DakenMarquis

Space Monkey
space monkey
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66
@Mr Mistah gonna follow up w my 2 c. Context matters, awww thanks in my case is reacting to our makeout and at least our mutually enjoyable time, and her intial mutual interest. She saw me as high value and may continue to, despite this hiccup. But I know reactions mean nothing, compliance is everything, even kisses or lays may mean nothing as far as a deeper desire/connection go.

I usually don't have problems comforting girls as far as escalation is concerned, may help w attainability( which is likely my main sticking point, and if I tweak it I can get different types of women, but is no where near the kind of consistency as I want with the lover frame.. ofc every girl is different.) To add: my lay count is likely over 90/100, I stopped counting around 70 ish mark
 

Mr Mistah

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54
Yeah I honestly didnt see her aww thanks as a bad thing in your context

But I agree that aww thanks can be contextual and dependent on your attainability

That makes sense
 

Chase

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@Mr Mistah,

Quick one @Chase

Is "Aww thanks" a bad thing to hear from a girl?

Is there room for thoughtfullness during seduction or is that un lover like?

Asking bc I've gotten a few of those in the past

Mostly from me offering genuine compliments to the girl

Or reassuring them when they're beating themselves up about some insecurity of theirs e.g Some girl whose family is always shaming her about her weight. Told her she's okay and shouldnt pay much mind to naysayers

I can instinctively tell that reassuring chicks is not lover esque but I just want to see where the line is drawn

When your instincts tell you something, it is always good to listen.

I can't think of a time I heard "aww thanks" from a girl and a good dynamic followed from that.

For comparison: think of the sexiest male actor or role model you can. Now imagine a scenario where he is talking to a girl and she goes, "Awww, thanks!" Can you imagine that? I bet it's hard or impossible. Next imagine a nice guy actor in a scenario where a girl is telling him "Awww, thanks!" You can probably imagine that pretty easily.

Genuine compliments you usually don't even want to give her time to react. Just compliment her and keep moving. If it's the opener, compliment and give her your name. If it's later on, compliment her almost in an off-hand way, then change the subject. Mainly you are avoiding women thanking you.

"Thanks" is what you say to someone after he has done something for you. When the barista hands you your coffee, you say "thanks." When your assistant emails you the files you requested, you say "thanks." When your friend agrees to change the time he'll meet you because you're running late, you say "thanks." Thanks is acknowledgement of someone's investment in you.

You need to invest a certain amount into girls who are also investing in you. You don't generally get emotionally thanked when she is more invested in you than you are in her, because she's still more invested in you. If you have her move with you, turn around for you so you can look at her dress, then show you her hand so you can see her ring, then tell her she has a beautiful ring, she might give you a cursory "thanks" but she is not going to tell you "Thank you SO much!" or "Aww, thank you!" because she is not trying to make up for an investment deficit with emotional investment.

That's the best way to view emotional thank yous: as attempts to allay some of the pressure that comes from an investment deficit.

If I just slather you with compliments and favors and you haven't done anything for me, it's going to start to feel awkward, and you will start to try to alleviate some of that with effusive thanks. "Hey man, Chase, thank you so much, this is really so kind of you. Thanks brother, this is super generous. I really appreciate this, thanks so much." Basically you feel indebted to me for doing so much for you... but you don't want to feel indebted... so you try to inject some emotion in to even out the investment scales.

(at the same time, you are also subtly telling me I'd better knock this off, because I'm investing too much and you don't want to feel pressured to have to reciprocate)

Side note... if a girl tells you her family is always shaming her about her weight, she is almost certainly fishing for compliments/reassurance.

The right call is to bust on her in an absurd way.

e.g.:

HER: My family is always telling me I'm too skinny and that I need to put more meat on my bones. I'm so tired of it.​
YOU: Your family is completely right. Personally, I refuse to date women under 300 lbs.​
HER: [laughs]​


@DakenMarquis,

@Mr Mistah gonna follow up w my 2 c. Context matters, awww thanks in my case is reacting to our makeout and at least our mutually enjoyable time, and her intial mutual interest. She saw me as high value and may continue to, despite this hiccup. But I know reactions mean nothing, compliance is everything, even kisses or lays may mean nothing as far as a deeper desire/connection go.

I usually don't have problems comforting girls as far as escalation is concerned, may help w attainability( which is likely my main sticking point, and if I tweak it I can get different types of women, but is no where near the kind of consistency as I want with the lover frame.. ofc every girl is different.) To add: my lay count is likely over 90/100, I stopped counting around 70 ish mark

The "aww thanks" in this case wasn't a good sign.

But it may be the case you're smooth in person and text game is rougher. I've known plenty of guys who are very smooth with girls in person but just okay texting. Or this may just have been a misread of the girl / situation (e.g., you thought she was more "ready to go" than she was). It happens...

Chase
 

DakenMarquis

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
66
@Chase I believe I've become smoother with time, especially with the content here and other related seduction/game info available elsewhere (I've been on/off in the game since 2013. I've changed my looks a lot, matured a lot, really adapted not just for women ofc). I try to make things look effortless and most of the time they do. Ofc my current state will impact how I come across and I believe I lean towards being a natural but need to learn to be more technical as well, and that's perhaps where the problem may be. Additionally, every girl is going to react differently based on her experiences, desires, place in life, preferences etc.

So yeah I can agree that my read was off following the first date, where she asked me if I saw a future, I stated I dont know what the future holds but we're here in this moment just us and to enjoy it.." Then continued rapport/some escalation until the vibe naturally started to diffuse, at which point I let things be, as it was getting late, and we had only my car around us, which could've made it more difficult for her to rationalize the escalation, not sure.

Following the date, the msgs we did share seemed to be of a similar dynamic as before, but I could feel more of a heightened desire to "close on my end." Ofc its possible that she may have felt the same or no differently than before considering some escalation occurred, so the seemingly abrupt reaction was either a misread, her trying for more investment(girl game via rejection to create more desire to pursue), or non interest. Given we hung out before and it was more of a social circle vibe, Im hoping its salvageable. I did reach out and say "think we may have a misunderstanding here hun" which might be weak but attempts to turn the frame more casual and rapport neutral to diffuse any negative interpretations. Im still working on my technical ability to read the situation better instead of relying on my looks, presence, natural sexual vibe to close.

The technical skills, and attainability is where I believe I'm struggling. (I feel the technical stuff is stifling to connection and escalation since it becomes too "heady" for me at least, and I have a hard time keeping the vibe. I'm good at sex, endowed (not to brag), and have dates enjoying their time/climaxing etc), so its possible that my issue is mid game/ability to read and lead the situation over bumps or perhaps just this woman's personal feelings and not necessarily my game. Hard to tell lol I'm doing what I can without overthinking it, and went on other date this past week that I closed. So I'm getting action, but just curious what I could do here, to actually improve and get this girl bc she didn't respond how I thought, which makes me wonder if its me or her.

Trying to get better at this skillset especially with more attractive women, and close consistently.

~Daken
 

Chase

Chieftan
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Joined
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Messages
5,650
@DakenMarquis,

Okay, interesting. The additional details help.

Well, if she’s asking for a relationship, and you tell her “no / I don’t know”, then talk about wanting to meet up again to kiss her, you’re going to give her player vibes.

“Well, I dunno about a relationship, but how about let’s make out, because you have really nice lips. I will teach you some make-out skills” — this can work if she is just really down for whatever and very curious… you will see this with some girls. Mostly young girls that aren’t that experienced. “He’s not offering a relationship? But he is offering kissing training? Okay, well I guess that’s still interesting… I could try it!”

The rest of the time though you’ll give player vibes. At the same time, it’s going to be “chase-y player” vibes… “This guy’s a playboy who doesn’t want to give me a relationship but he’s chasing me for make-outs and almost certainly sex.”

Given that she seems to be probing for a relationship, the best way to salvage is probably going to be getting her more involved in your life. e.g., sending her some shirts you are looking at buying: “What do you think of these two shirts? Trying to decide which one is more ‘me’. Got an opinion?”

Use some audio or video messages that rebuild some of the sense of connection she had with you and get you away from the player vibes.

If she’s still distant after that, set something up with her social circle-wise where there are other people around. She’ll probably come out for that. Then while there just re-seduce her.

btw, next time a girl asks you about the future: “I don’t know… I’m always so caught up in what I’m doing right now. What kind of future do YOU see?” Then whatever she says just “Hmm!” and nod your head.

Chase
 

Mr Mistah

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 13, 2022
Messages
54
For comparison: think of the sexiest male actor or role model you can. Now imagine a scenario where he is talking to a girl and she goes, "Awww, thanks!" Can you imagine that? I bet it's hard or impossible. Next imagine a nice guy actor in a scenario where a girl is telling him "Awww, thanks!" You can probably imagine that pretty easily.
Believe it or not but I've had this exact thought before.

That's what made me instinctively feel like Aww thanks is not sth that's said to lovers

But then again last time I tried modelling myself against the James Bonds of this world I ended up with a stiff, too cool for school vibe.

I basically started giving girls more genuine compliments, where I’d sometimes get those “Aww thankyou” responses, as a way of shedding off that practised, too cool for school veneer.

I think I learnt this from one of Hector's videos.

He seems to take liberties with his compliments yet his attraction doesnt take a hit.

From my understanding i.e


(Btw as I think about it now "I want your sweet lips" is sth I imagine Hector would get away with saying
Why is that? Is there a hidden play somewhere that we might not be seeing?)
Genuine compliments you usually don't even want to give her time to react. Just compliment her and keep moving. If it's the opener, compliment and give her your name. If it's later on, compliment her almost in an off-hand way, then change the subject. Mainly you are avoiding women thanking you.
Okay Keep things in motion after giving compliment

Like a drive-by shooting but for compliments.

Got it
You need to invest a certain amount into girls who are also investing in you. You don't generally get emotionally thanked when she is more invested in you than you are in her, because she's still more invested in you.
Yes. I understand the dynamic you are referring to re; investment

For context...

This aww thankyou response came from a girl who would initiate texts with me 98% of the time

She was always last to text too i.e I finished most conversations

I liked her but I noticed that she didn't have very high self esteem

Was kind of big/bbw (but pretty in the face)

So when she opened up to me about how she doesn’t like being around her family all that much because they usually tell her she’s needs to lose some kilos or she’ll never get a man, last thing on my mind is riffing on her

I mean that would wreck her self esteem no?

I’ve had a couple of foot in mouth situations in the past from being rather uncalibrated and unintentionally insulting

So these days I lean on the side of safety and avoid dicy topics like a womans body/weight/looks etc which is why I just ended up reassuring her that I think she looks okay etc

She had a couple of other similar woe is me tales due to not very high self esteem where I chose to reassure rather than give asshole response due to attainability issues.

Not sure if my read was the right one there

Maybe I erred side of caution too much
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,650
@Mr. Mistah,

Believe it or not but I've had this exact thought before.

That's what made me instinctively feel like Aww thanks is not sth that's said to lovers

But then again last time I tried modelling myself against the James Bonds of this world I ended up with a stiff, too cool for school vibe.

I basically started giving girls more genuine compliments, where I’d sometimes get those “Aww thankyou” responses, as a way of shedding off that practised, too cool for school veneer.

I think I learnt this from one of Hector's videos.

He seems to take liberties with his compliments yet his attraction doesnt take a hit.

From my understanding i.e


(Btw as I think about it now "I want your sweet lips" is sth I imagine Hector would get away with saying
Why is that? Is there a hidden play somewhere that we might not be seeing?)

See this article:


For context...

This aww thankyou response came from a girl who would initiate texts with me 98% of the time

She was always last to text too i.e I finished most conversations

I liked her but I noticed that she didn't have very high self esteem

Was kind of big/bbw (but pretty in the face)

So when she opened up to me about how she doesn’t like being around her family all that much because they usually tell her she’s needs to lose some kilos or she’ll never get a man, last thing on my mind is riffing on her

I mean that would wreck her self esteem no?

I’ve had a couple of foot in mouth situations in the past from being rather uncalibrated and unintentionally insulting

So these days I lean on the side of safety and avoid dicy topics like a womans body/weight/looks etc which is why I just ended up reassuring her that I think she looks okay etc

She had a couple of other similar woe is me tales due to not very high self esteem where I chose to reassure rather than give asshole response due to attainability issues.

Not sure if my read was the right one there

Maybe I erred side of caution too much

Well if she's a fat girl who's low self-esteem then no, you probably shouldn't be busting on her, unless you're of similar SMV, then maybe? Or maybe you just can't ever bust on fat girls?

I can't bust on fat girls about weight but I can't really bust on them about anything... I am already low attainability with every fat girl and anything I say that is anything other than completely sincere sends them into auto-rejection.

Still, complimenting a girl on an insecurity of hers is dicey. Only do it if you can really, genuinely frame that insecurity as actually a good thing. e.g., like I like hot-tempered chicks, and if a hot-tempered chick is feeling down because she blew up at someone and made a mess with drama, I might tell her, "Well look on the bright side, you also get to have a much more fun personality!" but it's literally true and I literally mean it. Hot-tempered girls are hilarious (except when their temper is directed at you, in which case it is annoying).

Maybe you're into BBWs and you like 'em plump... even then you probably need to be careful if she's LSE and that's an insecurity of hers.

The best way to deal dicey insecurities is just commiseration rather than reassurance:

HER: My family was telling me I need to stop eating cookies and run on the treadmill again. They said I'll never get a man if I don't.
YOU: Yeah, they're on you a lot, huh. It's tough.​

btw, if she's doing the whole, "My family says I'll NEVER get a man because I'm just too colossal!" thing, that's just her fishing for reassurance from you anyway. "Baby, you are sexy just the way you are," is just following her frame.

When girls fish for compliments/reassurance, you either need to tease them (though, again, be careful with LSE girls... and particularly LSE fatties) or just commiserate instead.

Chase
 
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