- Joined
- Jul 15, 2014
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- 244
My frat threw a party Friday night.
Prologue:
Decided to warm up my tongue and balls by daygaming with a buddy of mine 2 hours before the party. We wasted most of the time eating and taking a massive shit, and I pussied out on a super attractive girl twice (once in a grocery store aisle, then outside the store again with the same girl). My buddy punched me in the arm each time for being a pussy. Some shoppers saw us and thought we were weird, but whatever. Lols. So I ended up going to the party feeling a bit lame.
First two girls:
As I was walking through my frat house's little courtyard, I noticed that two girls had their eyes locked on me. When I turned my head to return the eye contact, they quickly looked away and started talking to each other. I decided to open them despite not feeling too social.
Me: Hi
Girls: (Turn toward me, smiling)
Me: What are your names?
Girls: (Names)
Me: Nice to meet you, I'm fsc. So...what are you two up to?
Girl1: Umm...just chilling...I guess
Me: Yeah? Well, would you like to come join me for a game of foosball? It'll be more entertaining than just standing here.
Girl2: I've...never played though
Girl1: It's been a while for me
Me: That's fine, we'll play you two against me
Girls: Sure
So we play. It was pretty fun. They sucked. I hugged them after the game, and we stood facing each other silently for a second. They were waiting for me to lead the conversation, but I was blank-minded. So I just walked away.
Second two girls:
I walked outside to the courtyard and sat myself on the bench, sorta-indirectly scanning the party--I occasionally looked at the front entrance as if I was waiting for someone, and whenever someone spoke loudly or something made a sound I turned my head toward the source, but I was really just scanning my field of vision in both cases. So I sat by myself like a loner for about 3 minutes, slowly swinging my feet to the music with a slight smile on my face, to look approachable. I was too socially dead to open the group of 7-8 girls to my left, but for some reason I felt like yelling out, "WHY WON'T ANYONE COME SIT AND TALK TO ME?!". I was about to, but I spotted a frat bro so I yelled out his name instead. He joined me, and while we were chatting I noticed two girls who kept checking us out and whispering to each other.
Me: HI! (overly loudly)
Girls: (Giggling, looking at us shyly) Hi
Me: Come sit with me! (patting the empty spot next to me)
Girls: (They whisper to each other then they both sit on the other side, next to my frat bro)
Me: No no no no no no no no no, you come sit here
Her: What? Me?
Me: Yeah, you
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're cute. I like sitting next to cute girls
Her: (Giggles)
Me: (I wait for a second but she says nothing) What's your name?
Her: M
Me: What?
Her: M!
Me: See? I can't even hear your name! Come here.
Her: Hahaha, no I think I'll stay here
Me: Fine, I guess we'll just be yelling over my friend and yours for the rest of the night
Her: (Laughs)
I don't remember what I said after, but the interaction was short. I invited them inside to play foosball doubles with my frat bro. He tried to sexualize things by saying "This rod is a bit stuck. I think it needs more lube", which got them giggling. It was a bit more fun than the first two girls. I gradually tried to get the girl comfortable with my touch, first by giving her a high five on her goals, then by putting my hand on her waist to swap offensive/defensive positions halfway through the game. I then gave her a hug after the match. It felt like she'd depend heavily on me to carry the conversation too, so I just walked away again. She was pretty cute, but I was tired and still not really feeling social enough to put in that much energy into a girl who didn't seem exceptionally interested in me.
Now that I think about it, maybe she was just shy and/or playing like she wasn't interested...for anti-slut defense and ego protection in case I rejected her like I just did. Fuck. Bleh.
A for effort, F for lack of ability to gauge interest levels:
I got a girl who I've been slow-gaming for the past month to come to the party. She seemed tired (she actually yawned a few times and came dressed in casual/plain clothes), but she came anyway with her sorority little...what an investment and compliance on her part. We've been exchanging texts filled with sexual innuendos for most of the 3 weeks or so, and we've also discussed her coming over to watch a movie. At the party, she and her little sat on the stairs halfway up to my room--they almost always chill on the front patio. I fucked up here because I should have just invited her up to my room. Instead, I tried to "warm them up" first and wasted too much time, because one of my frat bros who I think is also trying to get her or her little kept interrupting us. And every time that happened, I would wander off because I'm trying to be discreet with her for various reasons. So throughout the night: I'd find her alone, so I'd go talk to her, less than 5 minutes later the frat bro would come interrupt, then I'd wander off, and repeat. Next time I'll either meet up with her alone whenever we're both free, or I'll just tell her to go up to my room then I'll join her a minute or two later so that no one sees us going up together (the stairs to my room is visible to the whole courtyard). I can warm her up in my room...socially, emotionally, and physically.
Anyway, at one point during the night I saw her and her little in the main room. There was a guy standing behind them trying to chat them up or something, and I was curious what would happen, so I observed them for about a minute. I saw his mouth moving for much of the time, but they kept their backs to him. So I just picked up a ping pong ball, threw it at the girls, and reengaged them in conversation for the third damn time that night. Throughout my conversation with them, the guy interjected 3 or 4 times trying to get them to play beer pong with him. The most attention they gave him was a quick glance. Both girls kept their bodies facing me and their eyes on mine. I found his squeaky Asian voice a bit annoying and pretended like he wasn't there. During the conversation, I foresaw a good opportunity to invite them to my room, buuuuut the frat bro shows up...FUCK. So I wander off for the third time, and I hear the guy trying to chat them up again...Lols. If the guy walked off with me, I might have talked to him about finding better candidates, how he shouldn't dress like how I did back in middle school if he wanted better results, and whatnot. Eh well, hopefully he'll discover GirlsChase on his own.
Friend's friend:
So I was wandering around again when my buddy grabs me into an interaction with two girls he has been talking to. I've known one of the girls for over a year, and I assumed the other girl was one of her sorority sisters that I haven't met yet.
Him: Have you ladies met fsc? He's the coolest Asian dude
Me: Yeah, we've met already...
My buddy is sweating A LOT, so I look at him with a smiling "damn, bro" face and without saying anything, I make a slow wiping motion across my forehead with the back of my hand.
Him: (Wiping his sweat) I know bro, I just came out of the dance floor
Me: (I smile at him and turn my head to the other girl) I haven't met you yet though. What's your name?
We introduce ourselves and she immediately turns her body towards me. I don't know who gave her the information because my friend doesn't know that much about me, but she already knows a couple of stuff about me, and she asks me stuff and puts in effort to keep the conversation going. I don't remember her body, but her face gets a 9...blonde with a diamond nose stud. OMG. At one point she's subtly dancing to the music as we talk, so I point it out and she actually shows off some pretty sexy dance moves right in front of me while maintaining eye contact, twice (I compliment her after the first one, so she does it again). AWESOME. She then challenges me to a game of foosball, but our female friend needs to use the bathroom, so I lead the two girls to mine. I'm thinking I'll talk to her in the quieter hallway as our friend uses the bathroom and hopefully escalate enough to pull her into my room which is right next door to the bathroom, but both girls go in and I wait outside. After about 3-5 minutes, I decided that I was investing too much, and I would prolly look like a weird/creepy niceguy for waiting for so long, so I headed back down to the party.
I should've made sure to reengage them as they came back down to the party, but I occupied myself with another girl. I'm pretty sure they were having girl talk inside the bathroom. I'm pretty sure I could've bedded her with minimal friction. My friend also knows that my room is right next door, so she could've suggested that we all hang out in there. Fuck. Whatever.
LR-: The 6-ft tall black chick
I'm 5'7''. Lol. I wandered into the main room again, and the same buddy pulls me into another interaction.
Him: Tell them bro, how many views did our dancing video get on YouTube?
Me: I don't know, like a million something
Girls: (Seem intrigued)
My buddies: (Talking about their dancing days or something)
Me: Yeah, I wouldn't lie. Asians don't lie (in Asian accent)
Girls: (The unsure type of LOL...why are people so sensitive with anything racial? ...Or am I just racist?)
Then somehow the interaction died out, and my buddies were gone. I don't know what happened. I saw the girl I've been slow-gaming with the frat bro on the other side of the room, so I was busy trying to see if their interaction would die out. I also kept turning around to see if my friend and her friend returned from the bathroom.
Her: Wait...did you say "Asians don't lie"?
Me: No, maam, we do not. Only on tests.
Her: LOL What?!
I explain to her how we Asians gotta maintain our As, and I tell her about the Asian grading scale
Me: What's your name?
Her: NAME
Me: Wait, with a 'b' or a 'd'? (confused face, turn my ear toward her, and take a step forward)
Her: 'd'
Me: 'd'? As in dick?
Her: Yeah (her facial expression was neutral here, so I didn't think much of what might result with her)
Me: Cool. Damn, you're tall. Do you play sports? (I start poking her firm, bare stomach with my index fingers)
Her: LOL stooooop, I'm ticklish
She was pretty cute. I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but she followed when I moved her around, and we played a game of foosball for shots. I was leading her toward my room when she runs into a gay male friend of hers. They talk excitedly for a bit, and I stand around looking bored.
Him: OMG I need to use the bathroom
Me: Come use mine. We're heading there anyway.
I was thinking that having him tag along would raise her comfort levels. So off we went. Upstairs, I stood by my door, the gay guy was halfway inside the bathroom about 7 feet away, and the girl was standing between us, right in front of him.
Her: Is he gay? (Trying to whisper)
Him: (Looking at me) I don't think so
Her: Are you sure?
Him: Yeah, his eyes don't say so
Me? Gay? WHAT THE FUCK?!
Me: Are you two talking about me? (You drunk idiots, I'm right behind you)
Her: OH! No, just some other guy. (Turning back to the gay guy) Really, you think so?
Him: Yes, girl! He's straight!
So the gay guy goes inside the bathroom, and I lead her into my room for the shots.
Her: I'm already pretty drunk (no shit, Sherlock)...you take a shot
I thought, "Alright, whatever. One shot isn't gonna affect me".
Me: Want some water then?
Her: Sure. You're not rapey, are you? (Seats herself on the couch arm)
Me: These water bottles totally have been laced with roofies.
Her: (Takes the water bottle and examines it) Wait, for real?
Me: Only like 5 pills.
Her: (Silence)
Me: No, I'm kidding.
Her: Oh, you looked serious
Me: (I smile at her, take a shot of whiskey, and sit down on the couch)
Her: Take another shot
Me: Are you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?
Her: Yes, I'm trying to rape you
Me: Lol k. Here, let me help you with that (I unbuckle my belt)
Her: OMG, no, I was just kidding! I'm not gonna rape you! OMG sorry, that was a bad joke.
Me: Haha...I know you were kidding (I put my belt back on)
Her: Oh...Have you...or would you ever rape somebody?
Me: Nah, only as roleplay.
Then I nonchalantly shared with her a story about how my previous fuck buddy and I would role play where I'd fake rape her and stuff. She seemed a bit surprised, so I sorta "cushioned" it with a story about how I know rape is real bad because my friend, who I've known since 3rd grade, was raped twice and now she's a schizophrenic. Gay guy then enters the room, and I offer him a shot. The two get into a conversation about this and that and how his twin brother is straight. I interject myself and ask if she has any siblings, and I deep dive on her brother. I guess the gay guy got the message, so he excuses himself. She also received a few texts from her friends throughout the night, but they aren't cockblocking. YES, the Cockblock Curse that has plagued me for the past two parties has been lifted!
Some conversation takes place, but I don't remember. A song she likes starts playing on the dance floor, so she wants to go back down to dance.
Me: How about you put on one of your favorite songs on my computer and we'll dance here?
Her: But it's different up here
Me: How so?
Her: There are more people down there
Me: Well, up here it's just us...so it's like VIP
She chuckles and puts on a song, then she starts twerking by my desk when I ask her to show me her dance moves. I say, "Hmm...and this is where a guy would be", I place myself behind her, and she twerks her ass on my crotch. I spank her ass after a bit.
Her: Why are you hitting me?
Me: (LOL, what?) I'm not hitting you, I'm spanking you
Her: Why would you do that?
Me: Because you have a nice big ass
Her: Haha what? fsc, I thought you were a nice guy!
LOLOLOL! So I appeared to be a gay niceguy? What the fuck?!
Then she goes off about how she always gets herself into these situations. I don't really remember. I see an opportunity to semi-smoothly transition away from the topic.
Me: Haha, wait. Tell me a racist joke you know.
Her: Hmm...I don't know. You tell me one.
Me: (I tell her a racist joke)
Her: LOL, okay I got one (she tells me a racist Asian joke)
Me: LOL
Her: OMG that was probably offensive. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
Me: Haha, why are you apologizing all the time?
Her: I don't know, it was racist.
Me: Haha, you're so proper.
Her: I am not proper
LOLOL...she then goes off disqualifying herself, telling me about her sexcapades and how she's actually a ratchet and stuff
Me: Oh yeah? Have you hooked up with an Asian guy before?
Her: Yeah
Me: How about Korean?
Her: Yup
Me: So this wouldn't be new to you then
Then I start making out with her and run my hands over her stomach, pull away, then tell her she has some juicy lips.
Her: OMG...I thought you were a niceguy, fsc! (Again? WTF?)
Me: Fine, we'll just sit here and talk about the weather and shit
Her: No, I mean like...I don't know. We should get to know each other first.
Me: Sure, we'll go on 3 dates and then I'll sign a contract that permits me to kiss you.
Her: Hahaha. Food sounds good...do you drive?
Me: Yes
Her: Noted
Me: Are you trying to use me as a chauffeur?
Her: Maybe
Me: Well, you don't get to use my chauffeuring services for free...you need to take that top off.
Her: fsc!
Me: What would you do if I tried to kiss you again?
Her: I don't know
Then I begin making out with her again and play with her tits for a bit, then back off because she isn't getting into it.
Her: Why did you ask what I would do?
Me: Because I'm a niceguy, and niceguys ask.
Her: Well, I think we've established that you're not, so don't ask
Me: Cool
So I resume, and she gets into it this time, so I unbutton her shorts, but she stops me.
Her: No, we're not having sex tonight.
Me: Okay
Her: Will you be mad if we didn't?
Me: Nope. Listen, you can leave whenever you feel uncomfortable.
Her: Haha, okay.
Me: Stand up real quick
Her: Why?
Me: Just stand up real quick and face that way
She stands up in front of me, ass facing me, with her shorts still unbuttoned. I pull her shorts down.
Her: fsc! OMG! I told you no sex tonight!
Me: Oh right, 3 dates and the contract.
Some platonic conversation takes place, but I don't remember. Things get sexual again as I spontaneously make out with her again. She finally removes all of her clothes and lets me finger her. For being 6 feet tall she has a pretty tight pussy...
BUT
IT
SMELLS
Not disgustingly bad, but the smell is there. I get turned off, so I tell her we should switch. She gets on her knees to suck me off, but I get soft after a few minutes. I just can't take the fact that her pussy smells off of my mind even though I no longer smell it.
Then she wants me to eat her out...OH GOD...I don't wanna be mean so I start kissing my way down there.
THEN
I SMELL IT
AGAIN
So I stop.
Her: What's up?
...
Me: Uhh...can we do this another time?
Her: Umm...okay...
Epilogue:
We ended up eating and talking, and she slept over...aaaaand now she's being clingy already.
FUCK.
Why does life hate me?
Prologue:
Decided to warm up my tongue and balls by daygaming with a buddy of mine 2 hours before the party. We wasted most of the time eating and taking a massive shit, and I pussied out on a super attractive girl twice (once in a grocery store aisle, then outside the store again with the same girl). My buddy punched me in the arm each time for being a pussy. Some shoppers saw us and thought we were weird, but whatever. Lols. So I ended up going to the party feeling a bit lame.
First two girls:
As I was walking through my frat house's little courtyard, I noticed that two girls had their eyes locked on me. When I turned my head to return the eye contact, they quickly looked away and started talking to each other. I decided to open them despite not feeling too social.
Me: Hi
Girls: (Turn toward me, smiling)
Me: What are your names?
Girls: (Names)
Me: Nice to meet you, I'm fsc. So...what are you two up to?
Girl1: Umm...just chilling...I guess
Me: Yeah? Well, would you like to come join me for a game of foosball? It'll be more entertaining than just standing here.
Girl2: I've...never played though
Girl1: It's been a while for me
Me: That's fine, we'll play you two against me
Girls: Sure
So we play. It was pretty fun. They sucked. I hugged them after the game, and we stood facing each other silently for a second. They were waiting for me to lead the conversation, but I was blank-minded. So I just walked away.
Second two girls:
I walked outside to the courtyard and sat myself on the bench, sorta-indirectly scanning the party--I occasionally looked at the front entrance as if I was waiting for someone, and whenever someone spoke loudly or something made a sound I turned my head toward the source, but I was really just scanning my field of vision in both cases. So I sat by myself like a loner for about 3 minutes, slowly swinging my feet to the music with a slight smile on my face, to look approachable. I was too socially dead to open the group of 7-8 girls to my left, but for some reason I felt like yelling out, "WHY WON'T ANYONE COME SIT AND TALK TO ME?!". I was about to, but I spotted a frat bro so I yelled out his name instead. He joined me, and while we were chatting I noticed two girls who kept checking us out and whispering to each other.
Me: HI! (overly loudly)
Girls: (Giggling, looking at us shyly) Hi
Me: Come sit with me! (patting the empty spot next to me)
Girls: (They whisper to each other then they both sit on the other side, next to my frat bro)
Me: No no no no no no no no no, you come sit here
Her: What? Me?
Me: Yeah, you
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're cute. I like sitting next to cute girls
Her: (Giggles)
Me: (I wait for a second but she says nothing) What's your name?
Her: M
Me: What?
Her: M!
Me: See? I can't even hear your name! Come here.
Her: Hahaha, no I think I'll stay here
Me: Fine, I guess we'll just be yelling over my friend and yours for the rest of the night
Her: (Laughs)
I don't remember what I said after, but the interaction was short. I invited them inside to play foosball doubles with my frat bro. He tried to sexualize things by saying "This rod is a bit stuck. I think it needs more lube", which got them giggling. It was a bit more fun than the first two girls. I gradually tried to get the girl comfortable with my touch, first by giving her a high five on her goals, then by putting my hand on her waist to swap offensive/defensive positions halfway through the game. I then gave her a hug after the match. It felt like she'd depend heavily on me to carry the conversation too, so I just walked away again. She was pretty cute, but I was tired and still not really feeling social enough to put in that much energy into a girl who didn't seem exceptionally interested in me.
Now that I think about it, maybe she was just shy and/or playing like she wasn't interested...for anti-slut defense and ego protection in case I rejected her like I just did. Fuck. Bleh.
A for effort, F for lack of ability to gauge interest levels:
I got a girl who I've been slow-gaming for the past month to come to the party. She seemed tired (she actually yawned a few times and came dressed in casual/plain clothes), but she came anyway with her sorority little...what an investment and compliance on her part. We've been exchanging texts filled with sexual innuendos for most of the 3 weeks or so, and we've also discussed her coming over to watch a movie. At the party, she and her little sat on the stairs halfway up to my room--they almost always chill on the front patio. I fucked up here because I should have just invited her up to my room. Instead, I tried to "warm them up" first and wasted too much time, because one of my frat bros who I think is also trying to get her or her little kept interrupting us. And every time that happened, I would wander off because I'm trying to be discreet with her for various reasons. So throughout the night: I'd find her alone, so I'd go talk to her, less than 5 minutes later the frat bro would come interrupt, then I'd wander off, and repeat. Next time I'll either meet up with her alone whenever we're both free, or I'll just tell her to go up to my room then I'll join her a minute or two later so that no one sees us going up together (the stairs to my room is visible to the whole courtyard). I can warm her up in my room...socially, emotionally, and physically.
Anyway, at one point during the night I saw her and her little in the main room. There was a guy standing behind them trying to chat them up or something, and I was curious what would happen, so I observed them for about a minute. I saw his mouth moving for much of the time, but they kept their backs to him. So I just picked up a ping pong ball, threw it at the girls, and reengaged them in conversation for the third damn time that night. Throughout my conversation with them, the guy interjected 3 or 4 times trying to get them to play beer pong with him. The most attention they gave him was a quick glance. Both girls kept their bodies facing me and their eyes on mine. I found his squeaky Asian voice a bit annoying and pretended like he wasn't there. During the conversation, I foresaw a good opportunity to invite them to my room, buuuuut the frat bro shows up...FUCK. So I wander off for the third time, and I hear the guy trying to chat them up again...Lols. If the guy walked off with me, I might have talked to him about finding better candidates, how he shouldn't dress like how I did back in middle school if he wanted better results, and whatnot. Eh well, hopefully he'll discover GirlsChase on his own.
Friend's friend:
So I was wandering around again when my buddy grabs me into an interaction with two girls he has been talking to. I've known one of the girls for over a year, and I assumed the other girl was one of her sorority sisters that I haven't met yet.
Him: Have you ladies met fsc? He's the coolest Asian dude
Me: Yeah, we've met already...
My buddy is sweating A LOT, so I look at him with a smiling "damn, bro" face and without saying anything, I make a slow wiping motion across my forehead with the back of my hand.
Him: (Wiping his sweat) I know bro, I just came out of the dance floor
Me: (I smile at him and turn my head to the other girl) I haven't met you yet though. What's your name?
We introduce ourselves and she immediately turns her body towards me. I don't know who gave her the information because my friend doesn't know that much about me, but she already knows a couple of stuff about me, and she asks me stuff and puts in effort to keep the conversation going. I don't remember her body, but her face gets a 9...blonde with a diamond nose stud. OMG. At one point she's subtly dancing to the music as we talk, so I point it out and she actually shows off some pretty sexy dance moves right in front of me while maintaining eye contact, twice (I compliment her after the first one, so she does it again). AWESOME. She then challenges me to a game of foosball, but our female friend needs to use the bathroom, so I lead the two girls to mine. I'm thinking I'll talk to her in the quieter hallway as our friend uses the bathroom and hopefully escalate enough to pull her into my room which is right next door to the bathroom, but both girls go in and I wait outside. After about 3-5 minutes, I decided that I was investing too much, and I would prolly look like a weird/creepy niceguy for waiting for so long, so I headed back down to the party.
I should've made sure to reengage them as they came back down to the party, but I occupied myself with another girl. I'm pretty sure they were having girl talk inside the bathroom. I'm pretty sure I could've bedded her with minimal friction. My friend also knows that my room is right next door, so she could've suggested that we all hang out in there. Fuck. Whatever.
LR-: The 6-ft tall black chick
I'm 5'7''. Lol. I wandered into the main room again, and the same buddy pulls me into another interaction.
Him: Tell them bro, how many views did our dancing video get on YouTube?
Me: I don't know, like a million something
Girls: (Seem intrigued)
My buddies: (Talking about their dancing days or something)
Me: Yeah, I wouldn't lie. Asians don't lie (in Asian accent)
Girls: (The unsure type of LOL...why are people so sensitive with anything racial? ...Or am I just racist?)
Then somehow the interaction died out, and my buddies were gone. I don't know what happened. I saw the girl I've been slow-gaming with the frat bro on the other side of the room, so I was busy trying to see if their interaction would die out. I also kept turning around to see if my friend and her friend returned from the bathroom.
Her: Wait...did you say "Asians don't lie"?
Me: No, maam, we do not. Only on tests.
Her: LOL What?!
I explain to her how we Asians gotta maintain our As, and I tell her about the Asian grading scale
Me: What's your name?
Her: NAME
Me: Wait, with a 'b' or a 'd'? (confused face, turn my ear toward her, and take a step forward)
Her: 'd'
Me: 'd'? As in dick?
Her: Yeah (her facial expression was neutral here, so I didn't think much of what might result with her)
Me: Cool. Damn, you're tall. Do you play sports? (I start poking her firm, bare stomach with my index fingers)
Her: LOL stooooop, I'm ticklish
She was pretty cute. I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but she followed when I moved her around, and we played a game of foosball for shots. I was leading her toward my room when she runs into a gay male friend of hers. They talk excitedly for a bit, and I stand around looking bored.
Him: OMG I need to use the bathroom
Me: Come use mine. We're heading there anyway.
I was thinking that having him tag along would raise her comfort levels. So off we went. Upstairs, I stood by my door, the gay guy was halfway inside the bathroom about 7 feet away, and the girl was standing between us, right in front of him.
Her: Is he gay? (Trying to whisper)
Him: (Looking at me) I don't think so
Her: Are you sure?
Him: Yeah, his eyes don't say so
Me? Gay? WHAT THE FUCK?!
Me: Are you two talking about me? (You drunk idiots, I'm right behind you)
Her: OH! No, just some other guy. (Turning back to the gay guy) Really, you think so?
Him: Yes, girl! He's straight!
So the gay guy goes inside the bathroom, and I lead her into my room for the shots.
Her: I'm already pretty drunk (no shit, Sherlock)...you take a shot
I thought, "Alright, whatever. One shot isn't gonna affect me".
Me: Want some water then?
Her: Sure. You're not rapey, are you? (Seats herself on the couch arm)
Me: These water bottles totally have been laced with roofies.
Her: (Takes the water bottle and examines it) Wait, for real?
Me: Only like 5 pills.
Her: (Silence)
Me: No, I'm kidding.
Her: Oh, you looked serious
Me: (I smile at her, take a shot of whiskey, and sit down on the couch)
Her: Take another shot
Me: Are you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?
Her: Yes, I'm trying to rape you
Me: Lol k. Here, let me help you with that (I unbuckle my belt)
Her: OMG, no, I was just kidding! I'm not gonna rape you! OMG sorry, that was a bad joke.
Me: Haha...I know you were kidding (I put my belt back on)
Her: Oh...Have you...or would you ever rape somebody?
Me: Nah, only as roleplay.
Then I nonchalantly shared with her a story about how my previous fuck buddy and I would role play where I'd fake rape her and stuff. She seemed a bit surprised, so I sorta "cushioned" it with a story about how I know rape is real bad because my friend, who I've known since 3rd grade, was raped twice and now she's a schizophrenic. Gay guy then enters the room, and I offer him a shot. The two get into a conversation about this and that and how his twin brother is straight. I interject myself and ask if she has any siblings, and I deep dive on her brother. I guess the gay guy got the message, so he excuses himself. She also received a few texts from her friends throughout the night, but they aren't cockblocking. YES, the Cockblock Curse that has plagued me for the past two parties has been lifted!
Some conversation takes place, but I don't remember. A song she likes starts playing on the dance floor, so she wants to go back down to dance.
Me: How about you put on one of your favorite songs on my computer and we'll dance here?
Her: But it's different up here
Me: How so?
Her: There are more people down there
Me: Well, up here it's just us...so it's like VIP
She chuckles and puts on a song, then she starts twerking by my desk when I ask her to show me her dance moves. I say, "Hmm...and this is where a guy would be", I place myself behind her, and she twerks her ass on my crotch. I spank her ass after a bit.
Her: Why are you hitting me?
Me: (LOL, what?) I'm not hitting you, I'm spanking you
Her: Why would you do that?
Me: Because you have a nice big ass
Her: Haha what? fsc, I thought you were a nice guy!
LOLOLOL! So I appeared to be a gay niceguy? What the fuck?!
Then she goes off about how she always gets herself into these situations. I don't really remember. I see an opportunity to semi-smoothly transition away from the topic.
Me: Haha, wait. Tell me a racist joke you know.
Her: Hmm...I don't know. You tell me one.
Me: (I tell her a racist joke)
Her: LOL, okay I got one (she tells me a racist Asian joke)
Me: LOL
Her: OMG that was probably offensive. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
Me: Haha, why are you apologizing all the time?
Her: I don't know, it was racist.
Me: Haha, you're so proper.
Her: I am not proper
LOLOL...she then goes off disqualifying herself, telling me about her sexcapades and how she's actually a ratchet and stuff
Me: Oh yeah? Have you hooked up with an Asian guy before?
Her: Yeah
Me: How about Korean?
Her: Yup
Me: So this wouldn't be new to you then
Then I start making out with her and run my hands over her stomach, pull away, then tell her she has some juicy lips.
Her: OMG...I thought you were a niceguy, fsc! (Again? WTF?)
Me: Fine, we'll just sit here and talk about the weather and shit
Her: No, I mean like...I don't know. We should get to know each other first.
Me: Sure, we'll go on 3 dates and then I'll sign a contract that permits me to kiss you.
Her: Hahaha. Food sounds good...do you drive?
Me: Yes
Her: Noted
Me: Are you trying to use me as a chauffeur?
Her: Maybe
Me: Well, you don't get to use my chauffeuring services for free...you need to take that top off.
Her: fsc!
Me: What would you do if I tried to kiss you again?
Her: I don't know
Then I begin making out with her again and play with her tits for a bit, then back off because she isn't getting into it.
Her: Why did you ask what I would do?
Me: Because I'm a niceguy, and niceguys ask.
Her: Well, I think we've established that you're not, so don't ask
Me: Cool
So I resume, and she gets into it this time, so I unbutton her shorts, but she stops me.
Her: No, we're not having sex tonight.
Me: Okay
Her: Will you be mad if we didn't?
Me: Nope. Listen, you can leave whenever you feel uncomfortable.
Her: Haha, okay.
Me: Stand up real quick
Her: Why?
Me: Just stand up real quick and face that way
She stands up in front of me, ass facing me, with her shorts still unbuttoned. I pull her shorts down.
Her: fsc! OMG! I told you no sex tonight!
Me: Oh right, 3 dates and the contract.
Some platonic conversation takes place, but I don't remember. Things get sexual again as I spontaneously make out with her again. She finally removes all of her clothes and lets me finger her. For being 6 feet tall she has a pretty tight pussy...
BUT
IT
SMELLS
Not disgustingly bad, but the smell is there. I get turned off, so I tell her we should switch. She gets on her knees to suck me off, but I get soft after a few minutes. I just can't take the fact that her pussy smells off of my mind even though I no longer smell it.
Then she wants me to eat her out...OH GOD...I don't wanna be mean so I start kissing my way down there.
THEN
I SMELL IT
AGAIN
So I stop.
Her: What's up?
...
Me: Uhh...can we do this another time?
Her: Umm...okay...
Epilogue:
We ended up eating and talking, and she slept over...aaaaand now she's being clingy already.
FUCK.
Why does life hate me?
