She told me she almost said my name during sex with her bf.

[M..]

I know a girl that I work with twice a week, that I've been on and off with.

She has a bf that she lives with, but when we talk, she always calls him an asshole and she wants to ditch him soon (which may or may not be the truth). We've been meeting as sort of coleagues to go to the gym and for a coffee at my place. We slept together a few times (she initiated it) at the beginning of our "affair" when her bf was on holiday, but it stopped, when she told me that she can't do this anymore.

Lately she became flirtatious and affectionate again and last time we've met at work, she told me "It's not because I'm in love with you (she repeated it twice), but it's been two times already while during sex with my bf I almost screamed your name."
I replied in a playfull and indifferent manner with a smirk on my face.

Later that night she continued to be flirtatious, touched me a lot, complimented my looks, looked at me constantly and she wanted me to do her a massage on wednesday morning, and I agreed to do it.

I don't want to look like a complete desperate and an idiot to you guys, but I'd like to know your opinion. Her actions clearly shows that she might be interested again. What her words about not being in love (which in my language has wider meaning - not necessarily relationship type of loving) with me could mean? Was it sort of a test or her not wanting to come off as needy? Or maybe she just treats me as a "gay-male" friend now and do not want me to do any move? What do you think?

Thanks for your help!

 

[M..]

Bump

 

[Noir]

Well, Mr. M, thank you for admitting yourself to Girlschase. Dr. Noir MD has just diagnosed you with a bad case of oneitis. The cure? Go approach more women.

Seriously tho this shits getting old around these boards. I'm kinda going through something slightly similar (albeit with a much smoother, non-needy approach). In fact, I'm on the brink of oneitis myself (however some more approaches for me today should clear that up completely). Women with bfs do this shit all the time. It's not worth the god damn energy to invest all your time and thoughts into this girl just like she wants so she can be an emotional vampire in your life for the sake of validation.

Next her and get lays from girls that are better. The board is strictly for self improvement, not for pining over one specific woman and figuring out how to chase and win her.

If later down the road you guys meet and she's still down to fuck, then great. If not, who cares because you just got laid by a bunch of other girls. Much better thinking, no?

 

[M..]

Thank you for your diagnosis It's correct. Your thinking is definitely better and I try to act like this.
I'm aware that I'm too attached to her (I can't really do much about it right now, because even when I'm meeting different girls, I'm still comparing them with her, and she always wins ), but I want to know what mistakes I've made and I'm still making, so in the future it won't happen again with different (or possibly this) girl.
I want to basically get as much knowledge and experience as much as I can, while interacting with her.

The thing I do correctly is that I don't ACT needy around her. I'm not calling her or pursue (I backed away when she did) but we meet each other once or twice a week at work. It is her who initiates all the touching and flirting.

My actions show the Devil May Care attitude, even though inside I'm thinking about her almost constantly. She also knows that I'm meeting different women. The funny coincidence happed last friday - a few good looking girls called me at work on whatsapp (the photos are shown), and she saw them. She was asking constantly what's the deal about them.


I'll ask some more general, yet still related question though.

Is it ok to set dates with a girl in the morning, while it's the only time available for her? If her time is limited (a couple of hours) - can sex happen at all? (I'm more focused on sex or making out, so I wouldn't be friendzoned which is probably happening right now, and not to get a case of blueballs) What's your experience with morning dates? Should I make dates only in the evenings?

 

[M..]

Bump.