She used sex as a weapon for the first time


Space Monkey
space monkey
Oct 22, 2017
So me and a girl that I’ve been seeing for close to a year know. Got into a big argument and made up. But need advice as to what to do next. She used sex as a tool after we were ok. Here’s the story you can skip and go to the end to my question.

Last night was crazy with ups and downs. We had planned to go drink but the girl had texted me if we can have a chill night and grave something to eat. When we were going to the restaurant I accidentally got into the freeway and she said I thought we were going to that restaurant. I replied saying I got on by accident she said it was fine we can go to a bar and I said no it’s fine we can go to the restaurant. So I turned around and drove back. She kept insisting that it was ok.

When we got to the restaurant I mentioned if she wanted to get a pitcher of beer and she said we can. In my mind I was only going to get tacos and said I wasn’t that hungry. She said it’s ok I’m not hungry so I just ordered a glass of beer and no food. I asked her how was her day and she started talking about drama with one of her coworkers girlfriend who started talking shit to her at a bar they ran into each other. Her coworker is nerdy and I’ve meet him once and can tell he has a crush on her. So she got visibly upset and I said that sucks but we should change the subject since she looked upset.

She got quite and looked mad. So I tried talking about my job. And she didn’t want to carry a conversation. So I asked for the check and we left.

This is when it got crazy with ups and downs. She started telling as we were going to the car

Her - you always do this. You say we’re having dinner and end up drinking and I’m with an empty stomach. We have no communication if you didn’t want to eat you should have just told me.

Me - I was hungry only wanted tacos I know I didn’t say it but I was going to eat.

We didn’t say anything and got into the car and said let’s go someplace else to eat. She stayed quiet and mad. So I said do you have any preferences. She just said.

Her - it doesn’t matter what I say you’re still going to go where you want to go my opinion doesn’t count to you.

So I drove back to her house and I stayed quiet the whole way.

When we got there she was getting ready to leave my car I said wait let me talk to you a bit. So I used chase example of the best way to apologize with out saying sorry.

So she said ok

Me- I know I didn’t handle everything correctly tonight. I could have done it differently like mentioning that I wasn’t that hungry but was only getting tacos and far as me doing what I want I like having your suggestions so we can do something we both like. In the future I’ll try my best to communicate better.

Her -that’s all I want, communication

She then looked at me deeply into my eyes and she started making out with me. We then jumped into the back seat and made out more. About ten minutes later we stopped and she put my arm round her and had a conversation about her week and family. We did this on and off like 4 more times. Making out then snuggling. I was so turned on and she was to so I said let’s go to your room and she said no and got mad again.

She said we just into an argument and you want to have sex. So she jumped into the front seat. So I jumped as well. And she said.

Her - I’m sorry for making a scene at the parking lot. It’s just that you frustrate me all the time.

Me - (I stayed quiet)

Since I didn’t say anything she started talking about my big project at my job. So I told her about it and I got excited since I’m proud of how it’s turning out.

As I was talking she stopped me and made out with me. And then she put her and my initials on my windshield from the steam. I then messed around and drew a heart around our initials. And she said:

Her - are we in high school and put her head on my shoulder for a minute.

So we got out and I walked her to her house and hinted at going in and she said not tonight and went in her house.

I don’t know how to handle what to next. Should I text her today the after our date. Stay quiet for a couple days or text her today as if nothing happened?

I know I could of done things differently I have some ideas of what I did wrong but I want your guys opinions of how I handled it? Could have done something better or prevented the whole thing. My real question is that I don’t like it that she used sex as a tool and how to prevent it? It’s the first time we don’t have sex when we go out.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Jun 24, 2019
To be honest, you're being kind of a dick. :)

Her -that’s all I want, communication
Her - I’m sorry for making a scene at the parking lot. It’s just that you frustrate me all the time.

Me - (I stayed quiet)
Like, she tells you straight up what she wants and you just stay silent. I don't think she used sex as a tool at all her, you were just acting a bit uncalibrated, and it really did seem like all you wanted to do was lay pipe (which is fine if you're being honest about it).

So I think you need to be a bit warmer to her and talk to her a bit more. So yeah you can totally text her again, just act like nothing happened.