Sleeping Over in a Casual Relationship?

[Zoro]

I like falling asleep with a nude cutie in my arms and waking up with a nude cutie in my arms.

But is this setting wrong expectations? Are there ways to set the right expectations of something casual or open when having the girls sleep over?

I want to make sure I handle my girls' emotions well and leave them better than I found.

 

[Dude909]

Good question, and it comes from a good intention. The answer within the context of a fuckbuddy or friends with benefits arrangement is an absolute NO, --- UNLESS you are very experienced --- and since you're asking this question it means you are far from experienced enough.

If you are willing to go the MLTR route, that is, an open relationship with a girl you "like like", then yes by all means go for it. But first make sure you are not going to change your mind after a few weeks and dump her just as she's falling for you.

 

[Zoro]

Thanks for the reply Dude909,

Do have experience handling this type of situation?

My last relationship was very low drama, and casual. I saw her once a week for 4 months straight and we'd have great sex and she'd sleep over every time.
It also ended very easy and on good terms.

So in that relationship it went fine.

But she was also uncharacteristically well adjusted.

 

[mb1]

Dunno if it'll help, but my last girlfriend said she always slept over for every one night stand she could or else she would feel cheap. She liked to think every lay was someone that she liked and got along with rather than someone whose house she'd have to leave real late at night. It's just a guest courtesy thing really. Sleeping's far less intimate than what just happened. Cuddling's the question though, as that's what creates oxytocin/bonding.

It feels awesome.

 

[Lotus]

Think of it as a see-saw you want to keep the balance. Depending on what your goal is you can use different things to keep the balance.

Yes, having her sleep over is going to push things toward a relationship... but if you maintain the balance it's fine.

You've done it before there's no reason to think you can't do it again just stay aware of her feelings.

 

[Franco]

To elaborate on Dude909's post, an "experienced" guy knows how to make the invitation seem to come from a place of non-neediness rather than an "invitation to make this something more."

If this is a girl you do not want to take into a long-term relationship, your other actions still need to be communicating that. No dates; no friends; no buying her gifts. Just sex, good conversation, and sleeping over. Cuddling (to a certain degree) can be fine, but usually I try to avoid letting her fall asleep in my arms. It gets too intimate at that point.

When you're experienced, you get a feel for how easily attached each individual girl can get, and you know how much you can give her without her expecting much more in return. So until you feel very comfortable with doing that, it's probably safer to just not let her sleep over if you want to keep things casual.

- Franco

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I agree with Franco. If you want to cuddle get on of those body pillows. It won't fall in love with you or you it. At least I hope not.

 

[Lotus]

Cant argue with any of that logic

 

[Big Daddy]

When you're experienced, you get a feel for how easily attached each individual girl can get, and you know how much you can give her without her expecting much more in return. So until you feel very comfortable with doing that, it's probably safer to just not let her sleep over if you want to keep things casual.

In every aspect of seduction, this (calibration) is my problem. I don't want to look like I want to turn them into GFs; it's just that, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, the only thing I want to do after late night sex is turn to the side and SLEEP.

P.S. Wouldn't you get more calibrated faster if you let them sleep? You're getting some reference points doing that.

 

[Franco]

Big Daddy,

P.S. Wouldn't you get more calibrated faster if you let them sleep? You're getting some reference points doing that.

Well, you get reference points either way. If you let her sleep over and act too boyfriend-y, the reference points you'll get will be her trying to get you to do more boyfriend-like things and see her more often. If you don't let her sleep over and don't act boyfriend-y, the reference points you'll get are her not investing too much into you outside of sex because she's wary of the fact that you're keeping things casual and communicating things as casual.

- Franco

 

[Zoro]

Thanks for all the responses and I agree with you.

It's taken me awhile to respond because I've been seeing a new girl the past 2 weeks and "breaking the rules" of casual relationships. I've learned a lot and the main point being...

If this is a girl you do not want to take into a long-term relationship, your other actions still need to be communicating that. No dates; no friends; no buying her gifts. Just sex, good conversation, and sleeping over. Cuddling (to a certain degree) can be fine, but usually I try to avoid letting her fall asleep in my arms. It gets too intimate at that point.

- Franco

I misunderstood casual relationship for something a little more serious but still open.

An important distinction!

The girl I have been seeing I have a strong connection with, she's also more opened minded than the average girl, both of these are factors into why she is okay with me seeing other girls.

This was also true for the girl I mentioned whom I allowed to sleep over regularly. We had a strong connection, it was more than casual. SO it seems different "rules" apply and good communication and understanding is vital.