Should I even bother saving her in my phone?

[Godsninja]

If a girl doesn't text me back after we go on a date, even after I try to phone her, should I just delete her number from my phone? I've always done this to people who don't text me, I don't see the point of their phone number being on my cellular device if they don't want to talk to me, or refuse to text me back. Everyone. No exceptions. Should I be thinking twice?

 

[Smith]

Sounds like the date didn't go too well. I don't tend to delete girls' number on my phone simply because I don't believe in cutting all my connections. This is a personal choice. Give her some time. If you think she's lost then sure delete her number. Be ruthless and move on.

 

[Mr. oblivious]

It just depends on you personally if you think by not deleting her number you are going to keep trying to contact her etc. (start chasing ) then i would recommend deleting it but if you know you have enough self control it would recommend keeping it cause often in a couple of month you can usually send a message and set something up plus you have nothing to lose by keeping it and attempting an LR down the road

 

[Godsninja]

I just failed to escalate properly and to transition to being physical and sexual.

And ok, makes sense.

 

[Marty]

If a girl doesn't text me back after we go on a date, even after I try to phone her, should I just delete her number from my phone?

With what purpose are you contacting her after your date?

Also... how long after it are you contacting her? Are you sending a text message, in which case what is the content? Or are you calling her, and when she fails to answer are you expecting a response via text message rather than calling you back?

 

[Godsninja]

With what purpose are you contacting her after your date?

Also... how long after it are you contacting her? Are you sending a text message, in which case what is the content? Or are you calling her, and when she fails to answer are you expecting a response via text message rather than calling you back?

To set up another one next week. Was drinking later in the day after the date, and buddy told me I should say "<blahblahblah>" and got no reply. Waited like 5 days, asked if she would like to grab a bite, no reply. Called 3 days later. No answer...

 

[Godsninja]

So, I have all these numbers in my phone (once again) and I know that none of them besides 1 or 2, out of a couple dozen, are even willing to text me back (once again). It really makes me feel like shit that I have these people in my phone, yet there is ZERO attraction, so I think I'm just going to delete them.

I feel kind of stupid to have them there in the first place, let alone deleting a bunch of phone numbers where there is nothing happening, even though I am seemingly doing everything right.

I really want to avoid this even happening in the future, so I don't think I am ever going to save a girls number in my phone, ever again. I have literally lost all respect, and all trust, in women, most likely forever. I can't say I'll behave like I believe this in the moment, when I am talking with a girl, but I'll remember this forever in the long term, and especially when I pull my phone out.

I plan on texting them their name, and my name, and NOT adding them. I can put 2kb of data to better use than that. I know a guy who rarely if ever added girls to his phone contacts, and he did very well, so I plan on doing the same.

I've been reading Chase's articles almost non-stop for over a year now, maybe 2, and my interactions are just going down hill.

If anyone has anything to add, or would like to share anything, go right ahead,

 

[Marty]

Tomi:

A couple dozen?

I don't think you're being realistic about the amount of work required. Have you seen my "first-year report card"?

If not I'll find the link for you when I'm not typing on my phone, but it should give you some idea of the ratios you can expect in cold approach.

By way of comparison, I have 81 numbers in my phone from cold approach, and I know that not a single one of them is likely to lead to further romantic activity, beyond anything that has already taken place. That's why I go out and add more every week.

You have to be sensible about the scale of the task ahead, else you'll be continually disappointed.

-Marty

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hey guys,

I have 81 numbers in my phone from cold approach, and I know that not a single one of them is likely to lead to further romantic activity, beyond anything that has already taken place. That's why I go out and add more every week.

Don't waste your numbers. Remember you can always spend just an hour or two for meeting girls. That's date compression.

Zac

 

[Godsninja]

I've read it Marty and commented a bit, it actually moved me to start my own journal on here.

And Zac, what do you mean by "Don't waste your numbers", or is that a reply for Marty?

 

[Richard]

I adopted a "one and done" rule from my buddy Tool.

Basically, if a girl flakes once without offering a re-schedule, and if a girl doesn't text back or call back after like 2 texts then I delete her number... When you've got an abundance there's no need to play along with petty games or non-serious women.

-Richard

 

[Godsninja]

I like that one Richard! One and done. Damn...love that. I think that's what I'll use instead of thinking of women as disloyal disrespectful creatures. I kinda get it...

But one and done, fuck ya, that's the code of cell phones

 

[NarrowJ]

Also remember that a lot of girls will have a sudden change of heart when they find out you're not going to chase them like 99% of other guys do.

If a girl is unresponsive twice in succession, I'll simply mark her name in my contacts with a "DNC - " in front of it (short for Do Not Contact). Then, I have a section in my contacts list that might look something like this:

DNC - Amy from mall
DNC - Brandy from the bar
DNC - Cheryl (friends with Dani)
DNC - Dasha from the park

etcetera.

Then, when I get a text from one of these girls I'll know she's someone I tried to contact with no success prior and can message back accordingly (since you will text these girls differently - warming up to them slowly - it's nice to know who they are . Then, periodically I'll go through this list of DNC's and clean out ones that has been more than, say 6 months ago since I heard from them last.


J.J.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Tomi,

And Zac, what do you mean by "Don't waste your numbers", or is that a reply for Marty?

Not all numbers are always a lost cause. Maybe you come off as a boyfriend material but if you text her later sometime and go on a date, and she rejects your advances, You know where your mistakes are.

Not everything is always a lost cause. Try to understand where you fail so you can know where to help yourself

Zac

 

[Godsninja]

I think I see what your saying Zac, using JJ's adivce by adding "DNC" followed by their name, and HOW you actually know them (I never thought I'd forget who in the heck a girl is and/or where I met her, haha!) would work well with what you're saying.

I think that's actually pretty good though JJ. It's a sort of middle ground, and it completely avoids the whole "who are you?" scenario in texts, where many times they don't even answer. It sorts of puts them down there on a different level, and not on the same level you would hold everyone else at.

See, that's where my problem was with having these girls as contacts in my phone. I don't know why, but it feels like I'm not respecting myself by having them there. If I just keep them there, they could just text me, and very possibly get me. Like I'm giving them permission to do that, and I don't really know who they are, and I don't have control over it, but they can just walk over me, so to speak. Like one part of me thinks, "look at all these contacts/number from girls" and the rational part says "who are you KIDDING!? they are a waste of time guy!!!".

So finding out a way to stop that feeling, but also to not throw away causes that may not be lost, or causes that may very well text you in the future, is what I was after.

'DNCing' numbers, from NarrowJ, is something I'll definitely be using in the future.

Tomi

 

[trashKENNUT]

'DNCing' numbers, from NarrowJ, is something I'll definitely be using in the future.

Definitely. I also recommend you using J.J stuff, but what if she doesn't contact you? So you might as well contact her after a month right?

Zac

 

[NarrowJ]

Tomi,

See, that's where my problem was with having these girls as contacts in my phone. I don't know why, but it feels like I'm not respecting myself by having them there. If I just keep them there, they could just text me, and very possibly get me. Like I'm giving them permission to do that, and I don't really know who they are, and I don't have control over it, but they can just walk over me, so to speak. Like one part of me thinks, "look at all these contacts/number from girls" and the rational part says "who are you KIDDING!? they are a waste of time guy!!!".

Yeah, this is definitely a feeling you need to let go of. There's no reason to feel spurned or used or walked on by females. They're just silly and cute, and when they reject our advances we laugh and shrug it off and move onto the next number. You're just trying to give her an amazing experience and she's going to pass it up? Her loss! And plus, remember, you just want to phuck =)

J.J.

 

[Godsninja]

I got a text from a number last night and didn't know who it was (wasn't saved in phone), so I'm wondering what to do in the future if this happens? This is what I said, and I know it's wrong, but I dono what else to do, lmao...

Her [9]: hey what you up to?
I [2]: Hey sorry was out whos this again?
I [10]: I'll call u lucy, like lucy liu, then
I [12]: U want me to call u lucy, or u gona tell me ur real name?

I texted her back right when I saw the msg. I also know I shouldnta texted 3 times in a row, but usually when I ask who they are, I don't get a text back, like they aren't interested in me anymore simply because I didn't save their fucking number in my phone. I think it's a completely ridiculous idea. So..I tried to fix it by calling them something (lucy in this case) so I can at least call them something...hmm..

Any suggestions? Should I just NOT ASK? Like, hey yea, lets meet up at this coffee shop x. I dono..

 

[Marty]

Tomi,

I don't get it. What's your issue here? Does your phone not have enough memory?

Most higher-quality phones duplicate the address book to the Cloud these days. If you can't afford that, at least record the numbers you get in your approach log, so that you're not stuck in these ridiculous situations.

If I were that girl, I'd never speak to you again. How insulting to delete her number.

Like I said I have 80+ numbers and counting from cold approach so far and I never intend to delete any of them. What's the point?

-Marty

 

[Godsninja]

I don't get it. What's your issue here? Does your phone not have enough memory?

I actually laughed. No Marty it's not that, I said it in a post a few back, but I'll paste it here for you to easily see:

See, that's where my problem was with having these girls as contacts in my phone. I don't know why, but it feels like I'm not respecting myself by having them there. If I just keep them there, they could just text me, and very possibly get me. Like I'm giving them permission to do that, and I don't really know who they are, and I don't have control over it, but they can just walk over me, so to speak. Like one part of me thinks, "look at all these contacts/number from girls" and the rational part says "who are you KIDDING!? they are a waste of time guy!!!".

Hopefully you understand where I'm coming from and why I delete numbers. I wish I realized sooner what I should have done instead. I think perhaps we might be on opposite sides of the spectrum, I don't think a phone number is such a big deal, maybe it's because I've had it happen to me so many times where people ask who this is. I don't really care so much, as long as it's not more than once, even then, I just kinda think their an idiot at that point, or need to commit to one single phone ! :/

But yea, shit I hope you're wrong, because I have a fairly good idea who it is, and their reaction to being called 'baby'. So I'll do that. But my most recent question asks, what to do/text when you don't know who is texting you. Marty, I don't think you'd be the greatest person to answer this because anyone texting YOU, you definitly don't know, so asking "who are you?" is completely ok, because you never had them in your phone to start with

Yea so I made a mistake of deleting a number and I want to know how to fix it. Shouldn't be a big deal.