LR Social Circle from Scratch

[Michael Chief]

I stopped writing FRs and LRs a long time ago but I've been meaning to write this one for a while now due to all of the valuable bits and lessons in the story. This happened years ago, well before COVID.

A few friends and I decided to go out drinking, and decided to check out a bar that they were all familiar with. I was the only one who had never been there. Upon arriving, the owner greeted all my friends because they had met before. "Hey! Long time no see!" they all said to each other as they hugged. I decided to see if I could pull a little mental trick just for the shiggles. After they all finished their greetings, I went up to the owner, shook his hand, and said, "Remember me?" while smiling. Immediately, he said "No" with a sort of accusatory tone. We stared at each other for a good half minute. He broke first and happily yelled out "Of course I do!" while hugging me with the same energy he had while greeting my other friends. Whether or not I actually gaslit him into believing he had met me before, it turned out well because he was giving me a bunch of free drinks and we ended up being real friends later on.

The friend I was closest to in that group was a coworker who was technically my boss. Though his position was higher than mine, it's not like his role actually involved managing me, though. It was just kind of funny to tell girls that he was my boss. Well, as a good wingman who needed to hype up my bro, that's exactly what I did.

As the bar began filling up with various mixed groups, I started random conversations with most of them. If there were at least two girls in the group I was talking to, I'd signal for my friend to come in, introduce him as my "boss," talk about how awesome he was, and proceed to act like a very casual friend rather than a subordinate.

The first significant group I talked to consisted of two or three girls, and the second had a mix of several girls and guys. My target was one girl in the second group, HBHotTwin. She was an identical twin, but the one I thought was the more attractive of the two. And my god she was absolutely gorgeous. Undoubtedly one of the hottest women I've ever been with. Also, I was such a pickup nerd at the time that I actually had her saved in my phone as "HBHotTwin" for the longest time.

I merged the two groups as any good PUA would do. Here's an excerpt from my upcoming book that I plan on releasing within a couple weeks that describes the "technique" on how to do this part:

One of my main techniques in socialization is being a social bridge. In plain English, it simply means being the guy who introduces people to each other. This usually involves getting to know people well enough to find something at least somewhat praiseworthy, or enough information to find commonalities among different people. For example, you can introduce Gary to Beth by telling Beth that Gary traveled to fifty different countries, and telling Gary that Beth is a Youtuber with half a million subscribers. You can introduce Emily to Nina by saying that they’re both music teachers, or that they’re both into rock climbing. The latter method of pointing out a commonality also does them the courtesy of giving them a conversation topic that they’re both familiar with.

You can also introduce people to each other by telling them how you know them. You can introduce Terry to Jordan by telling Jordan that Terry is your friend from high school, and telling Terry that Jordan worked with you on that marketing project last month.

Sometimes, it can be even easier. It can be perfectly fine to introduce people to each other with just their job titles or even just their names. However, it’s always best to hype them up somehow. Be excited to introduce those people to each other. Have the attitude that you think it would be awesome for those two people to meet and get along.

After you introduce two people to each other, you can stick around for a little while to make sure their interaction is smooth, and proceed to leave them alone to have their own conversation as soon as they start talking about things that don’t involve you. Alternatively, you can excuse yourself immediately if you know that at least one of those people has at least passable conversational skills. You can then go on to talk to other people.

At any social event, make sure that you are constantly introducing people to each other, even if you just met them. This will make everyone around you assume that you are a popular guy, making you even more of a popular guy that people become curious about. You become the guy that people want to get to know because you seem to know everyone.

How much is too much, though? When should you stop being a social bridge? Truth be told, there have been many, many instances when I would try to introduce some people to each other, and they would tell me that I already introduced them to each other. However, there have never been any bad consequences to this. If people start telling you that you already introduced them to each other, it’s probably a sign that you’re doing this social bridge thing well enough. Just try not to do it a third time for the same pair of people. I would even say that you’re probably not doing it enough if no one tells you that you already introduced them.

Also, there is always going to be a few very shy or socially awkward people at some of the social venues you attend. For example, at one of the bars I go to regularly, there was a very shy young man named Jacob who was there almost as often as I was. However, while I was friendly with all of the other regulars, Jacob always sat by himself in the corner while either reading something or playing a game on his phone. He had earphones in at least half the time, and I hardly ever saw him talking to the other regulars. I later learned that he barely knew the other regulars and the other regulars barely knew him.

When most people see someone trying to keep to themselves at a bar or any other social venue, they assume that person wants to be left alone, or they assume that person is standoffish. In most cases, however, the people who blend into the background at social venues like that are just shy and would actually enjoy being pulled into some fun social experiences, even with strangers. They’re just too afraid of potentially experiencing social rejection, so they make themselves look busy as a self-defense mechanism. However, them coming out to that bar or social venue in the first place, and spending so much time there, is proof enough of their willingness to make new friends.

Be the guy who befriends these shy people when nobody else does. When I started to talk to Jacob, he was a bit socially awkward, so it took a while to get him to participate in a regular conversation where he would actually put away his phone. I greeted him every time I saw him when no one else seemed to be doing so, talked to him little by little each time, and eventually he seemed a lot less shy and awkward around me. I introduced him to other people and, surprisingly, there were a number of other regulars who said that they always saw him but never got the chance to talk to him.

Befriend the shy regulars and you’ll get the chance to be a social bridge even more. Now, whenever I see Jacob, he greets me enthusiastically and calls out my name loudly, even though he almost never speaks loudly, giving me even more social proof to everyone within earshot.

Being a social bridge is another form of giving value and making others feel good. The more you do it, the more you establish a mutually beneficial relationship with other people, and the more they will like you.

In short, I began with the assumption that the girls in the first group already knew the people in the second group, and showed my surprise when I learned that they didn't. I used that chance to introduce the people from those groups together and merged them into one bigger group.

When I could tell that everyone was having fun, I decided to start a group chat for all of us. I called it the party chat and it went on to be a great source of hedonistic pleasure for quite some time, if you know what I mean. And, as the person who started the group chat, and as the person who kept on recruiting more and more fun party people into it, everyone by default would sort of see me as the leader of this group.

One point I keep hammering into my clients is the importance of leadership. I talk about it a lot in my upcoming book, too. Leadership experience helps you develop that masculine confidence that women can't resist, and the perception of being a group leader makes it easier for women to trust you and pass your compliance tests. It's one of the most useful characteristics in seduction.

For one reason or another, I did not make the best impression to HBHotTwin that night at first, but I built up enough social proof that night to pull her into this makeshift social circle of mine. Every weekend, I or someone else from the group chat would ask where the party was that night, and I would see HBHotTwin regularly out at these outings. Over time, she slowly warmed up to me as I would flirt with her bit by bit.

For further context, this is all happening in South Korea, and HBHotTwin was not fluent in English. However, I am not fluent in Korean. My Korean proficiency is just intermediate; I can hold my own in basic conversations but it's not like I could ever pull off an advanced NLP pattern or even make good jokes in Korean. This experience and many like it honed my basic seduction skills. The outer game basics can all be communicated in very simple language, after all. Speak confidently. Leading frame. Emotional themes in convo. Know when to SOI or be direct. Sexual state. Kino. Compliance test. Forget all those fancy techniques and patterns. If you just focus on the basics, you can have abundance.

One night, she called me after meeting some random guy, saying that he was bothering her when she just wanted to go home. I guess she got to trust me enough to rely on me for a sense of safety. She told me where she was and we hung up so I could go out and get her. When I was approaching her location, I saw from a distance that she was talking to that random guy. It looked like he was trying to plead with her about something while she just looked annoyed. She then just walked off as he followed her, still begging and pleading about something. I thought that they already knew other, they were hanging out, he thought it was a date, but she thought otherwise. He was probably trying to beg her to sleep with him or something. It looked really pathetic. When I caught up with her and he gave up on his pursuit, she gave me a big hug in relief.

We sat down together on some empty stairs near her place where she lived together with her sister and talked about what happened. My guess was right, and she was feeling very annoyed and unsafe because of that guy, but I guess my presence made her feel more comfortable and safer. She definitely felt comfortable and safe enough to start making out with me on those stairs.

I was a little surprised about what was happening. By this time, I had been pursuing her for about a month. The whole time, I would show her some interest and build up all this attraction, comfort, trust, etc. but I could never close due to some other obstacles. For example, I was in a polyamorous relationship with someone else, but HBHotTwin's sister did not approve of her sister being involved with such a "player." This would eventually lead to the end of our sexual relationship. HBHotTwin was also the type of person who really cared about what her friends and family thought of her.

However, in this moment of vulnerability, when it seemed like I had "saved" her from this random dude, after I built up enough trust through leadership, after a month of flirting, here she is initiating our first makeout. As we were making out on those stairs, she was also the one who suggested that we go to a nearby motel together (she didn't want to have sex in the same apartment her sister lives in). I'm usually the one to make the first move so much that women barely ever get the chance to do it themselves, but I guess I built up enough sexual tension for her to cross that line after soft-rejecting all my advances for a month.

After that night, we dated for a while but, like I said, it didn't work out due to negative external influences. Apparently her sister went ham on her after she caught me and my other partner out on a date holding hands. HBHotTwin tried explaining that she was OK with my lifestyle, but eventually buckled to her sister. She was also generally a slut-shaming, sex-negative influence to her. When HBHotTwin kissed me while we were all out clubbing before, her sister scolded her about it and even made her cry. Sad. Still, the moments we had together while we were alone were beautiful and the sex was damn good.

I wish I had written this when more of the details were fresh in my mind, but I think the points about social circle game, the group chat, and leadership still make this worth sharing.

 

[rzzseducerfr]

I really love the social bridge. I implement this regularly in my locality when there are events, i link different groups together and am automatically seen as popular. Like some people say i have so many friends when i myself think i really have little lol. And then we all have lots of fun. Thanks for sharing!

 

[Swati]

hey chief!

Korea was fucking brutal. When I was there my hooks were weak cause of the language barrier, most have no sex or meeting you policy if you are visiting, or just foreigners in general. Gangnam clubs, "no foreigner allow"

Korean society is a stress-inducing environment, white lights, emotionless and stiff. The first time I got told I looked like I'm 30, I'm not btw, like what the fuck.... I feel like the people there are insecure too

Do you have some method of cracking the more conservative places, such as Korea, turkey, etc? Given that you have an appearance social frame with a little bit of the language, maybe you have some insights.

I've asked my wing who is an "expert" with Korean girls, BUT most of his lays are from overseas, go figures LOL. Another guy said they wouldn't fuck you if you aren't in a "relationship" already with them. I've fuck Korean girls, but they were all traveling, never the locals.

 

[Michael Chief]

hey chief!

Korea was fucking brutal. When I was there my hooks were weak cause of the language barrier, most have no sex or meeting you policy if you are visiting, or just foreigners in general. Gangnam clubs, "no foreigner allow"

Korean society is a stress-inducing environment, white lights, emotionless and stiff. The first time I got told I looked like I'm 30, I'm not btw, like what the fuck.... I feel like the people there are insecure too

Do you have some method of cracking the more conservative places, such as Korea, turkey, etc? Given that you have an appearance social frame with a little bit of the language, maybe you have some insights.

I've asked my wing who is an "expert" with Korean girls, BUT most of his lays are from overseas, go figures LOL. Another guy said they wouldn't fuck you if you aren't in a "relationship" already with them. I've fuck Korean girls, but they were all traveling, never the locals.

It's pretty ironic that some guys will say that it's easier in Korea and some will say that it's harder. The truth is, no matter where you're gaming, it's just a matter of using different strategies. It's not inherently easier or harder anywhere if you're flexible enough and have the fundamentals down. If you're too reliant on one niche or specialized strategy, that's what's making it harder in some contexts.

With that said, the differences in the Korean gaming/dating scene on average does make it a very different animal. Clubs in one district won't allow you entry based on age or race while venues in another district will be chock full of that demographic. Certain types of Korean women will be very difficult to communicate with not just because of the language barrier, but also the cultural barrier. A lot of these average trends that you aren't used to might be discouraging.

However, one thing that really stood out to me when reading Neil Strauss's The Game all the way back in the late 2000's was his saying, "The pickup artist is the exception to the rule."

Now, I'm certainly not a fan of MM and his school of "seduction," but that one stuck with me. It's like pickup artists are supposed to be opportunistic social hackers that always find the exception, or a doggy door into somewhere. With a mindset like that, you should be able to find sexual abundance in any given environment. You said that "most" have this or that sort of policy, but you need to either become the one exception to that policy, or find the women who aren't like "most."

Let me break down a few approaches you can take to find success in such places.

1. Finding the familiar - I've explored enough of Seoul's nightlife to find environments very similar to that of America, and can game just like I always did. It's not hard to find places in Itaewon and HBC like this, and recent gentrification has led to Koreans frequenting these areas more often as well. They'll often know English because they know they're hanging out in a foreigner-dense district. A lot of university areas also have places with similar vibes.

2. Being the exception to the rule - This is about what I mentioned earlier. I've found ways to be successful in environments I'm not "supposed" to be successful in just by paying attention and slipping through the cracks. I got my way into VIP sections in clubs I normally wouldn't be allowed in through meeting the right people, which anyone can do if they socialize enough and keep an opportunistic attitude. I got to meet plenty of Korean women who were willing to date and hook up with foreigners or English speakers by going around and meeting a ton of different types of women without allowing myself to fall for the limiting belief that Korean women have monolithic preferences. Etc.

3. Community building - In any country with any kind of culture, you can create your own little separate community where YOU set the frames, the tone, the culture, etc. Most people try to join other communities or go to different places to follow other people's rules and expectations, but what if you were the one who could set those rules and expectations? In my LR here, I ran that group chat and influenced our group's culture quite a bit. A lot of our interactions didn't follow Korean culture in many ways. In addition to that, I also helped run and organize a language exchange group that held parties every other weekend, and I'm currently the head of one of the major polyamory communities here. Community leadership is like making your own country. I highly recommend practicing leadership by taking on such responsibilities wherever you go.

4. Assimilating - This is what most people try to do. Sometimes it works well, but sometimes it's a constant uphill battle. If you learn the Korean language and follow Korean fashion, it'll definitely open up a lot of doors with Korean women. However, that process will also lead to you following Korean social and dating culture, which can be frustrating due to the lack of casual physical touch, committing to a LTR on the third date, and other bullshit like that. It's like trying to work within someone else's frame rather than establishing your own. You do need SOME assimilation to maximize your opportunities, but it's not good to go all in when it comes to more conservative cultures, of course.