Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of naturals?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Before I start, I want to say that I have read the article by Chase on PUA vs Natural many times. Say you have 2 guys.

Guy 1 is a natural, was good looking in high school and had the social skills to get the hottest girls. In college he rushed the top fraternity and had lots of sex. He has had sex with 50 girls his entire life by the time graduation has come.

Guy 2 is not a natural, had your typical shitty childhood. He was geeky in high school and had terrible parents. His social skills were terrible and he left high school a virgin. In college he started to develop more social skills but was mostly left out because we all know your typical 4 yr university is terrible for guys who aren't in a fraternity or playing a sport. He has had sex with no girls and hardly even been on a date.

Here you have both guys at the age of 22. The natural who got dealt the best hand in life and the late bloomer who had everything bad happen to him. Here they are in the real world. The natural is the natural and late bloomer has a much better mindset than he did growing up, he has approached girls, he can make friends easily, and he is starting to grow into his looks.

With all that being said, do you think the late bloomer will ever catch up to the natural and have the same sex life the natural did back in college?

 

[metomeya]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

It all depends on your life style.

You can easily catch up and even past the natural from his college years. But you have to put yourself in the situation with lots of opportunity.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

Oh Pry,

I can see where you're going with this - but let's further say Guy 2 upgrades his skills enough to snag his dream girl - does it matter if he catches up to Guy 1?

There are other questions to ask, too - how fast is Guy 2 learning? What's his end goal in terms of seduction? Is skill building important to him?

I suppose you ask this question because you're afraid that, as a late bloomer, you won't experience what naturals are experiencing, or that you won't be as happy as them because their further success. If that were the case, I'd say that given enough time in upgrading your skills, you're still going to be catching you're dream girls...you're not missing out on anything .

~Nick

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

In case.

Late bloomer tend to last longer in any fields. I think it's because of the "matured" mentality. Basically you pretty much tight down in process and in the late age, you are somewhat prone to process.

There's a saying, "Form is temporary, Class is permanent".

I think it's down to Process and when you know how the process works, at an age where you taking things seriously (for various reasons, maybe you old or you missing out, like this one). IT makes a deadly combination.

Process and Age.

Zac

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

It all depends on your life style.

You can easily catch up and even past the natural from his college years. But you have to put yourself in the situation with lots of opportunity.

and how would I do that after college?

 

[metomeya]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

There are several ways. Depends on what you want (as in type of girls, type of relationships, etc.)

The biggest thing is to move to a city that has what you want. This could be Vegas, New York, LA, etc. The bigger is usually better for opportunity. Just make sure the culture is a match for you.

Choose a location (probably an apartment) that puts you right where the action is (next to a college, downtown, where all the clubs and bars are, where tourists go, etc.).

If moving to another city isn't possible, then try to relocate to a downtown or college where you live.

My old dorms were about 100 feet away from a bar that was on campus. Talk about a great situation.

Finally, try to get roommates that will help you meet with other people (especially women). Personally, I would try to get guys who also recently graduated so they have money to burn on the weekends. College roommates may bum money and rides from ya.

Those are just my thoughts. I'm sure you can come up with some other ways to create opportunity in your life.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

Well, I don't want serious relationships. I want random meaningless sex and a social circle of cool guys who I can daygame with and go out with.

This seriously depresses the shit out of me that I have missed out on a lot of the college experience. I wish I would have rushed a fraternity but I didn't know it was that important.

My worry is not really getting the sex but the validation and the self-fulfillment that a natural got growing up. Like I feel as an adult you don't enjoy rewards as much as you do as a teenager. This is so hard to explain too.

The guy who blossomed in high school and college had that sense of community, he had people tell him that he is the shit, and people validate him. My fear is not getting that same satisfaction, fulfillment, and validation that the natural had when he was scoring all those lays. Is it impossible to get that kind of feeling after college when you are no longer in a closed system?

 

[Inferno]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

Oh pry

What can you do?
Are you going to be shang sun?
And stay young by stealing souls ?
Your mental model is very broken.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

Oh Pry,

The guy who blossomed in high school and college had that sense of community, he had people tell him that he is the shit, and people validate him. My fear is not getting that same satisfaction, fulfillment, and validation that the natural had when he was scoring all those lays. Is it impossible to get that kind of feeling after college when you are no longer in a closed system?

IF you looking for satisfaction, fulfillment and validation that the natural had when he was in a closed system, then you got it all wrong.

Why? Because it's all illusion.

I was for a time, was one, who is like you, looking for love in all the wrong place. Don't believe me? I suggest you add me on Facebook, i show you the pictures i had. At that time, i was like you.

Knowing that i suck in high school, i needed a platform. I needed to make up for lack of success in high school. I needed success. I needed to feel validated, but i needed to serve National service, and it was 2 years. Long after i completed my conscription, i enter tertiary school. I needed the certificate, and hey, i also use this opportunity to feel validated right?

Guess what? When you looking for external things or certain group of people to validate you too much, you lost the fact that people come and go.

Zac

 

[Estate]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

These threads are full of so much bullshit, sorry to be so blunt but... well... not sorry.

Oh Pry,
What exactly do you want dude? If you're looking for validation that "you are an ordinary guy and ordinary guys get dealt shitty hands in life and have to just accept it" then you're on the wrong forum my friend... go join some feminists forum or some gamers (like, the xbox type) or some other crap.

Some of us have been around the block on this site and others, we've all had our own journeys, and some on here are just starting theirs. But what we all have in common is that we all will give a resounding "FUCK NO!" as the response to your title question.
Why? Because we have ALL been there... every single one of us. Because if we were all naturals with life being handed to us on a plate then we would never have a need to search out a site like this.

Really, how many of these silver spooners do you actually know? Like, you make it sound like 99% of guys in college just spend their life drinking, eating and fucking. Seriously? Do you know ANYONE like that? Where do you get these perceptions? Watching re-runs of Zack Morris on Saved By The Bell? It's not even real life... the stuff you're talking about!

Ok, lets hit home some points:
- Oh you had a shitty life... you're 22... Jesus H, you're life hasn't even begun yet.
- The guys you describe, are just not in existence in any abundance whatsoever, we're all just normal people.
- Accept that you CAN change or just whingy and whine until you're blue in the face and you never get aywhere.
- Stop making your whole fucking life about sex. Who gives a shit. You know what I thought about all the time when I wasn't getting sex...? Yes, you're right, it was sex. And guess what I realised when I started having regular sex? Umm... there's a whole lot more to life! And I was wasting it worrying about stupid girls.
- Oh you have to be in a frat to have sex? Wow, what kind of sex are we talking about here? Aren't frats just a bunch of guys? I was never in a frat, never hurt me.
- Only sports guys get laid? Oh really!??! WTF?!?! I have played more sports than I can even count at some point in my life, still do. Guess what is my reality...? Playing sports just fucks with your ability to actually meet women. You know all those Fri/Sat nights you could be out meeting hot women at bars? Well the sports guy is asleep at 10 because he has a race/game/whatever early the next morning. All those week nights where he could be day-gaming and applying all these cool PUA skills.... he's out training until he comes home and can think of nothing but hitting bed and certainly not hitting the town.
- What exactly is considered "late"? You're 22... like WTF?
- As a matter of fact, I guess I was a late bloomer by your standards... I've slept with 4 times as many women in the past 2 years as I have in the previous 27 years of my life before that. And you know what? Now that Ive done it... who cares, I don't even want to brag. I tell no-one this fact.
- What exactly constitutes "success"? I mean... is it going to college, blowing your money and scholarships partying? And then PEAKING at 22? Or is it doing what you need to do during various parts of your life to keep improving until the day you die.

- And my final point. And an important one. Guys... Especially young guys... they lie about sex... I mean, they lie about it alot. That guy who won't stop talking about how much he got laid on summer vacation or at some frat party? Guess what... he didn't get laid. I went through the exact same thing in my late teens/early twenties... guys telling me about all their hookups and how great they are... over time I learned it was BS. The louder someone talks about their sex life, chances are, the less sex they've actually had.

 

[metomeya]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

Well, I don't want serious relationships. I want random meaningless sex and a social circle of cool guys who I can daygame with and go out with.

This seriously depresses the shit out of me that I have missed out on a lot of the college experience. I wish I would have rushed a fraternity but I didn't know it was that important.

My worry is not really getting the sex but the validation and the self-fulfillment that a natural got growing up. Like I feel as an adult you don't enjoy rewards as much as you do as a teenager. This is so hard to explain too.

The guy who blossomed in high school and college had that sense of community, he had people tell him that he is the shit, and people validate him. My fear is not getting that same satisfaction, fulfillment, and validation that the natural had when he was scoring all those lays. Is it impossible to get that kind of feeling after college when you are no longer in a closed system?

Dude, life truly is what you make of it.

If you let society's systems dictate when you are suppose to be the happiest or most validated you'll never win.

It was those who didn't let it dictate their lives when they were in high school or college that were the happiness and most validated. They lived in the moment and believed in themselves.

You can do that same.

 

[Flames]

Re: Should late bloomers accept that they will never have the sex lives of natur

I was an incredibly late bloomer and still am from on a lot of points but I get way more sex than probably about 90% of the guys here. What does that prove really? Nothing.

I still work on myself every single day and will till the day I die. Wether your a 'natural' or not you still have to learn and self-improve or others will catch up and over take you sooner or later.

So the answer is a resounding no. This is what's called a self limiting belief, if you didn't already know that then you really need to look up that term and learn how how to recognise them.

The usual format is why can't i do X when I'm so Y or in your case why can't X do Y?