LR She won't text me back after sex. Lemme know what you think

[Bboy100]

Ok, so this LR is a little more detailed. Because as you can tell by the title, the girl is no longer replying to my texts.

So, I met this girl off Tinder last night. It was kind of a last minute thing. I basically asked her out at 9:30PM to meet me that night. So, I arrive to pick her up from her hotel at 11:00PM. We go to bubble tea (she's 19, so we couldn't drink).

We chat there for 1.5 hours. I find out:
- She just downloaded Tinder. This is her first Tinder date ever.
- She's in Seattle from LA for the weekend only for a dance competition.
- She was a very sweet, submissive "girl next door type of girl".
- and a bunch of other details about her life which are irrelevant to the question at hand.
- She has to go to dance at 7 AM the next day. And she's working till 9 PM.

So after about 1.5 hours of chatting, I ask her if she wants to go back to my car so we can "warm up". We walk to my car, initially, she walks to the passanger seat. I simply turn on the car, turn on the heat, and without saying anything, I walked to the backseat. She followed. Almost instantly, we start making out (we were already cuddling in the bubble tea shop because "it was cold" so its an easy transition). After a while, start feeling up her boobs. She lets me. Then, I try to take off her shirt. She stops me.

I competly back off.

Me: Is everything okay?
Her: I'm just not that kinda girl. I dunno if I gave you the wrong vibes but...
Me: It's okay. We'll only go as far as you're comfortable.

I continue making out with her. Several times throughout the makeout session, I would notice small changes in her body launguage, like she's tense or uncomfortable. So I backed off again.

Me: Is everything okay?
Her: [In a slightly hesitant tone of voice] Yeah
Me: Tell me what you're thinking
Her: Nothing...
Me: C'mon, tell me. I won't judge you.
Her: It's just...I'm not used to doing the whole makeout in the back of someone's car thing. I'm more of the "take it slow" kind of girl.
Me: Oh, okay. Well, if I do anything which makes you uncomfortable, let me know. I won't be offended by it. I pinky square promise.

We continue making out. After a while, I try to take off her shirt again. This time, she allows me to. After that, there was no resistance to escalating to sex. A few things to note about the sex:
- She was better at it than most girls. I would suspect its because she's had a lot of practice via longterm bfs, not hookups. I know this because...
- She said I had the biggest dick she's ever seen. And it really was hard to fit it in. Don't get me wrong...I'm pretty big. But most girls who hookup with a lot of dudes are usually not surprised. And it's almost never physically difficult to get it in.
- I came waaay too fast the first time. Maybe less than a minute lol. I think its cause she gave really good head and I was already "warmed up" so to speak. Also, as previously mentioned, she was really tight. Plus, she was in unbelievably good shape. So I pretty turned on haha
- After a while, I managed to kind of get it up again. But it was still kinda soft compared to usual.
- Even though she was good at it, the sex was in some ways, uncomfortable. Mainly because we were in a car.
- At the end, she started bleeding. She said it can't be her period because she just got off it. So I don't know why. I suspect she may have torn something?

We drive her back home. I kept the same energy, talked to her the same way. All around, we still had the same positive vibes and dynamic as before sex. If I made her uncomfortable in any way, it wasn't apparent via our post sex interaction.

I drop her off. I let her know that I would be down to hangout again tomorrow if she's not too tired after I get off work (I got off at 11PM. So even later than her). She agreed. So she was supposed to text me if she wanted to hang out again.

The next day via text:
Me: [2] It was good to see you last night! I hope you're making it through the work day okay [Remember, I dropped her off at like, 2 AM and she starts work at 7 AM]

She didn't reply to that. Normally, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and wait a few more days before contacting her again. But since she's leaving the next day, I figured I might as well throw a hail mary.

Me: [10] Ok, well I'll be off work in about 35 mins. If you're down to hang out again, lemme know. If you're too tired or you don't want to see me for some other reason, I wish you a safe trip home & good luck with the dance career

She didn't reply to that either. I suspect she cut contact with me for one of five reasons:

1. She doesn't see herself as "the kind of girl who has sex with guys she just met that night". As such, she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, because this creates dissonance between her perceived identity, and actual reality.
2. She didn't want to have sex with me at all. She was just too nice to say no. [Remember, she's very submissive. She's the girl version of a "nice guy"]
3. She was too busy during the day to respond, and when she got home, she was too tired to deal with me.
4. She made other plans for the night.
5. The sex was not very satisfying for her. Like I said, we were in a cramped car, and I came too fast the first time. I certainly don't think I got anywhere near making her cum.

If its #1, #3 or #4, then its nbd because it doesn't really have anything to do with my actions. Those are just unfortunate circumstances. But if its #2....well, that's a problem because it means I'm maybe still struggling to read girls. And I'm really not adding value to her life. I just used her. And if its #5, I maybe have to figure out a way to avoid car sex. Because I've had similar difficulties with it in the past.

What do you guys think?

 

[WayOfHand]

Hey BBoy

1. Seems most likely from the description
2. Could be but unlikely
3. Nope
4. Nope
5. Propably but does it even matter

PS. You didnt use her, you gave her sex with an awesome guy (not necessarily good sex but sex with cool cat)!

 

[Big Daddy]

#1 and #5 are the ones more likely in my opinion.

But it's hard for us to give an opinion because without explicit chat bits it's hard to gauge which type of girl she is.

I'd be actually curious to know why she didn't respond, it doesn't even matter since she probably already left. So I'd send another text, trying to be as warm as possible, explaining that you are confused and you'd love a brief explanation of what's up even if you never see each other again.

 

[Bastian]

It's rare for a woman to have such a shallow vagina, so it's likely that she didn't get enough foreplay (or wasn't completely relaxed). Bodily tension makes the vagina inelastic.

Bigger guys tend to be stereotyped as bad lovers and since your sex made her bleed, it's hard to be thrilled afterwards. Thankfully I'm not that huge, but once you get to a certain size, foreplay AND lube is mandatory; otherwise sex is painful rather than joyful for women.

My guess is that she genuinely liked you (and please take it as such, a guess), but was afraid of sex happening again especially if she had vaginal soreness (one of the downsides of being thick).

Some guys continue to get thicker during collage, I would keep a small bottle of lube in the car just in case foreplay isn't enough.

By the way, try the toilet paper roll test when you have time, if your dick cannot go inside the roll, you're officially within the top 5 - 10% of humans for girth/thickness. If you fail this test (meaning penis cannot go inside the roll), I can guarantee that toothy blowjobs are relatively common in your life. If you pass the test, thickness shouldn't be a problem... unless your roll is like 6.5" of girth, in that case switch to a normal roll, haha. It's illegal to make condoms that big in the USA.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Ripping her pussy up might be "painful" for her, but she'll generally think of you as the "super huge cock" guy and it hurting a bit is probably a turn on. So that's not the issue, she thinks you're hot. But with an inexperienced girl like her, I'd say this

The next day via text:
Me: [2] It was good to see you last night! I hope you're making it through the work day okay [Remember, I dropped her off at like, 2 AM and she starts work at 7 AM]

Is a bit fuckboy-ish. You don't want to do the "I hope you're not to sore from my huge cock"-esque text with an inexperienced chick. It's very in line with what she expects from a hookup. If your escalation was super quick, and you didn't build some comfort on the date beyond sex, she could have seen it as a hookup. It all fit the part.

She may be inexperienced, but she knows guys, and she probably saw this as a hookup. The only thing that stops a girl from going from "nice girl who doesn't hookup" to "girl who fucks a guy in his car after an hour and a half," is, well, it happening once.

So yes, #1, is my guess. She's assimilating her new reality and you were the, er, sacrifice? in that evolution. Don't think you mind it tho

Hector

 

[Bboy100]

Hector,

Is a bit fuckboy-ish. You don't want to do the "I hope you're not to sore from my huge cock"-esque text with an inexperienced chick.

Hmm, I certainly didn't mean it that way. One of the topics she brought up throughout the date was that work would be super hard for her the next day. Cause she starts at 7 AM, and she didn't get home from our date till 2 AM. So she got almost no sleep and had to work for 14 hours. Hence why I said "I hope you're making it through the work day okay".

I'm relatively sure she didn't interpret it as me suggesting that she's having a hard time making it through the day cause she's sore from my big dick. Although I guess that is a possibility.

But regardless,

The only thing that stops a girl from going from "nice girl who doesn't hookup" to "girl who fucks a guy in his car after an hour and a half," is, well, it happening once.

So yes, #1, is my guess. She's assimilating her new reality and you were the, er, sacrifice? in that evolution. Don't think you mind it tho

Because of this^, I think it doesn't matter what post date text I sent her, the result would have been the same. Tbh, it was an interesting experience. I've been with quite a few girls now who claimed I was their "first hookup" or "they don't usually do this". But most those girls also happened to be super insecure & validation hungry. In fact, I bet that in a lot of their cases, they actually do hook up with a at least some guys. They just wish they didn't. So they lied to me & to themselves about it. Whereas with this girl, I think it genuinely was her first time hooking up with a stranger. And, she seemed to be of high self-esteem and has a good head on her shoulders. So in a way, this was a new experience for me as well.

Edit: Come to think of it, a few yrs back, there was another case similar to this one. I hooked up with a girl who had just gotten divorced (from the only guy she's ever been with) on our first date. And she kinda ghosted on me for a while too. I managed to get her back by fixing attainability.
So I guess the takeaway here is that in general, if I hook up with an inexperienced girl and want to see her again, I should make special effort to let her know I want an ongoing relationship. And that its not just a one night thing.

Bastian,

By the way, try the toilet paper roll test when you have time, if your dick cannot go inside the roll, you're officially within the top 5 - 10% of humans for girth/thickness. If you fail this test (meaning penis cannot go inside the roll), I can guarantee that toothy blowjobs are relatively common in your life. If you pass the test, thickness shouldn't be a problem... unless your roll is like 6.5" of girth, in that case switch to a normal roll, haha. It's illegal to make condoms that big in the USA.

Interesting! I didn't know this. I'll try it out.

Big Daddy,

I'd be actually curious to know why she didn't respond, it doesn't even matter since she probably already left. So I'd send another text, trying to be as warm as possible, explaining that you are confused and you'd love a brief explanation of what's up even if you never see each other again.

I would do this if I didn't already imply that I'm not going to text her anymore. I just feel like sending another text after my last one would be super bad form on my part and might even make her uncomfortable.

 

[TrickyD]

Almost impossible to convert a ONS to something long term. Let her go.