FR++ She's tired????

[Byron]

Ok so, if any of my recent reports have shown, despite me laying other girls, I kinda have a thing for a girl I've called Daisy...

Last night, directly after the last LR I posted, I went over to hers. I played the whole aloof schtick for a bit, but we ended up deep-diving and getting to know each other very well. It culminated in us watching a movie in her bed, with her in underwear. I tried to kiss her and she just looked at me and shook her head. I thought it was because I smelled like sex (or had just had sex, which she knew about).

We had been texting a bit since. She played it off as just using me to pass the time, I teased her about being bitchy and using me, etc. It wasn't a long exchange, maybe five texts in the past day. I text her at about 10pm saying

I'm bored,whatcha doing?

She doesn't reply for a few hours and I'm back in my room by midnight catching up on coursework. Then she texts:

Hey, I was out, I'm back now

ok...

I wait a bit then say:

I'm watching a movie in my room if you want to come up. If not, have a good night

Cause I'm all casual and don't really care, right...?

She asks which one. I tell her Vicky Cristina Barcelona, cause I happen to have that downloaded on my computer. I then start watching it. She gets lost finding my room (seriously it's only one floor up come onnnn).

Then she arrives. Not knocking she just blasts in. I'm a bit worried about the content of the movie, as she already thinks I'm a player-type, but she already knows and loves it, moreso even than me.

Excellent

She then tells me:

Ok but I'm here to watch this, I actually want to watch the whole movie, ok?

Like, what? You thought we might be doing something else whilst in my bed? Naughty girl...huh.
I'm both confused by this and somewhat assured that hey, at least she's thought about it.

She crawls under the covers. It's a very narrow single bed. I get the lights, and crawl in with her. We awkwardly lay next to each other for about twenty minutes, just watching.

Fun fun. I'm sitting there with this girl who's already assured me we aren't hooking up (on a previous night out, I wrote about it in another FR). And I'm thinking, hey this girl is already in my bed. What do I do?
Also, I did and do want to be friends with her, even if nothing happens. She's a very popular club queen type girl (very socially skilled, surrounded by guys who'll do anything for her, secretly loves solitude and being alone, etc). So my social skills could be upped dramatically by befriending her, as could my social status.

So that's going through my head as well, I don't want to fuck that up. But not doing anything, that's just kinda sad. This will require finesse then. Hm.

I take a comment on her as to how uncomfortable the bed is, as a chance to move her closer and wrap my arm around her. Now when we talk, she has to look at me when my face (and lips) are less than three inches away. My arm is around her and draped down her back and she is snuggled into me whilst I face the computer (and thus am laying straight on my back). I also start rubbing her back, under her shirt, very very lightly.

So, to break that down:
1. My body language is such that she is facing me, laying on me, whilst I'm not really turned towards her significantly. Body-language wise, she is more invested in me than I am in her.

2. Every time we talk, we are in a position where we could kiss. We both constantly look at each other's mouths. I'm a bit too much of a bitch to do anything about it (I know, fuck me, right).

3. Whilst rubbing her back (right above her ass) I notice her breathing hitches a bit, but she doesn't move away at all. That means she likes the physical contact.

So we carry on like that for a while. We laugh and joke about stuff whilst still watching the movie. Most of the conversation is light (i.e. not deep-diving really). She is British and I am not, and she mocks me for being uncultured. I make some weird comments and she calls me ridiculous (whilst smiling widely at me, from a very close position). I call her glasses (which I hadn't seen her in before she came in tonight) cute. I am trying the whole, get her to kiss me thing, that PrettyDecent does, because I figure then it's her initiative whilst me remaining to be sexy.

Then suddenly, she pauses the movie. I look at her confused. She moves her mouth towards mine, and I take the initiative finally and deeply kiss her. In between kisses, she says:

Hey, I really have to go in like three minutes.

Um...what?

I dismiss it as her teasing me, cause she gives me shit tests a lot. I ignore it and carry on. She takes off my shirt, I take off hers, and she removes her bra. We continue to make out, I pick her up and pin her against the wall. Then, she is in my lap, and we are still just kissing (with my hands on her ass) and dry-humping (with pants on) when she stops and says.

Ok I should go

I lay back so she is straddling me, thus not pinning her down in any way (so she can leave if she is serious). We continue to kiss, but then she gets up and starts putting her shirt back on. I am confused, as I know she has slept with people before (although not at college in these first few weeks yet, apparently).
She smirks as she leaves, saying:

Have a good night dude!

Lol ok bye then

So yeah. That ended all of a half-hour ago. She could be slow-gaming me (which is fine, I've got other girls, but would still like something with her). She could just have gotten me out of her system. She could be fucking with me. She could be genuinely confused as to what she wants, or have felt like she owed me something for coming over. I'm not really sure. I'll text her tomorrow afternoon and say something like haha you're a confusing girl or something that hints at it.

Key takeaways:

1. LMR is a bitch. Never really had problems with it until now. It sucks mannn

2. Always Assume Attraction. AAA. Never forget. I was a little bit too inactive, because she had stopped me before, but hey, turns out she's ok with at least kissing me after all.

3. Body language is king. Most of the shit I say is stupid, doesn't make sense, or is fluff (except for deep-diving, which is actually very very crucial). But reading body language, facial expressions, and getting people to invest in you with their body language, is something I'm becoming more and more aware of (to a surprising level too, if I had been told all this a year ago I wouldn't have believed that it mattered).

Ok well guys, I'm gonna go nurse my blue balls. I'd appreciate any advice on where I fucked this one up, It got very very close, and usually when I'm making out with a topless girl, it's a sealed deal.

I'm heading out tomorrow night for a night on the club/bar/wherever I end up (believe it or not, tonight was my night in/night of rest). Tomorrow morning I have class with the girl from the last LR, tomorrow afternoon, class with both that girl and Daisy. Should be interesting. Hopefully I'll have another report up soon (because that will mean that there's something to report). Love yall

Byron

 

[foggy]

You moved too slow. As soon as you noticed her positive body language you should have started escalating quickly.

Ok but I'm here to watch this, I actually want to watch the whole movie, ok?

She said that so she has plausible deniability, which means she doesn't have to take responsibility if you fuck her. If her friends ask, she can just say "Well we were supposed to watch a movie but he made a move and we ended up fucking!" Read Nova's reply in this thread about plausible deniability, he explains it well: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4005

You mentioned she paused the movie. That is bad! She had to start leading the interaction because you were moving too slow. She wanted you to take the hint (which you did).

You got it right, always assume attraction...

 

[Byron]

You're right. I fucked up several key parts with this girl, and got a little too thirsty. I was over-invested as well, and got too nice. She gave me the lets just be friends talk yesterday. I should have moved a lot faster, held frame and dominance more, and stayed more congruent to the chill aloof style I've been using.

FUCK

oh well. Next.

Thanks for the feedback man, much appreciated
Byron

 

[Byron]

FUCK. FUck

same thing just happened. I'll write an FR on it when I have a spare minute. But, basically, was walking a girl back to her room when she essentially decided she'd heard too many things about me (and I was too wishy-washy about it) and whilst making out she was like ok see you tomorrow. Oh also, Daisy from the FR is telling everyone we slept together. WTF

This whole thing is giving me a headache. I'll write tonights (FR+ I guess) report tomorrow. Fuckjdfsoiahfuiads;f]osdjahf


Peace and love
Byron

 

[Inbocca]

So she gives you mad LMR but tells the world you slept together. Maybe she's upset you didn't try harder to convince her to stay?

Sorry to hear about that anyway. Hector had a podcast a while back that talks about how reputation can change with time, you'll probably be good in a minute. Hope everything works out with this Daisy though. I'd like to see you close out the whole group, hahah. Cheers!

 

[Bboy100]

For you to understand what happened here, you have to understand the nature of your interaction with her:

I played the whole aloof schtick for a bit

Fun fun. I'm sitting there with this girl who's already assured me we aren't hooking up (on a previous night out, I wrote about it in another FR). And I'm thinking, hey this girl is already in my bed. What do I do?
Also, I did and do want to be friends with her, even if nothing happens. She's a very popular club queen type girl (very socially skilled, surrounded by guys who'll do anything for her, secretly loves solitude and being alone, etc). So my social skills could be upped dramatically by befriending her, as could my social status.

I'm watching a movie in my room if you want to come up. If not, have a good night


Cause I'm all casual and don't really care, right...?

She is British and I am not, and she mocks me for being uncultured. I make some weird comments and she calls me ridiculous (whilst smiling widely at me, from a very close position).

...and probably a lot more you didn't mention.

Understand that her personality type is such that she likes validation from men. She'll flirt with them, make out with them, even go to bed with them without actually fucking them. Its all a form of validation and fun to her. This goes 10x for your particular relationship with her. I notice that all of your flirting is "combative". Yes, on the surface, it does look playful and fun. But the subtext of it is isn't playful at all. In fact, its quite toxic. You're basically both saying "I want to one up you or feel socially more powerful than you". That's why you're acting aloof with her all the time and saying things "come watch a movie or have a good night". You're trying to give off the image that you don't give a fuck about her even though you clearly do. To some extent, she's probably just mirroring your behavior. Cause just like you're afraid of showing that you actually like her, she's afraid that if she takes off her social mask of "miss hot girl who no guy can get", you'll crush her. So when you put all this together, what she did makes perfect sense. I'd be willing to bet that she had no intention of hooking up with you at all. She was just trying to get you all hot and bothered because that's how she'll come to feel like she's "won you over". The other possibility is that because of this "combative" interaction you guys have, she got cold feet at the last moment because having sex with you was risking too much. It boils down to a lack of trust. Cause neither of you have shown your true selves to one another.

Having said that, her personality type is also such that what she wants changes inexplicably all the time. So its very possible that she'll eventually want to fuck you (don't count on it though).

In general, I'd recommend dropping the whole "being aloof/acting like you don't give a fuck" game. And instead, just be genuine. Show your interest to girls who you're into. If they don't reciprocate, move on. Ironically enough, this is what a guy who actually doesn't give a fuck does. Cause you can't how your cards and be vulnerable with a girl if you care about the outcome. Instead, you'll resort to either being a bitch "nice guy" or to playing games and pretending you don't care (which is what you do). Neither one is constructive. I guarantee you that if you show genuine interest without being needy or whiny, you'll get more and higher quality girls attracted to you. Also, the whole process will become a lot easier and more fun than ever before.

 

[Bboy100]

For you to understand what happened here, you have to understand the nature of your interaction with her:

I played the whole aloof schtick for a bit

Fun fun. I'm sitting there with this girl who's already assured me we aren't hooking up (on a previous night out, I wrote about it in another FR). And I'm thinking, hey this girl is already in my bed. What do I do?
Also, I did and do want to be friends with her, even if nothing happens. She's a very popular club queen type girl (very socially skilled, surrounded by guys who'll do anything for her, secretly loves solitude and being alone, etc). So my social skills could be upped dramatically by befriending her, as could my social status.

I'm watching a movie in my room if you want to come up. If not, have a good night


Cause I'm all casual and don't really care, right...?

She is British and I am not, and she mocks me for being uncultured. I make some weird comments and she calls me ridiculous (whilst smiling widely at me, from a very close position).

...and probably a lot more you didn't mention.

Understand that her personality type is such that she likes validation from men. She'll flirt with them, make out with them, even go to bed with them without actually fucking them. Its all a form of validation and fun to her. This goes 10x for your particular relationship with her. I notice that all of your flirting is "combative". Yes, on the surface, it does look playful and fun. But the subtext of it is isn't playful at all. In fact, its quite toxic. You're basically both saying "I want to one up you or feel socially more powerful than you". That's why you're acting aloof with her all the time and saying things "come watch a movie or have a good night". You're trying to give off the image that you don't give a fuck about her even though you clearly do. To some extent, she's probably just mirroring your behavior. Cause just like you're afraid of showing that you actually like her, she's afraid that if she takes off her social mask of "miss hot girl who no guy can get", you'll crush her. So when you put all this together, what she did makes perfect sense. I'd be willing to bet that she had no intention of hooking up with you at all. She was just trying to get you all hot and bothered because that's how she'll come to feel like she's "won you over". The other possibility is that because of this "combative" interaction you guys have, she got cold feet at the last moment because having sex with you was risking too much. It boils down to a lack of trust. Cause neither of you have shown your true selves to one another.

Having said that, her personality type is also such that what she wants changes inexplicably all the time. So its very possible that she'll eventually want to fuck you (don't count on it though).

In general, I'd recommend dropping the whole "being aloof/acting like you don't give a fuck" game. And instead, just be genuine. Show your interest to girls who you're into. If they don't reciprocate, move on. Ironically enough, this is what a guy who actually doesn't give a fuck does. Cause you can't how your cards and be vulnerable with a girl if you care about the outcome. Instead, you'll resort to either being a bitch "nice guy" or to playing games and pretending you don't care (which is what you do). Neither one is constructive. I guarantee you that if you show genuine interest without being needy or whiny, you'll get more and higher quality girls attracted to you. Also, the whole process will become a lot easier and more fun than ever before.

 

[Byron]

Hey yeah. I completely agree.

I had a nervous breakdown about a week ago. I'm naturally pretty high-energy, was just in a very aloof/nervous about being in college as a freshman mindset.
I called Hector and talked about it for a long time. I'm switching to a more BMOC but also just doing whatever the fuck I want style, just trying stuff out and being polarizing, but also completely honest with whatever I'm feeling in the moment. And yeah I definitely pretend I don't care at times, but yeah no I've dropped it in the last week.

I've ended up making out with a lot of Daisy's friends recently and tbh have kinda NEXTed her. Oh well.