What's new

Should I get my ex gf back in the rotation ?

nolimits

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 12, 2016
Messages
111
Hey Guys,

I am an advanced, so this post could be something fun to juggle with for al of you rational thinkers.

I had 3 gf a few months back and in january I decided to ghost my unfaithful long term FWB and to not pass the two year mark with the other gf.

After 2 months of going hard on pickup *- where I have fucked about 10-12 girls- I would like to take some down time from it.

This might be pickout burnout, or the fact that out of these 12 girls I banged none of theme was a lot better than the ones I had before...

Thing is, here I am considering the idea of getting another girl into my rotation.

At the moment I have one gf I see 1-2 a week which provides good sex and good conversation but isn't enough from a connection stand point due to her avoidant attachment style.

The girl I think about getting back in my rotation wasn't the girl of my life or anything, but she provided good sex, good companionship, and she was pretty flexible. Plus she was loyal which is always a plus.

I also enjoyed the fact that she had a few good homes where she would invite me during the summer - I'm no gold digger but everyone likes a nice beach house with a golf club at a 20 minutes distance.

Anyway, at the time I splitted with this girl because instead of progressing the relationship, I was like ' I can have better, no way I'll chase after you.'

So I told her ' look it looks like you have great expectations out of this relationship , I'll set you free.'

After three months of going cold turkey I could try to seduce her back.

My goal is to not give in to requests such as children or something that's too constraining, but I can be fine with me telling her 'look, I'm sorry I was a bit inconsiderate but I did not feel like measleading you back when you asked for more'.

And then attack the root cause which was that at first I saw this girl 5 times a week during lockdown, and when I dialed it back down to 1-2 a week she hated my guts.

Of course, my unbreakable frame of one sided monogamy did not really help ahahah

I know I could look for a new girl but don't really feel like it right now, and can't see why I wouldn't take this one girl back.

I guess my only concern is I might be wasting her time. But am I if she has a great time with me ?

Unless she is 100% sure she is looking for children I could go and try to get this chick back.

What do you think ?

Should I try to do this ? And if so should I tell her I have some girls in my rotation ?

I guess I am looking for some support on the ethics side here.

No Limits
 

DoWhatWorks

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
622
This might be pickout burnout, or the fact that out of these 12 girls I banged none of theme was a lot better than the ones I had before...

This is very normal. You’ve hit abundance but not absolute abundance.

After three months of going cold turkey I could try to seduce her back.

My goal is to not give in to requests such as children or something that's too constraining, but I can be fine with me telling her 'look, I'm sorry I was a bit inconsiderate but I did not feel like measleading you back when you asked for more'.

We’re still in the hypothetical but my predication would be this wouldn’t work.

If it does work, it sets the wrong frame of you not willing to let her go so she’ll push for demands in the future as you’ve set the precedent when push comes to shove you’ll return.


I know I could look for a new girl but don't really feel like it right now, and can't see why I wouldn't take this one girl back.

I’m guilty of wanting girls back for ease, but the more experience I get the more I believe it’s far easier to get a new girl with the right frame than fix/ re-kindle an older one in my humble opinion

Funnily enough, when you get a new girl you like it’s highly likely she’d hit you up anyway. Girls have a 5th sense for abundance lol.

I guess my only concern is I might be wasting her time. But am I if she has a great time with me ?

This is your call & depends on your ethics. Think you should factor in age. I personally let an MLTR go shortly after her 27th birthday as she was looking to settle down & I wasn’t.

If she was 21 I’d have a clear conscious as I know I would give her a happy fulfilling relationship and save her trauma from the dating market lol.

Should I try to do this ? And if so should I tell her I have some girls in my rotation ?

Personally I’d bite the billet & get new girls in until I found one I liked. Appreciate that won’t be the answer you want to hear .

Good luck!
 

nolimits

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 12, 2016
Messages
111
Yeah I tend to agree with you, except - because of course I did not give enough context - on the me not having absolute abundance. ( it is subjective but I am pretty sure I have it)

I think the question boils down to ethics and wether children are something EVERY girl wants or not.

Do all women who say they don’t want kids lie ?

because if say , 35% of women actually do not want kids as they say , then it would not make sense to feel guilty for wasting a girl her time.

At this point in my life I can give a girl most of what she wants except for kids but I am passing up on a ton of cute girls because of ethics.

meaning i let them go every two years because I assume that when they ask for more investment they subconsciously want kids event if they don’t say it

But what if it turns out they are actually neutral on the matter and end up not having kids at all after we split ?

I’ll have let go quite a few cute girls for the wrong reason.

How to know wether a girl actually wants kids or not ?

what do you guys think ?
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
Top