Should I ?

[ac1000]

Basically, yesterday I was on a date with a girl that I meet on Tinder. It was our first date. Nerdie, stunning, intelligent with good taste.

We were meeting out, go to a pub for a coffee for 30-40 minutes,she said that she has to be home in 2 hours to continue her project for college,then I decided to take a walk ( she payed everything because she lost a bet with me, I was "haha, you kidding", she continued with that I said " ok " ) .

She said that she know a place where we can see the whole town, I was " ok " . After the walk ( where we was phisically close, holding hands sometimes, sometimes playing with my beard on her neck, having a good time ), prettt random I get close to her, kiss her, after I get back, she kissed to me.

We said that to end up the date ( I don't tell her to came at my place because she was telling me that is busy and I didn't want to put her in the position to flake up on me ), kiss her again, she going for the bus and I took another bus to go home.

After 3-4 hours I texted her on facebook " It was nice to spend time with you,coffee, the walk. I hope that you figured it out that thing with your project "
She replied " I just finished. It was an interesting night "
I said " you think ? Let's talk about this tomorrow. Give me a call after you finish with the college(classes) "
SHE DIDN T SEEN MY MESSAGE AFTER 12 HOURS (she being actively on facebook) NO CALL, NOT A REPLY, NOTHING]


What should I do, call her? Give her some time ? Or just forget about that ?


P.S : Sorry for my bad english, and I hope that I posted in the right section.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

She wanted to fuck. "I know a place where we can see the whole city" is pretty much "we should fuck in public." Was it a place where you two could have had sex? Was it late at night?

You don't always have to sleep with a girl on the first date, but if she is throwing up weak barriers like "I'm busy," it's usually to see if you'll push past them. I'd have to be there to know for sure but obviously you did something wrong.

Also, if you don't sleep with a girl, it's generally not good to send her a lovey, romantic text afterwards. You didn't get what you really wanted, so why be so in love with her?

Oh and telling a girl to call you (i.e, asking for compliance) isn't good form unless she's very invested. Given her boring reply, she was not very invested and she seems quite disappointed in what happened.

Sex > A Project

It's frustrating isn't it? A girl tells us no and we understand and stop, but women want us to be passionate lovers. Obviously be respectful but the line between respectful and weak are often blurred.

I'd say this is probably done, but you can try something a bit...over the top. I don't think being "chill" and waiting this one out is going to change anything (it rarely does, in all honesty, despite it looking cool and seeming non-needy).

Well, okay, something less over the top would be to call but I think this girl is pretty far into auto-rejection, just a hunch. Call her and have a conversation with her (don't ask her out)and then ask her out a few days later.

Otherwise, I would try something a bit romantic. I'd send her a text likeeee

"(Name), I thought about the other night and I smiled. I'd love to spend another amazing night with you, if you would. Let's have a picnic in the park (insert day). If not and you've lost interest, no hard feelings, we move on. But I'd be delighted if you would."

Not all would agree with this approach, but it's worked for me on occasion and since I think her issue is attainability (she's disappointed you didn't take her and a lame text afterwards is no substitute for genuine, physical passion).

OR, she thinks you're an overly-romantic sod given her nerdie-nature (she's highly logical) and this will make you look like a pussy. Honestly I'd need more information on the date, what she said, etc.

So here's your options.

1. Send her my romantic text (I'd wait a day or two before you send it)

2. Wait a week then send her a more stoic, emotionless text, like "hey, let's have a picnic in the park this week. you free?"

3. Drop it and move on

Hector

P.S. You want to put these threads in the "Field Report" section

 

[ac1000]

Yeah, she was throwing up barriers " I'm bussy ", " I have to go" , " It's late" and it was little hard to get her on a date in the first place, honestly I think that I was weak into "building rapport " and invested.

Before to go on our ways, I said to her that we can take a cab, to drive us home ( me first, because I'm near to center, then drop her to college ), she disagree, so I figured it out that she didn't want to spend more time with me ( or having sex ).

I didn't know about that thing about compliance. What I should have written to her in this case ?


EDIT: She just texted me .
I don't think that a call is nececesary. It was nice to meet you, but I think that we should stop here.. I hope you won't be upset.


So let me ask you guys, where I was wrong and what should I do know ? ( I will get over, but I want to improve myself )

 

[BrandonCodi]

Man you were too beta. You should have never texted her "it was fun with you today blah blah". I'm assuming you ruined it when you were with her, but that text makes you look even worse. Being overly nice to girls isn't going to win them over despite what your mother tells you. You didn't pick up on it when she said "I can show you the whole town" or whatever it was she said. Learn from that. Now you know it means she's into you and wants to take things further.

The reason she stopped replying to you is because you came across like you wanted to be in a relationship or something and you don't have much experience with women. The fact that you didn't have sex with her showed that you were a nice guy and clearly all she wanted was to have some fun. She thinks of you now as a sweet and genuine guy who wants a relationship and that is not what she's looking for. She doesn't feel the same way so to avoid trouble, she is cutting you off early.

I still don't know this situation very well because you have not given us very much information, but learn from the mistakes you've made and remember them for the next girl. Failure isn't getting knocked down, it's staying down.

Cheers brother

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

99% chance this is done, but send a romantic text I suggested, but this time acknowledging her text.

"The only reason I'd be upset is if we lost something good before we even realized it was a great connection. If I really rubbed you the wrong way, then, hey, we go our separate ways; no hard feelings. But I'd love to take you on a picnic this week. Wine, cheese, fun, the whole shebang."

Who knows? It might work. I've seen crazier things.

Brandon's advice is good.

You should check out our Instagram @whatshereallymeant

Send screenshots of texts there and I'll give you more advice. You gotta learn texting; it's a skill even the best guys lack.

Hector

 

[ac1000]

Cheers guys, you're awesome