Hey guys,
Went out last night for like an hour to a bar with live music. Chatted up two girls--got the number with one, but the other had a somewhat frustrating ending.
First girl
Right when I walk into the venue (alone) I see a bunch of girls. They're kind of basic college/immediate post grad girls all wearing the same thing lol, but still pretty cute.
I see one brunette in a leather jacket holding two beers:
There was then some banter and I decided to move her:
I then deep dive her a little, which is actually something that I haven't been doing a lot recently. I feel like now that my banter/leading has improved, I have felt less pressure to actually get to know the girl, lol. However, I know I need to deep dive more.
She then breaks circle with me after getting a text message. She apologizes and I wait. Then she comes back to make eye contact with me.
She then breaks circle to text again immediately after I say this and Im like goddammit. While texting she says:
I should have persisted and asked her to stay 5 more min, but oh well. Basically tried to set a sexual frame and she refused my frame. Any insight into what went wrong here...? Or did anything even go wrong? Maybe I should just be more persistent.
Second girl
The music now just started so im sitting at the bar getting a beer (I usually only have 1-2 beers when I go out). Through my periphery I see a very hot dirty blonde girl in a tan pea coat and white lacy shirt standing over my shoulder. I see that she's twirling her hair and standing alone, so I saw that as an approach invitation.
A word on approach invitations: I feel like I dont look out for the subtle ones a lot. I think it requires a certain confident mindset like "that girl definitely wants to talk to me." This one was pretty clear but I want to get better at recognizing them.
I half get up from my stool and turn over my shoulder to open her:
Its pretty loud now so we're basically talking in each other's ears.
Theres some light banter after this and she's vibing with me. I see through my periphery that shes here with another couple, so basically third wheeling.
I get up from the bar and turn her away from this other couple so we can face the band.
After a few minutes the other girl approaches us and my girl breaks circle to introduce her:
I gave Trish a ribbing for coming in so hot and insinuating a threesome. In retrospect I should've used this to set a sexual frame, but didn't.
We're now talking as a group of three and I learn that the guy is actually coworker and he's off talking to other coworkers.
The blonde is liking my cold reads, but she seems a little tipsy and overwhelmed with silly girliness, so the convo actually gets kind of stupid. I kind of lose control of the conversation, so I tell them Im gonna walk around a bit.
A while later while the band is playing Im standing on the periphery and see Rachel standing along somewhat facing me. Another approach invitation...
I realize this would be a great opportunity for me to take Rachel by the hand and pull her to me--something dominant and physical. We hadn't touched much at this point.
However, I faced this internal resistance. All I could imagine was her pulling her hand away and leaving. I stood there frozen and the window closed.
Im going to read the "Pull her Close" article, but I was wondering if you guys had some tips for making big dominant, physical moves like this. Still feels like jumping off a cliff for me and I need to rewire my brain to see them as good/no big deal. Any tips?
Cheers,
BigS
Went out last night for like an hour to a bar with live music. Chatted up two girls--got the number with one, but the other had a somewhat frustrating ending.
First girl
Right when I walk into the venue (alone) I see a bunch of girls. They're kind of basic college/immediate post grad girls all wearing the same thing lol, but still pretty cute.
I see one brunette in a leather jacket holding two beers:
Me: I like how you're double fisting like that
Her: haha thanks, I'm waiting for a friend
Me: im BigS
Her: im Amanda
There was then some banter and I decided to move her:
I then deep dive her a little, which is actually something that I haven't been doing a lot recently. I feel like now that my banter/leading has improved, I have felt less pressure to actually get to know the girl, lol. However, I know I need to deep dive more.
She then breaks circle with me after getting a text message. She apologizes and I wait. Then she comes back to make eye contact with me.
Her: sorry its my friend
Me: its okay. so do you want to live in [our city] forever?
Her: no I actually want to move to denver
Me: oh is that cuz of the weed?
Her: no haha, its because blah blah
Me: actually the only reason why I like weed is cuz it makes sex better
She then breaks circle to text again immediately after I say this and Im like goddammit. While texting she says:
I should have persisted and asked her to stay 5 more min, but oh well. Basically tried to set a sexual frame and she refused my frame. Any insight into what went wrong here...? Or did anything even go wrong? Maybe I should just be more persistent.
Second girl
The music now just started so im sitting at the bar getting a beer (I usually only have 1-2 beers when I go out). Through my periphery I see a very hot dirty blonde girl in a tan pea coat and white lacy shirt standing over my shoulder. I see that she's twirling her hair and standing alone, so I saw that as an approach invitation.
A word on approach invitations: I feel like I dont look out for the subtle ones a lot. I think it requires a certain confident mindset like "that girl definitely wants to talk to me." This one was pretty clear but I want to get better at recognizing them.
I half get up from my stool and turn over my shoulder to open her:
Me: how are you?
Her: good how are you?
Me: good, im BigS
Her: im rachel
Its pretty loud now so we're basically talking in each other's ears.
Me: I like your jacket
Rachel: thanks, its not warm enough for today.
Me: what's your weather app?
Rachel: hahaha I dont have one
Me: I suggest weather.com lol
Theres some light banter after this and she's vibing with me. I see through my periphery that shes here with another couple, so basically third wheeling.
I get up from the bar and turn her away from this other couple so we can face the band.
After a few minutes the other girl approaches us and my girl breaks circle to introduce her:
Her: this is my friend Trish
Me: [still facing Rachel] hi im BigS
Trish: we're a package deal
Me: hahaha, wtf?
I gave Trish a ribbing for coming in so hot and insinuating a threesome. In retrospect I should've used this to set a sexual frame, but didn't.
We're now talking as a group of three and I learn that the guy is actually coworker and he's off talking to other coworkers.
Me: [to Trish] I think you and I could be friends, but idk about her...
Trish: yeah I totally see that
Rachel: [smiley and giggly...]
Me: [to Trish] is she always like this?
Rachel: hahaha yeah I am
Me: why are you so smiley and giggly?
The blonde is liking my cold reads, but she seems a little tipsy and overwhelmed with silly girliness, so the convo actually gets kind of stupid. I kind of lose control of the conversation, so I tell them Im gonna walk around a bit.
A while later while the band is playing Im standing on the periphery and see Rachel standing along somewhat facing me. Another approach invitation...
I realize this would be a great opportunity for me to take Rachel by the hand and pull her to me--something dominant and physical. We hadn't touched much at this point.
However, I faced this internal resistance. All I could imagine was her pulling her hand away and leaving. I stood there frozen and the window closed.
Im going to read the "Pull her Close" article, but I was wondering if you guys had some tips for making big dominant, physical moves like this. Still feels like jumping off a cliff for me and I need to rewire my brain to see them as good/no big deal. Any tips?
Cheers,
BigS
