Sitting position during dates: Advantages/Disadvantages?

[diegoC]

I was wondering how you guys prefer positioning when you are sitting during dates.

I like being close to a girl. When I've been on dates I usually prefer sitting next to her. Like this:

What's your style? To the side? Front to front style?

Any advantages/disadvantages you have found in each style?

Cheers!

 

[NarrowJ]

I sit next to them if at all possible. If you're across from them you can't really touch them. However, if you guys get a booth and you plop down next to her- she'll probably think that's kind of weird unless it's not a first date.

My preference is bar stools. Not only can you sit close enough to her to be touching her, but if the stools swivel it's also a nice little indicator in my opinion. If someone is into you, interested in what you're saying, they'll be facing you- or at least somewhat facing you. If she is constantly facing you during the interaction, this is good. If she is partially facing you, this is also somewhat good. If she is facing forward the entire time (or god forbid away from you), then she's not really all that into the conversation/interaction.

 

[Estate]

Good topic!

Something I never thought about until the last few months. A date is a date right? Wrong! Haha.

Sitting like in the picture, side by side is much better I have found. If you meet at a bar, I like to either sit side by side at the bar but angle yourself towards her in a 45degree angle, not directly sideways at her and not facing the bar.
If you are at a table, I usually let her sit and just go next to her and say "It'll be easier to talk, next to you".
The advantages are obvious, you're closer, you can touch, she can lean in, if it's going well you'll notice her probably resting her leg against yours.

Facing each other across the table isn't so good. I've had literally the same date sitting across from a girl and sitting next to her but it's not the same. Thats why I now hate dinner dates or anywhere you have to sit across. It sets a more formal tone, it's less intimate, it's harder to talk often if it's a busy or loud location and it just creates a distance that you cannot close.
Even if your talk and attitude is sexy, actually touching her or moving closer seems more forced or deliberate.

Others thought? I don't see this as gospel but from my experience, always set a more intimate and less formal tone to any interaction, much easier to get closer to her.

 

[Franco]

Diego,

Personally, I prefer the directly across approach. If you've got your fundamentals down extremely well (meaning sexy eye contact, good posture, unfazed voice tone, and, if you can, a playful, yet sexy vibe), then being directly in front of her can actually be very intimate. These days, I prefer to make the girl crave my touch by the end of the date so that that way she'll be intrigued and excited enough to accept my offer to come home with me.

However, I have seen plenty of LRs on this site already where members were somewhat physical and touchy-feely during the date, and this certainly can work, and I actually believe it helps make you more comfortable to know that you can touch her. If you feel a little uneasy, then breaking the touch barrier early can help give you some more confidence to close things out when it actually matters.

This has been linked somewhere on this forum before, but I'll go ahead and link it again. This is a scene between George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez using the "face-to-face" orientation on a date:

"Out of Sight" Movie Clip

EDIT: You also have to have a very dominant vibe... you need to appear in control of the date and that nothing she says really breaks you off of your focus. Women will pick up on this if you can maintain it during the entire date. It's a form of congruence. If you notice in the clip above, there are several moments where Jennifer puts her head down, yet George keeps his head up high and keeps his gaze focused on her. This is a sign of submission on Jennifer's part, and a sign that she knows that he is in control of the interaction. Good stuff!

Cheers,

Franco

 

[Tyme2k]

"Out of Sight" Movie Clip

Damn, Clooney has fundamentals..

I see a flaw with this interaction though, both of them are leaning in, very close, which is creating tons of sexual tension. This seems to me as a really hard scenerio to create in real life.

I usually prefer next to each other. It seems less intimidating for her and she can easily submit/look away or down instead of feeling tons of pressure when you are gazing accross from her. Then it's easier to tease with light kino which is an integral part of my game.

 

[diegoC]

"Out of Sight" Movie Clip

Yeah, I had seen this scene. Nice.

Personally, I prefer the directly across approach. If you've got your fundamentals down extremely well (meaning sexy eye contact, good posture, unfazed voice tone, and, if you can, a playful, yet sexy vibe), then being directly in front of her can actually be very intimate. These days, I prefer to make the girl crave my touch by the end of the date so that that way she'll be intrigued and excited enough to accept my offer to come home with me.

I totally understand your style. It's good, sure. I guess you could always use incidental touch with your feet if you want to. Maybe I'll try a seat across.

I see a flaw with this interaction though, both of them are leaning in, very close, which is creating tons of sexual tension. This seems to me as a really hard scenerio to create in real life.

Exactly. That's what I thought when I saw that video. In any interaction it would be very unlikely that she will be leaning in right away. If you lean in it doesn't mean she will do so. So, when seating in front of her, you would actually be seating straight, probably with your back against the seatback. It's not bad, I just think the same as Tyme: Not very likely to happen soon enough in the interaction, and perhaps, not even later.

Cheers!

 

[Estate]

Franco,
Doesn't that assume a huge amount of investment/attraction from her already?
Surely this wouldn't be a first date strategy? Especially if you didn't already know her well beforehand?

If I've already been intimate with a girl, I can see the advantage of sitting across from her... what you said it completely accurate.
But if you've just met the girl, she's still forming an opinion of you... wouldn't you need enourmous amount of game to ignore the "easier" route.

Not sure if I'm saying this right but it's not that sitting across will make a date fail... it's just that it's more difficult to set that intimate vibe with her when sitting in a more formal way without already having heavy investment from her.
My idea of sitting nearer is to GET that investment/attraction on the date.

Think of the path of least resistance, of course both can work, but why make it harder unless you're looking for the challenge?

 

[The Tool]

I'm going to have to agree with Franco. For me sitting across from eachother is the best. I always get light kino in before we sit down and when we sit across from eachother she begins to crave my touch even more. I have found as well that sitting across creates alot more sexual tension.

To estate. Yes this is for all my first dates as well

(FRANCO) Personally, I prefer the directly across approach. If you've got your fundamentals down extremely well (meaning sexy eye contact, good posture, unfazed voice tone, and, if you can, a playful, yet sexy vibe), then being directly in front of her can actually be very intimate. These days, I prefer to make the girl crave my touch by the end of the date so that that way she'll be intrigued and excited enough to accept my offer to come home with me

MUCH AGREED!!!!!

( I find sitting closer the dates almost end up with both of you looking down alot because you are so close. When you are across from one another its good clean eye contact.)

 

[Franco]

A few things to point out here.

First of all, you should be completely ignoring what Jennifer does in this scene in the clip. Every girl is going to sit and interact in her own way, but that should be irrelevant to the body language you are giving off. As a matter of fact, most of the women that I am on dates with are usually leaning back in their chair for most, if not all of the conversation. But whenever we are on a deep subject, I almost always lean forward over the table to show that she has my attention. I also try to lock eyes and seem very relaxed. There will be moments when you lean back, and generally I'll lean back when I smile or something funny is said between us, but your motions should be controlled and smooth. George Clooney should be the focus of the clip I linked above.

The second thing I'd like to point out is that you shouldn't be focusing too much on investment from her during the actual date. She's already agreed to meet up with you in a one-on-one scenario, and that is extremely heavy investment on her part. It's almost at the point for me now where, if I can get a girl out with me on a date, I'm extremely confident that she'll be coming home with me, barring any completely unforeseen interruptions. Your focus here should be building up sexual tension and intrigue in her without giving her any form of release, unless she comes home with you of course...

The things you do want to look out for are things like her checking her phone constantly or answering texts/calls during the date. Every girl usually gives herself a "back-up" plan in case it isn't going well, and a lot of times it involves the use of her phone. If she's barely checking her phone, that's usually a good sign. If you actually see her ignore texts/calls on her phone, then that's an even better sign. It's a clear indicator that she doesn't want to interrupt the interaction between the both of you.

I don't believe sitting across from her or next to her is really a deal-breaker on the date, but much of my success has come from keeping physical contact extremely minimal and keeping my vibe extremely relaxed, sexual, and playful. Tyme mentions that kino is a big part of his dating process, so obviously both ways work. You'll need to experiment with what works best for you.

- Franco

 

[trashKENNUT]

It feels so awkward to touch girls during dates now, i'm just somewhat lean to more building tension. and she becomes girly later!

Just my thoughts.

Zac