So much confidence that you lose interest in women and become a-sexual

[MisterX]

This is more for the advanced guys but even newer guys - I'd love to hear what you have to say!

Okay I've mentioned a very good friend of mine. It can be said he's good with girls counting that he's slept with 6-7 girls and is still 22. But he can't be called a natural since he's never approached a single girls in his live or asked a girl out.

Every time he's been with a girl was when at a club some girl comes and tries to seduce him and basically takes him to her place and she escalates on him. Which happens roughly once a year and he only has a one night stand. So he might have been with 6-7 girls but he's had sex less than a guy with a girlfriend has in a month.

And the past year or so he's been super obsessed with his body and looks. He's careful of what he eats and how he lifts every single day, more than a bodybuilder. And yeah his looks have become better, plus he's tall. I'm 6 feet and he's about 6 3/4. And talking all the time how his confidence has never been higher. How he feels that every single girls wants him.

And yet he still hasn't approached a single girl and is having his last year at University. So a few more months of such an easy place to meet girls. And to my knowledge he's rejected about 8-9 really hot girls that literally asked him for sex. And those are only the times that I've been there or someone else can confirm. There have been more girls that at the university try to ask him out or ask to study at his place, and stuff like that.

It's not like those girls were ugly. They are truly hot, even he said for a few of them that they were super super hot. The kind where you'd get a nose bleed if you saw her naked.
Yet every time when I encourage him to just say hi to the super hot girl that is trying to invite him to her place "to study" (c'mon what hot girl invites a guy she doesn't know to her place just to study..).

And every single time the answers he gives is "we'll see" and he does nothing. Then a few weeks later or a month later he tells me that there is no point in trying now cause the girl just got a boyfriend.


I've told him that this might be due to approach anxiety and that he should read GC. But he always says that no guy who has dignity would read internet advice for seducing women. And says that he basically has soo much confidence that he's the sexiest guy on the planet, that he doesn't have any interest in women anymore.




Is that possible - you have so much confidence that women don't attract you anymore? Cause I feel like the truth is that he's crippled by approach anxiety. Since even hot girls that approach him and basically ask him to go to her place, and he auto-rejects them from severe anxiety. Since he's never approach a girl in his life and never experienced rejection.


I'd love to hear what the more experienced guys have to say. Especially Chase and Franco!



-X

 

[Estate]

Well there's a few things I could guess at which I've at least experienced a little of in different phases as I've progressed:

- Looks and attractiveness or even stating you're confident don't necessarily equate to being "good" at chatting up women. He might be shy to approach or shy of what to do if he did accept a study date and was alone with a girl.

- He just has other things he finds more important. I've been here recently myself. I poured a lot of time and energy into getting better in this area of my life over the past year or two. At some point other things become more important and you want to focus on too... similar to this guy, for me it was working out, my career, and some other stuff.

- His world doesn't revolve around women. Similar to the above but taken from his comments. Its easy to get sucked into this world when you read the site every day. There's more to life too.

- After some success you can become complacent. In the beginning you want to just get laid. As meeting women becomes "easier" since you kinda know what you're doing, you DO find yourself shooting down some opportunities with girls. Even relatively hot girls. For me the reason was simple. People are complex, managing expectations and emotions is draining. Once you're not really at a point where you feel like you can't meet women or have sex, you begin to chill out. Really you become less motivated to put that time and energy into meeting women just for the sake of it, and tend to wait a little more until you start meeting truly quality women.

Its hard to say it's right or wrong. It's just different for everyone really and depends on what they are focusing and placing importance on in life at any given time.

 

[Drck]

You are describing a great technique, perhaps the best of the best - and your friend is not even aware of it...

The misconception is that a guy must approach girl in order to 'get her'. This works, true, but there are other ways.

Just the fact that an average guy with some seduction skills approaches a girl (and asking for a number) lowers his value. By approaching her you are already placing her on a pedestal. I know, it is quite subtle, most people don't even think about it, but it is there. Sometimes a girl may 'rejects' you just for the fact that you are approaching her. She simply knows that you are trying to 'get her'. Since she knows it she may put her barriers up (even subconsciously), and no matter what you do you may not be able to get her.

You basically set up a chase frame, and unless you know how to get rid of it she will perceive that you are chasing her. Average guy must approach many girls just to get a couple of numbers, and out of these numbers there is only a limited number of girls that will go for a date. At the same time, you are risking that she is not interested, no matter how hot you think you look. So basically, you put a lot of effort into approaching girls and your results are relatively limited. He may approach 100 girls, get only 25-30 numbers, and out of these 25 numbers get only 5 dates. How many of these 5 dates he can get into his bed? If 3 he is good. His success is minimal, say 3-5%, and that is if he's got decent skills.

On the other hand, if a girl approaches a guy, she is putting him on a pedestal. By default, he has a higher value than she does, she is already investing in him. The guy exerted no effort at all. She setup her frame, she is chasing him. The most important thing is that she is very much interested in him. So his results are relatively high. He may be approached by 10 girls, and out of these, with the right attitude, he can nail 4-5 easily and 2-3 with some extra effort. That is HUGE success rate, giving that he did nothing. That is 70-90% success rate.

In reality it is of course not that easy, but let's look at the guy that you are describing:

* He is obsessed with his body and looks. Apparently it is working quite well - he looks good, girls appreciate the fact that he is taking care of his body/looks and of his health. He shows them that he has great self esteem. That is huge. Girls love guys with high self esteem and high value.
* He lifts weights. He looks muscular. Testosterone is pumping in his blood. He is strong. That is huge. Girls love guys like that, girls love testosterone and masculinity.
* He has a huge confidence. Confidence is a huge factor, girls love guys with high confidence.
* He feels that every single girl wants him. He thinks he's the sexiest guy on the planet. That is also huge. That is great attitude, he assumes attraction and sexiness, and by that he draws many girls in.
* He rejected several hot girls. That is huge. Girls talk, now they know he has high standard. He is a huge challenge to girls, not so many guys can reject hot girls. Girls love challenge, they have to 'get him' - and not the other way.
* He says "We'll see" and he does nothing. That is huge. He's got laid back attitude, he is not needy and clingy, and he doesn't chase girls. That is very attractive to girls.
* He's tall. Girls generally like taller guys than shorter. Another good thing.

* Overall, he presents himself as a Man. He does manly things, he doesn't chase girls, and he is not needy for girls (as he's got more important priorities in his life, such as weight lifting)

All the above are great things, he generates huge attraction, and he's being approached by many girls. What is good is, that except how tall you are every guy can learn to do exactly the same: High self-esteem, high confidence, assumption of attraction, weight lifting, being a challenge and having laid back attitude.

THAT IS A TRUE FUCKING FORMULA FOR HUGE SUCCESS WITH GIRLS FOR EVERY GUY ANY AGE. You do these and you don't need any seduction skills. You don't need great communication skills. You don't need to approach any girl. You don't need great social circle, and you don't need to be great with girls at all. All you need is to allow them to seduce you, meaning you still have to take them to your place and allow them to have sex with you...

So, of course he is also doing wrong things. He doesn't act upon the attraction he generates. By not taking the hot girls to his place, he doesn't allow them to get naked and jump on him. This guy discovered perhaps the best style of seduction - and then he just throws it away by being simply foolish and stubborn...

Learn from this guy as much as you can. Learn from what he is doing great, and learn from his mistakes. You'll go out with him couple of times and you learn much more than reading hundreds of articles on the web...

 

[MisterX]

You are describing a great technique, perhaps the best of the best - and your friend is not even aware of it...

The misconception is that a guy must approach girl in order to 'get her'. This works, true, but there are other ways.

Just the fact that an average guy with some seduction skills approaches a girl (and asking for a number) lowers his value. By approaching her you are already placing her on a pedestal. I know, it is quite subtle, most people don't even think about it, but it is there. Sometimes a girl may 'rejects' you just for the fact that you are approaching her. She simply knows that you are trying to 'get her'. Since she knows it she may put her barriers up (even subconsciously), and no matter what you do you may not be able to get her.

You basically set up a chase frame, and unless you know how to get rid of it she will perceive that you are chasing her. Average guy must approach many girls just to get a couple of numbers, and out of these numbers there is only a limited number of girls that will go for a date. At the same time, you are risking that she is not interested, no matter how hot you think you look. So basically, you put a lot of effort into approaching girls and your results are relatively limited. He may approach 100 girls, get only 25-30 numbers, and out of these 25 numbers get only 5 dates. How many of these 5 dates he can get into his bed? If 3 he is good. His success is minimal, say 3-5%, and that is if he's got decent skills.

On the other hand, if a girl approaches a guy, she is putting him on a pedestal. By default, he has a higher value than she does, she is already investing in him. The guy exerted no effort at all. She setup her frame, she is chasing him. The most important thing is that she is very much interested in him. So his results are relatively high. He may be approached by 10 girls, and out of these, with the right attitude, he can nail 4-5 easily and 2-3 with some extra effort. That is HUGE success rate, giving that he did nothing. That is 70-90% success rate.

In reality it is of course not that easy, but let's look at the guy that you are describing:

* He is obsessed with his body and looks. Apparently it is working quite well - he looks good, girls appreciate the fact that he is taking care of his body/looks and of his health. He shows them that he has great self esteem. That is huge. Girls love guys with high self esteem and high value.
* He lifts weights. He looks muscular. Testosterone is pumping in his blood. He is strong. That is huge. Girls love guys like that, girls love testosterone and masculinity.
* He has a huge confidence. Confidence is a huge factor, girls love guys with high confidence.
* He feels that every single girl wants him. He thinks he's the sexiest guy on the planet. That is also huge. That is great attitude, he assumes attraction and sexiness, and by that he draws many girls in.
* He rejected several hot girls. That is huge. Girls talk, now they know he has high standard. He is a huge challenge to girls, not so many guys can reject hot girls. Girls love challenge, they have to 'get him' - and not the other way.
* He says "We'll see" and he does nothing. That is huge. He's got laid back attitude, he is not needy and clingy, and he doesn't chase girls. That is very attractive to girls.
* He's tall. Girls generally like taller guys than shorter. Another good thing.

* Overall, he presents himself as a Man. He does manly things, he doesn't chase girls, and he is not needy for girls (as he's got more important priorities in his life, such as weight lifting)

All the above are great things, he generates huge attraction, and he's being approached by many girls. What is good is, that except how tall you are every guy can learn to do exactly the same: High self-esteem, high confidence, assumption of attraction, weight lifting, being a challenge and having laid back attitude.

THAT IS A TRUE FUCKING FORMULA FOR HUGE SUCCESS WITH GIRLS FOR EVERY GUY ANY AGE. You do these and you don't need any seduction skills. You don't need great communication skills. You don't need to approach any girl. You don't need great social circle, and you don't need to be great with girls at all. All you need is to allow them to seduce you, meaning you still have to take them to your place and allow them to have sex with you...

So, of course he is also doing wrong things. He doesn't act upon the attraction he generates. By not taking the hot girls to his place, he doesn't allow them to get naked and jump on him. This guy discovered perhaps the best style of seduction - and then he just throws it away by being simply foolish and stubborn...

Learn from this guy as much as you can. Learn from what he is doing great, and learn from his mistakes. You'll go out with him couple of times and you learn much more than reading hundreds of articles on the web...

1st - if you approach a girl and she thinks you're beneath her that is because you're an average guy without much fundamentals and game. If you're her dream guy with great fundamentals and game she's be smitten and thanking god that you approached her.

2nd - Waiting for girls to approach you is no way near a good strategy. Even he gets girls approaching him only during the beginning of the school(university?) year. Then he does nothing and they find boyfriends pretty quickly.

3rd - He doesn't reject hot girls - He rejects every girl and has absolutely no interest in them. A naked Miranda Kerr can come to him and ask for sex and he'd keep walking.

4th - It's his final year at University - only 4-5 months left and he hasn't been with a single girl. All that the girls talk about him is that he's impotent or gay.

5th - all the girls are from social circle(school/University) or night clubs. Both things that I don't do. I dropped out to run my company, and my social circle sucks for meeting girls(no attractive or single girls). Cause I never felt problems with cold approaching and never felt a need to build a social circle.


I have a suspicion that the reason he rejects those girls is cause they are not his type. Lets say he's into brunettes but only blondes approach him. Or he gets approached only be girls that are not his type.

Do you see the problem with what you're saying is a great system? It would work if are like Justin Bieber type of famous and you have thousands of girls throwing themselves at you. Or you don't care with what girl you sleep with.

But with him there was recently a girl he really really really like and was smitten. In his words it was the first time in his life that he felt real connection with a girl. But he didn't do anything like asking her out or closing, and she was shy and not aggressive and she didn't do anything. Now she has a boyfriend and he's left sulking and full of regrets.



That's the problem with this strategy. If you wait for girls to approach you - you're very limited. You get only 10-15-20 girls per year and from those none might be to you tastes. While if you are the one approaching you get literally thousands of girls that are exactly to you tastes and any that doesn't reject you is going to be a girl that you like.

I honestly hope that you are more proactive with your dating life and you take charge. Not wait around for a hot girl to come approach you.

btw read the article "Why cold approach works better that anything else"



-X

 

[Estate]

X,
Drck made a decent point about cold approaching but of course it could be argued forever. Cold approaching just has to be done as girls are not proactive but yes... the very action of approaching hands the power to the woman to accept the advance or not.
Your fundamentals will effect the likely outcome so that's why we work on them.

In some schools there is the concept of a yes or a no girl. With a no girl.. any amount of game ccannot change her response due to factors beyond just you and it's best to just move on. But is SHE approaches you then she won't be in the no category.

The main issue is though... why do you care so much what this guy does?
He's clearly not into pickup and even meeting or dating anyone appears to be low on his priorities right now... which I don't see a problem with really.

 

[Drck]

MisterX, you are describing that your friend is getting laid or getting offers to get laid with hot girls without doing any approaching... and then you are giving me reasons why it can't be that way and that he's wrong. I know it can be that way and I know that it happens that way for years - I'm only trying to explain how and why...

You know, it is just a totally different style that most are familiar with. New guys are not approaching girls and they can easily argue that they don't get approached by girls and asked for sex either, thus the logical conclusion is that in order to have sex they have to approach and seduce the girl. And that is true, if a guy wants to get someplace he's got to start with the first step. He's go to do more and more steps to get further - and as he advances he may realize that the situation has changed now...

1. You don't really have to approach girls if you have plenty of them approaching you. But what does that mean? Well, it depends on your taste. If you want to get laid every week but only 10 girls are approaching you per year, true - you have to approach much more. It also depends on your fundamentals. If you have really good fundamentals plenty of girls will be approaching you, thus you don't need to be approaching them. There might be 3 girls on average approaching you per week, but you are only looking for 1 every two weeks...

If you are experienced you can actually approach her in indirect way, meaning that she will still be approaching you while you place yourself at the right position in her vicinity. If you understand her body language you simply recognize whether she is interested in you or not, even before you actually 'approach her' and thus avoiding lots of headaches of classical approaching. Which makes you even much more efficient by "not approaching". It's basically 50/50 effort, you do some part and the girl does some part. If the girl you are describing is really interested in you, she would be much happier to participate in this 'approach' rather than thanking God for it.

2. I'm not sure what is your personal experience, but my personal experience is that the hottest girls that I know in my life hit on me while I was totally passive and disinterested. Kind of like you described your friend. Again, with good fundamentals they will approach you and not the other way, and if you get approached several times per week the whole strategy is much more efficient then approaching say 50 girls a week. Your success rate is actually much greater if you don't approach than if you approach (but, of course, you have to start moving when she approaches you, and that is your friend's biggest mistake because he does nothing).

From this point of view, you are actually hurting yourself by approaching, because the same hot girls that would approach you will put up barricades since they know you are trying to 'get them'. In their eyes you are like any other guy who tries to 'get them'...

See, the hot girl is used to guys hitting on her all the time. But if she sees a hot guy (good fundamentals) who is laid back and appears disinterested in her, it is a challenge for her. She wants to find out if she is good enough for him, and he's got to allow her to prove herself, she's got to invest into him, she's got to seduce him. Most girls of course don't do it in direct ways like guys do, it is much more indirect, they are just "hinting" - thus the guy has to recognize it and act accordingly... You described it above with the "study" example; all he had to do is to go "study" to his or her place.

3 and 4. Ok, he might be a gay who is not interested in girls, impotent, a guy who's got things for brunets only, or just a guy who absolutely has no clue WTF is he doing. But who really cares? The style is very efficient. You wrote it yourself - hot girls are approaching him and they ask him for sex. They are already seduced, all he (any guy) has to do is move things forward to 'allow it' to happen. There is a reason why they are approaching him, and I described that reason above.

5. Well, I don't know what to tell you. Try the style you described because it works, and you can have much more success - while not approaching girls...?

6. You do care which type of girls you sleep with, simply because you always have more choices and you have your standards. Meaning that you reject some girls (and not all of them like your friend).

7. The girl he really really really likes and wants didn't go for him for couple of possible reasons: He was in chase mode, e.g. he was trying to 'get her' and she put her barriers up. He had no experience because he - foolishly - rejected every girls who were interested in him and who approached him. He didn't do anything to have sex with her, meaning that even if she shows very high interest in him, and even if she approaches him, he's still have to do SOME things: such as open mouth and make some noise (ugha, aga, huga will do it), touch her, kiss her, and perhaps take her to his place.

8. When you say you get approached by 10-20 girls per year: Ok, that is 1-2 girls every month, meaning you can (potentially) get laid every 3 weeks or so with a new girl. Assuming that you have a good connection with her, you can have sex multiple times with her, so you can pretty much get laid every weekend by not approaching. So in 1 year you can sleep say with 10-15 different girls, each one multiple times, by NOT approaching. How many girls do you approach every week/year, and how many do you actually nail by approaching? I bet it is not more than 10-15 girls per year, and that is exactly why I am talking about efficiency.

Are you saying that hot blonds are not good enough for you, you only like hot brunets? Well, in that case you can be like your friend and reject all the girls while waiting for the right one. Good luck with That One. Or you can practice so you have the needed experience - once the Right One shows up.

The trick is basically not to get the one you really like while ignoring other girls. The trick is to sleep with girls so you have plenty of experience - to get the one you really like....


Anyway, there is much more to it:

* You can get more girls to approach you by going to more places where girls are. Say you double your number of places where girls are, so logically you will double number of girls that approach you - and you double your chances. What, 20-40 girls approaching you every year is not good enough? Out of these, there is none that you would "like"? Are you too good to fuck at least 10 of those that approach you every year?

* You don't exactly have to wait till she "approaches" you. If you can read her body language, you can easily recognize whether she is interested in your or not, and then act upon it (get closer, start talking,...). For example, you are standing someplace (WTF, supermarket?) and she is walking by. You give her a good look, she looks back at you, perhaps smiles. She may repeat that several times, and she will if she is interested. Now she slows down, even stops couple of feet away from you and looks at something. Well, can you read what she just said with her behavior?

She said: This guy is interesting, he looks sexy and I'll give him a chance. I might even turn around and go back, walk around him again so he notices me and has more time to make up his mind. She says she is interested and you have good chances, and the more she does to be noticed by you, the higher chances you have...

Ok, it is not exactly that she is approaching you, but her actions speaks loud enough. You just can't expect that every good looking women will approach you, but you can expect that she will show interest if she is interested. What happened, you've just tripled your chances? Quadrupled? Two girls approaching and giving you chances every week? Don't be so cheap with your math, with some experience you can easily get 3-4 girls like that every week. If you don't like random girls or you need more time, here is a tip: Some cashiers are also quite cute and hot...

* If you increase your fundamentals as described above (self esteem, confidence, weight lifting, being laid back,...) more and more hot girls will show interest in you. They will give you a good chance to approach them, and some of them will also approach you directly. My situation is little bit different than most of guys here, but I can say that in any group of 10 girls that I am around about 2-3 would approach me with an interest, and another 2-3 would show good interest. That is say half, usually even more, but sometimes less. Of this half I can get half without doing much or anything, so that is 2-3 girls with no effort and no approach. Another 2-3 with some seduction skills and perhaps approaching.

At the same time, I don't have a real desire to sleep with a different girl every couple of days, I am more conservative, therefore more picky. But I know guys who are much better than me, one can perhaps nail 8 out of 10 girls of the same group...

 

[MisterX]

MisterX, you are describing that your friend is getting laid or getting offers to get laid with hot girls without doing any approaching... and then you are giving me reasons why it can't be that way and that he's wrong. I know it can be that way and I know that it happens that way for years - I'm only trying to explain how and why...

You know, it is just a totally different style that most are familiar with. New guys are not approaching girls and they can easily argue that they don't get approached by girls and asked for sex either, thus the logical conclusion is that in order to have sex they have to approach and seduce the girl. And that is true, if a guy wants to get someplace he's got to start with the first step. He's go to do more and more steps to get further - and as he advances he may realize that the situation has changed now...

1. You don't really have to approach girls if you have plenty of them approaching you. But what does that mean? Well, it depends on your taste. If you want to get laid every week but only 10 girls are approaching you per year, true - you have to approach much more. It also depends on your fundamentals. If you have really good fundamentals plenty of girls will be approaching you, thus you don't need to be approaching them. There might be 3 girls on average approaching you per week, but you are only looking for 1 every two weeks...

If you are experienced you can actually approach her in indirect way, meaning that she will still be approaching you while you place yourself at the right position in her vicinity. If you understand her body language you simply recognize whether she is interested in you or not, even before you actually 'approach her' and thus avoiding lots of headaches of classical approaching. Which makes you even much more efficient by "not approaching". It's basically 50/50 effort, you do some part and the girl does some part. If the girl you are describing is really interested in you, she would be much happier to participate in this 'approach' rather than thanking God for it.

2. I'm not sure what is your personal experience, but my personal experience is that the hottest girls that I know in my life hit on me while I was totally passive and disinterested. Kind of like you described your friend. Again, with good fundamentals they will approach you and not the other way, and if you get approached several times per week the whole strategy is much more efficient then approaching say 50 girls a week. Your success rate is actually much greater if you don't approach than if you approach (but, of course, you have to start moving when she approaches you, and that is your friend's biggest mistake because he does nothing).

From this point of view, you are actually hurting yourself by approaching, because the same hot girls that would approach you will put up barricades since they know you are trying to 'get them'. In their eyes you are like any other guy who tries to 'get them'...

See, the hot girl is used to guys hitting on her all the time. But if she sees a hot guy (good fundamentals) who is laid back and appears disinterested in her, it is a challenge for her. She wants to find out if she is good enough for him, and he's got to allow her to prove herself, she's got to invest into him, she's got to seduce him. Most girls of course don't do it in direct ways like guys do, it is much more indirect, they are just "hinting" - thus the guy has to recognize it and act accordingly... You described it above with the "study" example; all he had to do is to go "study" to his or her place.

3 and 4. Ok, he might be a gay who is not interested in girls, impotent, a guy who's got things for brunets only, or just a guy who absolutely has no clue WTF is he doing. But who really cares? The style is very efficient. You wrote it yourself - hot girls are approaching him and they ask him for sex. They are already seduced, all he (any guy) has to do is move things forward to 'allow it' to happen. There is a reason why they are approaching him, and I described that reason above.

5. Well, I don't know what to tell you. Try the style you described because it works, and you can have much more success - while not approaching girls...?

6. You do care which type of girls you sleep with, simply because you always have more choices and you have your standards. Meaning that you reject some girls (and not all of them like your friend).

7. The girl he really really really likes and wants didn't go for him for couple of possible reasons: He was in chase mode, e.g. he was trying to 'get her' and she put her barriers up. He had no experience because he - foolishly - rejected every girls who were interested in him and who approached him. He didn't do anything to have sex with her, meaning that even if she shows very high interest in him, and even if she approaches him, he's still have to do SOME things: such as open mouth and make some noise (ugha, aga, huga will do it), touch her, kiss her, and perhaps take her to his place.

8. When you say you get approached by 10-20 girls per year: Ok, that is 1-2 girls every month, meaning you can (potentially) get laid every 3 weeks or so with a new girl. Assuming that you have a good connection with her, you can have sex multiple times with her, so you can pretty much get laid every weekend by not approaching. So in 1 year you can sleep say with 10-15 different girls, each one multiple times, by NOT approaching. How many girls do you approach every week/year, and how many do you actually nail by approaching? I bet it is not more than 10-15 girls per year, and that is exactly why I am talking about efficiency.

Are you saying that hot blonds are not good enough for you, you only like hot brunets? Well, in that case you can be like your friend and reject all the girls while waiting for the right one. Good luck with That One. Or you can practice so you have the needed experience - once the Right One shows up.

The trick is basically not to get the one you really like while ignoring other girls. The trick is to sleep with girls so you have plenty of experience - to get the one you really like....


Anyway, there is much more to it:

* You can get more girls to approach you by going to more places where girls are. Say you double your number of places where girls are, so logically you will double number of girls that approach you - and you double your chances. What, 20-40 girls approaching you every year is not good enough? Out of these, there is none that you would "like"? Are you too good to fuck at least 10 of those that approach you every year?

* You don't exactly have to wait till she "approaches" you. If you can read her body language, you can easily recognize whether she is interested in your or not, and then act upon it (get closer, start talking,...). For example, you are standing someplace (WTF, supermarket?) and she is walking by. You give her a good look, she looks back at you, perhaps smiles. She may repeat that several times, and she will if she is interested. Now she slows down, even stops couple of feet away from you and looks at something. Well, can you read what she just said with her behavior?

She said: This guy is interesting, he looks sexy and I'll give him a chance. I might even turn around and go back, walk around him again so he notices me and has more time to make up his mind. She says she is interested and you have good chances, and the more she does to be noticed by you, the higher chances you have...

Ok, it is not exactly that she is approaching you, but her actions speaks loud enough. You just can't expect that every good looking women will approach you, but you can expect that she will show interest if she is interested. What happened, you've just tripled your chances? Quadrupled? Two girls approaching and giving you chances every week? Don't be so cheap with your math, with some experience you can easily get 3-4 girls like that every week. If you don't like random girls or you need more time, here is a tip: Some cashiers are also quite cute and hot...

* If you increase your fundamentals as described above (self esteem, confidence, weight lifting, being laid back,...) more and more hot girls will show interest in you. They will give you a good chance to approach them

<-- This is exactly cold approach with the girl giving you an approach invitation. And is what I was talking about.

And the 10-20 girls approaching you per year means that there might be only 10 girls. And at university they can approach you just to get a feel a who you are.

I don't know how things are where you live, but here I don't see often at all girls to cold approach guys on the street or the supermarket.

And btw you're telling me that it is better not to approach girls and wait for them and this is how you get good.

Or that for example you by not approaching can get more girls that a guy like Chase gets from approaching.

And even if you get 1 girl that approaches you every month there is very low chances that it would be that stunning girl you really like.


Also I don't know how much you "practice" but it's not that difficult to get 1 girl every month from cold approach. Especially since I look around the girls I like and see which give me approach invitations. And this is very different then getting approached by girls.

You might get approached by a girl once a month, but you can get 5-10 approach invitations every day you're out and about if you have good fundamentals. I don't see how approaching those girls is a bad thing to you but okay.

I guess I'm just the kind of guy that when I see a girl I like and see she wants me to talk to her - I just go and talk to her. Not waiting for some random girls to come talk to me by chance.






As to Estate: He's a good friends of mine and I'm kinda worried for him. I wander if something is wrong with him like sth very bad has happened. Maybe I don't understand what you said that sometimes you don't care about women. Since as I've mentioned I have very high sex drive (like having sex 4-5 times a day with a girl every single day) I can't go a single day without having sex unless there is no girl to do it with. I might be super busy with my company or some hobby but I stull wouldn't be able to go a day without sex if there is a girl I can do it with. Maybe I'm a rare case.


- X

 

[Estate]

Swings and roundabouts guys.

X. Guys like sex. Shock, right?

But iif your life revolves around that and nothing else then you need to step back and look at yourself.

Your friends not exhibiting any worrying behaviors. He's either too busy, has other priorities right now , has no interest in women or he's just bad with women. It's up to him to decide.

This amount of focus and women and nothing else is more unhealthy.

I'm male... I live meeting women but even I lay off it at times of work, hobbies, family, fitness goals or anything else is consuming the majority of my time and I want to focus on other things.

Let it go is my advice. You made your case and he'll make his own choices. PUA breeds some weird world views and this is one of them.

 

[Drck]

Not that it matters, but cold approach is still an approach. You go there with the intention to get the particular girl. What I'm describing is, that there is no intention (at first), you go out and only act when a random girl shows an interest. Subtle difference, results are the same, however you are not out with the intention to get any girl...

Example: I go out yesterday to car dealer, sit down alone by a table, open a book. I notice Good looking girl from administration, give her a good look up and down, and I make sure that she sees me in her periphery. Then I ignore her, looking in my book. 5 mins later she comes closer, starts talking to customer next to my table. Pure coincidence? No way, I wasn't born yesterday, she's checking me out. She's talking some 2 minutes to the customer, and I look occasionally directly at her. She never looks in my eyes but I clearly know that she noticed me, now she's getting nervous, ... Phone number? Date? Note that I didn't go out with the intention to get any girl...

 

[MisterX]

Not that it matters, but cold approach is still an approach. You go there with the intention to get the particular girl. What I'm describing is, that there is no intention (at first), you go out and only act when a random girl shows an interest. Subtle difference, results are the same, however you are not out with the intention to get any girl...

Example: I go out yesterday to car dealer, sit down alone by a table, open a book. I notice Good looking girl from administration, give her a good look up and down, and I make sure that she sees me in her periphery. Then I ignore her, looking in my book. 5 mins later she comes closer, starts talking to customer next to my table. Pure coincidence? No way, I wasn't born yesterday, she's checking me out. She's talking some 2 minutes to the customer, and I look occasionally directly at her. She never looks in my eyes but I clearly know that she noticed me, now she's getting nervous, ... Phone number? Date? Note that I didn't go out with the intention to get any girl...

So basically if you get approach invitations it's not a cold approach? It might be a matter of the meaning of "cold approach" but unless she comes to talk to you or it's in a social circle situation, if you start talking to her it's a cold approach. You just get an invitation to approach.

But honestly I don't see a poing in discussing what the correct meaning of "cold approach" is. The point is that you get my point. That if you approach 50 -100 girls that all give you approach invitations you're closing rate won't be that low. Of course not as high as if you got 50-100 gils to approach you, but let's be realistic every guy that gets approach by 50 hot girls in a year is waaaay to good looking/rich/famous to even consider trying game. And I doubt you're this guy, as well as any guy on GC including me.



-X

 

[Drck]

50 girls per YEAR is approximately 1 girl a week.... I don't want to break your illusions but I can do way better than that by what you call "cold approach" - and at the same time I'm not really approaching a single girl (as you described your friend above)... If I was up to it I would do 1 per day...

I also believe that looking at what I'm actually talking about from the right point of view, at least half of the guys here can do the same with relative ease - assuming that the guys have good fundamentals. It all depends on fundamentals and where you go, it's obviously impossible while sitting home.

But I don't get it - you describe that your friend has girls going after him while he is totally disinterested - and then you tell me that it is impossible...? Your friend has a really great style, he generates huge attraction... The only problem is that he doesn't capitalize on it. He also doesn't have the seduction knowledge by which he could multiple fold his success....
--------------
Added:

Even though there are lots of similarities, I'm actually describing totally different style.

When a guy goes out as is being usually described here on GC, he goes out to get girls. That is his agenda, his objection or goal. He is approaching girls via e.g. asking for phone numbers or - like you say - cold approach. Or any other way. And that is good, he eventually gets girls.

What I'm describing is little bit different. I can go out WITHOUT any desire to get a girl. I don't have the agenda, I'm not approaching, I'm not asking for phone numbers, I don't really "cold approach" a single girl. I don't care, I'm not interested (like your friend). I give her a good look or two - and then I read my fucking book. I don't really consider it as cold approach because I'm not trying to get her at first place, I'm there to get a service for my car.

But I have great fundamentals, and IMO I look sexy. Well, I can't really judge myself because I can't see myself, but I judge by reactions that I generate in girls. And the reactions are good. I generate huge attraction, and girls do approach me, including the hottest ones I've ever met. I am also a good observer, so I recognize quite easily when the girl is interested, e.g. when she gives me approach invitation. And only when she shows great interest I act. Does it make sense?

See, those are two very DIFFERENT styles. One has the agenda, and the other doesn't. Girls usually approach you when you don't have the agenda of "getting" them. Girls are very sensitive, and they can simply read it in your behavior. They usually recognize even the cold approach - not while you are doing it but by your actions after that...

Hope it makes sense...