So a girl 'broke it off' with me first because she knew I was going to break it off with her. How does this impact the power balance in relationships?

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

So basically, I was seeing this girl. But the more I spent time with her, the more I realized I didn't want her in my life anymore. She was getting annoying by the day and petty to the max. She somehow found out through her friends that I was getting ready to break it off with her and decided to 'break up' with me before I could break up with her lol.

This REALLY irritated me but also gave me a sigh of relief for finally getting rid of her. But I got to thinking, when a couple breaks up, there's an unspoken winner and a loser. 'Winner' being the one doing the break up and a 'loser' being the latter. So when a girl does this 'break up with you before you break up with her' does the power balance shift towards her even though the guy was planning to break up with her?

 

[PalmaSailor]

“She somehow found out”
How?

 

[Will_V]

So basically, I was seeing this girl. But the more I spent time with her, the more I realized I didn't want her in my life anymore. She was getting annoying by the day and petty to the max. She somehow found out through her friends that I was getting ready to break it off with her and decided to 'break up' with me before I could break up with her lol.

This REALLY irritated me but also gave me a sigh of relief for finally getting rid of her. But I got to thinking, when a couple breaks up, there's an unspoken winner and a loser. 'Winner' being the one doing the break up and a 'loser' being the latter. So when a girl does this 'break up with you before you break up with her' does the power balance shift towards her even though the guy was planning to break up with her?

There is no 'power' after a breakup to create a 'power balance', because the relationship doesn't exist. Getting invested in imaginary games with girls you have decided to part ways with is a waste of time.

The ideal way to break up with a girl is for her to feel good about herself and not feel like a failure - because despite her problems with you, there is always a lesser guy for whom such problems are acceptable, and who she will be able to succeed with, as long as she doesn't feel wrecked by her past. Trying to make her feel like a loser is petty vindictiveness in my book.

It seems to me that you would do well to focus on figuring out how to attract higher-quality girls, rather than seeing who can be the 'best loser' with girls you don't like.

 

[Skills]

As will_v says this is a silly post.... The only thing that helps when the person is the one doing the break up is that it is less painful, vs someone on the receiving end who feels more painful when they did not want to end the relationship... in your case this does not apply and you are lucky that you got the girl in the position of her doing the break up... (when i want to end i prefer hinting to the girl little by little that i want out subcommunication, so she is the one that moves on and does the break up so is easier for her to move on..)