Should I accept girls offer to pay for my food?

[Kaida]

I’m not hung up on this girl specifically, but I think it’s good practice to bring quick questions I have here to shorten my learning curve if thats fine with yall




I set up a date with this girl a few hours ago, and the movie theater we’re going to is extremely close to me (6min) but far from her (30+ mins).


I also have a car and she doesn’t, so she’d have to take Uber there. I would’ve been fine driving her but I would much rather get some of her investment by her paying uber. Shes cute too (~ 8/10 imo).


On the phoneI sold the place and said it has amazing food and I want her to try. That helped a bit, but she still seemed a but hesitant about taking the plunge to buy the ride. So I said that I’ll buy our food if she buys the Uber. She then replies saying “I wanna buy the food tho”


I didn’t want to object to it cuz I want all the investment I can get. However I didn’t want to look like a cheapskate just backing off like “Oh ok. Yeah you pay!”.


I insisted and once she insisted back I backed off and said “Ok. Well how about you just buy the Uber and we’ll figure that out when we get there”. That satisfied her and she seemed more open to the date, so we locked it in and I ended the call.

Questions:

1. Was my framing in general good?

2. On the date she’ll inevitably revisit this frame by trying to pay for us. How do I handle this, and do I let her pay?

 

[Rakehell]

Questions:

1. Was my framing in general good?

2. On the date she’ll inevitably revisit this frame by trying to pay for us. How do I handle this, and do I let her pay?

1 Not bad at all

2 While I cant say whether or not having this chick pay for your food is the best play. I can say that it’s pretty easy for you to do whatever you decide to either way.

If you do decide to pay and she insists, then be playful about it. It’s not something that has to be taken dead ass.

Tell her you don’t need another sugar mommy right now; Cover her eyes in a cheeky way when the check comes and pay whoever brings your tab; Try her food throughout, then if she brings up the bill, tell her you practically ate her whole plate anyway, even if you only tried a bite.

If you decide to let her pay—then let her pay lol.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Ir you're in the States

LET HER PAY.

And do not bring up anything about traditional roles, feminism, or any of that red pill mouth breather stuff.

Do look at her behavior though. Some chicks think that paying for food, not accepting rides, gives them more "power". But other chicks, especially young ones, see it as fair. And other chicks are long term minded. You are not going to know her behavior until you observe it.

You want to figure out those qualities **without** asking about them. Asking direct questions, generally ruins the game.

The dinner date is very traditional and there are all sorts of traps and tricks. I'm sure something has been written on them, but it's more than just going for food.

 

[Kaida]

And do not bring up anything about traditional roles, feminism, or any of that red pill mouth breather stuff.

Do look at her behavior though. Some chicks think that paying for food, not accepting rides, gives them more "power". But other chicks, especially young ones, see it as fair. And other chicks are long term minded. You are not going to know her behavior until you observe it.

Facts. This one is a bit of a power play “I’m my own boss” type girl. I was able to get her acting girly at times tho.

The dinner date is very traditional and there are all sorts of traps and tricks. I'm sure something has been written on them, but it's more than just going for food.

Its a movie date actually. It’s at a theater that serves food while the movie plays. Doubt that makes a difference tho.

Ir you're in the States

LET HER PAY.

Alright, for sure. How do I let her pay (or split) now tho since I previously offered to cover it?

 

[Skills]

Listen nobody cheaper than me and pimp women aka have them pay for things more than me, well other than @TomInHo but before the 3 fucks i would pay taking the masculine role if you are doing lover date your expenses should be max 20 bucks...i seen top guys and a bunch of dudes losing women splitting bill is retarded....the only time to do this if she is demanding for you to pay...autist think if you pay you go into provider position which is silly....

 

[POB]

Listen nobody cheaper than me and pimp women aka have them pay for things more than me, well other than @TomInHo but before the 3 fucks i would pay taking the masculine role if you are doing lover date your expenses should be max 20 bucks...i seen top guys and a bunch of dudes losing women splitting bill is retarded....the only time to do this if she is demanding for you to pay...autist think if you pay you go into provider position which is silly....

This ^^^

After 3 times of pipi in vagina, do whatever you like.

 

[Kaida]

Thank you for the breakdown

Listen nobody cheaper than me and pimp women aka have them pay for things more than me, well other than @TomInHo but before the 3 fucks i would pay taking the masculine role if you are doing lover date your expenses should be max 20 bucks...

Alright for sure. Its actually a thester date so maybe slightly different dynamics there.

I was thinking I’ll let her pay for her ticket but I’ll pay the food. She’d already be dropping $35+ on the uber so plus the ticket it’d be $50 lmao

i seen top guys and a bunch of dudes losing women splitting bill is retarded....the only time to do this if she is demanding for you to pay...autist think if you pay you go into provider position which is silly....

I thought the same. I think its more of an attainability thing, like if you’re already seen as a pushover nice guy, paying her food would just push you deeper into the hole. Splitting the bill or getting her to pay may get you out of it.

But as a lover it doesn’t matter and may even be beneficial as it increases your attainability.

Is my read right?

 

[tenere]

Get all caught up in who's paying this or that sounds too much like a chess game. Offer, and if misses I want to pay this and that goes off about paying, just say fine by me. If you two hit it off and she's excited to see you again, absolutely none of the who's paying chatter will make a difference. Have a good time, be fun, anything else sucks the life out of any chance for romance.

 

[Skills]

Thank you for the breakdown



Alright for sure. Its actually a thester date so maybe slightly different dynamics there.

I was thinking I’ll let her pay for her ticket but I’ll pay the food. She’d already be dropping $35+ on the uber so plus the ticket it’d be $50 lmao

yeah so in this case what i have done in the past for example, is "you drive and i pay" so it looks like she got skim in the game i did this one time when i took girl to swing club.... So you can go you do this and i take care of that..... perfectly fine...

I thought the same. I think its more of an attainability thing, like if you’re already seen as a pushover nice guy, paying her food would just push you deeper into the hole. Splitting the bill or getting her to pay may get you out of it.

But as a lover it doesn’t matter and may even be beneficial as it increases your attainability.

Is my read right?

No the problem relys more on the type of date you paying for ice cream, coffee, taco, bistro, pizza, does not make you into a provider since they are lover dates.... so paying or not is irrrelevant get it....

you taking her to dinner in a restaurant, or movies or miniature golf, or the oparah etc... and paying or even if she split, puts you into bf possibility application (is not even provider, but yea for the sake of forum lets say provider)... provider for us per teev is exchanging sex for relationship.. is not provider cause you pay for the date (again is autism)

 

[ulrich]

More important than paying itself is the frame involved around paying and wether she complied or not to a helpful/unhelpful frame.

For example, if she insists on paying because she doesn’t want to feel like she owes you something, that’s a very unhelpful frame.
I would suggest you insist on paying and say that she can treat you to something later.

If she wants to pay because she thinks you went out of your way on something for her and she wants to reward you, that’s a frame that helps the seduction.
In that case, you should accept her investment.

As you can see, it’s a little more tricky than just accepting or not.
There’s calibration involved.

 

[DarkKnight]

I would, any extra investment is good, but also when people try to do things for you and it reject it it can come across as rejecting them.