Should you say you’ve been learning pickup?

[Patato Tomato]

Should you say you’ve been reading and watching dating/relationship advice if you’re being asked how you went so fast from not approaching girls and barely having had women in your life, to suddenly being a smooth seducer and knowing many women, or to suddenly being good at managing a relationship when you never had a real relationship before?

Or would that come off as if you’ve been learning manipulation?

I feel like, whenever I would (re)act in a certain way, I could get a response that goes like “So, you learned that from your dating advice?”

Maybe just say “Yeah I’ve learned how important it is to flirt and to push things forward instead of waiting”, and then keep it at that? The truth is, I’ve checked TONS of dating advice.

Should you just say “Nope, didn’t look up dating advice”?

How do dating guru’s handle saying what they do for a living? They gotta be specific at some point in the dating process and I’m sure that would put the women’s defenses on.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

Don't Talk About Pickup to Other People

You should not talk about game with most people. It might be tempting to (especially when it's a major point of interest of yours)… but mum's the word. This is a sort of public service announcement, mostly for new guys, but really also for any guy who gets a little 'game obsessed' and starts to...

www.google.com

Why Not to Talk About Game with Women

Lots of guys talk about game with girls. But how does this affect your relationships with them? And is it worthwhile to do? I’ve noticed a difference over the years between my natural friends and my pick up artist friends. Well, more than one difference, but this one is the topic of this...

www.google.com

Bet those will help...

Chad Tyrone

 

[Chad Tyrone]

Again not many people would like that u learned game or picking up chicks.

Most will judge you ,others are opinionated and wouldn't care to learn it if you told them the truth that u really did.

If they keep pestering you with such questions you can shrug at them and say "Guess,I'm just a lucky guy." No one really cares how ur dating life is to the minutiae details .

Go through the articles I linked you to for situations u can open up about it.Otherwise keep it to yourself

Chad Tyrone

 

[ulrich]

Nope.

Seduction is a polarizing hobby.

Some people get triggered because it messes with their concept of how the world works and, for others, their own sense of agency and personal value.

Better keep it discreet for the people who can get it.

 

[HoofHearted]

I think it's fair to say to people you're exploring your own emotional development, or working on relationship skills.

This isn't polarizing. Rather quickly you will see most people don't care.

 

[Adventurer]

I discuss pickup only with my close friends (and sometimes linked Girls Chase too)

It boils down to the law of least effort. You don't need to impress your friends or play social status ladder with them, all that matters is to share good things. So you can explain why and how you learnt pickup so they can improve too (if they want)

Anyone who would judge you for your status (like girls or colleagues), you apply the law of least effort and you just make it look like you are naturally good, without bragging. So it looks like you get a lot of result for low effort.

 

[TomInHo]

Should you say you’ve been reading and watching dating/relationship advice if you’re being asked how you went so fast from not approaching girls and barely having had women in your life, to suddenly being a smooth seducer and knowing many women, or to suddenly being good at managing a relationship when you never had a real relationship before?

Or would that come off as if you’ve been learning manipulation?

I feel like, whenever I would (re)act in a certain way, I could get a response that goes like “So, you learned that from your dating advice?”

Maybe just say “Yeah I’ve learned how important it is to flirt and to push things forward instead of waiting”, and then keep it at that? The truth is, I’ve checked TONS of dating advice.

Should you just say “Nope, didn’t look up dating advice”?

How do dating guru’s handle saying what they do for a living? They gotta be specific at some point in the dating process and I’m sure that would put the women’s defenses on.

Honestly… nobody will care enough to ask how you learned, so no point in telling them

And if you really feel the need to tell them something just say you went to a Tony Robbins seminar that changed your life… that should get them off your back

 

[King]

Nope. Don’t do it. Not worth it.

Shhhh keep it to yourself

 

[POB]

No

 

[Patato Tomato]

Don't Talk About Pickup to Other People

You should not talk about game with most people. It might be tempting to (especially when it's a major point of interest of yours)… but mum's the word. This is a sort of public service announcement, mostly for new guys, but really also for any guy who gets a little 'game obsessed' and starts to...

www.google.com

Why Not to Talk About Game with Women

Lots of guys talk about game with girls. But how does this affect your relationships with them? And is it worthwhile to do? I’ve noticed a difference over the years between my natural friends and my pick up artist friends. Well, more than one difference, but this one is the topic of this...

www.google.com

Bet those will help...

Chad Tyrone

Thanks! I assumed that there are articles about this on the website but I couldn't find them.
I was referring to girlfriends, not to male friends, as everybody seems to think, and that one article make a good point ;-)

 

[DarkJedi]

Not pickup specifically. I do tell them sometimes that I'm into self development and psychology. Most cases it's actually taken as a positive.

 

[Chase]

Not pickup specifically. I do tell them sometimes that I'm into self development and psychology. Most cases it's actually taken as a positive.

I’m still scarred after telling a girl I wrote a “leadership newsletter” and having her immediately ask me if I was a pick up artist.

It turned out I had inadvertently crashed a private birthday party for a good friend of Mystery’s, and every guy there was a PUA. It was the only time I’ve ever been accused of being in pickup.

Nevertheless, I won’t even talk about being into “self-improvement” or “psychology” with girls anymore. Just too close for comfort!

(I’m obviously being overly cautious here… I expect you can probably talk about this with almost anyone and never trigger their PUA radars… although should you ever accidentally crash a pick up artist birthday party, all bets are off…)

Thanks! I assumed that there are articles about this on the website but I couldn't find them.
I was referring to girlfriends, not to male friends, as everybody seems to think, and that one article make a good point ;-)

Yeah, if you want my opinion — keep it to yourself!

This comes from a guy who used to tell girlfriends he was in pickup… and doesn’t anymore.

Chase

 

[Lover]

I think it's fair to say to people you're exploring your own emotional development, or working on relationship skills.

I have told few people close to me, even my recent ex, something along those lines. I even added that I wasn't always socially aware and had to work for where I am now. This humble explanation hasn't backfired yet. I generally come across as warm and with good intentions, and I have a hunch people have this in the back of their minds (their subconscious?) when I tell them

 

[Police dog]

Honestly. The more I am into this the less structured my understanding is. I remember when I just started doing cold approaches, I had those checklists of what to do/to say/etc and what not to. But when I started putting that into practice… It turned out to be extremely dependent on a girl. Like, it could be nice social environment and you are shining in nicely fit clothes with just getting your teeth cleaned at the dentist, approach that girl and she acts like you some weirdo. Or it could be late evening with barely anyone around, you come from the gym, approach her from behind and she gives you her insta and even goes on a date with you the following weekend. Same with dates. I had times when I was telling super boring stuff about my job and ended up sleeping with that girl. Or I would tell some good jokes, made her laugh, only to get ghosted afterwards. At this point I just accepted that randomness. Plus don’t forget that 92% of information is passed nonverbally anyways. Both you and the girls are not even going to remember most details of the conversation, you will just feel the vibe.
Bottom line - tell whatever you want, just focus on how you act during it.

 

[Kvothe]

If people ask, I usually say I met someone while doing some other activity

"Oh I met her while I was buying soup"

"We were just waiting for the same train and started talking"

"I was walking through the park and we were going the same direction"

So far, have never been accused of PU or anything. To be fair, I also tend to advertise my failures more than my successes, so while I have a reputation for being better than my peers with women, they don't really have much to directly feel threatened by.

 

[ElderPrice]

It's how you frame it. Plus you need to be aware that "pickup" and "dating advice" and terms like that mean different things to different people.

So if your answer is something like "I was socially awkward for a long time, then one day I wanted to change. So I started socializing more, meeting new people, making new friends, and it's been a great journey," it pretty much achieves what you're hinting at: You don't have to hide anything about you or your past, and at the same time you frame it in an acceptable, and truthful, way.

For more about how to best discuss weaknesses, I HIGHLY recommend Chase's articles on byronic flaws. In essence, you don't have to hide any of your flaws. There's a way to put them out in the open in the most attractive way possible.

 

[Loverboy]

This comes from a guy who used to tell girlfriends he was in pickup… and doesn’t anymore.

Just out of curiosity how do avoid telling your girlfriends when it's literally your dayjob? Do you keep your job vague and dodge questions about it?

 

[Chase]

@Loverboy,

Just out of curiosity how do avoid telling your girlfriends when it's literally your dayjob? Do you keep your job vague and dodge questions about it?

GIRL: I still don't understand exactly what you do.

ME: [pause to make it clear I dislike talking about this] I do marketing and conversions. Marketing is getting people to a website. Conversions is how you turn those people into customers.

GIRL: So you sell your own products?

ME: Yes, or we have contractors who do consultations and work with clients directly.

GIRL: Do you have a website?

ME: Yeah, I have different web properties and things set up.

GIRL: Can I see your website?

ME: Yeah, sometime I'll show it to you.

It just goes like that.

After getting pressed a few times I eventually actually set up a conversions website that I could show people if I really needed to. I call it my front company. Even have a product for it... I keep meaning to actually try selling that. It would be hilarious to me if I was able to make money with the front company.

The most hilariously awkward conversation I've had with a woman went like this:

GIRL: I need to email you this thing.

ME: Sure... crap, Gmail locked me out of my personal account!

GIRL: No problem, just tell me your business email.

ME: Uhhhhhhhhh... hold on a sec. Let me just look that up and see which one I can give you.

GIRL: You don't know your own business email address? Never mind I'll just send it over WhatsApp.



I now have a business email set up with the front company to avoid just such scenarios

 

[King]

@Loverboy,



GIRL: I still don't understand exactly what you do.

ME: [pause to make it clear I dislike talking about this] I do marketing and conversions. Marketing is getting people to a website. Conversions is how you turn those people into customers.

GIRL: So you sell your own products?

ME: Yes, or we have contractors who do consultations and work with clients directly.

GIRL: Do you have a website?

ME: Yeah, I have different web properties and things set up.

GIRL: Can I see your website?

ME: Yeah, sometime I'll show it to you.

It just goes like that.

After getting pressed a few times I eventually actually set up a conversions website that I could show people if I really needed to. I call it my front company. Even have a product for it... I keep meaning to actually try selling that. It would be hilarious to me if I was able to make money with the front company.

The most hilariously awkward conversation I've had with a woman went like this:

GIRL: I need to email you this thing.

ME: Sure... crap, Gmail locked me out of my personal account!

GIRL: No problem, just tell me your business email.

ME: Uhhhhhhhhh... hold on a sec. Let me just look that up and see which one I can give you.

GIRL: You don't know your own business email address? Never mind I'll just send it over WhatsApp.



I now have a business email set up with the front company to avoid just such scenarios

Have you ever tried to just straight up tell em? I’m guessing this kills the potential for LTRs?

Have seen lot of pua coaches just tell the girls and it seems to work out, wondering what your experience has been in this.

 

[Loverboy]

This was 100% worth asking!