Shedding an interesting light on "alphas"

[ThrowDown]

I came across this interesting article on the myth and idea of "Alpha male" I recommend to you gents..

Having still being in process of reading this article, there are very interesting tidbits of information that can shed some new light on certain areas of this study.

Check it out here
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/07/07/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male/

“But wait…don’t some women go for the Bad Boy? I’ve seen it happen!”

While studies show that most women find prestigious men more attractive than dominant men for both short-term affairs and long-term relationships, the research also suggests that, when given the choice, some types of women will still pick the dominant asshole over the upstanding prestigious man. Women with a “fast life” history (meaning they grew up in an insecure and unstable environment with little or no parental support), insecure attachment, and who hold hostile, sexist attitudes about their fellow females typically prefer a short-term mating strategy and engage in frequent, uncommitted sexual activity (Olderbak & Figueredo, 2010; Bohner et al, 2010; Kirkpatrick & Davis 1994). These sorts of women typically prefer the stereotypical dominant and aggressive “alpha” male to the more pro-social, prestigious male (Hall & Canterberry, 2011).

While it is possible to pick up some types of women by acting “alpha,” because of the kind of women this seduction method attracts, the flings you successfully land can become messier than you bargained for. It’s for this reason that men who go for the alpha male ideology often fall victim to a selection bias in regards to their perception of women: because the women who are attracted to them are less stable and more promiscuous, they come to believe that all women are “skanky” and “crazy.”

At the same time, when these men try their dominant pick-up techniques on more well-adjusted women, their hostility and narcissism creep the women out, and cause them to turn these guys down. This rejection makes these would-be “pick-up artists” more hostile to women, and they figure the problem is that they’re still too much of a “nice guy.” They then try to up their alpha quotient even further, which makes even more women turn away from them. And the cycle continues.

 

[ILoveElla]

Interesting to think that there's papers written on this! I think it was about time that something like this was said. Here's a what I planned on posting as a separate thread, but I'll just plant it here, as it's somewhat relevant:


"I get the impression that PUAs take the friend zone too seriously. Under what circumstances is it possible to be aquianted with a girl for quite a while without ending up in the friend zone. I heard some statistical analysis recently about a certain amount of work colleagues end up sleeping together after the night of staff parties. I thought to myself, "I'm missing out". I couldn't imagine that happening in my own work place.

Lets say you know a girl from work and you think she's hot. Well, if you're not absolutely mad about the girl, then you're not going to go out of you're way to ask her out on a date or something. That might look desperate. So in other words, you're going to end up being aquainted. Doesn't mean that you're going to become friend zoned. For all you know, she might think "I wish that cool guy noticed me". So if there was a work party 3 months later, and the opportunity arose to make a move without looking desperate, you guys would have me think I'm friend zoned.

So, to me it sort of seems like a dilemma of either look to desperate, or fear that you're friend zoned. I guess my opinion is biased as I've had a few bad experiences asking girls out lately"

 

[NarrowJ]

Really cool article. Prestigious, powerful men are high-value just as dominant, edgy men are high-value. They are simply highly valued in different ways.

Reminds me of this article a bit: Every Girl Has a Type- Are You Hers... Or Aren't You?

So yeah, some women prefer your powerful-looking, suited up guys for flings. Some girls prefer your muscular, tattooed edgy types for flings. Not surprising that the women who go after the latter would be a bit edgy themselves.

That's my take on it, anyway.

J.J.

 

[Smith]

At the same time, when these men try their dominant pick-up techniques on more well-adjusted women, their hostility and narcissism creep the women out, and cause them to turn these guys down. This rejection makes these would-be “pick-up artists” more hostile to women, and they figure the problem is that they’re still too much of a “nice guy.” They then try to up their alpha quotient even further, which makes even more women turn away from them. And the cycle continues.

Wow! I never thought about it this way. Just the other day, I was thinking whether being more 'alpha' and aggressive is the way to go... or showing more empathy and understanding women is better. I guess you need a balance of both.

"I get the impression that PUAs take the friend zone too seriously. Under what circumstances is it possible to be aquianted with a girl for quite a while without ending up in the friend zone. I heard some statistical analysis recently about a certain amount of work colleagues end up sleeping together after the night of staff parties. I thought to myself, "I'm missing out". I couldn't imagine that happening in my own work place.

Lets say you know a girl from work and you think she's hot. Well, if you're not absolutely mad about the girl, then you're not going to go out of you're way to ask her out on a date or something. That might look desperate. So in other words, you're going to end up being aquainted. Doesn't mean that you're going to become friend zoned. For all you know, she might think "I wish that cool guy noticed me". So if there was a work party 3 months later, and the opportunity arose to make a move without looking desperate, you guys would have me think I'm friend zoned.

So, to me it sort of seems like a dilemma of either look to desperate, or fear that you're friend zoned. I guess my opinion is biased as I've had a few bad experiences asking girls out lately"

The thing about guys in ''friend zone' is that they put themselves there, hoping being nice, platonic and spending a lot of time with the girl will get the girl to notice them and sleep with them.
There's another type of guy who's sexy and flirt with girls around him, but he doesn't chase them. The girls around him may consider him as a 'friend', but a 'friend' that they want to hook up with. It's different from the other 'nice guy' friends they have.
I agree that the PUA has even exaggerated the word 'friend'. If a girl call u a friend, it's not the end of the world. It depends on the situation. There's varying shades of grey.

 

[Estate]

It's not the worst advice out there by any means... but as with everything, you need to have a balanced view of things.

Like:
PickUp Artist = BAD, Friendly guy = Good!
Nice Guy = Bad, Asshole = Good!

There's those gray areas where the truth really lies.

So over the last while I've asked various questions about sticking points I've had. For sure one was that while I was getting hotter women, I also was having a harder time turning it into anything longterm. I beat myself up about it for a while. But you know... there's some truth in that article. When I say hotter... does hotter = quality? Well, it depends on your standards. "Club Hot" isn't necessarily natural beauty but it sure gets those girls attention. Though they are easier to get, I found them quite flightly, flakey, even plain rude and just having personalities that were just a turnoff, even if they could give you a boner for days.

Thinking about it though, I tried to change things up a little over the last little while. For example, the girls I had been meeting were very much about appearance and status, being seen, being known, getting attention. I thought back to old girlfriends I had. To be honest, they all had a little nerdy side, not total geeks but maybe valued other things in life over pure status. I guess I got along better with those types, girls who had friends, interests, something to talk about, could laugh at themselves.

Anyway, long story short, I've been seeing a girl the past few weeks who I met away from my "usual" spots. She's not so much a party girl but can definitely hang, she works out, has a slamming body (less partying, more workout = smoking hot bodies, esp if you're dating above 25.) She is into some cool stuff which she's been teaching me a little about. It's been a blast. Now the thing is, she doesn't look like the "blonde bombshell" PUA's here lust after... I'd say they would not rank her. But to me she's a 10. Long brunette hair, stunning facial features, dresses elegantly, absolute natural beauty.

The thing is... I could never have dated this girl without learning from this site. But the gray area is also that, if I went SUPER aggressive and alpha in chatting her up, I'd probably have lost her too.
The point is, people like to write these articles as click-bait. Everything is click-bait nowadays to try make more money from hits. The more extreme the point of view, the more hits it gets so it's better for the authors to take one side or the other... the truth lies somewhere in between. You need alpha traits to get and keep quality women. Then again, the specific woman in question will need you to tailor your approach to her liking, and being able to read this gets you ahead of the game.

It's like... remember when eggs were a "superfood", lots of protein, good for your brain, etc, etc.
Then people started publishing how BAD eggs were as a good, high cholesterol, etc, etc, etc...
But the truth? In moderation they are quite healthy.... in short supply, you'll need to find the nutrients elsewhere, in high quantities, they can be bad... same as anything in life... the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

 

[Breeze007]

Alpha’s are the ones domineering our society. Imagine if we’re all Alpha’s? That would not be good. For example, in a work place scenario, I can imagine the clashing of opinions here and there.

Even though they posses positive traits when it comes to goal and drive in life there’s also hints of vulnerability behind the Alpha’s dominating figure. Plus, we also need the Beta personalities to even it all out.

Here’re interesting studies to shed more light on the traits and ways of the Alpha male

http://www.mensaxis.com/alpha-male-traits/

http://chadhowsefitness.com/2012/11/25- ... alpha-male

and the Alpha Female: http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2012/02/ ... ale-alpha/