I'm a sophomore in college and been meeting quite a few girls here at the university. Thing is, I'm also a single dad. Now, as you would guest, pretty much all of the girls I talk to are ages 18-21 and don't have kids and don't know what parenthood is like. Last year, I hooked up with a girl and after she found out that I was a single dad (via Facebook stalking) things got pretty weird and a female friend of mine even told me that she posted a twitter update stating her shock about the fact that I am a single dad. Now, I don't tell most of the girls I'm planning to bed that I have kids unless it comes up (I'm normally somewhat mysterious in an outing with a girl and provide short answers and turn the conversation back to her so I can deep dive). Now Facebook stalking is pretty common among my target demographic and I recently just joined a frat and we have date nights coming up where girls will definitely be Facebook stalking to get a feel for what I'm like and how I look. Now I like to decide when to tell a girl I'm a single dad because that can sometimes make things weird (hence the girl mentioned before). With the possibility of Facebook stalking, should I just keep my Facebook or delete it? Are there any benefits of allowing girls in my age group to know I'm a single dad?
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- Nov 20, 2012
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Being a single dad has a few issues. But the most important thing that it does for you is disqualifies you as an "ideal" boyfriend candidate, which is great for fast sex. You may have to explicitly state that you aren't too worried about getting into a serious relationship and like doing things for fun.
I'd say try to make things more about having a night of fun rather than anything serious right off the bat. It works in your favor if you are a sexy man, but it also makes women who are solely looking for a guy without kids to have a relationship dismiss you. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing; you wouldn't want to get into a relationship with a woman if she didn't support your children/lifestyle.
I'd say try to make things more about having a night of fun rather than anything serious right off the bat. It works in your favor if you are a sexy man, but it also makes women who are solely looking for a guy without kids to have a relationship dismiss you. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing; you wouldn't want to get into a relationship with a woman if she didn't support your children/lifestyle.
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Perhaps. Bringing it up feels a little bit too much like you are forcing the idea that you aren't an ideal candidate for boyfriend. It's also something that people have a hard time relating to, which may position yourself as an 'other', thus compromising your emotional connection. So don't bring it up; let them do it if they were Facebook stalking you, then you can go along with it.
Explicitly stating that you're a single dad and only looking for a casual, fun relationship is prone to scare most girls away. If they find out, and ask about it, I suggest trying to relate it to them somehow or completely cutting the conversation thread, and then lead on as if you aren't specifically looking for a girlfriend. Something that's worked well for me is telling women that I'm looking for someone to have fun with. Then, if she asks me if I'm afraid of commitment, I can always throw them for a loop by saying that I'm not adverse to getting into a relationship
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