Should I Confess A Lie?

James D

Cro-Magnon Man
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Two months ago, I got together with a woman who's 31.

I'm 24.

When the age question came up back then, I asked her to guess.

She said 32.

I said 33.

She's a pretty cool woman and we've been seeing each other since then, albeit nothing official.

I have this thing in me that's urging me to confess the truth, even if I know she will 99% cut all ties.

I'm not sure if it's a way to sabotage it or not.

And yes, I messed up on this one and will be cautious before lying again.
 

Will_V

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IMO the best way to approach this is to 'confess' very soon after you sleep together. It gets much harder with someone you are familiar with, both to confess and to be the recipient of one.

For example the first time I go laid she was 7 years older, I can't remember what age I said I was but as I was lying there in the afterglow I told her both what my real age was and also that she was my first lol. We ended up living together for a few months before I started philandering around.

That experience set the tone for how I deal with honesty. Although I will tell fibs every now and then, I generally consider honesty to be the main thing that validates the way that I deal with women. I always try to give them the truth (at the right time) at least on the things that matter to them long-term, so that they might only be deceived on the things they would prefer to be deceived on.

In your case I would probably just come out with it casually at some point and let her make up her own mind. There are many more candidates out there.
 

Skills

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Two months ago, I got together with a woman who's 31.

I'm 24.

When the age question came up back then, I asked her to guess.

She said 32.

I said 33.

She's a pretty cool woman and we've been seeing each other since then, albeit nothing official.

I have this thing in me that's urging me to confess the truth, even if I know she will 99% cut all ties.

I'm not sure if it's a way to sabotage it or not.

And yes, I messed up on this one and will be cautious before lying again.
If you fucked her 3 times should not make a difference.... Women found out my real name, profession age etc... Years later and some never did.... But what is your point to confess let her find out by herself...
 

James D

Cro-Magnon Man
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IMO the best way to approach this is to 'confess' very soon after you sleep together. It gets much harder with someone you are familiar with, both to confess and to be the recipient of one.

For example the first time I go laid she was 7 years older, I can't remember what age I said I was but as I was lying there in the afterglow I told her both what my real age was and also that she was my first lol. We ended up living together for a few months before I started philandering around.

That experience set the tone for how I deal with honesty. Although I will tell fibs every now and then, I generally consider honesty to be the main thing that validates the way that I deal with women. I always try to give them the truth (at the right time) at least on the things that matter to them long-term, so that they might only be deceived on the things they would prefer to be deceived on.

In your case I would probably just come out with it casually at some point and let her make up her own mind. There are many more candidates out there.
Thanks for your reply.

We share similar views on the honesty factor altho I've messed up with it.

Will bring it up casually and let her decide.

More candidates indeed out there.
 

James D

Cro-Magnon Man
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If you fucked her 3 times should not make a difference.... Women found out my real name, profession age etc... Years later and some never did.... But what is your point to confess let her find out by herself...
No. Letting her find out by herself doesn't sit well with me.
 

Ambiance

Cro-Magnon Man
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From a Machiavellian standpoint, you will both be better off if she continues to believe you are the age you told her (provided that she in unlikely to find out on her own, or that you don’t have a serious future together, which I would not recommend due to your respective ages).

Therefore, you should assuage any guilt you feel, and adhere to @Will_V ’s great advice for future trysts :)
 

gameboy

Space Monkey
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Personally, I wouldn't feell good about a relationship that's based on a lie. Even if it's just casual.

I'm not sure yet how to handle the age issue, I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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No. Letting her find out by herself doesn't sit well with me.
Brah then why you lied in the first place.... Telling her or not telling her won't make a difference anyway, you banged enough times... I don't see any seduction angle or advantage of telling her at this point, but if you do won't make difference at this point other than a little drama if any...
 

Hue

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She's 31, you're 24, and you said 33? Unless you're naturally much older looking and acting she probably knows you were lying and didn't give a shit.

If she's worth anything more than a FB, I guess you can nip it in the bud. If not I'd just ignore it and keep seeing her. If and when she brings it up deal with it, otherwise there's no reason to make problems for yourself.
 

James D

Cro-Magnon Man
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UPDATE:

Brought it up to her.

She was pretty shocked.

Proceeded to have sex afterwards.

My conscience is much better.

@Skills it makes a difference whether I tell her or not and it's my conscience.

As to why I lied in the first place, it's plain stupidity and was a mistake. Not happening again.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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UPDATE:

Brought it up to her.

She was pretty shocked.

Proceeded to have sex afterwards.

My conscience is much better.

@Skills it makes a difference whether I tell her or not and it's my conscience.

As to why I lied in the first place, it's plain stupidity and was a mistake. Not happening again.
Told you nothing was going to happen, nah is not conscience is called onitis..
 
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