snipefield's journey

[snipefield]

I've been put up a couple of questions and a report or two GC. I've been maintaining a journal for 2 months on paper, but it seems more productive to share my experiences with all out here.

I'm a student at a huge college and live right at the edge of campus, so there is basically no reason not to strike up conversations every single day. Recently I've been striking up conversations as I go about my daily business. This approach pretty much requires rapidly getting a phone number and then scheduling a coffee date. Schoolwork has been super tough (grad school) as of late and it's hard to make a mental shift from what I'm studying (IT, stats, math-heavy) to interacting with the honeys.

I started off the year just focusing on cold approaches and really got a lot of traction from the are you single? opener. Recently, I've been noticing that my sticking point is incorporating more push/pull, intrigue and sexual tension. With the single opener, even though I vocalize my intent, I'm not projecting sex-worthiness after I meet up. So I've been experimenting with even simpler, more direct approaches focused on coming in with a dominant vibe, giving the girls hugs while telling them they're cute. Also, opening with what's up with a descending tone of voice (aka breaking rapport, as Julien of RSD calls it). I'm at a plateau where it feels like I don't know what to say again after I open. I get into my head and start to question whether I'm clever enough to come up with interesting random topics on the fly. I trust that this will go away with practice.

Here are the approaches today. While doing work in a computer lab, I noticed a sultry hispanic girl with curly hair sitting about 20' away from me. The way she had her legs crossed gave me a good view of her butt, thigh, and leg. Anyways, I finally approached (complete violation of 3 second rule).

- Hey. What's up?
- ......{doesn't say anything, questioning glance}
- I saw you and thought you were quite and had to come introduce myself. I'm snipefield.
- {smiles} I'm Beatrice
- Hi Beatrice
- What are you studying?
- Organic chemistry.
- Oh wow.........So you wanna be the next female version of Doogie Howser MD?
- I don't know who that is. {awkward. That was a somewhat nonsensical remark on my part}
- How old are you?
- 20.
I stall. Don't don't what to say, she isn't interested.
- OK, nice to meet you.

Well that was a great sacrificial first opener for the day.

Later on in the day in the library I noticed this tall interesting-looking beauty. I was already in the elevator but it was one of those where you stop where you're going and change course of action immediately. She went around the corner and I could catch the edge of her just drinking water. So I pretended to check my phone. She finished drinking and then started to make her way back.

- Hey, whatsup
- {started} Hi {tonality goes up, indicating she's not sure whether she knows me or not, a sign my opener is doing what I want it to}
- Hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to introduce myself. What's your name? {as I do this, she makes this coy motion with her body how she's shy and a little embarassed that I'm complimenting her. Indeed, this probably rarely happens with tall, beautiful girls.}
- Sandra. {we shake hands} What's your name?
- snipefield. Why are you so free? {she was barefoot in the library and had this free-energy thing going. What a dumb thing to say, instead of vibing with her about her bringing a breath of fresh air into the stuffy confines of the library, I took it down a negative path}
- I don't know. I gotta go to a meeting
- OK

Last interaction was in the gym. One of my character traits is that I tend to do a lot by the book, including pickup, which in retrospect is not a good character of a leader and a man. So even though I've read the article on gym pickup, there's def. not one way to skin a cat. That's because even though I go fairly regularly now, I go at different times, and the likelihood of seeing the same girl over and over is quite low. And I realized that other guys definitely aren't hitting on girls in the gym...... everyone's assuming that the girl is super powerful if she's lifting weights and are scared off.

Anyways, I stalled with this one because I only approached her after she finished off in the barbell area where I was. She went to some machines after that and then I noticed that she was gathering her belongings so I went in. She was listening to music.

-Hey, I gotta quick question for you.
- {takes headphones off}
- I gotta quick question for you.
- Yes ? {neutral response}
- Are you single?
- Yes. {smile, face lights up}
- I saw you over there and thought you were cute and wanted to say hi. I'm snipefield.
- I'm Juju.
- That's an interesting name. How's it going?
- Well I'm about to go home now to do homework and write a paper. {wistful tone, almost as if she was saying "why didn't you come talk to me in between sets when we were in the same area?")
- Yes, it must be done. {lame thing to say?} Juju, how did you get a name like that?
- Well it's a nickname, short for Judy.
- When did you get it?
- In high school.
- {I furrow my broughs} So are you from Tennessee?
- No, Spain.
- OK.
- I really gotta get going.
- 10 seconds. I'd like to chat with you more. Give me your phone number and I'll call you sometime this week and if we like each other maybe we can meet up.
- I really have to go and write my paper.
- There's nothing to lose, we'll talk on the phone and if we don't like each other, then nothing will happen.
- Hmm, {not really having it} I really have to go.
- OK, have a good evening.

Even though persisting is a weak point of mine, I've had enough experiences with flakey numbers to know that it's better not to get a number than to get junk....
Those were today's interactions. Not many at all - really just enough to warm me up and get that social momentum going, but still something to learn from.

 

[ray_zorse]

Shit yeah... good stuff man. Sounds like we're at a similar point. Keep it up Keep analyzing those interactions
cheers, Ray

 

[snipefield]

11/4 Approaches
Saw a girl from the 4th story as soon as I walked out of my apartment in the morning. Even though this rarely works, I somehow managed to catch up to her. I was wracking my brain for what to say to her. I opened while we were crossing the street, just as we were about to get to the sidewalk:

Me: Hey whatsup. This is seem a bit forward, but I think you have the most striking hair. {I had actually contempalted opening with "You have a sexy ass", but decided it was way too early in the morning for a girl to hear that from a guy who's coming up from behind her}
Veronica: Really? (face lights up) I just washed it this morning, didn't think anybody would notice.
Me: Well, I did. I'm snipefield
Veronica: I'm Veronica.

We bantered and I tried to get to know her a bit as we walked. One error that I did not commit was sticking to where I was actually going. I've had this mentality before where I will talk with the girl only up until our paths diverge. I wasn't in too big of a rush and just kept going with her past. She finally was about to cross the street and I told her we should meet up sometime, to which she happily agreed.

I got her number, texted her soon thereafter. I did another 2 approaches in the morning using the single opener (my fallback when I'm feeling nervous.

In the afternoon, between class breaks, I noticed an absolute gorgeous girl passing by me in the hallway. I didn't have the balls to open her in front of all my classmates (who cares!?). Instead, I passively stared at her and then couldn't resist following. Alas, by the time she got out, she was talking on her phone.

Mad at myself, I just opened a random girl. She immediately countered with "I'm waiting for a friend". I just responded with "that's OK", but it would have been a bit more fun to say "is she hot?". I think girls instinctively give this response as a kind of test to see how we'll react. I spoke with this girl Mimi, and the conversation was petering out, so she politely excused herself.

After classes, I approached some girls while walking to the gym. I mainly used the "Are you single?" opener. There was a freshman-looking girl (don't remember what exactly happened). Then there was the bleach-blonde type - these are ubiqutous on campus and I'm really curious to hang out with them. She told me she was single and had a bit of a mischevious smile, but I reacted too slowly. By the time I said, "Hold on, wait a bit", she was a good 8 feet away from me and replied "No". I opened another girl (labeled as girl with makeup in my notes), but she had a boyfriend.

When I was done in the gym, I noticed a girl behind the front desk on the gym floor with really long, pretty hair. I actually went back and just complimented her. This wasn't really a full-fledged approach, as I basically just complimented her and left. I figured I'll see this Amanda chick again and can re-initiate the convo.

I wasn't really thinking too much about opening on my way back, but I just happened to randomly open a girl who was listening to music AND looking at the phone while walking. These approaches are somewhat entertaining, because you really do get the girl out of a zone.......

me: Hey, I got a quick question for you.
megan: {takes headphones off} Yes?
me: {I was about to do the single opener, but decided to compliment} I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi. I'm snipefield
megan: {smiles, puts head down a bit} O wow, that's cool, I'm Megan.
I don't quite remember what we said to each other right after this, but it wasn't long before the following....
snipefield: Where are you taking these muffins? {she was carrying a box of muffins}
megan: You want one?
snipefield: Eh, I'm going to eat pizza.
megan: Take one.
snipefield: I'll only take one if you also give me your phone number and we meet up sometime.
megan: {smiles} Sure.
snipefield: What's your schedule looking like this week?
megan: Well, I get off at 9:30 tonight.
snipefield: Yea, let's try to meet tonight
megan: OK

We exchange phone numbers and I give her a hug before parting.
Here's the subsequent text exchange:

me: Megan, pleasure to meet you. Let's see if we can meet up later this evening - snipefield
megan: Nice to meet you too! For sure tonight {smiley}

And then I didn't hear from her. I'm not too surprised. The ones who express eagerness eventually are the ones who flake out (?)
I had also texted Veronica from the morning and didn't get a response either...


11/5 Approaches
I made myself approach after class today. The weather wasn't the best, it was starting to get dark, but this is a college campus after all, all of these are trifle excuses compared to being somewhere out in the desert.

I only really had 3 approaches, all on girls who were walking. This was basically enough for me to get the social wheels greased up.

1. Hispanic girl with phone. Single opener. Not single, her reply suggested she was quite shy. Note to self: persist with these types of girls, good practice for seduction.
2. White girl (man, already forgot how she looked). Single opener. She was single, I complimented her, but then she kept walking and I didn't stop her.
3. Blonde. Single opener. Not single either.

Nothing special at all today. It's funny, as I sit here, I remember the pretty girls who I didn't strike up a convo with as we passed each other more than those who I opened. This is a scarcity mentality phenomenon that is addressed with just opening as many ladies as possible.

 

[snipefield]

9:30 AM. I'm usually rushing to get to class at this time, but I had some time to kill before and I was already on campus. The weather was nice and I open the blean-blonde sorority-type girl who is walking towards me and listening to music (they all either listen to music, look at their phone, or are wearing sunglasses).

me: Whatsup.
Kat: {stops. smiles} Yes?
me: Hey, I gotta quick question for you........ Are you single?
Kat: {pauses, smiles} .... Yes
me: I thought you are cute and wanted to chat. I'm snipefield.
Kat: I'm Kat.
me: How's your day going?
Kat: Oh, it's OK, i just got out of class.
me: {she had stopped, but I got the sense she was about to get going} Hey, I'm going here but I have some time. Where do you need to go?
Kat: x place.
me: OK, I'll walk with you.
Here's what I remember from our convo
Kat: What year are you?
me: I'm very old, I'm a grad student, you should run while you can {don't think she got joke}
Kat: Guess what year I am.
me: Hmm, is it a trick?
Kat: No.
me: Sophomore?
Kat: Freshman.
me: OK.

We kept bantering, she told me about her studies, her sorority, seemed like a cook chick. It felt good taking the lead and walking with her. We got to her building:

Kat: Well, I'm here
me: OK, we should meet up sometime.
Kat: Sure, are you on Facebook?
me: No
Kat: Instagram, pinterest, Twitter?
me: No. We're just gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way.
Kat: OK {hands me phone}
me: Alright, here's mine

I stalled a bit with her Iphone cause I'm apple-challenged. We parted and I sent her an overly-giddy text that in retrospect seems a bit needy 10 minutes later (I felt like sending a genuine text):
-Kat, hi. good start to the morning meeting you -snipefield

She never responded.

I approached a girl with the single opener later in the afternoon, but she was taken. That was it for today.
I would appreciate advice regarding whether it's worthwhile to drip-market to these flakey girls after the first text gets nowhere (like Kat and Megan, the girl from two days ago). I don't like to chase, but if I can put in a little bit of effort, then it's bound to pan out a small % of the time.

An aside: starting interactions with women from street approach is a real-life lesson in statistics and probability. There are so may random events and variation in how you will be received and how the girl will respond.

 

[snipefield]

November 8

It's interesting how the girls who you don't speak to (especially if you only have a couple of opportunities to talk to girls in a day) are the ones who sometimes stay in your mind. Whereas I frequently tend to forget the girls who I speak with and get numbers in 2-3 minutes.

I was visiting my folks in the big city and was quite busy helping preparing a big dinner.
I basically didn't approach. I decided to write these thoughts down anyways as hypothetical scenarios that could have advanced a conversation.

Supermarket checkout girl
How it went down

she's ringing me up
me: Hi. How's your day going?
supermarket girl (sg): Pretty good, and yours?
me: It's going OK.
sg: Have a good day {flirtatious smile}

How it should have gone:

me: Hi. How's your day going?
sg: Pretty good, and yours?
me: Better now that I met you. What's your name? {In a dominant tone}
sg: Ashley.
me: I'm Roma. Ashley, what time are you getting off today?
sg: 4 pm. Why? {smiles}
me: Let's go get coffee together.
sg: I don't know.
me: Give me your number and we'll coordinate
sg: OK

Pharmacy Girl
She was standing near in the endcap of a local pharmacy. I guess she was supposed to be a greeter, but since this is a non-chain pharmacy in a Russian neighborhood, she was just standing looking pretty.

I completely chickened out.
Here's what I could have said:

me: Whatsup!
blonde: ..... ?
me: You are the girl of my dreams! Let's get married.
blonde: smiles
me: I'm snipefield. You are?
blonde: Katia
me: Katia, we'll get married of course, but first we should chat a little bit. What time are you free this afternoon?

November 9
I was in the suburbs with my relatives at a Chili's. I went to the bathroom at the end of the meal and there was an absolutely gorgeous brunette sitting across from our table at a mini-booth for 2. She looked around 18-20 and had a tween boy with her. They looked alike - most likely her bro.

She flicked her hair my way and (I thought) gave me an approach invitation. I finally mustered up the courage when we were leaving to go for it.

me: Hey, whatsup.
brunette: ----
me: This is going to be a little forward. I saw you and I think you're pretty and I wanted to say hi.
brunette: {smiles}
me: What's your name?
brunette: Danielle.
me: I'm Roma. {we shake}
brunette: This is my brother
me: {turn to brother} What's your name?
brother: Matt
me: {we shake hands and then I basically bow out of the convo}

My aunt from behind is egging me to get the girls number, but I had in my head that I would only approach and not go for the number-close. My reasoning was that we were quite far from the city, and I wouldn't want to pine over this girl who's so far away - the likelihood of seeing her would be low. But this is a conclusion that I jumped to without thinking of the positive possibilities.

We exited the restaurant and when we got to the car, my folks and aunt started badgering me to go back and get her number. I was pretty stubborn and refused. But, they did make me feel like I made a mistake.

All I had to say to this girl was
Danielle, I'm leaving soon. Do you go down to the city sometimes? ....... Well, tell you what. Give me your number, and let's meet sometime in the city

In all 3 of the aforementioned encounters, I wasn't in the mindset of pushing interactions forward because I had other things on my mind. It pays to be flexible and to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. I would have lost absolutely NOTHING had I gotten Danielle's number. The fact that I'm still thinking about it means that she was worth it. It's funny that even my aunt was like "I like this girl a lot, she's very proper, etc" (all I could think was, yea, they all seem proper, hehe). She almost made me get out of the car and go back to the restaurant to get the number.

In the evening, I struck up a conversation while waiting for my flight in the airport lounge with Vivian. She was tall, naturally blonde, was wearing a knit-sweater and had that hint of tall-girl clumsiness about her. I complimented her and we bantered about her studies, her plans to go abroad, volleyball, NYC etc. Again, she lived in a college town a state away and I figured it'd be a waste getting her number (and the spark wasn't here). Even though I complimented her on her appearance on the opener, the conversation turned logical after that. I had to catch my flight (I was one of the last ones on the plane), so the convo ended abruptly.

 

[snipefield]

November 10

1. I was biking from the gym and noticed a short but cute blonde with nice curves walking in the same direction as me. Approaching on a bicycle is a little bit challenging. It's best to just get off the bike and walk alongside the girl. I didn't muster up the courage to do that and instead stopped after crossing the intersection. I started speaking just as she came onto the sidewalk from the intersection. She started to take her headphones out, but had this look of slight fear on her.

It was def. a bit creepy.

me: Hey, I know this is a little bit weird, but I saw you and think you're cute and I wanted to say hi
short blonde: Hi. {keeps walking}
me: Hold on a bit. I wanna talk with you.

She didn't stop and I let her go. I figured chasing after her with a bike would have been too much. I think I would not have the courage to chase after her even without the bike - the look she gave me was just too unfriendly. Oh, well. I'm sure it was my fundamentals - I looked a bit goofy there waiting with my bike.

2. Walking to school, I noticed a girl in a leather jacket waiting at the intersection:

me: Hey, whatsup. {smiling, good vibe}
her: Hi.
me: I saw you and think you're cute and want to talk with you for half a minute.
her: Oh, ok.
me: I'm snipefield.
her: I'm Sandra.
me: Nice to meet you. Where are you going, I'll walk with you a little bit, I have to go there
her: I gotta go there.
me: Oh, OK, let's walk this way and then you can cross. So how is your day going? (shit, I'm getting a little bit tired of this phrase)
her: It's going OK, lots of studying.
me: How was your weekend?
her: It was busy.
me: What do you study?
her: orthopedics
me: Wow. {I gotta stop being impressed science majors} {I desperately started racking my brain for random shit to say to prolong the conversation. She felt it too}
Your jacket reminds me of my leather jacket. And how nice it is to wear it and when the weather is still pretty warm
her: ........
me: ........
her: Ok, well I gotta go now, it was nice to meet you.
me: Yes, have a good day.

I remember now seeing somewhere that if the tone is excited and genuine, even mundane topics can be made fun. This would have been an appropriate thing to practice in the interaction with this girl. Also, another strategy would have been to exaggerate the awkwardness to ease the tension.

3. Struck up a conversation with a girl who was listening to music walking in my direction

me: Hey, I gotta quick question for you
her: {starts to take headphones out. A little bit of a smile on her face} Yes?
me: Are you single? {in my best amusingly authoritative voice - still need to work on that}
her: {contemplates how to answer, starts mumbling} Well, yes. {smiles}
me: I think you're cute and want to chat with a little bit. I'm Roma.
her: I'm Layla.
me: Oh, like the Eric Clapton song?!
her: Yes, everybody says that {she was matter-of-fact, not annoyed at this. But, that was not the best thing to say perhaps?}
me: I like your shirt {touch her shoulder}
her: Thanks. It's Native American.
me: Where did you get it?
her: TJ Maxx (smiles).
me: (I laugh). You kind of had me fooled. Where are you going? I'll walk with you a little bit and then I have to go back.
her: Ok. Where were you going?
me: That building. {we start walking} So where were you coming from?
her: Oh, the business school.
me: Was it a boring class?
her: No, not really, it was actually pretty interesting. It's about the societal impacts of business.
me: Hmm, all they teach me there is how to squeeze more out of people and machinery.
her: Well, I liked the class.
.... after some banter.....
me: Hey, I'd like to get a cup of coffee with you sometime.
her: OK.
me: How would we arrange that?
her: {looks at me like I'm trying to be smooth} Hmm, I don't know
me: Ok, give me your number
her: OK.
me: {as I'm taking phone out} what's your schedule like this week?
her: well, bla bla, this weekend I'm going back home

I give her my phone to she can input the number herself. After she does so, I go in a for a hug, but it turns out a little awkward.

I texted her soon and she texted me back about 4 hours later...

4. Noticed a blonde girl sitting in the courtyard of building I exited from.
I walked a bit past and then approached in diagonally.

me: Whatsup.
her: Hi.
me: .......... {I was at a bit of loss for words, but let it hang}
her: Who are you?
me: ..... {still pausing}..... {smile} I'm snipefield. Who are you? {extend hand}
her: I'm Weezy.
me: I think you're pretty and want to chat with you for a little bit.
her: Oh, thank you.

We bantered a bit about mundane topics, where's she's from, what she's studying. There was a lull in the convo and that's just about when her ride came and she excused herself. Fun opening, though!

5. Girls in library galore. Very hard to do work. I finally approached one who I thought gave me an approach invitation, but I caught her offguard.

me: Hey, this is gonna seem a bit forward, but I saw you and think you're cute and want talk with you for a little bit
her: Hi, oh thank you.
me: I'm snipefield.
her: I'm Justice.
me: Nice to meet you Justice. How's your day going?
her: Oh, OK. I'm actually studying with a friend. {starts to call friend over} It was nice to meet you.
me: Yes, nice to meet you, Justice

That one felt like a copout. I'm not sure how I could have been persistent with her without seeming needy. Something along the lines of "I gotta go and I see you have to go, too. Tell you what, give me your number, and we'll meet up for coffee."

This last one doesn't count. A girl I had met a couple of weeks back and texted on Sunday sat about 10 feet to my left with her back to me. She responded initially to my text on Sunday, but then didn't respond to my follow-up. I started psyching myself out regarding whether or not I should re-initiate the conversation.

I finally did:

me: Hey Brandy
her: {turns around slowly, as I wheel my chair in her direction} Oh, hi
me: {I start speaking but she tells me to hold on, she's talking with s-one on the comp} You totally strategically sat next to me so I could notice you.
her: I didn't even know you were sitting there
me: Yea, right.

That was it! It ticked me off that she was in a way rejecting me like this. Onto the next one.

 

[Troy]

Hey Snipefield,

Right as I was about to click on my journal I spotted yours and decided to take a look. You have some interesting stuff here I must comment. I notice that you have a good amount of dialogue here. That's great. There is one tiny bit thing you could change however. The posts are way too long. For someone who will be going around to help guys on here they might not bother to read something that is like 2 pages long. I learnt this the hard way. Some of my earlier posts were 4 pages long and generated less responses. Now that I've shortened mine I get more responses. I hope you see this as constructive criticism. All the best

Troy

 

[ray_zorse]

Troy has a point, I make pretty long journal posts too and rarely if ever get feedback. OTOH it can be helpful to put more detail as occasionally some particular detail jumps out at you later as a missed escalation window or other subtlety.

Anyway what the hell I'm gonna give some feedback, don't take it as authoritative since you're getting more numbers than I am ATM, but still we all have different strengths/weaknesses in our game so it's good to share when possible.

Your opener is great, because you are going direct, to make it better I would try being more presumptuous. For instance an opener that works fine for me is "Hi there..." make eye contact, warm genuine smile, "I'm Ray" and go for the handshake, they should then introduce themselves... there are downsides to this (it's not direct) but I mention it simply to make the point that you don't have to explain yourself if you can let your nonverbals do the work. You can/should still go direct of course.

Another great opener to have in your toolkit is "hey, stop for a moment..." if you haven't tried this you should. Also just mix it up a lot so you avoid coming off rehearsed, genuine compliments are good practice for this. I like: "Hi there... I couldn't help noticing your cute shoes/..., they go well with the .... You look fabulous. I'm Ray."

The other thing is you're having to do a lot of the work driving it forwards especially once you get past the introductory questions (and you mentioned you get sick of asking them about their day). This is why you should be using a cold read. Check out my journal (interaction with a cute teacher called Helga) to see how I got her talking without asking any questions at all. And search for "cold read the key to unlocking a woman's secrets" or similar on the main site.

With the cold read your interaction goes something like this... OPEN "I could not help noticing blah blah" INTRODUCE "I'm Snipefield" ASSUME "It looks like you're on your way to work... let me guess, you're in real estate... or you're a mortgage broker" SIT BACK "Ohh no I just work in an office, I'm a blah blah" PROMPT "That sounds interesting" SUGGEST "And then you decided that you would ..." and this should keep things moving. Then you're never in the position of having to ask questions. If you must ask a question then phrase it as a non question or keep a neutral tone so it comes off like an assumption instead.

(Obviously this doesn't always work but if she's attracted it should, adapt to circumstances but the above is what to aim for).

Cheers, Ray

Edit: Toss in some pauses too, if that kills the interaction then it was not on track anyway. More likely she'll break the silence/tension by investing with a question about you etc.

 

[snipefield]

Hey Troy and Ray, thanks so much for the advice. I'm really humbled to be receiving pointers from people who notice blind spots in my game.

Ray, I like your suggestions for openers. I have read the cold read article a while back, but logged it in the "material to try out when I'm more advanced" pile. But now I see that it is a technique I should be using. Cold reads should make for some fun conversations.

 

[snipefield]

November 13
1. Girl with winter hat
She was walking in my direction. Pretty. Opened with single opener and quickly recognized that she wasn't gonna stick around so decided to just walk with her in the same direction we came from. Experimented with cold read by saying ("you play hockey" in a questioning tonality, it would have been better to just go for it and end with a breaking-rapport tonality). Convo lost spark after she told me where she was from and I told her I grew up nearby.

2. Latina with curly hair
I was proud of myself for opening her in the library lobby just as I entered and she was about to exit. Nice momentum. I stopped her and complimented her. She was about to walk off so I just said I'll walk with you for a little bit. I tried to be spontaneous in convo topic, but she was giving me the "who's this creep look?". I walked with her for about a minute then ejected because I didn't know what to say...

November 13
1. Kirsten
Met right as I was approaching the gym. Wearing a sexy trenchcoat. Good opener assuming familiarity, but quickly ran out of things to say and the vibe became non-sexual. Asked for number, as opposed to setting up the date like Chase recommends (I've noticed that I've been asking for too many phone numbers, recently, it's been more than a month since I went on a date with a girl I met on the street). She seemed a bit hesitant to give it, so I asked if she wanted to. she replied that she's somewhat busy, but there was doubt in her tone. Decided to push through. No response to my text. Attribute this to lackluster fundamentals.

2. Ashton
Assumed familiarity, and it turned out she actually remembered me from when I opened her before (naturally I forgot). She was on the way to a test. I told her we should meet up sometime. I let her control the frame: she said "next time we run into each other, we can exchange phone numbers and figure it out, right now I'm in a rush".

3. Two-set
I got mad at myself for this lack of determination and decided to open a girl who was walking with her friend. I have actually never done this before during the day - I've been sticking to girls who are alone. Used the single opener. She was single and gave good body language. My reaction, however, was slow and I neither commanded her to stop for 30 seconds, nor walked with her and her frined.

4. No-time girl with Polish accent
It was cold, lightly snowing and there were barely any people on the street. She was listening to music and walking in my direction. This was the first time a girl actually responded with "I'm sorry, I don't have time now" (and not in a genuine "I'm gonna fail this class if I don't make it now" way, but in a "I'm not in the mood to talk to you, you sill strange man" way).

5. Awkward theater girl
This was one of these where I opened her despite her not being attractive. She actually engaged with me but I lost the motivation because my mind was thinking too far ahead how I wouldn't be aroused by her.

6. Kristine tan brunette
I was sitting in the library relaxing when she passed. It was one of these situations where you simply follow your impulse in response to seeing the girl. I opened with "Hey, pretty stranger with long brunette hair." Unfortunately, she was listening to music, so I had to repeat myself and modify what I had said. I told her that I'd walk with her just a bit, to which she responded "I'm going to my dorm." Missed opportunity for some teasing ("Woa, we only met now and you're already inviting me to your dorm. I'm not that easy, you know...") Conversation turned mundane, but she did mention her boyfriend, which made me chuckle inside a little bit. I ejected after walking about 200 ft with her because I got bored and uncomfortable.

7. Elizabeth
My biggest flop. Noticed her walking behind me. Let her catch up and finally opened, complimenting her hair. We had a nice chat, that I ended abruptly when I got to my street. I just said, "OK, I gotta go this way". To this, she responded "Fine!" in a rather annoyed/upset manner. I should have either walked another block with her or gotten number. No excuse for this!

November 14
Only 1 approach today. Noticed girl sitting in library waiting for s-thing. Didn't approach initially, but she didn't notice me at all as I came back

me: Hey. You are the woman of my dreams!...... Let's get married!
Laura: {smiles}....{chuckles}
me: Seriously, I saw you and think you're cute and want to introduce myself. I''m snipefield.
Laura: I'm Laura.
me: Nice to meet you

I made another joke about the marriage and then shifted to asking about her, what she's doing. Alas, the convo lacked the spark of the opener. I'm tired of just pushing thru for numbers and want to work on creating that man/woman dynamic in the initial interaction, just a little bit of push/pull to intrigue the girl. I cringed, chastising myself, when I ejected with "It was nice to meet you!" Aah!

 

[snipefield]

Didn't have a plan to do this, but couldn't resist engaging a couple of girls at the gym.

1. Rebecah - I had noticed her once before while working out. Buff in a sexy way with a nice meaty behind. I figured that guys don't hit on her at the gym because they may be intimated. Finally got the courage to open. She smiled as I was approaching her. I complimented her and she was all smiles and cool. She asked me to repeat my name (take as an IOI). I pussied out and didn't number-close, just asking her a little about herself (logical topics) and then bowing out.

2. Linda - there weren't many people in the gym, so I didn't have a plan to open anyone else up (I had already got nervous because a buddy commented how he saw me chatting up Rebecah).... This girl eyed me and smiled just as I was done with my last set. Tall, slender, blonde hair, blue eyes. I ignored this and made it all the way to the staircase on the other side of the gym and then came to my senses. I had to go back to where she was and wait until she was done with her set like a lurker, but it was worth it.

me: Hey.
Linda: {she smiled} Hi
me: You're not from here...
Linda: How did you know?
me: Ehhh, it's cause you're wearing an American flag shirt
Linda: No, come on.
me: I'm snipefield.
Linda: I'm Linda.
me: Linda, nice to meet you. Where are you from?
Liinda: From Germany. And you?
me: I grew up in [big city]
Linda: Oh, I was there 2 weeks ago. It was fun, but too big for me.
me: Oh, really, are you from a smaller town?
Linda: Yes, in Germany, 7000 people
me: What are you doing here?
Linda: I'm an exchange student.
me: Oh, interesting. Are you living on campus?
Linda: No, I live by the tower... bla bla bla

We bantered some more and she asked me if it was going to get any colder. She had dumbells in her hand, so I knew I had to act fast.

me: You're very cute. Let's get a cup of coffee sometime.
Linda: I have a boyfriend.
me: That's OK.
Linda: No
me: No?
Linda: ....... I'll see you around the gym though
me: Yea, but I've never seen you here before. Well, it was nice to have met you.

I kicked myself for that "No?" reaction, but at least I approached and asked for the number. It would've been smoother to use Chase's "Linda, I gotta get outta here, but tell you what. I wanna grab a bite with you sometime this week. Would you like to do that?" Outcome might've been the same, of course.

3. Britney - redhead with long hair and nosering. Opened her in supermarket, she was pleasantly surprised, but I didn't speak enough right after the opener and she excused herself. I didn't take the risk of telling her to stroll with me and help me shop, that would have probably been the best strategy.

4. Rachel, brunette from 2-set. I was hungry after I bought all my groceries and ate lunch in the supermarket seating area. I was about to open a blonde girl who sat, but then decided to focus on her friend who had joined her. I mulled it in my head after finishing my food, almost pussied out but finally went for it.

I went to get a napkin and opened on the way back to my table:

me: Hey. {I opened right around where the blonde girl was, so I visibly startled her.} Oh, sorry. {turning to the target friend} I'm a little bit nervous, I usually don't do this, but I thought you were cute and feel compelled to introduce myself. {nice long pause} I'm snipefield.
Rachel: I'm Rachel. {pause}
me: What are you guys up to this fine day?
Rachel: We're celebrating her birthday.
me: {turn to friend} Happy Birthday! {turn back to Rachel} I hope this isn't the culmination of the celebration {useless thing to say}
Rachel: No
me: So are you guys students here?
Rachel: Yes.
me: OK. Well it was nice meeting you.

This didn't turn out how I had planned. I actually had a script in my head in which my opener was a longer rant along the lines of "I usually don't do this, but I thought you are pretty and I believe that we only live once and life is an adventure, and even though there are plenty of beautiful people in the world and it's a little bit of a cliche, who knows, maybe we can get along and you're already here and I'm already here and I figured that there's nothing to lose, so I decided to come up and say hi to you and chat with you for just a little bit"

The reaction to this would have made been very different compared to what I actually said. That's because she would have felt obligated to respond with something concrete, since I had put my share of the initial effort. Despite that, I'm happy that I opened her - this was the first time I opened a girl who was with her friend. It's given me confidence to try this again next time and have some fun with it!

 

[snipefield]

I spent the whole weekend cooped up inside studying, so was really nervous to finally venture out of the house this afternoon for class. I spotted a girl with a nice butt and hair walking in front of me and I chickened out...... Our eyes actually met even though she stopped to wait for the light and turned her body slightly while I made a left at the intersection.......I kept beating myself up about this for the next 3 hours in class..

After class:

1. Blonde, looked young - singles opener. She was single, but I didn't react quickly enough, lost momentum
2. Also single opener, don't remember girl or what happened

Spent breaks in gym brooding whether I should open this absolutely blonde bombshell. Then I saw her with a buff workout buddy - of course assumed the worst (that he was BF) and pussied out

3. Curly blonde (cb) hair. Saw her in the lounge by the gym entrance. I was attracted to her like a mosquito to a bare arm. I had to pass her at first because she was on the phone. I stopped and waited. Lucky for me, didn't have to wait long. She hung up and I went back and opened:

me: Whatsup
cb: Hi {warm}
me: I thought you had striking hair and I..
cb: What? {couldn't hear me}
me: {now louder} I thought you had striking hair and want to introduce myself to you.
cb: What's your name? {extends hand}
me: snipefield.
cb: I'm curly blonde.
me: Very nice to meet you, curly blonde.
cb: Say your name again? {strong eye contact}
me: snipefield
cb: How do you spell that?
me: bla bla.... Are you from Chile? {she had a sticker on her laptop}
cb: Yes.
me: Wow, very cool {a bit overboard with the enthusiasm, but it was genuine} I'm picturing the mountains.
cb: Yes, they're lovely. I've seen them.
me: {excellent eye contact here, she is reciprocating} Yes, of course you would have.
cb: Where are you from?
me: ...eastern european country.... So what brings you all the way over here?
cb: Oh studies.
me: What are you studying?
cb: Ecology and evolutionary biology.
me: Wow, there's a lot of work to be done there. Are you interested in a particular place to do ecology studies?
cb: {eye contact continues all this time} I'd like to go out west and also to the alps. I like hiking very much
me: What about winter hiking?
cb: No, not so much. So what brings you here?
me: I'm studying ...my major....
cb: How long have you lived in the states?
me: Oh, a long time, my parents immigrated when I was a kid. How about you?
cb: Yea, all my life, pretty much. My dad is American, my mom is from Chile.
me: CB, I probably have to get going. But I'd like to meet up for a coffee sometime.
cb: {nodding and interrupting me} Yes
me: Would you like to do that with me?
cb: Yes.
me: OK, what's this week look like for you?
cb: Busy.
me: OK, well let me grab your number and we'll touch base and figure it out.
cb: OK. {Her friend calls her at this time, so I just give her my phone}
me: {the vibe was still friendly and fun, so I decided to chat a little bit more} So what's going on here, why are there so many people?
cb: Well, those people are getting their fitness statistics measured. I got mime too.
me: Oh, yea, motivating people to go to the gym! How did yours turn out?
cb: Pretty good, pretty much what I had thought they would be.
me: What's this paper? {she had green form on the table}
cb: I'm applying to get a job at the gym next semester
me: Nice. Hey I saw your dead sticker {grateful dead} and this will be a good reminder for myself. You know how you always have a list of music you'd like to check out, but you forget what it is when you have the chance. When I'm on Spotify, I frequently feel like this. Well this will be a good reminder for me to check out the dead.
cb: Yea, you should.
me: I doubt I'll like them, but I'm going to keep an open mind.
cb: What kind of music do you like?
me: All different kinds really. {she's still smiling and giving me eye contact all this time} I better get going. {I extend my hand in hopes of getting her left hand, but I miscalculated and she instead gave me her right and it was a handshake - way too formal. I was also wearing a bigass winter jacket and had a gym bag and a messenger bag on, so hug would've been awkward}
Very nice to meet you, cb.

I enjoyed bringing the energy and enthusiasm: it carried out convo. I missed opportunity for a cold read with the Chile sticker instead of asking a question. I could have persisted a bit more with the date - should countered with "what about the weekend" in response to her saying it's a busy week. And of course, with the farewell, I should have just grabbed her left hand while looking into her eyes.

4. Beautiful girl - singles opener. She stopped and actually said earnestly and with effect "No, I am not single", to which I sheepishly replied "Good for you"

5. Athletic girl. I actually had to go out of my way because I wanted to hit 5 girls up total and there were few people. She made eye contact with me when she was passing me by. Opened with singles opener. She wasn't. A compliment would have probably worked better.

I was so fired up from the interaction with curly blonde. This was such a contrast from my brooding after having failed to open the girl in the early afternoon. I know this isn't good, but it's hard not to be affected by positive interactions with girls like this.

I saw an awesome play yesterday. There was a scene where the guy brings back a girl to the place he's staying at, and he's of course trying to kiss her. I enjoyed the acting and the girl did a great job of showing what it's like for a girl to feel as she's being seduced. This wasn't a Hollywood seduction, but rather a more realistic portrayal where things don't go smoothly. For example, the guy called her by the wrong name and she responded with "that'll set you back at least 20 minutes". My takeaway from seeing this is it's important to make seduction fun. Everything in life is already so mundane for a lot of people! Process is great, but I realized I find myself thinking of the final stage of a seduction clinically. I thinks it's good to make it memorable, special, and fun for both you the girl. This is probably obvious to many, but it was on my mind....

 

[ray_zorse]

Awesome interactions, sounds like your ec is on point too you could also try to sex it up a little... when she mentioned biology you could have said "ohh.. how are you on (pause, ec) human... biology? (sexual smile, ec)" maybe, though I have to say I've only done occasional sexual frames lately cos they can come across a bit forced, however that's probably a stage u have to go through to find your style.
cheers, Ray

 

[snipefield]

Awesome interactions, sounds like your ec is on point too you could also try to sex it up a little... when she mentioned biology you could have said "ohh.. how are you on (pause, ec) human... biology? (sexual smile, ec)" maybe, though I have to say I've only done occasional sexual frames lately cos they can come across a bit forced, however that's probably a stage u have to go through to find your style.
cheers, Ray

Ray, thanks for that specific advice. Even noticing these types of sexual undertones is a huge weak spot in my game. In due time, if I keep in in the back of my mind, I think I'll start spontaneously incorporating them.

 

[snipefield]

1. Brunette with hairband:
Used singles opener. She was taken aback in a positive way. She was walking from where I came from, I could sense that it was awkward for her to keep standing, so I told her I'd walk with her to the intersection. I tried to keep the verbal diarrhea going, but there was a moment when I didn't fill the void and it was palpable. Even though she was interested upon the opener, the interest fizzled out somewhat, so asked if she'd like to get coffee sometime, she replied "I'm kind of talking with someone". To this I replied, "Well, we're always talking with someone. You only live once, right?" I got the number, but it's a flakey one.

2. Girl exiting the library
I have been waiting for a while to do this type of opener:

me: You can't look at me like that
jessie: {stops, pauses, deer in headlights look}......
me: ..... I thought you were cute and want to say hi, I'm snipefield.
jessie: I'm Jessie.
me: Where are you headed?
jessie: The law school. Are you eastern European?
me: Very good. How did you know?
Jessie: {in my native tongue} I know just a little bit
me: Well you know more than 99.5% of the population. Listen, let's get coffee sometime.
Jessie: Yea, sure {I take down number}

3. Blonde girl. Good opener, shitty everything else:

me: Woman! Stop! {tonality must have been OK, since it worked}
blonde: {stops}
me: I love you!
blonde: {laughs}
me: I thought you were pretty wanna say hi {at this point, I realize that she's not that attractive, but hey, I'm just learning}

4. Right after the previous one, used singles opener on girl, she wasn't single, but I really enjoyed that one, still riding the momentum of the previous interaction.

5. Girl in gym. I was eyeing her as she was exercising, finally came up and opened with a compliment. When I actually got close, I realized that she had a cleft lip (or some other scar) and this info threw a wrench into my process. I failed to keep going and establishing rapport, etc. I basically ejected awkwardly, saying "Nice to meet you" after complimenting her and exchanging just one line. Then I felt shitty about it, because she was really happy that I came over and gave her a compliment and it was almost as if I backed out as soon as I saw her scar. Fuck me, who cares about a scar, maybe she's a cool chick!

6. Chilling in the library again. I saw this girl exiting and she had that look like she went outside just for a couple of minutes. So I waited and then decided to leave, half-expecting to see her. As soon as I step out, lo and behold she's heading back in:

me: Woman! Stop!
Rebecca: {slows down}
me: I love you!
Rebecca: Why?
me: Because you're beautiful. Really, just saw you and thought you were cute and want to introduce myself.
Rebecca: Well thank you.
me: I'm snipefield.
Rebecca: I'm Rebecca.
me: Very nice to meet you. What are you up to?
Rebecca: Just going back inside to study. Hmm.
me: Tell you what, let's get a coffee sometime
Rebecca: {hmm} My boyfriend will not like that.
me: That's ok, I'll still do coffee with you.
Rebecca: Mmm, probably not {in a earnest way, like I'm not truly a threat} But, I'll see you around, maybe we'll break up soon.
me: I wouldn't wish that upon you. Give me a hug. {we hug} Very nice to meet you.

A little bit of the white knight coming out in these interactions. It seems like I'm spinning my wheels with some of these (not establishing enough of hook before going for setting up the date, but may just be a plateau, can't really tell. Definitely better than not going out. I really enjoyed the "Woman, stop!" opener. I think women are rarely called "women" to their face now, it's likely refreshing for them to hear this.

 

[Troy]

Snipefield,

Man, you do a good amount of approaches daily. Keep up the great work. Keep focused.

Troy

 

[snipefield]

1. Kirsten
Opened complimenting her hair, but then left too many pauses in the conversation. It was one of these interactions where we were walking together, but I didn't have the balls to bail out explicitly or say something outlandish to tickle her emotions. So I just walked slower and let her separate. Somewhat of a cowardly move

2. Ashley
Saw this blonde pass in front me as I was about to cross the little road. I saw noone up there and so decided to go after her. I didn't exactly run, but walked fast. There was noone else around, which in this instance worked against me.

me: Hey, cute blonde with long hair
Ashley: {doesn't stop}
me: Hey, cute blond with long hair. {finally catch up to her} I think you're cute and want to say hi. I'm snipefield.
Ashley: I'm Ashley.
me: So, how's your day going?
Ashley: Uhh, just going to class.
me: What ar eyou studying?
Ashley: Psychology
me: A lot of the theories in psychology ring true, but others seem bogus.
Ashley: It's all bogus {joking}
me: Really? You think so?
Ashley: Kidding
me: So why do you study psych?
Ashley: I'm interested in people.
me: Hmm. {pause, trying to come up with something} What's your favorite branch of psych?
Ashley: I like human diseases
me: Hmm, as in you actually like them?
Ashley: I like studying them.
me: {I was pretty sure she was gonna veer off because she said she had to go to class, so I said...} I gotta go there {pointing}

When we got to the intersection, I got confused because she was going in the direction where there are only dorms, no more buildings where classes can be held. My apartment was in the same direction, too, but I didn't want to return and she wasn't contributing, so I actually just stood there at the intersection with her while the light was red. I took out my phone as if I was checking something important and then just let her cross the street without saying anything.

3. "Woman, stop, I love you"

4. Singles opener to tan girl - she didn't stop

5. Singles opener to girl wearing a cape-like sweater. Not single

6. Another "woman, stop, I love you". I think there wasn't enough dominance in my tone.

7. Sidney.
"Woman, stop!" opener. She responded very friendly and upbeat. Told me about herself we bantered a bit. I pushed for number at end of our ~4 min convo, but she said, "Well I'm usually in the Starbucks at the library". I realized that this was her way of politely refusing and let it go. Getting better at just staying positive at the end of an interaction when it's a rejection.

8. Singles opener on underclassman-looking girl. She said she had a Bf but seemed intrigued. I missed opportunity here.

9. Singles opener on girl (forgot appearance). Had bf but was very thankful for my compliment.

Overall, the interaction with Ashley made me feel creepy at the time. Instead of thinking "what should I say next?", I should have been thinking "how can I make this fun?" This was a perfect opportunity to practice embracing and exaggerating when the situation isn't favorable. In this case, I could have said the following:

This totally feels like I'm stalking you. Yes. I don't know anything about you, but I'm gonna forget about all of my life goals and go with you wherever you go.

Being playful like this is a weak spot in my conversation skills. In retrospect, I'm glad this convo happened as it's feedback re: what I should work on. Some of these approaches seemed like throwaways, because I was trying to make myself get to 10. Still, I'm glad I approached (missed a couple too).

I noticed that I remember some of the girls who I thought were pretty but didn't approach. I remember these girls sometimes more so than the girls who I actually did approach. I think it's because I'm still focusing a lot on myself when I approach (what to say, etc). As a result, my brain has less space to allocate to noticing details about the girl. On the other hand, I build up the girls who I didn't approach and the brain retains that info (how they look, what they were wearing, etc.)

 

[snipefield]

November 21

1. Britney
Stopped her with singles opener. A little bit of hesitation but finally said she was single. She had that "what's this guy about, is he a creep?" look on her. I quickly told her that I would walk with her to the intersection. She told me her class is over and she's just going back to dorm before the next class. Missed opportunity for playfullness "we just met and you're already inviting me to your dorm? I gotta get to know you a big first" I didn't establish rapport and just let her go when we got to the intersection.

2. Bleach blonde

me: Woman! Stop! I love you!
her: What?

She smiled but kept walking. I smiled, too. I smile in return as a defense mechanism, because I don't want the girl to be creeped out, but I think it may be worthwhile to persist with the forcefulness just a bit more to push the envelope.

3. Bleach blonde 2 in leather pants
Same as above, except she just smirked and didn't even stop.

4. Bleach blonde 3
Singles opener, not single

5. Alex
A friend invited me to some showcase. This sweet-looking girl stood next to me. I complimented her leather jacket.

me: Nice jacket..... Where's the motorcycle?

I couldn't initiate convo with her because the audience had to be quiet. Also, I felt a little awkward with my friend being there (I've gotten used to being low-key and operating alone). I was getting pretty nervous trying to figure out how to open her. This was a boring event, and I wasn't surprised that she made her way to the exit after a couple of minutes. I was about to follow, but now my friend is trying to talk to me and I don't want to be rude and blow him off. So I could watched out of the corner of my eyes as she went outside and eventually went down the street. After my friend finished his thought, I told him I'm going back to the library to study. When I got out, I just had this urge to see if I can go down the street and maybe spot her. These things never work, but what the hell....

I went down the hill and lo and behold, I noticed her at the counter in a coffeeshop I passed by. I actually passed because I wasn't sure if she's gonna sit down or walk out. I stopped at the next intersection, waited half a minute and then figured she's staying inside. I just decided to get a tea and then sit down and chat with her.

She noticed me as I walked in but I didn't smile. I bought the tea and then just came around to her table:

me: Hey, I actually wanted to talk to you back there. I think you're cute. I'm snipefield
Alex: Hi. I'm Alex.
me: Alice or Alex?
Alex: Alex.
me: Very nice to meet you Alex. What are you watching? {she had table propped up}
Alex: Oh, just about to visit these channels for movie recommendations.
me: Oh, interesting, What kinds of movies?
Alex: bla bla (don't remember the context)

I don't remember the transitions, but we got around to talking about our common interests: anthropology, ancient Egyptian civlization, travel. It was a very casual conversation that I enjoyed. I think I could have kept going and talking with her for quite a bit. She was obviously enjoying it, too: just relaxing with nowhere to go. I realized that I should close after about ~7 minutes of talking.

me: Alex, I should probably get going. But it's nice to talk to you. Let's get a cup of coffee sometime {the last part was pretty lame, since we were already in a coffeeshop, but I couldn't come up with anything else that was simple, and non-simple violates the law of least effort}
Alex: {pause} I'm sorry, I lead you on. {pause} I have a boyfriend
me: That's OK, I'll still do coffee with you.
Alex: No.
me: OK. {not in an upset tone. I smile} Well it was interesting to talk to you. Cheers {we clink our cups}

I was proud of myself for ejecting in a genuinely friendly way.

 

[snipefield]

Spent all of yesterday cooped up studying again, so I was psyching myself out towards the end of the evening regarding going out.

I finally made it out and incidentally the hordes of fans were piling out of the football stadium that's 5 blocks from my house at the same time. I was feeling real out of it - definitely could have benefited from some warming up, but there's a ton of schoolwork now as the semester winds down. I decided to go to the area of bars right near campus.

The particular venue I visited turned out to be a bar with an upstairs danceclub. I immediately went upstairs to the dance floor to check it out. It was around 11:45 PM and there weren't many people here. There were a couple of girls dancing to the music and then a bunch of people clustered around the bar. But aside from that, it was pretty empty. As soon as I saw this, I started negatively projecting to myself how if I game here, everybody will see me. For the most part, it was groups of fratty-looking guys with some girl peppered in between.

There were more people downstairs and a lot of people trying to get drinks at the bar. I recognized the need to warm up and spotted three girls sitting in a booth:

me: Hey ladies. I've been cooped up all day studying and I really need to get blown out by a group of pretty ladies. Berkeley: Ohh, no {smiles} It's okay. What's your name?
me: {extreme surprise} Snipefield. What's yours?
Berkeley: Berkeley. {directing attention across table} I'm snipefield.
#2: I'm Jasmine.
#3: I'm Ashley.
me: Nice to meet you.

We bantered a little bit. At a certain point, one of the girls left and their male friend sat across from me. I introduced myself, he was chill. Berkeley was actually a bombshell - blonde, wearing a sexy hat. The problem was that she was checking her phone to see her grade and I didn't know how to deal with that. At a certain point, the grade loaded and she was pleasantly surprised and went to tell the other 2 girls who went to the bar. I let her out. The dude just remained. We had a couple of more back-and-forths and then he too left, shaking my hand.

I looked around and basically gave up. I really didn't feel like sitting alone in the booth, and for some reason I didn't feel like sitting by the bar (there were a bunch of people trying to get drinks, it probably wouldn't have been conducive to meeting folks). So I walked out of the club. I passed a bar that had a line into it and was pretty crowded inside, but I didn't see that many ladies (probably a 70-30 m-f ratio).

A weak effort. I'm writing this post to stay accountable to myself and to get some pointers. This morning, though, I thought that it was still better than not having gone at all.

I was beating myself up because I knew that if I had stuck it out at the club for a couple of hours, I could have had a rewarding experience. The thought of being bored and getting in my head during those first 2 hours prevented me from taking that step. As written previously, I should focus on staying self-amused. A couple of methods: since people frequently ask standard questions like "where are you from?", it would be amusing to create slightly outlandish stories about myself and then confide that I was lying after I've gotten some investment from the girl. Also, just getting physical with girls immediately may work (although in this type of venue, it may be risky since a lot of girls come with their frat guy buddies).

On another note, two girls who I met last week haven't responded to my invitation to meet up for coffee. I went straight by Chase's texting article, to no avail. I'm not planning on contacting these girls again, but perhaps there's something I can do to turn it around?

Here are the two exchanges via text. In both instances, I mentioned we should meet up for coffee before getting the number:

me: (nov 19 1:30 PM) Hi Jessie. Nice to make a new friend.
Jessie: (nov 19 2:30 PM) Nice to meet you today snipefield
me: (nov 20 3:45 PM) Hi Jessie. What a pleasantly warm afternoon today. How's your day going?
Jessie: (nov 20 7 PM) Hi snipefield. How are you? Indeed it was a nice afternoon. I had a fine day today thank you.
me: (nov 20 8:45 PM) I'm good, end of the school week ) Jessie, let's figure out a time to go for coffee. How's this weekend looking for you?

me: (Nov 17 7 PM) Erica, hi! Great to make a new friend -snipefield
Erica: (nov 17 7:05 PM) Always!
me: (nov 19 10:45 AM) Erica, good morning ) calm before the storm of never-ending assignments due for me. How's your week going?
Erica: (nov 20 1:40 PM) Drowning in my studies at the moment but I can see the horizon! We are so close to the end
me: (nov 21 6 PM) That's an optimistic view ) Getting back to my studies now.. Let's figure out a time to meet up for tea. How's this weekend looking for you?

On the one hand, I know that this could be due purely to randomness. On the other, this makes me want to be more pushy with setting up dates on the spot. I'm over getting phone numbers that don't amount to anything: waste of my time and mental energy thinking about these girls!

 

[snipefield]

1. Blonde with braid
Noticed this girl with nice butt in yoga pants walking ahead of me. Took some time to finally strike up convo. Went in with compliment, she was giving me the skeptical/half-interested treatment, which was actually somewhat refreshing. Basically, it was good feedback to make the conversation something other than about mundane topics. I let her go

2. Tall girl with dark hair
She gave me a bit of an approach invitation as we passed each other and I stopped her right after that. Got her to come out of the driveway onto my side. Opened with bf opener, chatted for some time about random stuff. At the end, I went for the obligatory number-close, and she was a bit blase about it. I still got it, but am not at all surprised she didn't respond.

3. Tan cheerful girl
I noticed her from afar and almost didn't approach because she was beautiful (solid logic, ha). Luckily, she gave me an approach invitation. She was a good 20 feet away from me, so there was only one way of getting to her.

me: {running a bit} Hey, stop! {so glad I did this!}
tcg: {slows movement}
me: Hey!
tcg: Hi {smiles}
me: Do we know each other? {she had the "we're acquaintances look" so decided to double-check}
tcg: No
me: Oh, I thought you were very pretty and wanna introduce myself. I'm snipefield
tcg: I'm tan cheerful girl
me: Very nice to meet you, tcg. {she smiles} I'll walk with you a little bit. I gotta go to this building right here, but I'll come back. {we start walking} So, what's going on?
tcg: Oh, nothing much
me: Isn't this an awesome day. Lovely! {it was unusually warm today after a super-cold spell last week} I don't know what to do with all those clothes I've got piled up by the entrance of my house
tcg: {she chuckles} I know! {giving me good feedback here - the topic was mundane but my energy was good and pure}
me: So where are you from?
tcg: bla bla (nearby town famous for its nuclear research facilities)
me: Oh, I heard it's beautiful there! {bad joke on my part}
tcg: Yes, it is! {she didn't get it}
me: Oh, really? {she didn't mind this jumble in thoughts} So what are you doing for the Thanksgiving break?
tcg: Just going back home
me: I got you....... So, you're an athlete {said in a non-questioning tone, thanks Ray!. She was also wearing these yoga pants that are the rage on this campus of mine}
tcg: Well, I was in high school. Not anymore.
me: What do you do now?
tcg: Oh, I work out. I actually go every day.

We bantered a bit about that - she told me the exercises she does, how her knee has started to hurt recently.

me: So, aren't you scared that you'll go overboard doing weightlifting every day?
tcg: No
me: Hmm, so you like to give your body a workout?
tcg: Yes {sly smile, she got the gist. I later notice a little blush}

We keep bantering, I related with her about her injury cause I was actually coming from the sports medicine clinic. All of the above in about 500 feet of walking! Somewhere in there age came up and I DQed myself by saying that I'm old and she non-chalantly told me she was a freshman.

I stopped at my endpoint and got her number, making sure to gauge her reaction when I asked if she wants to meet up. I didn't push for meeting because tomorrow is the last day of classes before Thanksgiving..... But maybe should have

I was a bit cocky and texted her:
Tan-cheery girl, hi! Save my number -snipefield
Instead of my usual pleasure-to-make-a-new-friend greeting. Haven't received a response....

4.
I missed an interesting girl waiting for class in the hallway and a girl who smiled at me while we walked past each other and started beating myself up a bit over them. About an hour later, in the same hallway, another girl smiled as we walked past

me: Hey, hold on.
smiling girl: {stops}
me: Do we know each other, or are you curious about me because you want to meet me?
sg: {pauses, dumbfounded a bit, I keep smiling} Well, I have a boyfriend if that's what you mean
me: Oh, I see. Well, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi
sg: {smiles} Thanks

I gave her too much validation, perhaps? Could have made it intriguing for fun:
Well, I think you're pretty, I'm not interested in being your boyfriend
just to see how she would react.

About the best approach today, I'm usually wary of chasing after girls on campus when others are around because it's so conspicuous, but the return sometimes justifies the risk...