26 October 2016 FR:
What's up gents!
I've been getting a lot of dates on this app called Tantan (similar to Tinder) in China. I matched with a cute girl in Xi'an.
I met up with Ziyu on a Wednesday night at 9.45pm. She had long hair, a long face, and pointy chin. Her best features were her supple skin and beautiful eyes. She stood about an inch taller than me at 5'6. Despite her longish face, I thought she was cute. She had this cute shy Chinese girl vibe about her which I absolutely dug. She was sporting a Nike down jacket, a turtle neck, and black leather pants. I was wearing a denim jacket over a plain black crew neck top. My bottoms were skinny dark grey jeans with big rips at the knees. Around my neck was a Yin Yang pendant. I donned dark brown oiled leather boots.
We arranged to meet at my hostel, so logistics were pretty much perfect. I met Ziyu outside of the hostel entrance. I wanted to meet outside to avoid the awkward introductions in front of reception staff. I stood waiting outside the entrance, and 30 seconds or so later, Ziyu approached me. As I locked eyes with her, I put on a sweet smile. I could tell that she was probably a little bit awkward as a person. Her stiff arm positions gave her away. We small talked for a couple of seconds. "Ziyu, right? I'm Jeff". I stuck out my hand and clasped hers. I leaned in for a cheek-cheek kiss whilst holding onto her hand. I held onto it for 2 seconds after the kiss, which seemed to excite the both of us. I then led us inside and to the lift and we went up to the 12th floor. My main focus was on building comfort with her. We entered the bar and ordered our drinks. We spoke almost exclusively in Chinese.
My main purpose with Ziyu at this point to build comfort, considering how her personality seemed pretty skittish. I focused on making sure that I myself was feeling calm, and had a strong emphasis on a warm, sweet smile and welcoming eye contact. She initially seemed a bit on edge when I met her, but she seemed to warm up to me a few minutes later at the bar. I deep dove her on travels, and her aspirations. She had studied singing because her mum wanted her to do it, but she didn't like it. She wanted to be an astrophysicist. She then enquired about what I had studied, and I told her that I graduated from the Bachelor of Biomedicine in 2015. When I told her this, she was very surprised and also excited. Biomedicine was her second dream option after astrophysics. At one point we really connected and she moved her hand across the table and I grabbed onto to her hand and rested mine on top of hers, leaving it there for about a minute or so. Then I deep dived her about her musical ability. She played piano and violin, and I rewarded her qualifying herself to me. She eventually deep dived me a bit, and I revealed that I loved to dance. She thought that I was terrific. At one point, she outright said she thought I was cute. At one point she leaned over to inspect my Yin Yang pednant. We seemed to connect a lot during drinks, and I figured it was time to pull (in Chinese) "Brr, I'm cold right now. Let's go back to my room, where it's a bit warmer." She agreed. We went up to pay for drinks, and she ended up paying for both of ours. I thanked her. She then returned back to her original seat. I think I must've phrased my pull incorrectly in Chinese. I told her we should go, because I needed to go back to my room to get my jacket. She asked, "Where should we sit?" I replied, "We can sit in my room." I then left the bar, assuming that she'd come... but she didn't. I guess she misunderstood me. In any case I played along and grabbed my jacket and returned to the bar. I caught a glimpse of her going to the bathroom. She'd left her stuff on the seat next to her. I sat down. She then came back from the bathroom, crept up behind me and tried to playfully scare me. I didn't flinch at all, which she commented on. She small talked a bit more, and I decide to pull again 30 seconds or so later. "You know what? I'm still so cold here. Let's go back to my room where it's warmer and quieter, and we can chat there." She agreed, and we were off. We only had to walk about 20 seconds to my room, because it was on the same floor. I grabbed onto her hand and held it as we walked towards my room. She seemed to stiffen up a tiny bit as I did so, so I focused on building comfort in the transition by doing light pull talk.
20 seconds later, we were in my room. I popped off my shoes and climbed into my bed. I told her to take off her shoes, but she replied in Chinese and I didn't understand what she meant. She remained sitting on the couch. I then went into the bathroom to do my own thing for a bit and give her some alone time to get comfortable. I then climbed onto my bed. She remained on her seat. I told her to take off her shoes again, so that she could get more comfortable and that I didn't like having shoes on in my room. She reluctantly complied, and I told her to join me on the bed. She resisted yet again, but I persisted and she yielded.
At this point, I was focused on making her comfortable. I was putting on my "sweet talk" that I was still experimenting with, where I would act very cute and sweet when talking. I explain this in greater detail in my past reports. Anyway, the sweet talking seemed to ease her up. At one point I decided to go for a kiss. I don't remember what we were talking about prior to the kiss. I think it seemed quite spontaneous. The kiss was not well received at all, and she leaned FAR back. I didn't even connect my lips onto her face. Usually when my kiss is received by a turned cheek, I at least try to kiss their cheek. Anyway, no big deal. Through recent experiences and lessons, I've learnt to desensitise myself to getting my kiss rejected. I've also decided to ditch my old technique to land a kiss, where I'd say something like, "Wait, before you continue, I need to kiss you first."
Anyway, I continued speaking in a cute and sweet way, landing kisses onto her cheeks when I was talking. It was received by flinching, but after a few more kisses, she flinched less and less. She commented that my heartbeat was very fast, and at multiple times questioned whether I was jumpy. I assured her I was calm and put on a very placid facial expression. We eventually cuddled on the bed, and I caressed her body, eventually kissing her on the lips. She flinched, but I remained unreactive. In the midst of my sweet talk, she implied that my Chinese speaking ability was cute. As part of my cute persona I dramatically withdrew from hugging her and faced the other way, playfully complaining that she was insulting my Chinese speaking ability, and that I was embarassed because of it. Of course I wasn't actually insulted though. When I faced the other away, pretending to be upset (she knew that I was just goofing around) she put her arms around me and confirmed that she meant she thought my Chinese was cute, but also good (even though it's not, my spoken Chinese is terrible). After a while, I decided to cuddle her again, and she seemed much more receptive to me. I think part of the reason was due to taking a break from pursuing her with my escalation, because at this point, the escalation was very one sided - I was escalating her, despite her resistance. At one point she asked about other girls I'd met on Tantan. I reassured her that I thought she was a cool girl, and I thought she was sweet and special. I figured that my value through my fundamentals was high, so I made sure to make sure my attainability was high enough.
Anyway, I finally managed to get her comfortable with kissing me, and she no longer flinched when I locked lips with her. At the hint of my implementation of tongue though, she'd recoil once again. By this point, it was about 11.15pm, and she had to head off. Despite my persistence in asking her to stay, she insisted that her mother was expecting her home. I managed to finally to get her comfortable with kissing me though, so I was happy to be able to blast through her resistance. I later figured that she must've been extremely inexperienced with kissing. I actually asked her whether I was her first kiss, but she didn't answer me. She said that she wanted to see me again someday, and seemed sad that I was leaving for Chengdu the next day. I reassured her, that she should be glad she had a good time with me, not sad that our time together had come to an end. She said that someday she wanted to come visit me in Melbourne. I figured that she was probably inexperienced and an idealistic girl based on that remark.
I proceeded to walk her out, and we took selfies, and enjoyed our last moments together, walking hand in hand. I gave her a passionate kiss goodbye, and walked back towards my hostel. I think I probably could have slept with her if she stayed for longer, but I wasn't too fussed.
Ziyu messaged me a week later to make conversation.
-----
Finishing thoughts.
What I did well:
- I managed to build comfort very well, especially considering her shy personality and a slight awkwardness about her.
- I persisted well, both in getting her to stay with me for longer, and physically escalating, and telling her to join me in bed, and taking off her shoes.
- I had strong fundamentals.
- My frame was strong and I didn't flinch when things didn't go as expected.
- My pull was confident and assured.
- I managed my attainability well through rewarding her qualifying.
What I could've done better:
I could have focused more on escalating compliance and her investment. I think perhaps the first kiss was a little too soon, and I should've escalated physically a bit more first. I would've also focused on making sure that I seemed more calm, and not at all jumpy or eager during escalation. My fast heart rate was problematic.
More reports coming up!
Jeffrey
What's up gents!
I've been getting a lot of dates on this app called Tantan (similar to Tinder) in China. I matched with a cute girl in Xi'an.
I met up with Ziyu on a Wednesday night at 9.45pm. She had long hair, a long face, and pointy chin. Her best features were her supple skin and beautiful eyes. She stood about an inch taller than me at 5'6. Despite her longish face, I thought she was cute. She had this cute shy Chinese girl vibe about her which I absolutely dug. She was sporting a Nike down jacket, a turtle neck, and black leather pants. I was wearing a denim jacket over a plain black crew neck top. My bottoms were skinny dark grey jeans with big rips at the knees. Around my neck was a Yin Yang pendant. I donned dark brown oiled leather boots.
We arranged to meet at my hostel, so logistics were pretty much perfect. I met Ziyu outside of the hostel entrance. I wanted to meet outside to avoid the awkward introductions in front of reception staff. I stood waiting outside the entrance, and 30 seconds or so later, Ziyu approached me. As I locked eyes with her, I put on a sweet smile. I could tell that she was probably a little bit awkward as a person. Her stiff arm positions gave her away. We small talked for a couple of seconds. "Ziyu, right? I'm Jeff". I stuck out my hand and clasped hers. I leaned in for a cheek-cheek kiss whilst holding onto her hand. I held onto it for 2 seconds after the kiss, which seemed to excite the both of us. I then led us inside and to the lift and we went up to the 12th floor. My main focus was on building comfort with her. We entered the bar and ordered our drinks. We spoke almost exclusively in Chinese.
My main purpose with Ziyu at this point to build comfort, considering how her personality seemed pretty skittish. I focused on making sure that I myself was feeling calm, and had a strong emphasis on a warm, sweet smile and welcoming eye contact. She initially seemed a bit on edge when I met her, but she seemed to warm up to me a few minutes later at the bar. I deep dove her on travels, and her aspirations. She had studied singing because her mum wanted her to do it, but she didn't like it. She wanted to be an astrophysicist. She then enquired about what I had studied, and I told her that I graduated from the Bachelor of Biomedicine in 2015. When I told her this, she was very surprised and also excited. Biomedicine was her second dream option after astrophysics. At one point we really connected and she moved her hand across the table and I grabbed onto to her hand and rested mine on top of hers, leaving it there for about a minute or so. Then I deep dived her about her musical ability. She played piano and violin, and I rewarded her qualifying herself to me. She eventually deep dived me a bit, and I revealed that I loved to dance. She thought that I was terrific. At one point, she outright said she thought I was cute. At one point she leaned over to inspect my Yin Yang pednant. We seemed to connect a lot during drinks, and I figured it was time to pull (in Chinese) "Brr, I'm cold right now. Let's go back to my room, where it's a bit warmer." She agreed. We went up to pay for drinks, and she ended up paying for both of ours. I thanked her. She then returned back to her original seat. I think I must've phrased my pull incorrectly in Chinese. I told her we should go, because I needed to go back to my room to get my jacket. She asked, "Where should we sit?" I replied, "We can sit in my room." I then left the bar, assuming that she'd come... but she didn't. I guess she misunderstood me. In any case I played along and grabbed my jacket and returned to the bar. I caught a glimpse of her going to the bathroom. She'd left her stuff on the seat next to her. I sat down. She then came back from the bathroom, crept up behind me and tried to playfully scare me. I didn't flinch at all, which she commented on. She small talked a bit more, and I decide to pull again 30 seconds or so later. "You know what? I'm still so cold here. Let's go back to my room where it's warmer and quieter, and we can chat there." She agreed, and we were off. We only had to walk about 20 seconds to my room, because it was on the same floor. I grabbed onto her hand and held it as we walked towards my room. She seemed to stiffen up a tiny bit as I did so, so I focused on building comfort in the transition by doing light pull talk.
20 seconds later, we were in my room. I popped off my shoes and climbed into my bed. I told her to take off her shoes, but she replied in Chinese and I didn't understand what she meant. She remained sitting on the couch. I then went into the bathroom to do my own thing for a bit and give her some alone time to get comfortable. I then climbed onto my bed. She remained on her seat. I told her to take off her shoes again, so that she could get more comfortable and that I didn't like having shoes on in my room. She reluctantly complied, and I told her to join me on the bed. She resisted yet again, but I persisted and she yielded.
At this point, I was focused on making her comfortable. I was putting on my "sweet talk" that I was still experimenting with, where I would act very cute and sweet when talking. I explain this in greater detail in my past reports. Anyway, the sweet talking seemed to ease her up. At one point I decided to go for a kiss. I don't remember what we were talking about prior to the kiss. I think it seemed quite spontaneous. The kiss was not well received at all, and she leaned FAR back. I didn't even connect my lips onto her face. Usually when my kiss is received by a turned cheek, I at least try to kiss their cheek. Anyway, no big deal. Through recent experiences and lessons, I've learnt to desensitise myself to getting my kiss rejected. I've also decided to ditch my old technique to land a kiss, where I'd say something like, "Wait, before you continue, I need to kiss you first."
Anyway, I continued speaking in a cute and sweet way, landing kisses onto her cheeks when I was talking. It was received by flinching, but after a few more kisses, she flinched less and less. She commented that my heartbeat was very fast, and at multiple times questioned whether I was jumpy. I assured her I was calm and put on a very placid facial expression. We eventually cuddled on the bed, and I caressed her body, eventually kissing her on the lips. She flinched, but I remained unreactive. In the midst of my sweet talk, she implied that my Chinese speaking ability was cute. As part of my cute persona I dramatically withdrew from hugging her and faced the other way, playfully complaining that she was insulting my Chinese speaking ability, and that I was embarassed because of it. Of course I wasn't actually insulted though. When I faced the other away, pretending to be upset (she knew that I was just goofing around) she put her arms around me and confirmed that she meant she thought my Chinese was cute, but also good (even though it's not, my spoken Chinese is terrible). After a while, I decided to cuddle her again, and she seemed much more receptive to me. I think part of the reason was due to taking a break from pursuing her with my escalation, because at this point, the escalation was very one sided - I was escalating her, despite her resistance. At one point she asked about other girls I'd met on Tantan. I reassured her that I thought she was a cool girl, and I thought she was sweet and special. I figured that my value through my fundamentals was high, so I made sure to make sure my attainability was high enough.
Anyway, I finally managed to get her comfortable with kissing me, and she no longer flinched when I locked lips with her. At the hint of my implementation of tongue though, she'd recoil once again. By this point, it was about 11.15pm, and she had to head off. Despite my persistence in asking her to stay, she insisted that her mother was expecting her home. I managed to finally to get her comfortable with kissing me though, so I was happy to be able to blast through her resistance. I later figured that she must've been extremely inexperienced with kissing. I actually asked her whether I was her first kiss, but she didn't answer me. She said that she wanted to see me again someday, and seemed sad that I was leaving for Chengdu the next day. I reassured her, that she should be glad she had a good time with me, not sad that our time together had come to an end. She said that someday she wanted to come visit me in Melbourne. I figured that she was probably inexperienced and an idealistic girl based on that remark.
I proceeded to walk her out, and we took selfies, and enjoyed our last moments together, walking hand in hand. I gave her a passionate kiss goodbye, and walked back towards my hostel. I think I probably could have slept with her if she stayed for longer, but I wasn't too fussed.
Ziyu messaged me a week later to make conversation.
-----
Finishing thoughts.
What I did well:
- I managed to build comfort very well, especially considering her shy personality and a slight awkwardness about her.
- I persisted well, both in getting her to stay with me for longer, and physically escalating, and telling her to join me in bed, and taking off her shoes.
- I had strong fundamentals.
- My frame was strong and I didn't flinch when things didn't go as expected.
- My pull was confident and assured.
- I managed my attainability well through rewarding her qualifying.
What I could've done better:
I could have focused more on escalating compliance and her investment. I think perhaps the first kiss was a little too soon, and I should've escalated physically a bit more first. I would've also focused on making sure that I seemed more calm, and not at all jumpy or eager during escalation. My fast heart rate was problematic.
More reports coming up!
Jeffrey