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Should one be platonic to girls in social circle?

Black

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 15, 2014
Messages
102
Basically, my same dilema of always, rephrased. . .

I'm back to business after some time off and it's the same thing. . .

My social circle building includes nights out drinking and clubbing (of course). . . and there's girls in the group (of course).

As the late-night unfolds I begin to gather: questions about whether I live alone, where I live, touching, flirting, testing, questions probing on how I pick up girls (do I? whoah!). . . It cannot all possibly be a coincidence, can it?

A) Girls I'm not attracted enough to be sure I want to go all the way:
I'm really really really good at missing escalation windows and letting attraction expire so that's not a problem. The problem is that, in many cases, this friend-zoning has not been a smooth landing - usually skidding into nothing-zone where the girl loses interest in me socially and affects the social circle in a negative way (from simply ignoring me to a few nutcases who began going out of their way to cockblock me, plot against me, etc. . .).

B) Girls I would really like to get together with:
Seems simple; particularly now that my logistic problems have been addressed.
What if the girl just wants to flirt? I go for the kiss or ask her to come over for a nightcap. . . and it bombs. Then what's with my reputation?

Ironically, I end up in these situations because it's usually the socially savvy girls that open up all these social circles to me - and they are not just central to that but, because of their communication style, I also end up very quickly building a connection with them. . . which kind of ends up causing everything.

So those experienced in sleeping in social circle. What do I do?
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

TheChased

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 18, 2015
Messages
65
There's actually a good series on social circle on GC, but I can't seem to find it. I don't remember the titles in it..

Anyways, never had the problem you have in A, so I don't want to address that.
In B, there was one trick that I liked from the series. Instead of asking her out or going for the kiss, simply try to hold her hand first. If she rejects it, your reputation wont take a hit, and if she complies to the hand holding. Well.. you're good to go! Ask her out ;)

Also mentioned in the the series: You should flirt with every girl in the social group. That way it won't come off as weird when you flirt with the ones you actually like, you will be seen as a sexual man and maybe it would help with your problem in A. You could test it out.

Really wish I found that series for you tho, as it cleared up some stuff for me. Hope somebody else can find it for you. I remember it was a guest who wrote these, but not his name.

Cheers
-TC
 
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