sober night game

[Don Giovanni]

Hi, hope everyone is doing great.

I completely quit drinking, because it went out of hands in last two weeks. Just came home from my favourite venue and am looking for some tips on how do you get in the vibe when sober in more chaotic type venues

Tonight went something like this… I got out, opened 2 girls immediately, then hanged with my friends. Then I saw a girl I was making out 2 weeks ago and it felt weird seeing her. I just said hello, moved on, then another girl (our date previous week didnt go as planed but she invited me for a drink tomorow anyway) came and said hello, wanted to hang out, but I kind of dismissed her. Made me feel like shit. Saw another girl who I once slept with, but didn’t get to more than that, said hi. All that made me feel unmitivated and uninterested. All these were previous drunk encounters, I was pretty sure would go nowhere this night.

I’m writing all this to give you context… The venue is big, a lot of people, but more or less repeating costumers, so you get to know them quickly if you cold approach.

After that I met some new people, 2 of them pretty hot girls. 10s by my standards. But I just didn’t feel it. I was forcing myself to interest myself in what they were saying. I didn’t even try to game them, I just wanted to get in a better mood somehow. Didn’t work, I was still in a bad mood, seeing those girls from the upoer paragraph walk around the venue.

I have to force myself to be more upbeat and seductive without alcohol. I tend to get cynical and not fun.

This wasn’t ment to be a whining post, sory if it came out that way. I want to hear how do you guys control your state in such scenarios. What would you do.

Thanks for replies!

 

[ElderPrice]

You can't 'force' yourself to feel a certain way. It doesn't really work like that. All you have to do is find what is fun for you. If before the only way you'd have fun in such an environment is with alcohol, then you're going to have to adapt. Go out because you enjoy meeting new people - guys and girls. Talk to girls because it's fun flirting with them. Dance because it's fun and you like the music. Stuff like that.

Also, there's no rational reason why you're giving these previous women the power to destroy your mood. If you bump into them, smile and say hi. If they don't reciprocate, who cares? Move on and meet more people. If you bump into them again later, smile and give them a fist bump, then keep walking. You're a fun guy in a great mood and you're having fun socializing. That's what you do. You're not going to implode because some chick was in a bad mood. Sucks for her. Go meet people who are also in a great mood and having fun.

 

[POB]

Give some time for your body (and brain) to adapt to that new scenario.

When I quit drinking it took me six months to figure out how to do night stuff while sober.
Alcohol is like any crutch: once your remove it, it's gonna be a while before you stop limping.

 

[Don Giovanni]

Also, there's no rational reason why you're giving these previous women the power to destroy your mood. If you bump into them, smile and say hi. If they don't reciprocate, who cares? Move on and meet more people. If you bump into them again later, smile and give them a fist bump, then keep walking. You're a fun guy in a great mood and you're having fun socializing. That's what you do. You're not going to implode because some chick was in a bad mood. Sucks for her. Go meet people who are also in a great mood and having fun.

Right, I completly forgot that one, being caught in the moment. Then I realised reading your post the next day how stupid it is to base your mood on other peoples reactions. Deffinetly something I have to work on.

Give some time for your body (and brain) to adapt to that new scenario.

When I quit drinking it took me six months to figure out how to do night stuff while sober.
Alcohol is like any crutch: once your remove it, it's gonna be a while before you stop limping.

Ok, so its not just me. Thank you for your input!

 

[Tr1cky]

I read something about alcohol which always helped me out with the urge to drink during nightgame. It was a study on alcohol and they found that drinking doesn't increase the "highs" of the "good times" when out but rather it makes the "lows" more tolerable.

That's why whenever you get to a party/club/night venue and there isn't much going on and you're trying to settle in to the vibe you get such a strong urge to drink because you're trying to kill those bad awkward feelings. If you learn to resist the urge at that point and fight through that you don't get any benefit from alcohol.

Whenever I go into a night venue, mostly when im rusty now, I'll spend the first 30 minutes trying to relax myself as much as possible. No jerky movements, no looking around expectantly, just chill into the environment until im 100% relaxed. Then when the venue has filled up I'll start approaching.

 

[DonGately]

I find it easier to talk to hot chicks who are drinking while I am sober, fwiw.

 

[Vision]

Make sure you're eating in a way that gives your body energy. If you eat/drink like shit, you'll always need a crutch to get into a good mood.

Make sure you exercise regularly.

When you approach them, think about having sex with them, pulling their hair, them sucking your dick, or whatever gets you off.

Before you go out, think about times when you've been successful and proud of yourself in the past, good times you've had, anything you can be grateful for and relive those moments.

 

[Will_V]

If you have trouble getting into a good mood I highly recommend meditation. Basically anything related to state control will probably be helpful.
Meditation helps you be in the moment rather than running on an internal circuit. When you experience each moment rather than just relying on chemical momentum, it's easy to regulate mood.

 

[Skills]

I am a clubber that have actually never touch a drink or done drugs, funny how women come up to me all the time to ask me for drugs or think i am drunk, cause i have sooo much confidence at the clubs without drugs or alcohol... What i am going to tell you again similar to aa is progressive desensitization, that is going to happen the more you go out constantly, and at times if you stop going out constantly will come back very similar to aa... One thing one my old wings used to do since he was not a dancer like me is get a glass of water and have a napkin around so it looks like a drink.....