Should I go on dates if I can't even open hook girls consistently?

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
224
Hi anyone! would really appreciate any ideas regarding these 2 questions:

If I can't even open and hook girls consistently but once in a while get a date should I go for it or not waste the time and keep working on the openers and hooking?

Also, is there any value to someone like me of reading LRs or FUs from much more advanced people?
At this stage I believe that there really is no value to me of reading these

Cheers!
Y
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
5,138
If I can't even open and hook girls consistently but once in a while get a date should I go for it or not waste the time and keep working on the openers and hooking?

Go on the date. Why reject her? Unless you mentally need it to affirm your skill level.

Different strokes for different folks.

Also, is there any value to someone like me of reading LRs or FUs from much more advanced people?
At this stage I believe that there really is no value to me of reading these

I think you are a guy who needs some linearity?

I recommend drawing a journal so it helps your mind tell that it's moving forward
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
224
Go on the date. Why reject her? Unless you mentally need it to affirm your skill level.

Different strokes for different folks.

Thanks for reading Zac!

Alright, I'm just obsessed with the whole step-by-step process thing.

Now I think about it I'm afraid that the date won't go well so and then what's the point if my deep-diving is shit.
Which is just fear so maybe I'll go on it haha.


I think you are a guy who needs some linearity?

I recommend drawing a journal so it helps your mind tell that it's moving forward

Feels bad that I'm not there yet and I think it just makes me worry to much and think too far ahead given I'm actually struggling with opening and hooking.
 

Mondo

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
31
Yes definitely. Experience is extremely valuable.

A lot of what I was going to say, I already said in another Thread of yours. The process is good to learn and get down, but it’s only the means to an end.

part of that end is getting dates! And besides you’ll learn a ton on a date, as long as you pay attention like I’ve been advising, and don’t get stuck in your head. Remember the tool can be set down and it can be picked up again. Don’t cling to any tool, when another may be needed more. (Awareness/process)

Hope im not losing you here. What I’m trying to say is you’re putting in a good effort, just chill a bit haha.
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
224
Yes definitely. Experience is extremely valuable.

A lot of what I was going to say, I already said in another Thread of yours. The process is good to learn and get down, but it’s only the means to an end.

part of that end is getting dates! And besides you’ll learn a ton on a date, as long as you pay attention like I’ve been advising, and don’t get stuck in your head. Remember the tool can be set down and it can be picked up again. Don’t cling to any tool, when another may be needed more. (Awareness/process)

Hope im not losing you here. What I’m trying to say is you’re putting in a good effort, just chill a bit haha.

Ok I got it! I'll slow down the approaching for a bit and do some studying :)
Thanks for following @Mondo !
 

West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
122
Hi anyone! would really appreciate any ideas regarding these 2 questions:

If I can't even open and hook girls consistently but once in a while get a date should I go for it or not waste the time and keep working on the openers and hooking?

Also, is there any value to someone like me of reading LRs or FUs from much more advanced people?
At this stage I believe that there really is no value to me of reading these

Cheers!
Y

Cold Approach isn't the same as Dates.

If the chick wants to go out on a date with you (either because you initiated, or she did) - the fact that she's interested in the date tells you that she is attracted. Doesn't mean it's a home run, or you just met your future wife. It just means that she got a thin slice of who you are, and she wants more. The date is basically her "interviewing" you. That's the frame that she often adopts.

That said, your frame is the same. You're not trying to sell yourself. You're trying to evaluate her. Plenty of guys have had their lives ruined because they wanted a sex partner, or just someone to be with them and stop the loneliness.

In practical terms, your job at that point is to deepen the attraction, build trust, get a bit of arousal going, and escape the public venue to a one that's more private. (all of which are described in a billion other posts on this forum and in the GC articles - so don't ask me)

Know what your goals in general, and with the particular girl. And design the date around those goals.

One of the good things about going out on a date, is that once you get past the first few moments of a date where it's stranger talking to stranger in a formal way, you'll get into a conversation with someone that wants to talk. From this experience, you'll know during your cold approach what a girl that is actually interested in YOU really looks like. You'll also take note of how you feel emotionally.

One thing I would avoid doing on dates, is making the date meta. There is part of you that wants to know how to cold approach, how she gets approached, why she picked you, how the date is going, etc. Do not indulge yourself by asking her. Focus on the date, on having a good time.

WIA
 

Michal

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 5, 2013
Messages
271
Hmm, I understand where you are coming from with your question. As with every skill, as you learn, you will have ups and downs and dips to different levels than you are at. Experience is king.
So... if you hit it off with a girl in a party and she wanted to give you a BJ, would you say "nah, I'm good" because you cannot get dates consistently? Maybe you'd finish too fast, and you can do something with PE then. Rather than finally get it on with the girl you really really like and lasting 10 seconds
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
224
Cold Approach isn't the same as Dates.

If the chick wants to go out on a date with you (either because you initiated, or she did) - the fact that she's interested in the date tells you that she is attracted. Doesn't mean it's a home run, or you just met your future wife. It just means that she got a thin slice of who you are, and she wants more. The date is basically her "interviewing" you. That's the frame that she often adopts.

That said, your frame is the same. You're not trying to sell yourself. You're trying to evaluate her. Plenty of guys have had their lives ruined because they wanted a sex partner, or just someone to be with them and stop the loneliness.

In practical terms, your job at that point is to deepen the attraction, build trust, get a bit of arousal going, and escape the public venue to a one that's more private. (all of which are described in a billion other posts on this forum and in the GC articles - so don't ask me)

Know what your goals in general, and with the particular girl. And design the date around those goals.

One of the good things about going out on a date, is that once you get past the first few moments of a date where it's stranger talking to stranger in a formal way, you'll get into a conversation with someone that wants to talk. From this experience, you'll know during your cold approach what a girl that is actually interested in YOU really looks like. You'll also take note of how you feel emotionally.

One thing I would avoid doing on dates, is making the date meta. There is part of you that wants to know how to cold approach, how she gets approached, why she picked you, how the date is going, etc. Do not indulge yourself by asking her. Focus on the date, on having a good time.

WIA

Thanks for the advice WIA!
I'll keep that in mind and try to enjoy myself.
I'll try my best to design the date

Hmm, I understand where you are coming from with your question. As with every skill, as you learn, you will have ups and downs and dips to different levels than you are at. Experience is king.
So... if you hit it off with a girl in a party and she wanted to give you a BJ, would you say "nah, I'm good" because you cannot get dates consistently? Maybe you'd finish too fast, and you can do something with PE then. Rather than finally get it on with the girl you really really like and lasting 10 seconds

Hilarious man!
There' s no way I can disagree with this huh... :)
Thanks for following @Michal !
 
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