dedicate the WHOLE evening to going there with you when she's not really sure what the intention is.

When you invite a girl to something more simple such as coffee, a drink, yogurt, or ice cream, the intention is much more clear. You want to go on a date with her. Of course, if you want to be even more clear, you can also compliment her directly during your conversation. As it stands right now, she said "maybe" because she had no idea what it was you were trying to get out of this, so that will probably eventually translate into a "no" unless you contact her again.

Also, since the girl already knows you, it puts you at a disadvantage since she may not have that type of attraction toward you (and if she did initially, it might be gone by now). You can try to contact her on Facebook if you want, but I wouldn't expect too much to come of it. Try being more direct if you do decide to contact her, and possibly invite her for a drink or coffee instead.

At the same time, be sure to start approaching new women!

- Franco

 

[ray_zorse]

Although you should obviously try to avoid "maybe" in the first place by being more direct and clear and building more attraction first, what to do if it happens? I want to say "maybe means no" (also "later means no" in the contrxt of escalatinh to sex) to let them understand I won't let them hold leverage, but I'm wary of solidifying "maybe" into "no"... in the case of my son's teacher (mentioned ages ago in another post) I fucked up the ask a bit, was having a bad day and moved too hastily, got a "I'll think about it" so I said "hmm, that sounds like a polite refusal"... she insisted she really would think about it, maybe wanted to consult school policy (next time I'll set more discretion frames)... I should have busted on her a bit, how are you gonna let me know the outcome, send a note home? Anyway was there a more elegant way to handle this or do you just have to do things right next time? (note -- NEXTed -- she wasn't that cute anyway).
Ray

 

[Naterdogg1]

Naterdogg,

On top of what Casanova wrote, your invitation to "a Haunted House" is extremely vague with your intention. IS this really a date? What is it that you are trying to accomplish with this? Also, it's asking a lot of her to take her Saturday evening and dedicate the WHOLE evening to going there with you when she's not really sure what the intention is.

When you invite a girl to something more simple such as coffee, a drink, yogurt, or ice cream, the intention is much more clear. You want to go on a date with her. Of course, if you want to be even more clear, you can also compliment her directly during your conversation. As it stands right now, she said "maybe" because she had no idea what it was you were trying to get out of this, so that will probably eventually translate into a "no" unless you contact her again.

Also, since the girl already knows you, it puts you at a disadvantage since she may not have that type of attraction toward you (and if she did initially, it might be gone by now). You can try to contact her on Facebook if you want, but I wouldn't expect too much to come of it. Try being more direct if you do decide to contact her, and possibly invite her for a drink or coffee instead.

At the same time, be sure to start approaching new women!

- Franco

Thanks for the reply. (and everyone else who has replied)

Yeah I guess your right that's very vague. I don't know if this is even gonna go anywhere. Figures.. haha.

As far as approaching new women I've actually been stuck in a very religious community for a while now and sex is strictly against most peoples morals here. I have a hard time meeting many women that I could actually sleep with. Of course the plan is to get out, but it wont be for a while most likely. In the mean time, I struggle finding women that aren't so up tight.