Should I only approach beautiful women? Or normal looking women too?

[Ryan]

As someone who lives in the UK, I have to accept that i just won't come into contact with too many beautiful girls unfortunately!

On a bus, there will be 10 girls. 6 of them would be terrible looking, who i wouldn't want to approach. And the rest of them would be slightly above average, with maybe one beauty there sometimes (and she would probably be foreign-born).

So, if i just try to approach beautiful girls (as i have been doing for the past few months), then my approaches are limited to a couple approaches a day. Though if i also approach women who are reasonably cute (girls i'll have sex with, but nothing more), i'm sure i could probably approach a dozen or more girls in one day, and my experience could increase exponentially.

However, these girls who are reasonably cute don't really have any defining features 99% of the time. Their eyes are average. Their skin is average. Their hair is average and their body is average.
What makes girls cute in England is that they are not ugly and they don't have an obvious flaw. So when i can say 'hey, you're cute'. I can't explain why they're cute.
And in the big picture, they aren't really that cute. I just live in England.

So, what i'm trying to say is, how do you open direct or interact with said women? It doesn't feel right to say 'your eyes/hair are beautiful', when it just isn't. Nor does it feel right to say that they're cute, when in reality, they're just average girls surrounded by ugly women. i think sincerity and knowing the beauty of a woman is important, but with average girls, this is very hard.

What do you guys think? Should i just lie and go with it? When i do approach average girls, they often look a little bewildered, and they usually deny or not believe they are cute/attractive.

 

[Smurf]

Approach everyone.

At your experience level it's better to talk to everyone, because you gain more experience with more personality types. You increase just about every skill when you talk to more girls. The more you talk to, the better and more comfortable you'll be.

Jake.

 

[Doctor]

Urgh, I know the feeling Ryan!

I am from the UK too and, not joking, there is not a single 'hot' girl on my uni course, and only one 'cute' one and she is half Latino! I am sure it is affecting my grades! I am actually concentrating on the lecturers and learning things! Bad times!

But seriously, the UK isn't known for it's attractive population, I guess it is something we just have to get used to and keep approaching. But I do feel your pain; I can't count the amount of times I have gone to the local mall and found it full of salad dodgers wearing semi-opaque leggings which are two sizes too small, showing the final struggle of their £3 Primark thong as it is being unceremoniously devoured by their giant wobbly butt crack! Yeah, next!

Gets depressing sometimes but I guess we should comfort ourselves with the fact that it makes the beautiful girls much easier to spot, as they stand out a mile off!

Anyway, even if 95% of all British women are mingers that still leaves 1.58 million beauties, which should be enough for both of us!

Although some tips from any British guys as to where they all hang out would be nice...

 

[Grand Pooba]

Approach everyone.

At your experience level it's better to talk to everyone, because you gain more experience with more personality types. You increase just about every skill when you talk to more girls. The more you talk to, the better and more comfortable you'll be.

Jake.

I second this. Talk to everyone and eventually you won't be flustered or phased by the beauties, who are just normal people at the end of the day.

 

[Ryan]

I don't think i was clear enough. I asked another question asking how I should approach normal women, which is more complicated than approaching beautiful women:

how do you open direct or interact with said women? It doesn't feel right to say 'your eyes/hair are beautiful', when it just isn't. Nor does it feel right to say that they're cute, when in reality, they're just average girls surrounded by ugly women. i think sincerity and knowing the beauty of a woman is important, but with average girls, this is very hard.

What do you guys think? Should i just lie and go with it? When i do approach average girls, they often look a little bewildered, and they usually deny or not believe they are cute/attractive.

 

[Ryan]

Urgh, I know the feeling Ryan!

I am from the UK too and, not joking, there is not a single 'hot' girl on my uni course, and only one 'cute' one and she is half Latino! I am sure it is affecting my grades! I am actually concentrating on the lecturers and learning things! Bad times!

But seriously, the UK isn't known for it's attractive population, I guess it is something we just have to get used to and keep approaching. But I do feel your pain; I can't count the amount of times I have gone to the local mall and found it full of salad dodgers wearing semi-opaque leggings which are two sizes too small, showing the final struggle of their £3 Primark thong as it is being unceremoniously devoured by their giant wobbly butt crack! Yeah, next!

Gets depressing sometimes but I guess we should comfort ourselves with the fact that it makes the beautiful girls much easier to spot, as they stand out a mile off!

Anyway, even if 95% of all British women are mingers that still leaves 1.58 million beauties, which should be enough for both of us!

Although some tips from any British guys as to where they all hang out would be nice...

It's good to know someone shares my experience.

It's annoying to read all these articles from Chase about the importance of selecting the most beautiful and approachable girl, screening them for things you may not like, and using preselection by talking to pretty women while you have an eye on another one.

Here in England, you just have to go after that one woman in a thousand who doesn't look like a farmyard animal and hope for the best. No use dicking about with preselection or screening if she's the only pretty woman you have seen all day (i now live in a metropolis for goodness sake).

 

[Grand Pooba]

So, what i'm trying to say is, how do you open direct or interact with said women? It doesn't feel right to say 'your eyes/hair are beautiful', when it just isn't. Nor does it feel right to say that they're cute, when in reality, they're just average girls surrounded by ugly women. i think sincerity and knowing the beauty of a woman is important, but with average girls, this is very hard.

My two cents:

- Cater your compliment to the girl. This takes some practice. For example: If a girl has messy or unappealing hair then it's wrong to tell her that her hair is beautiful, because then the compliment isn't genuine and you could also come off as clueless or making fun of her (The exception here is if you point this out in a playful and friendly way that will make her laugh and elicit positive emotions). A good way to practice catering compliments is to walk around and just NOTICE women and what makes each of them DIFFERENT (yes, even average looking girls) and what kinds of effort they've put into making themselves stand out. Look at them for one or two seconds each and mentally point out something that makes her unique and then envision HOW you would tell that to her and what you would say. Remember that girls want to feel unique and they put TONS of effort into making themselves beautiful (if this wasn't the case, why would fashion exist?), which brings us to:
- Cater your compliment to something that she is in power of and in control of. These include hair/hairstyle, color of her lipstick and nailpolish (or if these are coordinated with her outfit), earrings, necklaces, bracelets, clothes and her style, her shoes, her figure, etc. These do not include things like her eyes, the shape of her nose, face, assets, or things she was born with (unless they are UNIQUE!!).** The reason for this is two fold: it demonstrates you are an observant man and notice her uniqueness, and second that you noticed the kind of effort she put into making herself beautiful, so thus your compliment is genuine and not something she was born with. It makes it clear that you're not just into her because she's a "type" i.e. Asian, blonde, white, black...whatever...but you noticed her because of HER.
- Stop rating women. When you start categorizing women by their looks you're subconsciously also placing yourself within the same ladder.

**I just had a thought...if you like a girl for the way she looks generically, I've had some positive feedback from vaguely saying "I noticed you...and I just HAD to say hello."

 

[metomeya]

Hey Ryan,

Sorry about your situation.

I know I can sometimes get depressed if I go somewhere that ends up having poor to no targets. And the opposite is true, too. Having 20-30 beautiful, young girls walk past me makes me happy to be alive!

First thing, is moving to America or some european country known for hot girls an option? If you answer is no, really think hard about it. At this current time in the world anything should be possible. It maybe risky, hard financially and maybe the hardest thing you've ever done, but that might be exactly what you need. You can make it your "Defining Moment" and/or "Scuttling Your Ships"
https://www.girlschase.com/content/risk-taking-and-your-defining-moment
https://www.girlschase.com/content/effort-aversion-or-why-you-dont-work-hard-and-get-laid

Ryan, I don't think you need the youtube video below as you seem to be making good progress, but for other people reading this post might find this helpful:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kyhXttVakk

I'm about to Scuttle my Ships pretty soon. Excited and nervous about it!

I agree with Jake D. You should open everyone for practice.

How should you?

I was in a somewhat similar situation years ago. Got a coach who would have me open every girl with "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen...blah blah"" I have HATED it, cause he would have me open ugly girls (he would only see them from behind and assume the face was just as nice which it often wasn't). One poor, ugly girl started shaking and told me her boyfriend was right around the corner and she ran off. I felt so bad for her. I told him I only wanted to hit on hot girls, but he said I had to warm up/practice on everyone (which was true back in the day).

Anyways, because of school, work, or whatnot, I would have to take a break from pickup for months. I found getting back in hard, especially hitting on hot girls. Dam I guess I had to hit on ugly girls to get back into it! However, the solution was easy. Just have non-sexual conversations with everyone. I see really only three options 1.) Ask for directions (best way to stop moving targets) 2.) Situational like "great weather today uh?" "man these drinks look really cool" (best where you are both sitting/standing in the same location) 3.) Just ask them how are things today. They will probably say "fine" "good" or whatever. The conversation could end there but just follow up with the situation. For example: Bus - "Headed somewhere special?" "Headed to the local college?", Bar - "Got big plans tonight?" "Going to another bar/club tonight?"

And! If things go good, you like the person, and you are new, follow up with a, "Hey I'm new here let me get your number so we can hang out sometime!"

Thats it!

They are non-sexual openers so you don't have to feel awkward/hesitate to use them on ugly girls, but still warmup/practice.

Honestly, this is all I use for openers! Why? Cause I can get them to turn theirs heads/get close enough to really judge their beauty, personality, & voice before I open for real! I can always make the next sentence direct/sexual.

Finally, I never comment on their beauty/looks (it gives them too much of the upper hand and they know it!). You can still be direct and say you are very attracted to them and wanted to know if they are single. If they ask what you find attractive just say "I don't know, I just couldn't stop myself from coming over and talking to you." Gives them some power but not enough to hold over your head.

 

[Doctor]

Just wanted to say thanks for the advice here, I am following this thread with great interest.

First thing, is moving to America or some european country known for hot girls an option? If you answer is no, really think hard about it. At this current time in the world anything should be possible. It maybe risky, hard financially and maybe the hardest thing you've ever done, but that might be exactly what you need. You can make it your "Defining Moment" and/or "Scuttling Your Ships"
https://www.girlschase.com/content/risk-taking-and-your-defining-moment
https://www.girlschase.com/content/effort-aversion-or-why-you-dont-work-hard-and-get-laid

Ryan, I don't think you need the youtube video below as you seem to be making good progress, but for other people reading this post might find this helpful:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kyhXttVakk

I'm about to Scuttle my Ships pretty soon. Excited and nervous about it!

Funny thing is this is exactly my plan! I am just waiting a couple more years while I complete my degree then I am gone! Thankfully, one good thing about the UK is that NHS medical degrees are highly sought after worldwide, so the world should literally be my oyster, I can't wait!

For now though I will use the advice here, chatting to girls non-sexually certainly seems like a great way to get the ball rolling on a slow day, which is almost every day over here!

Thanks again
-Doctor

 

[Ryan]

Just wanted to say thanks for the advice here, I am following this thread with great interest.

First thing, is moving to America or some european country known for hot girls an option? If you answer is no, really think hard about it. At this current time in the world anything should be possible. It maybe risky, hard financially and maybe the hardest thing you've ever done, but that might be exactly what you need. You can make it your "Defining Moment" and/or "Scuttling Your Ships"
https://www.girlschase.com/content/risk-taking-and-your-defining-moment
https://www.girlschase.com/content/effort-aversion-or-why-you-dont-work-hard-and-get-laid

Ryan, I don't think you need the youtube video below as you seem to be making good progress, but for other people reading this post might find this helpful:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kyhXttVakk

I'm about to Scuttle my Ships pretty soon. Excited and nervous about it!

Funny thing is this is exactly my plan! I am just waiting a couple more years while I complete my degree then I am gone! Thankfully, one good thing about the UK is that NHS medical degrees are highly sought after worldwide, so the world should literally be my oyster, I can't wait!

For now though I will use the advice here, chatting to girls non-sexually certainly seems like a great way to get the ball rolling on a slow day, which is almost every day over here!

Thanks again
-Doctor

Odd that, that's my plan too. I'm doing a few relevant accounting and business qualifications here and there, and practising on my Chinese everyday to get a move to China. Amazing place, and full of beautiful women. Though if you don't know Chinese fluently outside Beijing/Shanghai, then you're fucked.
That said, you need to be a real man to get a Chinese girl. The gender inequality means several men will be chasing one pretty girl at a time, and Chinese girls will pull every trick in the book to get you chasing them too. Definitely the most challenging women in the world, but that's why i like them so much. Don't really like other Asian women apart from Persian girls who are just the same (i am Persian though).

Thanks for your answers Metomeya and Ozzo, much appreciated.

 

[lux7]

Hey Ryan,

Sorry about your situation.

I know I can sometimes get depressed if I go somewhere that ends up having poor to no targets. And the opposite is true, too. Having 20-30 beautiful, young girls walk past me makes me happy to be alive!

It pisses me off too as it's too many and I don't know what to do

I've heard mixed things about the Chinese girls, I personally don't find them particularly attractive (Viets much much better) but in smaller cities in China you'll often be treated as a celebrity if you're foreigner/European and that'll make it easier and not more difficult.

 

[metomeya]

@lucifer7 - I think the problem is here in the US, we have ton of hot asian girls. There are probably plenty of attractive asian girls in all asian countries, but there are plenty of more unattractive girls in that country (as with any country). I think in general, more attractive people have more resources (just how height can play a role in getting a promotion at a corporation), thus the people who travel aboard or move to another country tend to be better looking (on average) than people who can't afford to move from that country. Thus people who can afford to relocate (like to the US) will tend to be better looking than a lot other people in their country. But thats just a theory of mine.

@Ryan - I remember you've been to China before haven't you? It made me remember this youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ky6vgQfU24
I've thought about traveling that way. Some of my happiest moments was driving coast to coast. I just love seeing new sights.

My three biggest passions are (in no particular order):
1.) Travel
2.) Women
3.) Kids

I could possibly combine the first two (it would be hard financially), but I don't know how to throw in the last one.

Just some random thoughts.

 

[lux7]

@lucifer7 - I think the problem is here in the US, we have ton of hot asian girls. There are probably plenty of attractive asian girls in all asian countries, but there are plenty of more unattractive girls in that country (as with any country). I think in general, more attractive people have more resources (just how height can play a role in getting a promotion at a corporation), thus the people who travel aboard or move to another country tend to be better looking (on average) than people who can't afford to move from that country. Thus people who can afford to relocate (like to the US) will tend to be better looking than a lot other people in their country. But thats just a theory of mine.

@Ryan - I remember you've been to China before haven't you? It made me remember this youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ky6vgQfU24
I've thought about traveling that way. Some of my happiest moments was driving coast to coast. I just love seeing new sights.

My three biggest passions are (in no particular order):
1.) Travel
2.) Women
3.) Kids

I could possibly combine the first two (it would be hard financially), but I don't know how to throw in the last one.

Just some random thoughts.

I agree with you, there's definitely a tendency, that's to be seen how strong though.
Also the effect is strongly blunted for people who have been living in a country by generations and have not recently moved, so I would say you do can judge from the sample size you have abroad (by now I can recognize and guess most of the times exactly who's viet )

 

[Marty]

Here in England, you just have to go after that one woman in a thousand who doesn't look like a farmyard animal and hope for the best.

Okay, you can stop with this already. I know that England may not have quite the quantity of cute chicks (in terms of prevalence among the general population) that you might find in, say, Poland, Croatia or the Baltic states, but the prettiest ones can compete with anything the rest of the world has to offer. Just think of the actresses: Kate Beckinsale, Rosamund Pike, Michelle Dockery to name but a few. On the "excuses for not approaching" list this has to be amongst the worst.

For what it's worth, my rule is as follows. I'll approach a girl if I find her sexually arousing, even if she's not classically "pretty". In fact, the ones that have high sex appeal without actually being beautiful are kinda easier to approach from an anxiety-dispelling perspective when you're relatively new to the game. It forces you into sexual mode which is a good thing. I would never, never open a girl that I find either neutral or actually repellent. If in doubt, just imagine you found yourself involuntarily pressed up against her in a confined space (like a phone booth) for, say, 5 minutes... would you start getting aroused, or would you be longing to get outta there? If the former, jump right in

 

[Ryan]

Here in England, you just have to go after that one woman in a thousand who doesn't look like a farmyard animal and hope for the best.

Okay, you can stop with this already. I know that England may not have quite the quantity of cute chicks (in terms of prevalence among the general population) that you might find in, say, Poland, Croatia or the Baltic states, but the prettiest ones can compete with anything the rest of the world has to offer. Just think of the actresses: Kate Beckinsale, Rosamund Pike, Michelle Dockery to name but a few. On the "excuses for not approaching" list this has to be amongst the worst.

For what it's worth, my rule is as follows. I'll approach a girl if I find her sexually arousing, even if she's not classically "pretty". In fact, the ones that have high sex appeal without actually being beautiful are kinda easier to approach from an anxiety-dispelling perspective when you're relatively new to the game. It forces you into sexual mode which is a good thing. I would never, never open a girl that I find either neutral or actually repellent. If in doubt, just imagine you found yourself involuntarily pressed up against her in a confined space (like a phone booth) for, say, 5 minutes... would you start getting aroused, or would you be longing to get outta there? If the former, jump right in

Nice idea with the small enclosure mindset, I'll try that out next time I go out.

I didn't say that pretty english women weren't as pretty as pretty women from other nationalities (pretty english women can be gorgeous), but I did say that such women are very hard to find. In Italy, 1 out of 2 girls will be pretty. In China, it'll be 1 in 4 girls, in USA it'll be 1 in 6 (rough estimates from experience), but in England, it honestly is 1 in 100. I have nothing against english girls, but it's just the way things are.

 

[Ryan]

@lucifer7 - I think the problem is here in the US, we have ton of hot asian girls. There are probably plenty of attractive asian girls in all asian countries, but there are plenty of more unattractive girls in that country (as with any country). I think in general, more attractive people have more resources (just how height can play a role in getting a promotion at a corporation), thus the people who travel aboard or move to another country tend to be better looking (on average) than people who can't afford to move from that country. Thus people who can afford to relocate (like to the US) will tend to be better looking than a lot other people in their country. But thats just a theory of mine.

@Ryan - I remember you've been to China before haven't you? It made me remember this youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ky6vgQfU24
I've thought about traveling that way. Some of my happiest moments was driving coast to coast. I just love seeing new sights.

My three biggest passions are (in no particular order):
1.) Travel
2.) Women
3.) Kids

I could possibly combine the first two (it would be hard financially), but I don't know how to throw in the last one.

Just some random thoughts.

Wow, great video. Actually, those are my 3 passions too. Funny that.