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Should you say you’ve been learning pickup?

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,247
Have you ever tried to just straight up tell em? I’m guessing this kills the potential for LTRs?

Have seen lot of pua coaches just tell the girls and it seems to work out, wondering what your experience has been in this.

Yeah, back in the day I was a blabbermouth who told anyone who'd listen about how I was involved in the pickup community. Including girlfriends / girls I was shagging.

That is the reason I do not tell people anymore. All those experiences I had telling people in the past.

The PU coaches who talk to their chicks about it either

  1. Involve their woman in the business so she feels like she has control over this stuff more. If/when it ends it becomes an absolute disaster.

  2. Pare/water their shit down insensibly over time and talk about their relationship a lot (either "loving monogamous relationship" or "happy open relationship" -- either way the whole thing is clearly designed for consumption/approval of the chick, who WILL be monitoring their shit).

  3. Or the girl bites her tongue and bides her time until it's serious enough, then after a few years the dudes just get henpecked out of the business, shut their whole shit down, and switch to something much more woman/family-acceptable.

Personally I just want to run GC how I want to run it and not be worried about women looking over my shoulder, stirring up drama about it, or self-censoring because I don't want to run afoul of the censors.

(one other thing to say here is that it seems like a lot of PUA coaches date some fairly liberal, sexually open-minded, experienced chicks... they still run into those issues above anyway, but I guess maybe it is not too bad for them, at least in the beginning. That is cool and all but that is definitely not the type I date. The type I date hates this kind of thing. Doesn't matter how you frame it. I am very good at framing it as a cool, awesome, empowering, enlightening thing, but my chicks are like "Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. I still don't like it." Solution: I am in the Mafia. What she don't know won't hurt her 🤫)

Chase
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

King

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 1, 2023
Messages
83
Yeah, back in the day I was a blabbermouth who told anyone who'd listen about how I was involved in the pickup community. Including girlfriends / girls I was shagging.

That is the reason I do not tell people anymore. All those experiences I had telling people in the past.

The PU coaches who talk to their chicks about it either

  1. Involve their woman in the business so she feels like she has control over this stuff more. If/when it ends it becomes an absolute disaster.

  2. Pare/water their shit down insensibly over time and talk about their relationship a lot (either "loving monogamous relationship" or "happy open relationship" -- either way the whole thing is clearly designed for consumption/approval of the chick, who WILL be monitoring their shit).

  3. Or the girl bites her tongue and bides her time until it's serious enough, then after a few years the dudes just get henpecked out of the business, shut their whole shit down, and switch to something much more woman/family-acceptable.

Personally I just want to run GC how I want to run it and not be worried about women looking over my shoulder, stirring up drama about it, or self-censoring because I don't want to run afoul of the censors.

(one other thing to say here is that it seems like a lot of PUA coaches date some fairly liberal, sexually open-minded, experienced chicks... they still run into those issues above anyway, but I guess maybe it is not too bad for them, at least in the beginning. That is cool and all but that is definitely not the type I date. The type I date hates this kind of thing. Doesn't matter how you frame it. I am very good at framing it as a cool, awesome, empowering, enlightening thing, but my chicks are like "Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. I still don't like it." Solution: I am in the Mafia. What she don't know won't hurt her 🤫)

Chase

Wooooo there is so much thought and experience in this, loved reading it chase it was the ultimate reply 😍

Anyone could write articles on P tech but we love you for your personality, attitude and wisdom chase soo cooool 😁
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,261
there are 2 schools: - group of guys proud and think is a dhv

-group of guys that say "don't talk about fight club" using a movie reference totally out of context to double down in causation correlation....


I would advice for you to field test and come to your own conclusions, now there some autist that say "i am a pua" which is retarded some that say "i study relationships and self development to make me into a more attractive man" so the delivery method important...

 

dsky

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 12, 2024
Messages
11
Should you say you’ve been reading and watching dating/relationship advice if you’re being asked how you went so fast from not approaching girls and barely having had women in your life, to suddenly being a smooth seducer and knowing many women, or to suddenly being good at managing a relationship when you never had a real relationship before?

Or would that come off as if you’ve been learning manipulation?

I feel like, whenever I would (re)act in a certain way, I could get a response that goes like “So, you learned that from your dating advice?”

Maybe just say “Yeah I’ve learned how important it is to flirt and to push things forward instead of waiting”, and then keep it at that? The truth is, I’ve checked TONS of dating advice.

Should you just say “Nope, didn’t look up dating advice”?

How do dating guru’s handle saying what they do for a living? They gotta be specific at some point in the dating process and I’m sure that would put the women’s defenses on.
lol - reminds me of a time that group Social Dynamics was having an event in town and I invited my girlfiend to go with me! :) She declined but encourage me to go. She knew me well. All in good fun. Day pickups at the mall. I went back home to her that night and told her some fun stories. Key take away: Always tell the truth. Don't offer it up but when asked, tell it how it is.
 
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