- Joined
- Sep 8, 2024
- Messages
- 85
Fuck my life!
Writing this on the bus back from a night out
Report:
Outfit of the night was a Zara jersey with jorts and silver jewelry (watches, two rings on the right hand and a gold bracelet). I went to my standard night game spot in the city, honestly not expecting much, the main goal of the night was to get enough data for a field report and start putting myself out there again (been too busy with work and been struggling with a mindset issue that’s hindered my approach rate for weeks now)
As I enter the bar, i greet the bouncers who i’ve come to befriend and the bartender even gives me free drinks sometimes. This spot is currently my go to in the city. It has lots of games like pool, darts etc which is good for socializing and for picking up girls. Tonight the bar is a bit dead because most people are out of town for fourth of july weekend.
I put my name down on the list of people in line to play pool. In the mean time, I talk to some cool looking guys, greet the regulars that i know and just hang around. After I play my game, I see a group of two cute girls playing pool. One of them is brunette, really hot, would definitely be one of the most attractive girls i’ve gotten with (except i didn’t).
She’s taking a shot and i try to give her a tip but she doesn’t even need and scores anyway. After her turn, i go up to her:
Me: “you know, you never told me?!”
her: “wait, told you what?”
Me: “your name”
Her: laughs, “oh i thought there was something i was supposed to tell you. it’s girl A”
Me: “haha, i’m (my name), nice to meet you. You're killing it here!”
Me: "so who are you here with?"
Her: "Haha! I'm just really lucky tonight"
Her: points to her partner, "i'm with my roommate, girl B"
We have some filler convo here that I can't remember but it was mostly just bantering and teasing
(her roommate then comes over because it's my girl's turn to play)
Me: "you're girl B, right?"
Her: "yeah!"
Me: "Sweet, I'm (my name) Girl A has told me so much about you. She says you're the best and that i HAVE to meet you" (Girl A didn't say this but i was just fucking around)
Her: "Hahaha, no way!"
We then talk about how they became roommates. They apparently found each other on facebook and never got to see in person before moving in together
My girl then comes over. I tell her that girl B told me how they became roommates and I shared my feelings on living with stranger roommates then we traded our bad roommate stories. (This is my attempt at building connection lol. @Teevster am I doing it right?)
The girls win the round with my girl carrying the game on her shoulders. Everyone is super excited so we high five and continue talking some more. We talk about where she's from, what she's doing in the city etc I incorporate some cold reading to avoid making the conversation one boring interview.
Observation
One thing I notice that's different from my conversation with most girls is that this girl kept coming back to me after her every turn at the pool table, as in she was interested enough to want to put in her own effort and continue the interaction. With most girls I talk to (even girls not as pretty as this one), I feel like i'm always the one putting in effort to move the interaction and conversation forward. Is this normal? I've found it impossible to get as far as I did here with those apathetic girls
Continue report:
The next game, the girls unfortunately lose. I start talking to a girl on the team that beat my girls and she's super social - I honestly thought she was into me. Super cute too. This new girl eventually starts to talk to my girl and her friend and they go get drinks. I talk to some more regulars and meet up with the girls later. After making some small talk about what drink they ordered, I asked if I could steal my girl and they gave their permission(I don't think I've had girls give me this much explicit permission before) and so my girl and I go to the bar to get drinks.
I never buy girls drink on a night out but she seemed pretty interested in me so I offered to. We move from the bar to some chairs and talk about her love for writing and I compare that to my love for music. This was my attempt at deep diving. I was honestly a bit nervous during the interaction so I can't say how good of a deep dive it was. After a while of talking, her friend comes over to join the convo. We decide to leave the current bar and go to a spot that i suggested. This is where I start to worry things might not go my way:
They said they wanted to dance. i'm shit at dancing and avoid dancey clubs/bars for this reason. Nevertheless, I take them to this spot and the vibes are actually pretty good. it was a bit slow at first because there wasn't enough people but people started piling in. I decided to get us shots because it was a bit awkward just standing around for a bit (i came to regret this because those shots turned out to be expensive... fuck you new york city).
After shots, we move to the main dance floor and the girls kinda stand around awkwardly. I tease them a bit and get them to move their bodies more. The music also starts getting better so that helped. Now lies my dilemma:
- The music is kinda shitty for seduction in my opinion. Think mainstream current and 2010s pop music like Chappell Roan's Hot to go and One direction's That's what makes you beautiful.
- The girls also didn't bring a lot of energy to the dancefloor so I felt like I had to be the one to start off with high energy dancing and pass it around (I already hate dancing so this sucked)
Anyway, i try my best to dance with both girls and at some point, my girl's friend melts into the background for a bit - leaving just me and my girl. I cut the space between us and make things more seductive - she gives me the eyes that signals that she wants to kiss so I go in for a kiss and break it off a couple seconds after. We then danced a bit and I made a joke about how romantic the songs were.
(The Dj switches the song to an even more un-romantic song)
Her: Wow, this is even more romantic! (Sarcastically of course)
We both laugh
We kissed again at some point but it was also brief - I wanted to avoid any kind of ASD by kissing in front of friend though I feel like this backfired. The three of us ended up dancing with some old guy who brought a lot of energy to the dance floor. At this point, touch between my girl and i is minimal because her friend is dancing with us. There were a couple of minutes when we were side by side and I hold her waist.
This is where everything goes to shit
My girl has started to feel a bit distant now. My guess is she got bored - to be honest, looking at our interaction, there was no super high point. Maybe it's because I'm getting used to interacting with women in a flirty way but I dont think there was any point that would make me memorable in her eyes. I think I should have gone for the full on makeout to stimulate her but her roommate being there made it difficult. We leave the bar and talk to the old guy for a bit. At this point, I can tell that the chances for same night lay are slim to none because of the energy my girl was putting out. She went from being into me at the first venue to almost not wanting to make eye contact with me now. I try to move them to another spot but they make up some bullshit excuse as to why they can't go and have to leave without me so I grab my girl's phone number and wished them good night. I'll try this number in the morning but I doubt it will go anywhere. My girl told me she did have a good time and that i was sweet but it honestly felt like i was being let down easy.
Questions
- I'd love to know where things went wrong - was I not stimulating her enough in the club or not stimulating enough in the entire interaction in general.
- How do I not be boring?? I go through most of my life with a serious lens so it's sometimes hard for me to go into a fun, life of the party mode when I need to socialize and charm a girl. On the other hand, I'm also wary of doing too much to entertain women that I just become a clown who doesn't get laid. Has anyone else struggled with this?
Writing this on the bus back from a night out
Report:
Outfit of the night was a Zara jersey with jorts and silver jewelry (watches, two rings on the right hand and a gold bracelet). I went to my standard night game spot in the city, honestly not expecting much, the main goal of the night was to get enough data for a field report and start putting myself out there again (been too busy with work and been struggling with a mindset issue that’s hindered my approach rate for weeks now)
As I enter the bar, i greet the bouncers who i’ve come to befriend and the bartender even gives me free drinks sometimes. This spot is currently my go to in the city. It has lots of games like pool, darts etc which is good for socializing and for picking up girls. Tonight the bar is a bit dead because most people are out of town for fourth of july weekend.
I put my name down on the list of people in line to play pool. In the mean time, I talk to some cool looking guys, greet the regulars that i know and just hang around. After I play my game, I see a group of two cute girls playing pool. One of them is brunette, really hot, would definitely be one of the most attractive girls i’ve gotten with (except i didn’t).
She’s taking a shot and i try to give her a tip but she doesn’t even need and scores anyway. After her turn, i go up to her:
Me: “you know, you never told me?!”
her: “wait, told you what?”
Me: “your name”
Her: laughs, “oh i thought there was something i was supposed to tell you. it’s girl A”
Me: “haha, i’m (my name), nice to meet you. You're killing it here!”
Me: "so who are you here with?"
Her: "Haha! I'm just really lucky tonight"
Her: points to her partner, "i'm with my roommate, girl B"
We have some filler convo here that I can't remember but it was mostly just bantering and teasing
(her roommate then comes over because it's my girl's turn to play)
Me: "you're girl B, right?"
Her: "yeah!"
Me: "Sweet, I'm (my name) Girl A has told me so much about you. She says you're the best and that i HAVE to meet you" (Girl A didn't say this but i was just fucking around)
Her: "Hahaha, no way!"
We then talk about how they became roommates. They apparently found each other on facebook and never got to see in person before moving in together
My girl then comes over. I tell her that girl B told me how they became roommates and I shared my feelings on living with stranger roommates then we traded our bad roommate stories. (This is my attempt at building connection lol. @Teevster am I doing it right?)
The girls win the round with my girl carrying the game on her shoulders. Everyone is super excited so we high five and continue talking some more. We talk about where she's from, what she's doing in the city etc I incorporate some cold reading to avoid making the conversation one boring interview.
Observation
One thing I notice that's different from my conversation with most girls is that this girl kept coming back to me after her every turn at the pool table, as in she was interested enough to want to put in her own effort and continue the interaction. With most girls I talk to (even girls not as pretty as this one), I feel like i'm always the one putting in effort to move the interaction and conversation forward. Is this normal? I've found it impossible to get as far as I did here with those apathetic girls
Continue report:
The next game, the girls unfortunately lose. I start talking to a girl on the team that beat my girls and she's super social - I honestly thought she was into me. Super cute too. This new girl eventually starts to talk to my girl and her friend and they go get drinks. I talk to some more regulars and meet up with the girls later. After making some small talk about what drink they ordered, I asked if I could steal my girl and they gave their permission(I don't think I've had girls give me this much explicit permission before) and so my girl and I go to the bar to get drinks.
I never buy girls drink on a night out but she seemed pretty interested in me so I offered to. We move from the bar to some chairs and talk about her love for writing and I compare that to my love for music. This was my attempt at deep diving. I was honestly a bit nervous during the interaction so I can't say how good of a deep dive it was. After a while of talking, her friend comes over to join the convo. We decide to leave the current bar and go to a spot that i suggested. This is where I start to worry things might not go my way:
They said they wanted to dance. i'm shit at dancing and avoid dancey clubs/bars for this reason. Nevertheless, I take them to this spot and the vibes are actually pretty good. it was a bit slow at first because there wasn't enough people but people started piling in. I decided to get us shots because it was a bit awkward just standing around for a bit (i came to regret this because those shots turned out to be expensive... fuck you new york city).
After shots, we move to the main dance floor and the girls kinda stand around awkwardly. I tease them a bit and get them to move their bodies more. The music also starts getting better so that helped. Now lies my dilemma:
- The music is kinda shitty for seduction in my opinion. Think mainstream current and 2010s pop music like Chappell Roan's Hot to go and One direction's That's what makes you beautiful.
- The girls also didn't bring a lot of energy to the dancefloor so I felt like I had to be the one to start off with high energy dancing and pass it around (I already hate dancing so this sucked)
Anyway, i try my best to dance with both girls and at some point, my girl's friend melts into the background for a bit - leaving just me and my girl. I cut the space between us and make things more seductive - she gives me the eyes that signals that she wants to kiss so I go in for a kiss and break it off a couple seconds after. We then danced a bit and I made a joke about how romantic the songs were.
(The Dj switches the song to an even more un-romantic song)
Her: Wow, this is even more romantic! (Sarcastically of course)
We both laugh
We kissed again at some point but it was also brief - I wanted to avoid any kind of ASD by kissing in front of friend though I feel like this backfired. The three of us ended up dancing with some old guy who brought a lot of energy to the dance floor. At this point, touch between my girl and i is minimal because her friend is dancing with us. There were a couple of minutes when we were side by side and I hold her waist.
This is where everything goes to shit
My girl has started to feel a bit distant now. My guess is she got bored - to be honest, looking at our interaction, there was no super high point. Maybe it's because I'm getting used to interacting with women in a flirty way but I dont think there was any point that would make me memorable in her eyes. I think I should have gone for the full on makeout to stimulate her but her roommate being there made it difficult. We leave the bar and talk to the old guy for a bit. At this point, I can tell that the chances for same night lay are slim to none because of the energy my girl was putting out. She went from being into me at the first venue to almost not wanting to make eye contact with me now. I try to move them to another spot but they make up some bullshit excuse as to why they can't go and have to leave without me so I grab my girl's phone number and wished them good night. I'll try this number in the morning but I doubt it will go anywhere. My girl told me she did have a good time and that i was sweet but it honestly felt like i was being let down easy.
Questions
- I'd love to know where things went wrong - was I not stimulating her enough in the club or not stimulating enough in the entire interaction in general.
- How do I not be boring?? I go through most of my life with a serious lens so it's sometimes hard for me to go into a fun, life of the party mode when I need to socialize and charm a girl. On the other hand, I'm also wary of doing too much to entertain women that I just become a clown who doesn't get laid. Has anyone else struggled with this?
