Signs she dont want to be seduced. What are they?

[kristian]

Hey, guys.

As I am getting better and better at gaming girls, I am now at a new sticking point.

Do you remember I got the boyfriend excuse a lot before?
Now that problem is gone. Part of this has to do with me applying the "Are you single?"-approach. The other half has to do with screening and qualifying girls really hard. I give them reasons why I like them before asking for numbers.

My texting game has become a lot better as well and I am good at leading the interactions, having several girls over to my place

But all my instant dates and first dates has ended the same way: for one reason or another, the girl do not want to sleep with me. She still want to meet me after my failed escalation, though. However, I am having the feeling that I somehow boyfriend-zone myself. Its not that I am bad at sending sexual vibes, I often flirt a lot with women with a hard on (but these girls do not want to go on a date. They want to be seduced then and there, I believe but need more data points).

So the women that say yes to a date are often the ones that see me as a boyfriend, the ones who doesn't want to date, seem more ready to make it happen then and there (I only tried this once at nighttime, but did not have any logistics handled).

So now I have a little problem:

If I screen and qualify too hard, I get dates but these girls "arent that easy" or "want to know me better".
If I am too flirty and sexual, the girls want to touch and escalate. However these girls often flake, making it hard to set up a date.

So my question is: How do I find the perfect balance in order to get them committed, but not as much so they see me as a boyfriend?


It could be that I am not good at finding women that want to date and fuck the first time around. I could as well meet the "boyfriend"-girls for a couple of dates and later close them. But I don't want to hurt anybody/waste my time so if I do not lay a girl, I usually do not give her a second chance.

How do I screen the DTF-girls, and how do I qualify them enough to agree on a date with me?

The reason I am asking is because I often do not go out at nighttime (I am working a lot lately and like to set up my meetings in advance). But I still want to meet girls to have sex with on the first date.

Any suggestions would be helpfull.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey Kristian,

Really good question, man.

If you want to get specific here - you want to show up where DTF girls go to get laid. I'd point to nightgame and Tinder for that.

But it sounds like you want to stick to daygame or set up your meetings in advance. That's cool, I do that too.

What you want to imagine here is what is the perfect end feeling of the first meet. How do you want her to feel when she leaves?

Sexual? No, that alone fades away too quick. Happy? Sorta, but not in a friendly way.

You want her to feel excited and genuinely happy to be in your presence.

Best way to do this is to focus on humour. That means flirting and banter. Reason why is humour gets rid of the wall that separates two strangers from each other. Then establish a couple mutual interests. Then end on a high note.

Touching? Meh, maybe once. Save the deep rapport for the date. Good for getting her sexual, but it fades too quickly.

Hope that helps, Kristian

Nick

 

[kristian]

Hey Kristian,

What you want to imagine here is what is the perfect end feeling of the first meet. How do you want her to feel when she leaves?

Sexual? No, that alone fades away too quick. Happy? Sorta, but not in a friendly way.

So does it mean she feels some negativity after me being sexual with her? I usually loose girls faster after being very sexual and not sealing the deal. It feels like they already know what "our next meeting is about". So they are more flakey than if I appear harmless and friendly.

Another thing I've been seeing: Sexual tension is exhausting. I've been trying it out and realize that it takes a lot of mental energy to get myself horny (when building my conversational skills and flirting techniques simultaneously). I can't keep it for more than 5 - 10 minutes (and I see those girls give me the eye). But that's that. Is this normal?

And thank you for pointing out the humorous side of seduction. I've been too busy getting deep dive and sexual tension down. These two have given me a lot of good reactions. But I am also seeing that my interactions can come across as too serious and heavy. I think lighting it up can make it more interesting (for both parties).

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey Kristian,

So does it mean she feels some negativity after me being sexual with her? I usually loose girls faster after being very sexual and not sealing the deal. It feels like they already know what "our next meeting is about". So they are more flakey than if I appear harmless and friendly.

What you're seeing here is the difference between theory and real-world results.

The real reason comes down to psychology in sales. If you are close to buying a product, but debated to buy it and backed out, you will almost certainly NOT go back and buy the product. Why is this? The brain made its decision, and to avoid further conflicting thoughts, shuts off the option entirely.

This is why excitability is key in sales. You get exciting hints of the product, but you don't actually have the chance to buy it. You're simply more curious about it. And the decision will be made later, when you can really sit down and think about it.

And it's the same with grabbing girl's numbers and setting up a meet with them. Show a little bit of sexual intent in the first meeting...but keeping it mostly curious and fun is actually the key here.

Another thing I've been seeing: Sexual tension is exhausting. I've been trying it out and realize that it takes a lot of mental energy to get myself horny (when building my conversational skills and flirting techniques simultaneously). I can't keep it for more than 5 - 10 minutes (and I see those girls give me the eye). But that's that. Is this normal?

Sure, that sounds normal.

Feeling sexual in the interaction is a lot like trying to get hard while having sex. If you're thinking about too many things, it's hard to get an erection.

But if you're totally present in the moment, it's the easiest thing in the world. Later when you're not balancing so many variables, it'll become much easier!

And thank you for pointing out the humorous side of seduction. I've been too busy getting deep dive and sexual tension down. These two have given me a lot of good reactions. But I am also seeing that my interactions can come across as too serious and heavy. I think lighting it up can make it more interesting (for both parties).

What you'll find is that humour actually takes sexual tension and deep-diving...and puts it on steroids.

Why? Because deep-diving builds tension, and sexual tension of the kind you do, which I assume like most others on this site is quite intense and smooth, also builds lots of tension. If all that tension keeps building up and doesn't get released, the conversation starts feeling top-heavy and you'll want to exit the conversation to get some fresh air.

Humour lets out this pressure. And man, it feels incredible! And immediately after, you go back to building tension again. Use humour strategically to keep tension in balance (not too high, and not too low). Also careful not to release too much tension through humour, otherwise you'll start eating at the sexual tension too. Have enough tension to feel the sexuality, but not enough that the conversation starts feeling heavy and tedious.

Nick