FR Shit Tested

[AsianPersuasion]

The actual conversation involving the shit testing is italicized below. The following is re-telling of the events that led up to me approaching girls I would not have normally approached, who then gave me my first taste of shit testing.

I was out with my a friend after some roller hockey... We went to dairy queen afterwards where I spotted a black girl with red hair, but she appeared to be with another guy... So naturally, when the group she seemed to be with sat down, I asked one of them if the guy she was with was her boyfriend... They said no, but by then, she had already left. Despite the fact that they looked young, my wing tried to goad me into hitting on them... When I said no, he called me a coward for not doing it, which I actually hate being called beyond anything else. (My fault for giving in though... Next time he does that, I'll call him out for yelling from the sidelines and never actually going out to do it himself.)

So a bit hot-headed, I asked first how old they were to validate my guess that they were too young.

Her: "Who wants to know?"
Me: "He does." Pointing at my friend, who immediately ran outside to his car.
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Because he wants me to mack on you. I said you were too young, and I want to know if I was right."
Her: "Yeah, I am young."
Me: "Thank you. I gotta go now."

When I got out, he refused to open the car on the grounds that I embarrassed him in public, and drove off without letting me in. I called him again a few minutes later, and he said he was kidding and came back to pick me up. When I got in, he said I had to hit on a random girl in order as payback for the embarrassment... In hindsight, my pride was blinding me, but I also saw the idea of hitting on a random girl as a piece of cake, seeing as though I had already hit on 5 that day and got one number close.

We went to a caribou coffee. Rules were that I had to hit on someone within the five minute time span. There were two not particularly attractive girls outside the shop, and if I could not find any more suitable people to talk to, I was to approach them.

As the five minutes passed, my friend kept commenting that I better think of what to say, to which I responded that thinking had nothing to do with it. In the end, no other girls had walked in, and so the two girls outside became the two that I would hit on as payback for embarrassing my friend. This is where the shit-testing began. It's never happened to me before, and so I had this slight smirk the whole way through because it was a new and entertaining experience.

Me: "Hi, um... Would it be okay if a stranger gave another stranger a sincere compliment?"
Her: "Um... Sure! Go for it!"
Me: "Alright then, give me a compliment "
Her: "Haha, what??? You're asking me for a compliment?"
Me: "That's right."
Her: "So you're walking up to me and then putting me on the spot?"
Me: "Sounds about right to me."
Her: "Haha, well... You're very bold for walking up to me. I like that because I'm bold too!"
Me: "Haha, thank you!"
Her: *looking at my friend* "Is he filming this?" (Dumbass had his phone up and pointed at us)
Friend: "Me? No!" *turns away*
Me: "I don't think so... He's just texting. So uh.. What are you two up to today?"
Her: "Oh, you know, drinking coffee.. Gabbing haha!"
Me: "Mind if I gab with you?"
Her: "Sure!" *I sit down* "Oh, you're sitting down now!"
Me: "Well yeah, of course!"
Her: "Do you do this often?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Her: "This! Walking up to random girls and hitting on them... You know, there's no alcohol to lower your inhibitions for this. Do you do this often?"
Me: "If by that you mean socializing, then yes, I do socialize often. I'm social person."
Her: "Ohhh, you're a social person! How old are you? Did you just graduate?"
Me: "Yeah, why?"
Her: "Awww, that's so cute! And here you are picking up girls at the coffee shop! What other pick up lines do you have?"
Me: "I'm sorry?"
Her: "Like this. Fishing for compliments from random strangers. What else do you use?"
Me: "I'm not sure what you mean."
Her: "So you just walk up to random strangers and start conversations."
Me: "I think we've been over this."
Her: "Do you start conversations with guys too?"
Me: "Yeah, if the guy has nice sunglasses, I'll probably comment-"
Her: "Oh, so you compliment the guy, but for me, you make me give you one."
Me: "Isn't it a little early to be trying to bust my balls?"
Her: "No. You sat down, so I get to bust your balls. I don't think you even answered my question."
Me: "Which one?" *both of them give me different questions* "Okay, I'm not gonna be able to answer anything if you both talk at once. Question one. Let's start with question one."

I don't remember she asked, but soon her phone rang, and when she started talking, I talked to her friend for a bit, but her friend seemed pretty hostile, so the conversation was mostly dead until the other girl hung up the phone.

Me: "So anyway, are you finished busting my balls yet?"
Her: "Actually yes. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to kick you out considering I haven't talked to my friend in forever."
Me: "Alright. Before I go though, I was wondering if I could have your number?" (I was more into argumentation mode than flirtation at this point, and it wasn't about me getting her number. This was more about me not willing to back down to their shit testing... Pride's a tough pill to swallow.)
Her: "No, sorry. You're a bit young for us, and you've got a lot to learn."
Me: "Alright cool. See ya!"

Like I said before, the more attractive a girl is, the better she reacts to the approach. Girls that you settle for have a wrath. Oh well, I do enjoy a heated exchange every once and a while Despite the crap they threw at me, I actually felt good and went on to approach one more girl before we went home.

But anyway, how did I handle the shit-testing? What did I do well, and what could I improve on next time I get shit-tested like this?"

Thanks in advance for any input!

 

[milfhuntah]

I am not sure what the tone is in this conversation, but if you said that you were in "argumentation mode", then that's where you "lost it". Also, tell your friend not to point phone at girls lol..

Her: "This! Walking up to random girls and hitting on them... You know, there's no alcohol to lower your inhibitions for this. Do you do this often?"
Me: "If by that you mean socializing, then yes, I do socialize often. I'm social person."
Her: "Ohhh, you're a social person! How old are you? Did you just graduate?"
Me: "Yeah, why?"
Her: "Awww, that's so cute! And here you are picking up girls at the coffee shop! What other pick up lines do you have?"
Me: "I'm sorry?"

This is the point where things seem to go south. Basically, don't try to answer shittests with logic/justification, keep it playful and fun. Now, this is kind of "common" scenario, this is what I would've done:

Her: "Sure!" *I sit down* "Oh, you're sitting down now!"
Me: "Well yeah, of course!"
Her: "Do you do this often?"
Me:"I do sit down often indeed. *maybe facial expression to tell that you understand what she meant*"

or

Her: "This! Walking up to random girls and hitting on them... You know, there's no alcohol to lower your inhibitions for this. Do you do this often?"
Me: "Oh noo.. only with the most prettiest girls I see and that has happened only once, right now. (slight cheeky smile to let her know that is bullshit and avoiding the answer) "

btw,

Her: "Ohhh, you're a social person! How old are you? Did you just graduate?"

This question can be read as: If you just graduated, you can pretty much fuck off. Now; you can say shit like:
Do I really look so young/What would you guess? You probably want to throw a reasonable "fake-age" to keep her satisfied and just move on. For me, age is just a number and doesn't matter anything. In fact, if I keep doing what I do, I might forget my age(as I don't celebrate bdays ;p). Grow a facial hair perhaps and add +5 years to your age. I can personally get away with +5 years and I don't have facial hair even.

Her: "Awww, that's so cute! And here you are picking up girls at the coffee shop! What other pick up lines do you have?"
Me: "I'm sorry, I forget my 300-page pick up lines book home, but maybe you want to come to my place if you're interested in pick-up lines.(might not want to add the last part, but might as well experiment)"

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Thanks milfhuntah (love the name haha)

I'll keep all of this in mind. Looks like I need to learn to push their shit tests playfully to the side instead of treating it like a debate. I'll make sure to keep this in mind.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Okay so two things here AP, whats up by the way pimp! ;0

1. Way too permission seeking which makes you look weak and gives them power as evidenced here:

Me: "Hi, um... Would it be okay if a stranger gave another stranger a sincere compliment?"

and here:

Me: "Mind if I gab with you?"

Though something tells me your probably already knew this. I know it's hard sometimes when your a bit nervous and can't think of anything to say and how you feel is projected through your vocabulary but just something to keep in mind.

2. Their frame control=gangster > your frame control=shit. I'd actually go back over and read the dialogue again to learn something about their frame control and how they kept the strong frame until you left which subconsciously makes you come off as a wuss in their eyes. No biggie though I still struggle with frame control. I'm not for sure on this and maybe a higher up could correct me if I'm wrong, but it's seems inherent that if you want to do well with shit tests you want to have solid frame control.

That's all I really have for you AP, nice to have you back on the boards from time to time again.

-Rob

 

[PrettyDecent]

I thought your banter was hilarious, actually, AP. You have a subtle wittiness.

But yeah, if banter goes on too long, it turns combative. You want just a few lines and then move on to building a connection. But, eh, not really the kind of chicks you were into anyway ;P

Keep rockin' it, AP!

~Nick

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Hey Mr. Rob, it's been good being back in action!

I wish there was a way I could upload myself infield to show the progress I made from last year to this... The whole mood of the pickups are totally different now because I'm actually having fun... even in situations like these because I know I'll have a funny story to tell. Where I was trying to repress nervousness last year, I actually feign it when I say "Would it be okay if a stranger gave another stranger a sincere compliment" only to turn it around with a big smug "Alright then, give me a compliment!" if they say yes.

But yes, my frame was pretty much shit haha. I only kept shooting back responses out of stubbornness and an unwillingness to retreat... In reality, I wasn't prepared for those kinds of probing questions, and when probed further than I had planned to be probed, my frame fell apart... I learned my style of frame control from debate class (either that, or my frame was strong in debate class because of pick-up practice from the previous summer), and found that as long as I had a good response to any cross exam question, I could stay rock solid. If ever again I put myself in a situation where I need to approach someone I normally wouldn't, as of today, I'll be prepared

---

Thanks Nick!

Usually that wit gets used in sexual innuendo and double entendre... The only thing close to using it for shit tests would be my practice for it in debate class for cross exams... Hence the combativeness that took over. Since argumentation doesn't help seduction, I'll need to learn to tweak things a bit from how I'd normally respond.

Not the types of chicks I'd normally be into, but maybe I'll start approaching more anyway simply as a means to get more shit-testing exposure