- Joined
- May 15, 2014
- Messages
- 102
Once again, I have a new "Asian uni-class" group and while I 99% socialize outside uni. . . well. . .I can't help noticing that the girl-guy ratio is 3 to 1 with some pretty hot chicks thrown in (at least 4). Fundamentals-wise the two other guys around are close to 0, basically. . .
I would like to try something but i'm not sure what should I be doing. . .
Here's the catch:
- The group is mostly Asians in their early 20s, mostly banded together according to nationality. I'm the only white guy and a decade older at that. I know I look good, thou. I just don't hang out with them nor I'm too interested in hanging out with them regularly (it's just not interesting) but I know I probably will once or twice.
- The vibe of the group is warm but unlike previous cases there's no girls stepping on each other to get to talk to me. This might be a good thing as in previous cases the initial frenzy turned into deep auto-rejection after a month or two, with girls banding with jealous guys to cockblock me, spread rumors, etc. . . Last time it was laid back like this and I eventually managed to build some rapport, but I got busy/distracted/whatever and was totally dropped after a couple weeks of not investing - in favour of guys who worked hard and engaged them at a higher energy level.
- Another thing about the vibe is that it's very coy. Even the other guys are shy to talk to the girls. I once had a group where the core was western European guys/girls; guys wanting to be friends with me, girls talking about sex and signalling their interest in obvious ways, me getting invited for drinks - I don't see this happening here.
- A pretty cute girl kept staring at me the first two days, then added me to messenger within minutes of my contact information becoming public. She never said anything, thou. . .
- There's competition outside the group (as expected), plenty of it. Lot's of African, ex-USSR and middle eastern guys in little one-country gangs, strutting around like it's coming to blows any second. I have a friend with benefits on the campus, 3/10 on the looks scale, she would still tell me about these guys cold approaching her each other day. She would find them creepy. . . so I'm not sure about the quality of the competition, but there's quantity.
Again, and to sum up, I'm not sure what is it that I should be doing. In all social circle groups I have the problem that I don't know if, when and how should I be asking a girl out 1-to-1.
Some groups were cool with that kind of thing going on (European) - in some others, (Asian) the next thing I knew is that I had a SWAT team of white knights on us - even if it had been her that invited me - that "I'm a foreigner", that "how old I am and how old is she", etc. . .
In general, I'm too afraid to get burnt to take action, even in the "partying" social circles I handle outside - but, obviously, there must be a way to put things forward within "plausible deniability" (for both parties). I got laid, but in cases where the girl made the move - so I'm still at square one.
____
Also, where the investment level should be? Last semester there were these guys glaring at whenever I got (female) attention. This went on for 3 out of 4 months the group lasted, towards the end of the third one I finally got ejected - after a month of hard work on their part to lead the group (pivoting on existing group leaders to organize stuff and exclude me, forming alliances, etc. . .). All this was framed as we are all such good friends!, lets go to an amusement park!, let's go eat this/that food! let's all take a picture together! . . . The girls were really warmed up to them but I really don't know if it got them laid or not.
Should I'd be doing this or not? I don't think I should. I'm an older guy; I have other things going on.
I would like to try something but i'm not sure what should I be doing. . .
Here's the catch:
- The group is mostly Asians in their early 20s, mostly banded together according to nationality. I'm the only white guy and a decade older at that. I know I look good, thou. I just don't hang out with them nor I'm too interested in hanging out with them regularly (it's just not interesting) but I know I probably will once or twice.
- The vibe of the group is warm but unlike previous cases there's no girls stepping on each other to get to talk to me. This might be a good thing as in previous cases the initial frenzy turned into deep auto-rejection after a month or two, with girls banding with jealous guys to cockblock me, spread rumors, etc. . . Last time it was laid back like this and I eventually managed to build some rapport, but I got busy/distracted/whatever and was totally dropped after a couple weeks of not investing - in favour of guys who worked hard and engaged them at a higher energy level.
- Another thing about the vibe is that it's very coy. Even the other guys are shy to talk to the girls. I once had a group where the core was western European guys/girls; guys wanting to be friends with me, girls talking about sex and signalling their interest in obvious ways, me getting invited for drinks - I don't see this happening here.
- A pretty cute girl kept staring at me the first two days, then added me to messenger within minutes of my contact information becoming public. She never said anything, thou. . .
- There's competition outside the group (as expected), plenty of it. Lot's of African, ex-USSR and middle eastern guys in little one-country gangs, strutting around like it's coming to blows any second. I have a friend with benefits on the campus, 3/10 on the looks scale, she would still tell me about these guys cold approaching her each other day. She would find them creepy. . . so I'm not sure about the quality of the competition, but there's quantity.
Again, and to sum up, I'm not sure what is it that I should be doing. In all social circle groups I have the problem that I don't know if, when and how should I be asking a girl out 1-to-1.
Some groups were cool with that kind of thing going on (European) - in some others, (Asian) the next thing I knew is that I had a SWAT team of white knights on us - even if it had been her that invited me - that "I'm a foreigner", that "how old I am and how old is she", etc. . .
In general, I'm too afraid to get burnt to take action, even in the "partying" social circles I handle outside - but, obviously, there must be a way to put things forward within "plausible deniability" (for both parties). I got laid, but in cases where the girl made the move - so I'm still at square one.
____
Also, where the investment level should be? Last semester there were these guys glaring at whenever I got (female) attention. This went on for 3 out of 4 months the group lasted, towards the end of the third one I finally got ejected - after a month of hard work on their part to lead the group (pivoting on existing group leaders to organize stuff and exclude me, forming alliances, etc. . .). All this was framed as we are all such good friends!, lets go to an amusement park!, let's go eat this/that food! let's all take a picture together! . . . The girls were really warmed up to them but I really don't know if it got them laid or not.
Should I'd be doing this or not? I don't think I should. I'm an older guy; I have other things going on.
