ShuaiGe's Journal

[Skippy]

Hi everyone

Here's a quick intro: I'm ShuaiGe (It means "handsome" in Chinese). I'm not actually Chinese, but I do know a good bit of it (and yeah, I have a thing for asian women). Am I actually handsome? It depends. I get told I'm good-looking, but its probably subjective. On the other hand, I should note that my facial hair is objectively sexy. I'm currently a junior in college.

My goals with women: My long-term goal is to find a "dream girl" and settle down with her. I have no idea if that's what I actually want-- it could just be a result of my upbringing. Therefore, I want to try out all sorts of relationships with all sorts of women before I realize what really makes me happy. In the short term, I'm just trying to get laid, since I have yet to do so

My experience with women: I have not had much tangible experience with women, but I've come a long way from when I first seriously started trying to attract girls (8th grade). I discovered girlschase in 12th grade and I started working on my fundamentals when I began college. My fundamentals have improved so much these past two years. I love seeing how people of similar demographics(girls included) respond differently to me now compared to two years ago when my fundamentals were essentially nonexistent. At this point, I've eliminated most of my insecurities but I think the main thing holding me back from tangible success is really just the fact that I don't put myself out there enough. Girls in the past have been interested in me, and I've been making steady improvements. Once I have more experience with seducing women, I'm confident I can start getting the results I want.

My purpose for this blog: I want a place to record my interactions and document what I've learned.

 

[Skippy]

Now that I've gotten the intro out of the way, here is a report of my meeting with Daisy. Currently, I've been trying to get with a girl I know from college (we'll call her Kat) but in the meantime, I've been talking to a girl named Daisy online. We met on Hello Talk(Shout out to William for mentioning it in one of his articles!) She lives in my city and she was responding to my messages so we video chatted on wechat in order to practice english/chinese. We were talking about restaurants in chinatown and she seemed to know her chinese restaurants pretty well, so I said "you should show me a restaurant sometime!" she seemed pretty excited about it so we eventually planned for something. We ended up just meeting downtown and I suggested another chinese restaurant that I really wanted to try.

The meeting:
Going in, my concern was that the interaction before meeting was too friendly(I had even helped her out with her english writing), so I needed to set a sexual tone from the start. My plan was to hold onto her hand a little longer than normal when shaking it because in the past one girl I met got visibly excited when I did that. However, she let go after shaking(and maybe my hand was a little cold too).

The conversation was alright, I deep dived her about her job and and what she would do if she could pick any job regardless of income. We talked about "memorable" weekends we had, crazy stories, etc... In the middle I could sense that she was getting very enthusiastic and she began using tons of hand gestures. I tried to use "sexual eye-contact". Many times I forget to do this. It was a little harder to do this with her because she wasn't giving me the intense kind of eye-contact that Kat does when I'm speaking. I just realized I did not do any screening, qualifying, or chase/sexual framing-- thats something I keep forgetting to include in conversation. I also didn't do any touching. After talking some more, we walked to a library and then we walked the other direction to check out some shops. In total, the interaction took about 3hrs. I figured out her schedule and she had plans later in the day so I decided not to ask her back to my place (since it would take about 1hr for her to get back home from my place). I usually like to display interest by complimenting girls on something they are wearing, but this time, I tried to just show it through my eye-contact and pauses.

Sometimes, I realized I would get very interested in what she was saying and that showed in my tonality and facial expressions. I will experiment with instead only showing interest in my words and remaining neutral in my other sub-communication.

After I got home, she texted me:

Nice meeting you today. Maybe next time you can take me to an Indian restaurant you like. :-D

In fact, I happen to know of a very good "Indian restaurant".(aka my kitchen) I know the chef real well

Jokes aside, I probably won't cook Indian food with her. I would love to, but the smell permeates the house and causes your clothes to smell like Indian food. I could still invite her over and get take out.


The rest of my day: I plan to go downtown regularly to work on my day game since I'm still too scared to approach on campus. On campus I'd rather just meet girls through a school club or through class and then grab their digits that way. Once I get better at day game/being social in general, I'll be more comfortable just randomly striking up conversations with girls, but I'd like to build up some basic skills in that away from campus first.

Today when I was downtown, I was not able to find my bus stop for the return trip so I walked around asking people for directions. That gave me good taste of what it felt like to approach someone new. I would walk next to them, pass ahead slightly, and then turn to ask them

Me: "Hi! ause: Do you know where I can find the stop for the 5 line."(downward tonality)
Them: "I'm actually just visiting the city"/"hmm, I'm not sure"
Me: "Oh ok, that's cool. Enjoy your stay"

For some people, it was funny to see their faces change as it registered in their minds that someone was speaking to them. I guess that's that I also look like when someone strikes up a conversation with me. I think that's why its important for them to see you first before you open them.

I finally got on the bus and a middle-aged woman sat next to me. She had a friendly-looking face so I decided to strike up a conversation with her:

Me: Do you know where we are?
Her: *some street*
Me: Oh so are there many more stops on the way back?
Her: No, actually after this stop the bus will go straight to [where I happen to live]

From there, I did some more fluff talk and transitioned to asking her about what she did, after some more talking she mentioned she had a son so I shifted the conversation towards that. Occasionally before I reached the "hook" point with her, I would just let the conversation die out and she would pick it back up. Its a good technique to use in the future because if you are sitting next to someone on a bus, it becomes extremely awkward when a conversation dies out. So they have that social pressure to pick it up anyways.

 

[Skippy]

In some of my posts, I've compared interactions to "the last time I had a girl back in my room". I think I should finally write about this girl because she's affected me so much last year. This was the first girl I tried to get with after making significant improvements in my fundamentals. I invested an entire semester pining after her until she finally told me she wanted to remain single for the time being. She was also the first girl that I actually asked out/tried to run a process on, so in that sense she will always be special in my journey towards becoming successful with women..

Lets call her angela. Angela was in my dorm. I actually noticed her because she was super short(4' 11'') and asian (my favorite combination). I didnt really talk to her much in the fall. We first met at the dining table(everyone at the dorm eats at one dining table) I dont remember much of the conversation, but that's when we first introduced ourselves. Then later during finals week, I see her at dinner and she's studying for math so she asks me

Angela: Do you know anything about delta-epsilon proofs?
Me: Of course o.0 (I'm a math major, after all)
Angela: (I dont remember what she said, something about her having some proofs for her math class that she is stressing about etc..)
Me: Well I'll be up in my room studying, so feel free to drop by if you have questions.

Later, I'm at my room studying and sure enough, I hear a knock on my door and she comes in with the problems shes stressing about. I think about them and figure out one, but I'm being a derp and can't knock out the other one. In the meantime while we're talking, I use incidental touch, like tapping her shoulder to look at something on my paper. Once I patted her on the head, but she yells

"WHY do people always do that!!" (short people problems haha)

Later I lean in to see what progress she has made and

she shouts out "Don't touch me!!...woah that sounded really aggressive sorry "

I still can't figure out the problem. It doesn't feel like it should be difficult, so I just tell her "I'll think about it later and let her know if I find something"(I'm pretty sure I will).

Me: "but how will I let you know if I find something?"

So she takes my notebook and writes her number. She leaves. A couple minutes later, I do indeed figure it out. So I message her and she comes up to fix it.
Later the next day, we talk some more at dinner about music. Later that night she sends me 30 text messages about songs she likes. I only have time to listen to one of them so I reply

Me: I listened to one song and I really liked it. so it seems your music tastes might just be up to par This means we need to have a music jam session after the break! anyways, I think I'll ample he rest of these songs after finals are over.

During winter break, we talk a little, but not much. I'm determined to ask her out when I get back, though.

When I get back, I see her at dinner once and she says that she got my previous text and that she agreed, we needed to jam out sometime. So later that night I text her

Me: So Angela, what's your schedule like this week? Let's grab some food...or shakes!
Her: Sorry for the late reply again! I just got back from a club meeting
Her: Hellz yeah okay both sound good to me
Her: But I dont know about the weather tomorrow
Her: See people didn't believe me when I told them that wednesday would be like -20 without windchill
Her:Wednesday I should be free from 11:30 to 12:30 and then from 3:30pm onwards
Her: and thursday I should be free from 2pm onwards because hell yeah no lab this wee
Her: Let me know what works for you

^as you can see, she's extremely talkative... much more of a chatterbox irl actually

Anyways, we eventually meet for shakes on wednesday. She's a bit late because she started eating dinner and didn't realize how long it took. In fact, she's so full from dinner that she doesn't even feel like getting a shake. So I'm the only one with a shake, and she's basically watching me eat it, except she was talking 90% of the time. I thought it went horribly, because I didn't feel like I made any connection with her. All I remember was noticing her dainty hands with silver nail polish and thinking they looked amazing. However later that week, during dinner, she said

Angela: We should get shakes sometime!
Me: sure, we'll plan something later(Inside, I'm pleasantly surprised! I thought our date before was really lame)

Later during the weekend, she comes over to my room for math help, but we just end up dicking around the computer, listening to music, talking about stuff, basically just having a good time. It was pretty clear neither of us really cared about doing math. One thing which I remembered was I forgot about her hangup about being patted on the head so I went to pat her on the head again and she basically acted exasperated and said "NO!" (sort of playfully, but I could tell it annoyed her). However, she still bowed her head down and let me pat it.
I was confused by this direct contradiction between her words and her actions but at the time I didn't think anything of it because it was just an isolated incident with one girl.
Some things she told me that night was how her mom really wanted her to find a boyfriend. In my mind, I was just thinking "Act casual! Act casual!"

We finally planned to get shakes Saturday night. I came back to the dorm after dinner and ran into her on the stairs. We both needed a minute to get ready, so I told her I'd meet her downstairs in 5 min. When she comes down, her friend is with her and she nervously asks if its okay for her to come along.
In my mind, I'm thinking wtf? but inside, I stay chill and say "sure!". We go get shakes and we meet another friend along the way. The four of us walk. Angela and I are behind while the other two are walking ahead of us. (Ironically, those two started dating near the beginning of this year and this was the first time they really hung out, so I guess something good came out of this at least!) I still got to spend plenty of 1-1 time with her because of how we paired up, but I was still confused as to why the other girl showed up in the first place.

One day, I message her

Me: Hey Angela, hows my favorite [Dorm-name]-er doing today? Lets watch a movie tonight!
Her: DUDE aww haha thank you <3 where and when are we talking?
Her: I'm goofing off rn haha I'm actually watching makeup tutorials on YouTube
Her: Some people can really rock orange omg like now I want orange lipstick
Me: I was thinking we could stream something on my laptop. theres a movie one of my professors really likes, which seems interesting.
Her: Thats cool with me: what time do you want to see the movie? I don't think I'll be getting back until rather late.
Me: That's fine, just message me when you get back. you know how late my sleep schedule is anyways

Ultimately, we end up not watching the movie because she gets back extremely late from an event she was at. She apologizes later, and we plan to do it later.

I message her on valentines day if she wants to get dinner:

Me: Hey angela, lets get dinner tonight!
--She doesnt respond after a long time, so I send another message
Me: actually, I already made plans. but let me know if you want to hang out sometime later.
Her: Wait I'm sorry did you get my last message?
Her: Okay have fun though!
Me: I didn't get your message
Her: Sorry it wasnt a text it was actually a facebook message
Her: I didn't have my phone at the time
Her: Do you want to get dessert sometime later tonight?
Her: God this concert is ridiculously long
Me: yeah that would be nice. I'll let you know when I get back.
Her: It'll be my treat!
Me: Happy Valentines Day!
Her: haha thanks
Her: Omg
Her: wait I'll give it to you later then haha but are you back?
Her: I'm back at the dorm eating a late dinner. the concert was fucking 4 hours long

She comes and gives me a valentines day card that she made. (She made the card for a couple other friends too, not just me) She says how people think of valentines day card as something only reserved for lovers, but she thinks its fine to give it to friends as well. (Inside, I gulped)'
My plan was to watch the movie with her then, but instead we just watch a quick episode at my desk and its cold outside so we dont feel like going out. She leaves to go finish some work.

A few days later, we are both studying for a midterm the next day. We go talk a little bit and then agree to celebrate after the midterms are finished. The next day:

Her: Hey do you want to get dinner if you havent already eaten?
Me: Where?
Her: You pick
Me: Okay here's what we'll do. I'm working on a pset tonight in the math tower. so I'm planning on just going to the dining hall around 7 but at 9:45, we'll go on an adventure. Save room for food!
Her: Lol that sounds mysterious haha

Afterwards, I wait for her in the library

Her: Hey sorry I'm late, I'm on my way to the library right now.
Her: I shit you not I couldn't find my glasses for 10 minutes and decided to just put my contacts on
Me: no worries, contacts are sexy too.
Her: Lol but tbqh glasses are cuter (was that a shit test on her part?)
Her: Okay I'm in the library now!

At the restaurant, (we just go to the take out area. there's tables and stuff) We see another guy and girl that we know from the dorm. She keeps commenting on how cute it is that they are at the restaurant with each other. and how they would make a great couple. She literally just pointed out a parallel situation to ours so I'm just thinking "Act casual! Act casual!" We go back to the dorm and I tell her to come up to watch the movie. She needs to go to her room first to find her glasses.


Interaction 1:
She finally comes, since she took forever, I was already in bed thinking she wouldn't show up or had dozed off or something. Since I was already in bed, we just end up talking. She tells me how lately her body has been aching. and says there's a spot on her back that hurts, but she can't reach it. I help find it for her and give her a light back massage. She hints that she wants a full back massage, but she feels bad asking for one. So I tell her not to worry about it. She leaves and comes back 5 minutes later to tell me that she heard two of our friends talking in a room together(everyone's been trying to ship them together) and she thought it was really cute that they were talking together at this time of night. I'm just thinking to myself "How is that any different from what we are doing??"
Sometimes when we were talking, I would pull her in close "because I wasn't wearing my contacts and it was hard to see". I think she was smiling when I did that and honestly, it gave me a boner to hold her this close and feel her weight(she's tiny, so you tend to forget that humans actually have a decent bit of weight on them compared to say gym weights). I also felt really dominant while doing it.

She agrees to a back massage this time, but we talk a little bit first and then later she changes her mind and decides to go back to her room to sleep.(Also, I turned my fan on when she got back and that might've made my room too chilly)

The next day, I see her and some friends for dinner, and she later goes off with another guy to shop for ingredients to make donuts.
I know it was platonic(I think?) but I just got really jealous and realized I needed to stop fucking around and make a move. So next week, she messages me if I want to grab dinner. We head out to an asian restaurant. I remember she made a comment once about how its annoying that the music there is romantic so even if you want to go with friends it feels like its a date even though its not. (Don't know what to make of that. Maybe its her way of saying subconsciously that I'm in the friendzone)

When we get back, She gets distracted by some kid playing piano in the lounge, and I dont feel like staying/clinging to her so I just go upstairs to my room. but she texts me:

Her: You still want to watch a movie?
Her: I'm in the lounge watching someone play pikimin
Me: Come up when you're ready
Her: I didn't know where you went when I was downstairs and I was like omg he disappeared
Me: I went to search for protein bars, ofc
Me: Do you work at starbucks?(setting up to hit her with a cheesy pickup line)
Her: Lol
Her: I'll be there soon
Her: This game is amazingly fun to watch
Her: Pikimin are so cute
Me: Do you work at starbucks?
Her: Oh is this is a cheesy pickup line
Her: Why no I don't work at starbucks
Me: ...because I like you a latte
Her: Awww <3
Her: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Her: Or should I walk by again?
Me: Angela, you're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts
Her: LOL I KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THAT FROM I'M ON THE SAME PAGE
Me: hmm same category too
Me: do you use mango shampoo?
Her: haha no
Me: because you're making this man go crazy
Her: Lol omg that's so cute haha
Her: On a scale from one to nine you're a nine and I'm the one more you need~
Me:
Me: What's the difference between a you and a ferrari?
Her; Haha I dont know, what?
Me: I don't want a ferrari (bullshit lol)
Her: Holy shit thats so cute omg
Her: Are you a fruit because honeydew you know how fine you are?
Me: lol too adorable
Her: God this game is so fucking vicious and cute at the same time what.

Interaction 2
She finally comes over for a movie. My friend was also chilling around in my room so she asks if he wants to join us, but he obviously declines

She has brought a stuffed toy with her and her hard drive with movies. The first movie we watch is absolute rubbish. The entire time, I'm trying to figure out how to put my arm around her. Around 3:30, she realizes its getting late and that she needs to go back. but first, she wants to show me a scene from a movie that she brought along(so we end up watching another movie despite her saying she needed to go). So this time, I just put my arm around the pillow we are leaning against and she backs up against my arm. In the middle, she asks if my arm is getting stiff, but its not and I ask her if shes comfortable, and she says yea. I have no idea how to go for the kiss and when the movie is over. She gets up to leave. but I have to make a move so I just hug her from behind. She stops. I can't be certain but I think she was smiling, so I just say to my self "Fuck it" and I kiss her on the neck. Then I let her go and she stands at the doorway and says "Cya "
I feel really stunned since this is the first time I've kissed a girl, even though it wasn't on the mouth.

I dont see her the next couple of days. The next week, I decide to message her to figure out what's up. So I text her

Me: Howdy firecracker, you awake?
16 min later
Me: Anyways, its getting warmer and I'm craving some sugar. I want to take you out sometime on an ice cream date@ (this ice cream parlor). you down?
She responds much much much much later than usual basically 12 hrs later)

Her: [ShuaiGe], I dont want to alarm you, but we need to talk first. I can't tell you exactly when right now because my schedule is kinda hectic but would sometime this week work for you? I'll get back to you with specifics later. let me know.
Her: Good luck on your midterms!
Me: yeah sure. I should be free this week.

Later that week, she calls me asking if we can get dinner. I've just finished up eating dinner so we plan to meet by the library to talk. When we meet up, she looks at me and says

Her: So where do we stand?
Me:...I want to take you out on a date
Her: well I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now. I don't think I have parts of my life handled
She then starts tearing up and says that last time she turned a guy down she messed things up and so much and she felt bad

I was just fucking confused and a now people were staring at us because she was crying. I just gave her a hug. She said she needed more time to think about it and that if she did decide not to go out with me, could we still be friends? Obviously, I just said "Sure! of course!" Inside, I felt pretty bad though, but foolishly hopeful that she would genuinely think about it.

We then walk around and talk some more

I cut contact with her, and spring break happened. A week after we got back from spring break, she messages me to hangout for shakes. it was awkward because we had to get shakes and then as soon as we did, she had to go meet her friend. She comes to my room later that night, has me come out in the hallway and says she's made up her mind and wants to stay single for now.She says how she still wants to be friends and if I ever want to hang out with her, I should just message her(haha as if)

She's awkwardly positioning her arms as if asking for a hug, so I just move in and give her a hug. I'm pretty hurt, but I had expected this would happen before break. I was just holding out in the slight chance that she would change her mind. I had already been hitting the gym hard with a new workout plan specifically designed for attracting girls after coming back from the break and I had already upgraded my fashion a bit during break.

but wait there's more
I followed the standard protocol after that and cut contact with her. However, I would get extremely anxious if I saw her talking to another guy. (I wouldn't show it or anything, but I would be so distracted that I just wouldn't be able to focus). Logically, I knew it was best to cut contact and stop thinking about her, but emotionally, it was just very hard to stop having feelings for her. She would try to talk to me occasionally if she saw me. I would be polite to her, but wouldn't really engage. Once a group of friends including her were getting dinner and they wanted me to come. I did not show up because I had other dinner plans and also I didn't want to see her. The next day at the dorm dinner table she called me out
Her: "[shuai ge] we missed you at dinner yesterday!"
Me: Yea, I had some pressing issues to take care of (Its true, I was meeting up with my future roommates to figure out stuff about apartments next year)

Finally during the end of the school year, I assumed I would never hear from her again. but something odd happened. It was the very last day, and I was packing all my stuff. I was jamming to some music with my friend. We left the room to go to his room for a second. When we got back I see a folded letter taped to my door. Its from her

[ShuaiGe]

I don't know if I'll be seeing you next year since you will be moving out so I just wanted to say thank you for all of your help this year and for dinners! I havent talked to you actually in a while-- I'm sorry! I don't see you around often anymore and admittedly I was/am afraid that you might not have wanted to see me. But, I do want to say I'm grateful for this year and I hope you have a great summer/rest of your 2 years! Have fun being a math major and with your math people and don't talk to too many sketchy people on wechat (haha)! Wish you the best.

Sincerely
Angela

I texted her a response at the airport essentially saying "yeah I'll be busy, but if you ever want to hangout, just shoot me a text and I'll see if I'm free"
She said "Sounds good and yeah I'll be in touch when you get back!"

She has not messaged me and its been another semester already lol.


Thoughts
I can't pinpoint the exact place I went wrong. I have several theories
1. She just never was into me in the first place (I like to think she liked me at least at some point ?)
2. I messed up by officially "asking her out on a date"
3. Her attraction for me crashed because I moved too slow
4. I botched up the time we watched a movie by having a really hesitant kiss on the neck.

I honestly dont know if its either #1 or a combination of #2,3,4

Her rejection really stung and for a while I worried that I wasn't attractive enough, but lifting and female attention during the summer basically set me straight again.
In fact, after a couple weeks, I would purposely try to run into her while wearing a tank top, because I just looked so damn good in it(petty, I know ). Who knows? maybe she wrote the letter because she was secretly kicking herself for passing up a muscular hunk** like myself

**(okay in all seriousness, guys who lift would not consider me muscular. but I'm at least toned I just have low body fat and so any muscle I put on looks amazing, and I've been reasonably dedicated towards that. and some guys who don't lift probably could put up higher numbers than me)


This post has already gotten too long so for the next post, I will mention some patterns I've noticed in my interactions with Kat and Angela. The similarities are actually kind of freaky.

 

[Skippy]

Patterns that I noticed between angela and kat.

1. Prolonging the interaction... both of them would say they have to leave "because its getting late" and then they would forget all about it, or they would bring up a new topic such as "I have to show you this movie" or "what was that other movie you were talking about"...and all of a sudden she stays for another 3 hours.

2. Non responsiveness to touch-- When I use incidental contact or put my arm around them or hold their hand, they don't really react to it. They act as if it didn't even register. My guess is this means they are feeling shy/nervous and maybe it means they are just inexperienced and would prefer that I handle all the escalation by myself.

3. Direct contradiction between their words and their actions. angela bowed her head down to let me pat it, even though she sounded mildly annoyed. kat agreed to sit on the bed to watch the movie even though she said "do we have to sit on the bed ". Can't think of a good explanation for these, maybe they are also symptoms of them feeling shy/nervous or maybe they've just gotten so used to following my lead that they decide to just go with it.

 

[Skippy]

Happy New Year, guys!

I'll step on the New Year's resolutions bandwagon and list my goals for the upcoming year:

1. Weightlifting Goals (everything is for 5 reps): Incline Bench 165, Weighted Pullups +90, Sumo Deadlift 250, ohp 100
2. Daily Meditation for 10 min
3. Go 90 days without porn and see what happens then.


That's it for now. The first one should be doable if I just follow my process correctly (eating and sleeping right). I might not hit all of those numbers, but I think I'll come close at the very least. The second one will be the hardest because creating daily habits is a skill that I am still working on. The third one is similar to the second one in that sense.

I have a million other goals, but these are three that are pretty uncomplicated. So I'll add on more once I've got a routine in place with these.

 

[Skippy]

It's been a while since I've posted, but don't worry I've still been lurking and I've still been making progress, albeit pretty slowly.

New Year's Resolutions: They've been going decently well. There were a couple days where I forgot to meditate, but for the most part, I've been quite good at keeping up with them. I have yet to start a 90 day stretch of no porn.

In other news, I've started a newbie assignment. I've already done days 1 and 2. Here's the scoop:

Day 1: I went downtown to scout for places. Here's what I found
1. The streets-- easily the best place to find girls, only downside is that it's pretty cold during this time of the year, so indoors are better. if possible.
2. There is a university barnes and nobles downtown which I can go to(another university, not mine)
3. Trader Joe's/whole foods (I only visited t-joes though)
4. I went inside some clothing stores(mainly because I was looking to buy stuff, actually) I think there should be some bigger shopping malls downtown but I was focused on specific stores that I wanted to shop at so I didn't get a chance to look at those.

5. Chinatown-- Haven't visited this place recently, and its not specific enough, since its big...but it has a high concentration of asian women, and I know many people who come from china choose to live near it.(ooh I bet you guys are trying to guess what city I'm from It's not new york or san francisco)

Day 2
I walked around roughly the same places and focused on my posture. Not much to report on here. One funny thing which happened was I was at a foever21 trying out some clothes and when I finished walked out of the fitting room and returned my number card to a dude who I thought worked there (lol this fucker was walking around in the exact same outfit as the employees(black trousers, black shirt, with a black blazer)--turns out, he was just trying out the blazer and decided to walk around outside instead of trying it out in a stall). Anyways, so I give him the card, and he looks at me kind of annoyed:

Him: Why are you giving me this...
Me: (still thinking he was an employee and wanted me to hang the card myself)I don't know?
Him: I don't work here!
Me: oops Sorry

I was kind of thrown off by his rudeness so my response was lame, but I should've instead said "What do you mean" with neutral tonality instead of "I don't know". This would force him to explain that he doesn't work here and then I could say something like: "oh...my mistake" with dominant tonality.


Other News:

I basically stopped messaging Kat (because I was busy and also didn't know if I was still attracted to her). a week went by in the new semester when she actually decided to message me first asking if I was free to grab lunch sometime. she even knew I was busy studying for an exam even though I didn't mention it to her. so...she want's my cock and I need to remind myself that any resistance she give towards coming back to my place is likely just token resistance. She wants a snuggle buddy for the winter as much as I do.

Final note about my newbie assignment schedule. I will do this once a week and make the trek downtown either friday or saturday morning. (it's about a 25min bus drive)

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey mate, just dropping a line to say hello and get subscribed to your journal, I have been a bit busy lately over the Xmas period so I've only just taken a look now.

By the way, I am also interested in learning Chinese, although as far as I've got so far is something like "wo jiao Ray... ni jiao shen me ming zi?" And "ni hen piao liang" (sp?) Or "wo xi au so ren" (sp even more crazy but that's supposed to mean "I'm an Australian person). Hehe. Anyway, I really like Chinese people and they are plenty at my uni. Haha, so where are you located anyway?

I cried over your interaction with Angela... such a waste no! She seemed really into you, it's definitely #3 in your list, moved too slow, attraction expired, placed in the friendzone... although she obviously feels a bit bad about friendzoning you which I guess is why she hasn't contacted you to hangout. For future reference all that stuff about "other couples" etc, was basically girltalk for "I want your cock -- isolate and fuck me". And the business about staying an extra 3hrs in your room, this was late at night yeah? You should have fucked her!!!

Anyway don't worry bro you did great, I have had these situations more times than I can count, and it's heart breaking but it teaches you to move faster and be more confident! Luckily you had GC or you'd still be like "OMG this just doesn't make sense, she likes me and suddenly whammo won't talk to me, what did I do waa waa". Thing is that women operate differently to men, when developing a relationship with a male it's basically brick-by-brick, building connection and spending time together and pursuing common interests, and you know where you stand because it's related to investment -- whereas with women it's always an EMOTIONAL decision, you feel you are getting closer by dating her and spending time with her but actually you're just getting closer to the friendzone! FUCK!!

Take care bro, good luck with the assignment. Shout out anytime. BTW I'm keen to see Drexel's video about our earlier thread. I wonder if he'll discuss my advice or just your dates.

Ray

 

[Skippy]

Hi Ray! Great to hear from you!

By the way, I am also interested in learning Chinese, although as far as I've got so far is something like "wo jiao Ray... ni jiao shen me ming zi?" And "ni hen piao liang" (sp?) Or "wo xi au so ren" (sp even more crazy but that's supposed to mean "I'm an Australian person). Hehe. Anyway, I really like Chinese people and they are plenty at my uni.

Chinese people get so excited when they find out you are learning Chinese. I think it makes you more "familiar" to them, or maybe they're just intrigued. I've just noticed its easy to make friends with them when they find out I know a lot of Chinese. and being a native speaker of english means you will get inundated with requests for "language exchange"
Here are two of my favorite free resources for self-study
1. http://popupchinese.com/podcasts -- these are as entertaining as podcasts could possibly get and I found that when I went to china, the stuff I learned from them was quite applicable.
2. http://collections.uiowa.edu/chinese/to ... nning.html you can read more about how this program works here http://collections.uiowa.edu/chinese/do ... i_2010.pdf In total 900 passages that will probably build you up to a newspaper reading level.

Haha, so where are you located anyway?

okay fine. its 芝加哥

I cried over your interaction with Angela... such a waste no! She seemed really into you, it's definitely #3 in your list, moved too slow, attraction expired, placed in the friendzone... although she obviously feels a bit bad about friendzoning you which I guess is why she hasn't contacted you to hangout. For future reference all that stuff about "other couples" etc, was basically girltalk for "I want your cock -- isolate and fuck me".

Interesting you mentioned that...now that I think about it, there were many more instances of her talking to me about couples, and how other people in the dorm were pairing up. and yeah its unfortunate things didn't work out, but at least I made some sweet gains spring quarter! and I probably wouldn't have gotten to know Kat as well as I know now. Personality wise, I think I gel with her much better, so it just goes to confirm that there are "plenty of fish in the sea".

BTW I'm keen to see Drexel's video about our earlier thread. I wonder if he'll discuss my advice or just your dates.

haha he was quite mysterious about what the video would cover I'm really looking forward to his video and I'm feeling both impressed and impatient. its impressive that GC can churn out quality articles at such a regular rate. they come out once every 1-2 days and they don't take brakes either. I imagine they would also have to have a sizable waitlist of articles to keep it at such a consistent frequency. but yeah I'm hoping it comes soon

I will probably post more thoughts tomorrow as well as day 3. I just wanted to wrap this post up now because I'm sleepy af(its 6am :/).

ShuaiGe

 

[ray_zorse]

Chinese people get so excited when they find out you are learning Chinese. I think it makes you more "familiar" to them, or maybe they're just intrigued.

That's my experience too, they love it Chinese in particular since they are one of the world most spoken languages, yet hardly anybody in the Western world can be bothered learning it. Quite difficult to pronounce, haha. I like to make a game of it, I ask my girl what her name is in Chinese, and then I get her to tell me the tone of each word and try to pronounce it. Sometimes I ask for the characters too. Although this looks a bit like qualifying myself, it's also fun and educational.

Here are two of my favorite free resources for self-study

Thanks mate, I haven't looked at it yet but I will do so when I have time. I quite like this page, I got as far as cutting and pasting the vocabulary from the first 3 or 4 lessons into a flash cards app and downloading it into my phone to study in my free time, unfortunately I put too many cards in each deck which made it quite challenging, so I will prepare some smaller decks and work through them. As to the resources you posted, it looks like you're into Extensive Reading? I have tried this in Japanese, here is one of my favourite pieces, Cinderella or "Shinderera". Because I already knew the story in English, I could guess quite a lot of the things I didn't recognize. But unfortunately because I enjoy this story so much, I started to read it "intensively" instead of going on "extensively" to read lots of pieces at a more appropriate skill level for me. When I have time I will also prepare some flash card decks for this story. (I successfully learned a number of Japanese karaoke songs by making card decks for those, as well). Unfortunately, I really have to concentrate on my studies right now. I am planning after I graduate to devote some days per week to languages.

Interesting you mentioned that...now that I think about it, there were many more instances of her talking to me about couples, and how other people in the dorm were pairing up.

This doesn't surprise me, I was thinking about the issue in the gym while working out after I wrote the above post to you the other day, and a quote from Chase occurred to me: "When chase-framing conservative girls, go one step down... for instance instead of accusing them of wanting sex, accuse them of wanting a boyfriend... instead of accusing them of wanting a boyfriend, accuse them of wanting marriage"... otherwise you can cause offence instead of achieving the kind of teasing tone that you're aiming for. (This gells with my experience, I introduced myself to a table of Filipinos at one stage in a local bar and had some fun chatting up a beautiful Filipino girl who had a good sense of humour, I chase framed her a bit, and although she liked it, one of her companions started white knighting and saying I was offending her because Filipino girls aren't sluts etc etc... so definitely could have calibrated better to the situation). So I'm guessing this also works in reverse -- if she's hinting about couples, then treat it like an American girl hinting about sex, and similarly treat marriage talk like boyfriend talk.

and yeah its unfortunate things didn't work out, but at least I made some sweet gains spring quarter! and I probably wouldn't have gotten to know Kat as well as I know now. Personality wise, I think I gel with her much better, so it just goes to confirm that there are "plenty of fish in the sea".

It's good to see you're being positive here. Although more sex is always better, even if you don't 100% gel with the person, connection is also important to me. Unfortunately since one of my strengths is connection-based game, girls tend to fall for me pretty hard (or not at all) which makes it difficult to manage fuckbuddy relationships. Also, since I now have a girlfriend and so I only want one night stands and fuckbuddies, I feel like connection-based game is the wrong thing ATM.

okay fine. its 芝加哥

Interesting, I only knew the middle character (I have seen the others before, but I don't know what those radicals mean except the "++" [grass]). The reason I knew 加 is, when my ex-girlfriend (JP girl) was teaching me the calligraphy for か (ka), she told me that the character in ancient times was 加, but the right-hand part (the box) was abbreviated to a single line to make it quicker to write. (She was also explaining to me to draw the line a lot bigger so that it took up half of the character cell, although interestingly the font on my PC doesn't have it like that). So it does not surprise me that the middle syllable of your hometown is "ka".

Anyway, chat later... cheers, Ray

 

[Skippy]

Re: ShuaiGe's Journal + Day 3

Unfortunately, I really have to concentrate on my studies right now. I am planning after I graduate to devote some days per week to languages.

yeah seems like something to look forward to what field are you studying?

(This gells with my experience, I introduced myself to a table of Filipinos at one stage in a local bar and had some fun chatting up a beautiful Filipino girl who had a good sense of humour, I chase framed her a bit, and although she liked it, one of her companions started white knighting and saying I was offending her because Filipino girls aren't sluts etc etc... so definitely could have calibrated better to the situation). So I'm guessing this also works in reverse -- if she's hinting about couples, then treat it like an American girl hinting about sex, and similarly treat marriage talk like boyfriend talk.

I just find this interesting because its so "orderly" and makes a lot of sense when you think about it in retrospect. Thanks!

It's good to see you're being positive here. Although more sex is always better, even if you don't 100% gel with the person, connection is also important to me. Unfortunately since one of my strengths is connection-based game, girls tend to fall for me pretty hard (or not at all) which makes it difficult to manage fuckbuddy relationships. Also, since I now have a girlfriend and so I only want one night stands and fuckbuddies, I feel like connection-based game is the wrong thing ATM.

Yeah I realized I like it when a girl brings out my protective instincts. Wrapping my arms around a girl and making her feel safe causes my brain to release a shitton of oxytocin. I guess I crave the physical connection. For example, "conversations online" < "conversations where you and the girl are cuddling". and I imagine post-sex conversations are the ultimate connection-building conversations.

Day 3
You would think that something as harmless as making eye-contact would lead for a pretty uneventful day right? Well something pretty amusing happened because of it.

When was sitting on the bus to go downtown, a girl sat across from me. We made eye-contact and I flashed her a smile. She smiled back and immediately looked down. A few minutes later, she was buried in her phone. I got off and walked around the streets, trying to catch people's eyes but most of them were looking forward. It seems hard to do this on the streets(irrelevant if you actually approach them, though). I went shopping at a grocery store and made eye-contact with a bunch of people but most of them would look off to the side. One girl looked diagonally upwards. One girl apologized(maybe my face was too serious). sometimes I nodded or smiled to diffuse the social pressure. I finished up shopping and then decided head back home.

When I was getting on the bus I momentarily lost my balance since the bus lurched. I noticed a dude looking at me but thought nothing of it. later he was looking at me again, so I held eye-contact. but he kept staring at me so I smiled to break the tension. He kept staring at me. his outfit was alright, so I asked him his name as a way to finally break the tension. I couldn't hear him so I asked him to sit next to me. We got talking about random stuff. He lived about 15 blocks south of me. Eventually he started asking about my roommates and what they were doing today. I thought nothing of this at first, but just to be safe, I said "they're probably going to be at home"

He then proceeded to ask me if he could hang out at my place for twenty min and I repeatedly made some excuse that I was running on a tight schedule. he was being extremely persistent and switched up his requests "We'll just hang out for 5 min" "come to my place" "lets meet tomorrow if you're busy now". He carried on like this for a solid 15 minutes until I finally changed the subject. then, when my stop neared, he asked for my contact information, but I told him I had to leave.

Be careful guys, this newbie assignment is some powerful stuff...

 

[Skippy]

Re: ShuaiGe's Journal + Day 4

Here's a noteworthy conversation I had with Kat:

Me: Hey how's my favorite guinea pig(inside joke) doing I want to take you out for shakes this weekend. let me know when you're free
Her: Hey, I was thinking about booking you a few weeks in advance sometime. I'm glad to know your other friends haven't booked you yet!
Her: Sorry I just saw your message. I went to a concert tonight! are you free some time during the day on sunday?
Her: [Image of a guinea pig]
Her: I know someone who actually raises guinea pigs in his apartment
Me: actually, I had something more like this in mind [Image of an evil looking guinea pig with fangs]
Me: just kidding, you're the adorable kind
Her: Lol
Me: and actually I was booked tonight, tomorrow, and parts of sunday so I'll let you know tomorrow when I'll be free on sunday. and actually I just realized I was supposed to call someone now.
Her: Lol. its very funny the way you put it. no worries, I'm glad that you have many friends! if sunday doesn't work, just let me book you for sometime next week or the week after!
Her Have fun calling~

I decided to have some fun so I said...

Me: "let me book you for sometime the week after"...as if you didn't know what day that was referring to (valentines day!)
Her: What...? I'm confused
Me: and now that I think about it, its more prudent that I study for midterms coming up... so lets push it of
Her: OMG, its around Valentine's Day that weekend! I didn't mean that :')
Me: I'll be done with them by Thursday so maybe after that
Me: and okay but you could've fooled me
Her: Ah, I really wasn't trying to fool you. It would be awkward if I figure that out later 0.0
Her: That's okay! We can meet up after midterms.
Me: I'm just teasing you, katherine...and who knows maybe I'd liked to also get booked "the week after"
Her: Anyways, I can't believe I was so oblivious to this kind of things...It would be even more awkward if I try to book you the week after and neither of us realize that!
Me: well now that we both realize that, it's no longer awkward... so book away before someone else does!

This just reminds me of the time when a girl(let's call her Ellie) that liked me in high school invited me over to her house to watch movies. (I awkwardly made some excuse in order to say no). A few months later she got a boyfriend(he's a really good friend of mine, actually) and he told her that I was a bit uncomfortable with her asking me(high school gossip lol) so then she sent me a message in all caps saying that she was sorry and that she had meant it only "as friends". I was confused because I thought she really liked me. as predicted a few months after that, she confessed that she used to have a huge crush on me and that asking me over to her house was obviously because she liked me but she felt bad about being so forward.

I remember that whenever we would be sitting on the school bus, she would keep looking over at me with a grin on her face so her friends would tease her about it and she would always get flustered, turn red, and say "oh no, of course not!" Ellie and I are still good friends and I still see her when I'm back home for the breaks. I have no intention of dating her, and I think the only reason we can be such close friends now is because she has a boyfriend.


Last week Katherine had shared a really personal essay with me about the time she survived a natural disaster and had to make some difficult choices. She said she hadn't shared this with many people and she was fine talking about it, but just not in public because it would be very emotional for her.




Day 4
This one was definitely more challenging than the first three but I somehow managed to do it!

Girl 1: I was walking around the bookstore. One thing I noticed is that its easier to see single girls by the elevator. Walking around the city on a Saturday evening means many girls that you see tend to be with their boyfriends. I really should go earlier in the day, but that means I need to be more diligent about waking up early. So I was by the elevators and I saw her walking to the entrance and I said

Me: Hi... do you know where the water fountain is ... nearby?
Her: yeah its over there by the bathrooms
Me: ok thanks

Then I go drink some water. Turns out we are both headed the same direction and she turns around and excuses herself haha. I probably came off as a little nervous during that one.

Girls 2 and 3. I was walking on the streets and they were going the opposite direction and I just waved and said hi, but they ignored me.

Girl 4: A group of people were standing at the intersection waiting to cross. I walked up to her and she was staring straight ahead. So I asked

Me: Hello, do you know where the nearest 4 line stop is?
Her(while only turning her head slightly towards my direction but not giving eye-contact): No I don't, sorry.
Me: okay thanks

she was quite cold. I won't describe her since I don't want to associate negative stereotypes with her. but she was gorgeous

Girl 5: I saw her at the bus stop (of course I knew where the 4 line stop was haha). We made eye-contact and she seemed really friendly

Me: Hi
Her: smiles
Her(after a few seconds): I didn't know they had a trader Joe's nearby (she noticed my bags)
Me: yeah its on --Street
Her: thanks
Me: Yeah its actually cheaper than the grocery store near where I live so I just go here. even though its a 30 min drive--
Her:--Yeah its worth it

Then we sit on our phones for the next few minutes until the bus comes.

Girl 6: I went to swing dance and opened a girl that I didn't know and we danced for one song. Up until then, I had only been going for lessons, so you don't have the pressure of approaching. The dance was a bit boring since I only have a limited number of moves, but lets be honest, people go there to also meet others, so conversation is just as important. and I think this gives good practice for that.

I danced with another girl in my class and then sped off to the library to write this report haha. I guess I really should've danced with more girls but this is a start at least.

This year, I've been making eye-contact with girls more and then smiling. and when they smile back, it feels fucking amazing! I did that with two girls at swing dance today, but I didn't go approach either of them sadly. but yeah swing dance seems like a really friendly atmosphere and I will be back next week.

 

[Smurf]

Hey man! Subscribing to your journal!

I'd like to see how you progress, and I'm trying to make some gains as well!

Jake.

 

[Skippy]

Hey man! Subscribing to your journal!
I'd like to see how you progress, and I'm trying to make some gains as well!
Jake.

Hey Jake! Glad to hear from you! I haven't been active in a while since I was busy with midterms and an upcoming exam but hopefully next week I'll be able to get back into it. Having readers certainly helps keep me motivated.

Here's an update on what I've been up to since I haven't posted in a while. as mentioned, I've been drowning in work lately and haven't had the chance to go downtown to work on my newbie assignment. Actually I went once to try and do Day 5, but I ended up not approaching anyone. I think I'll redo day 4 and then try day 5. maybe both in the same day.

Katherine
I think I might be solidly in the boyfriend zone with this one since I asked her out on valentines day. After much deliberating, she finally responded yes. So we got dinner at some restaurant. It was our first official "date". She even told her mom about it, actually. She was really excited and said " you probably do this all the time, but for me, its my first time spending valentines with someone besides my mom"

I had a tinder date on Sunday, which I wrote about here : https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=13145 and I have another one on wednesday which is just getting shakes. my plan for that one is to just get some incidental contact and remember to be sexual with my nonverbals and tonality. It'll be brief since I have to go to class afterwards.

and then saturday, I'll probably be seeing katherine again since its her birthday. ambivalent feelings be damned, I'm going to try and finally close with her.

 

[Skippy]

Last night, I "slept" with Katherine... but its not what you think it means

What happened was, she came over to celebrate her birthday we did our usual routine of snuggling up on my bed and watching movies. This time, I was even more aggressive with touch and I would use incidental touch to rub her boobs and occasionally circle my finger over them she didn't say anything and hopefully she noticed, even though she was wearing a padded bra. in the middle of the movie, we were talking and she was holding eye contact for a while so I moved in for the kiss but she gave me her cheek. I should have pulled back but in the heat of the moment, I ended up just kissing her cheek. realizing that it wasn't an ideal move, I decided to be aloof with my body language and after a minute or so, she started touching shoulders again. so I decided to reward her with more touch.

After some time, it got late so she checked the shuttle routs and wasn't able to read them correctly and ended up missing the last shuttle which was at 6am. in the meantime, I was trying to convince her to stay over and that we could cuddle together and sleep and sometimes she would agree but then change her mind back again to wanting to go back home. She seemed very stressed. Around 6:30, she was too sleepy and kept begging me for caffeine but I didn't have any. So I offered her my shoulder but she said my pulse was too strong and couldn't sleep, so we lay down on top of the bed and after some time, she said she was cold so we got under the sheets. She dozed off and I was in such an uncomfortable position, that I couldn't sleep, but I was hoping to just stay still, and make sure she slept well so that in the morning, I could maybe escalate on her.

Around 8, she woke up and kept apologizing for disrupting my sleep schedule, but I tried to use a warm tone and said "no katherine, you're doing fine". Eventually, she got up and I talked to her a bit to convince her to get back in the sheets, but she just wouldn't. she apologized, and said she was really nervous and told me not to take it personally. so I looked her in the eye and said, "okay then" and she desparately gave me a hugs as if to say "plz love me still!"(she rarely initiates physical contact). I wasn't tired anymore and neither was she so we ended up making a big brunch and then she left. She told me how she's not used to physical contact and that her body reacts uncomfortably to it even though she doesn't want it to. She says shes been gradually getting used to my touch and I agree saying that I can feel the way her body reacts to my touch and it feels more and more comfortable.

I text her afterwards:

Me:heading to the gym hope you are awake and functioning!

Her: I just woke up...I'm glad you're going to the gym! Sorry about accidentally pulling an all nighter at your place again. I really appreciate that you tried to help me feel comfortable Thanks again for celebrating birthday with me. It feels like my birthday last for more than 2 days!

Me:Katherine, don't feel bad about staying over. you know, I enjoy snuggling with my special guinea pig I only wish you had brought your pj's... but I get it. sleeping over some place that you're not used to with a cute guy can be intimidating. takes time to get used to, but you end up really enjoying it.

Her: I'm glad you realize that you're a cute guy! And I agree with that Sorry I'm not used to intimacy with people...I just didn't want to make you or myself feel uncomfortable. Thanks for understanding

In other news, I will probably have two tinder dates next week. (the one I was supposed to have on wednesday got rescheduled). funny thing is, I ran into both of these girls today, but pretended not to see them (is it socially acceptable to acknowledge tinder girls in real life before you've met up with them?) At least my outfit was almost on point (black v-neck, a sexy slim black jacket,skinny jeans, and converse).

 

[Skippy]

I'm restarting this journal after a long hiatus. I read the previous post and realize I've come a long way since then haha. I've been doing alright on tinder as of late and now I want to stop procrastinating on learning daygame. Today I went downtown to check out a new mall. There was a huge crowd around 4, but before that, it was nearly dead and I was about to leave. I mostly just walked around trying to deal with my approach anxiety but finally, I approached one girl

I notice she has striking red pants so I walk near her at the exit until I'm walking slightly in front of her. I turn to her, she doesn't notice just yet.

Me: Hey, this is really random but...
Her: what's up?
Me: I like the color of your pants
Her: Thanks

Yea, not the best, but at least I did it. A couple things I learned
1. If I'm feeling like I might bitch out, I should at least start walking up to the girl or walk up to the side and then I turn towards her so that it forces me to say something.
2. It's a good idea to talk to people on the bus ride there so that I'm warmed up.
3. No need to use the phrase "this is really random". I should just say "hey" and wait for her to get out of her headspace
4. I should speak a bit louder
5. Once I get a bit more comfortable giving compliments, I can work on banter etc...

The good thing is that thanks to tinder, once I learn to get phone number, I'm in pretty familiar territory. So hopefully my learning curve won't be so steep