Online & Apps So Far Away

[Smiling_Stray]

I've noticed my in person game is far better than my online game but since I live in what feels like the smallest and most secluded town on the east coast I usually have to resort to online game and even then, someone still has to go the distance. I tend to try and get the girl to come to me (pun not intended) but most of the time they live in a city or area like an hour away and don't have a form of transportation (either because they're 18 or a little older and haven't needed a car or just live in an area that doesn't require one such as a city) and I actually love to drive just about anywhere so I usually end up just going to a place they pick closer to them.

Although recently I've met a girl online that lives farther away then I've ever driven (usually the drive is around an hour). It's a five hour drive to her, which seems like way too much to invest considering she can get to me and just doesn't want the monster of a drive (honestly, even I'm not big on that trip but it's always rewarded if we agree ) but she offered to visit me in the summer. Thing is, I don't even know where I'll be this summer! I might be living somewhere else by then or visiting one of the many places I'm considering moving to and summer is a long way away (like 3 months at the time I'm writing this) so she'll probably lose interest by then.

So what do I do? Do I just commit what's basically interest suicide and offer to go the distance or agree to play the long game? Of course my hopes aren't all that high on this one, so I am talking to other girls who are far closer. It just seems lazy to walk away from her when she's still talking to me and interested.

 

[Beck Bass]

Huh, you using Tinder?

First thing I gotta say is if improving your game and getting laid is really a priority to you, you should live closer to the hoes.
It's nice that you have a car and can bring them to your place, but driving 5 hours to get a girl seems like some alien stuff to me kek

About the game in person thing, online dating is as superficial as it gets. You are your profile, and your profiles is like some pictures and a short description, right? Like 50% is your first photo (maybe even more), then 20% the rest of them, 10% your description and 20% how far away you live lol
Also there's a bunch of catfish stuff, girls selling nudes and/or sex, a bunch of people that have no idea what they are doing, lots of incels/bizarre people and so on.
So to me online dating should never be your main way of getting girls. The hottest girls there just get bombarded with losers and quit pretty fast, most of the time. You might get lucky (I have a friend that met a really beautiful girl that had just moved to our city and another that married this girl he met on Tinder), but it's rare. You can optimize your profile and get more matches, but then you gotta have a good texting game. In my experience, having a nice Instagram profile can help a lot too, but that's a whole other science and takes time...

I think you need a good place to meet girls in person, close to you. If you live in a small city or some rural place, I suggest you consider moving out to somewhere bigger, abundance is gonna make your game better and more girls means more chances of getting laid.
It's really hard to give you advice on how to proceed with that one girl without like seeing the texts and everything, but I would say the bigger underlying problem is really that you are focused on this girl that lives 5 hours away in the first place, when you don't even know if she really exists.

That's my opinion, and advice, I guess, anyway.

Godspeed

 

[Smiling_Stray]

About the game in person thing, online dating is as superficial as it gets. You are your profile, and your profiles is like some pictures and a short description, right? Like 50% is your first photo (maybe even more), then 20% the rest of them, 10% your description and 20% how far away you live lol
Also there's a bunch of catfish stuff, girls selling nudes and/or sex, a bunch of people that have no idea what they are doing, lots of incels/bizarre people and so on.

Why are you telling me how go about online dating? That wasn't my question, I already know this I was simply saying online game isn't my where my greatest strengths are (not that I'm new to it or don't know how to go about it). But thanks anyway??

Huh, you using Tinder?

Haha, no. I use OK since it's got more of the girls I tend to attract.

So to me online dating should never be your main way of getting girls. The hottest girls there just get bombarded with losers and quit pretty fast, most of the time. You might get lucky (I have a friend that met a really beautiful girl that had just moved to our city and another that married this girl he met on Tinder), but it's rare. You can optimize your profile and get more matches, but then you gotta have a good texting game. In my experience, having a nice Instagram profile can help a lot too, but that's a whole other science and takes time...

Actually I have gotten laid off it already, it's easier when they like you first. And you don't "get lucky" throw that out of your vocabulary, you "get laid". Texting I've had enough practice to get good enough to get results with.

I think you need a good place to meet girls in person, close to you. If you live in a small city or some rural place, I suggest you consider moving out to somewhere bigger, abundance is gonna make your game better and more girls means more chances of getting laid.
It's really hard to give you advice on how to proceed with that one girl without like seeing the texts and everything, but I would say the bigger underlying problem is really that you are focused on this girl that lives 5 hours away in the first place, when you don't even know if she really exists.

I'm trying to move right now. I'm still young so I live with my parents but as I mentioned earlier in my post, I'm looking for places to live currently and as I also said in my post I am talking to various other girls that don't present this problem the reason I'm asking about this one is because she's still interested. I don't have oneitise like you seem to think, I barely remember her name. I've had oneitise before for about a year a while back. Damn nearly got killed over it, definitely learned my lesson there. So I don't need a diagnosis, doc. But thanks anyway

That's my opinion, and advice, I guess, anyway.

Godspeed

Did you really read my post? Seems like you glossed over a lot. I'm glad to have ya here man but it seems like ya just joined up today. I'm not sure what kind of experience you have, so i'm just gonna say thanks for your opinion and I appreciate the reply

 

[Beck Bass]

Okay man, sorry for that. Again I feel like I can't give you any specific help without more details, but hey...

I've gotten laid from online dating before as well, but it doesn't fucking compare to the girls I can get in person, in general.
Maybe my profile isn't that awesome as I don't feel like I'm very photogenic (it's rare for me to feel as attractive in photos as I feel when I look in the mirror lol), but I said all of that because from what I read I identify quite a bit, with that in person game being much better than the online game.

I also live with my parents and I'm looking for a place, I know how much it sucks, at least you have a car to get some action, I think it can help a lot, from what I heard (I just took a girl to a motel in a Uber this weekend, hilariously shit haha).

I never heard about that OK thing though, is it any good? Here in Brazil people only seem to use Tinder, I tried some other apps but just there isn't as much people using, really.

I'm fresh new in the forums but I've been studying game for like 5 years. I'm pretty new to online dating though, I only started using it like a year ago, so if you have some good tips I would love to hear from you.

Good luck again man, cheers!

 

[Smiling_Stray]

Hey man, sorry for biting your head off like that lol My first impression was just that some hotshot walked in off the street and started acting like hot shit. You said your profile ain't all that hot since you don't feel very photogenic, I'm assuming you're referring to online dating? (If not don't worry about it, here XD) Try not to worry about your looks too much in general. It's not all that important, I know photos are important online and again, not my field of expertise or anything but I got a photographer buddy I met on here I can refer you to to help work around this (and he does specialize online a bit more).

I also live with my parents and I'm looking for a place, I know how much it sucks, at least you have a car to get some action, I think it can help a lot, from what I heard (I just took a girl to a motel in a Uber this weekend, hilariously shit haha).

Haha yeah, it ain't easy here in the U.S. either! I actually got some shit (as least as much as you can get on here, which ain't much) on here for having a car instead of investing in flying around the world (which might have actually been a better idea lol) and yeah does help in some ways. It gives some wiggle room if you need a place to go. Although that being said fucking in the backseat of a car ain't all it's chalked up to be, there's not much room to move. I think I would've rather had the shitty motel with a bed haha. Although do love my car way too much (would love to hear about the uber story! You could build some credit for yourself here by writing a field report on it on the forums here, I'm waaaaay behind on my reports XD )

I'm fresh new in the forums but I've been studying game for like 5 years. I'm pretty new to online dating though, I only started using it like a year ago, so if you have some good tips I would love to hear from you.

Pretty relatable, I was the same when I joined. I've lost track of how many years I've been doing this but since I'm about 20 I would care to guess I've been doing this for about... shit, seven years! I joined the forums 3 years back. The only online dating tips I'm qualified to give are the ones I use, so here's a quick list:
The first initial text online should be first fun and playful, secondly if possible it should tie back to her profile, and lastly short/ easy to reply to. Everything after is pretty much just about getting her comfortable with you (I use the FORD method, it's not something taught on here but it's worked for me and my buddies. A quick youtube search should bring it up as one of the first videos to pop up. It's the one by practical psychology) and then getting her out on a date or moving on. I usually try to do this within ten texts on my side of the conversation.

Good luck again man, cheers!

Same to you, Cheers!

 

[Seppuku]

I have managed to get distant girls (i.e. from another country) from online dating to bed several times. It's not easy but it can be done - provided that there is a strong mutual interest.

If you have only moderate interest with her, you're probably better off focusing on easier targets. You can then try the long game approach and see where it goes. It's good learning anyway. Just understand that the odds are very small. Like you said, in most likelihood this will be dead in three months.

However, if you are really motivated to get her, and if you think her interest level is good enough, then you can try to organize a quick weekend. The back and forth ride five hours each way means you will have to stay over there. If you are facing a budget question, you can find cheap deals on Airbnb and Booking.com. Or else hotel. In any case, locate an acceptable accommodation, in a good part of town, next to a mall for instance, where you will find coffee shops and other suitable date places.

Don't make it look like you're coming to just to see her, rather, frame it like "It's been a long time I wanted to visit your city. I'm thinking of coming for a weekend." (or similar). Let the idea float and see if you have a warm reaction or not. She will understand that you are talking about meeting her, even if you didn't state it explicitly.

If she looks warm to the idea, then proceed to arrange a set of date. I normally like to use the time constraint that traveling naturally offers. She knows you're here for a short amount of time, and if she wants to meet you she will make time. If you are going to do that, make sure you have the whole weekend there. She should normally be able to fit 3 hours somewhere within your 48 hours stay.

Obviously, girls being girls, you have to factor in a possibility of flaking. So you better have a plan B under hand, in case she doesn't show up. Open your dating app and try to get another fish in your net. You understand that there is a significant chance of getting nothing this weekend. Minimize this chance as much as you can.

Once you get her on a date, no time to fuck around. There will never be another date if you do. So after a couple of hours building a connection, you smoothly but firmly lead to your accommodation.

I have had many successes while traveling. I think there are many factors playing for you when you travel. Most importantly, (1) you have a time constraint - now or never kind of thing - and (2) much less social risk for her since she knows you won't be here after two days. I have summed up my thoughts on the subject in a post in the Tactics forum.

My current girlfriend I met this way in 2017. I had double booked my time by securing a second date in the weekend, in case one didn't show up. It turns out they both showed up (not at the same time ), and I ended up sleeping with both.

Seppuku

 

[Beck Bass]

Hey man, sorry for biting your head off like that lol My first impression was just that some hotshot walked in off the street and started acting like hot shit.

About my first message, I was just trying to get to the point, but I guess my language and the things I wrote made me come off as a douche lol, I didn't mean to.

The first initial text online should be first fun and playful, secondly if possible it should tie back to her profile, and lastly short/ easy to reply to. Everything after is pretty much just about getting her comfortable with you (I use the FORD method, it's not something taught on here but it's worked for me and my buddies.

I'm pretty sure I already heard about that FORD thing but a reminder can't hurt. Also thanks for the tips.

You could build some credit for yourself here by writing a field report on it on the forums here, I'm waaaaay behind on my reports XD

I finally finished writing that report lol, it took me some hours but it's done, if you wanna check it out. I was gonna put up some others before but this one was fresh on my mind so I took your suggestion and wrote it to the best of my abilities haha

 

[Smiling_Stray]

Seppuku, thanks for the advice. Some really good stuff, i'd totally do if i were closer to her (bond-wise, not physically) and had a better financial situation (currently working freelance writing with little results with the little experience on my resume and without a degree, thus my consideration for hopping on the first crazy train to college). I checked out her area for hotels and other places to stay and there were unfortunately only two choices (some bar hotel rooms and a bed and breakfast), sadly they both would've costed about a $100 a night to stay in. That plus gas would cost me an arm and the better half of my dick to go that far

so I just ended up saying something like "(name), hey! sounds like fun, i'll pack the sunblock! we can hangout on the beach if we're both still single pringles by then cool?" which she then agreed to enthusiastically. So essentially the idea is if we're both still single by then (whatever those odds are, which I have some doubts of) i'll just get back in touch with her and reset things. If things go well, we'll meet then like I said to her. Hopefully by then i'll have enough cash to afford a weekend at the beach

beckerzineo, we're all good man! Just a lil' misinterpretation XD As for the advice, happy to oblige You'll probably be doing the same for me again someday! Honestly I haven't had the chance to check out your report yet but I'll do that when I get the chance later tonight Maybe I'll get around to getting one of mine out too

EDIT: Fuck, I just realized how many emoji's I use habitually lol

 

[Seppuku]

So what this shows once again, is that logistics is key.

To me, the most important factors to get laid are, by decreasing importance:

1. The time you spend trying to get laid
2. Logistics
3. Leading the date towards sex
4. Sub-communication and sexual tension

That's my style, anyway.