Socializing Social hierarchy confusion

[Coconut]

I have read posts on girlschase that says that to be cool one must not consider hierarchy when interacting with people. (Good mindset to have to not feel inferior or superior to someone).

However most groups do have a leader whose plans most people give importance to than other members of the group.

So how does one become the leader of a social group?
Does it mostly rely on things other than personality (given the fact that you have charisma of course) as in
organising group hangouts, giving advice to people, helping them out? Because incase of giving advice you can't really give advice or help people unless you are better than them.

 

[trashKENNUT]

So how does one become the leader of a social group?
Does it mostly rely on things other than personality (given the fact that you have charisma of course) as in
organising group hangouts, giving advice to people, helping them out? Because incase of giving advice you can't really give advice or help people unless you are better than them.

More nuance than it is but it has patterns.

Level of Hierarchy (in descending order)

1)Success (Money)
2)Success in a niche (Money)
3)Beauty (Male)
4)Dominance
5)Beauty (Female)
6)Expertise

Warning:
This post will be different from other members post. So it is important to be more cautious. Because how I see things and what works for me, might not work for you.

Continue,

That is the level of Hierarchy, according to my eyes. It's off the top of my head. I have literally seen it with my own eyes. I experience it. I have observe this for years.

Success, usually material wealth, matters a lot. But dominance/beauty throws a tornado.

z@c+

 

[Rakehell]

I have read posts on girlschase that says that to be cool one must not consider hierarchy when interacting with people. (Good mindset to have to not feel inferior or superior to someone).

However most groups do have a leader whose plans most people give importance to than other members of the group.

So how does one become the leader of a social group?
Does it mostly rely on things other than personality (given the fact that you have charisma of course) as in
organising group hangouts, giving advice to people, helping them out? Because incase of giving advice you can't really give advice or help people unless you are better than them.

Being the leader has alot to do with who brings the most for the group passively, in a way that everyone will accept.

Maybe it’s a group of guy’s who want to get laid and one of them has a knack for it so they all subconsciously band around him.

Maybe it’s a group who want’s to have fun and their leader is somehow always bringing a good time.

The indoctrinated “leader” almost always happens early on in a group’s formation and it won’t really shift much (unless the guy leaves). In these cases the leader’s words hold more weight because everyone views him in a high esteem.

Another way group’s get leaders is because they start them. This is the best and easiest way. You don’t have to play the social ladder because you’re the one actively bringing everyone together and at some level they recognize that.

You’ll have to be selective about bringing guy’s in who might try to usurp or 1 up you although. These are the guy’s who are cool but they’re still status hungry, every cool guy isn’t like this though.

When you start group’s you’re the leader by default, where as when you join group’s you move up (really slowly at that). And when you do get to a pretty high status..you’ll have to replace 1 or 2 or 3 guy’s to be that leader. It’s possible but it’s a lot of work and not worth it most times.

 

[ulrich]

The social hierarchy exists but unless you are in an inherently hierarchical group (military, corporate, job, etc…) that hierarchy is somewhat flexible.

The “leader” of a group might be the leader most of the time but the group also opens up to other leaders momentarily when the moment calls out for them.

Example: In my group of my friends, there is a guy who usually calls the shots for when and where we gather, another guy usually calls the shots for travel destinations, I call the shots for logistics and problem solving.

Trying to outcast a group leader because you want the status is socially of-putting… stepping up with confidence and leading when you have the situational competence is attractive and over time it will grant you status.

 

[Troy]

My first question when I read your post is "How valuable are you to people right now?"

Read these articles:

How to Get Anything from Anyone: The Law of Social Exchange

You can get anyone to give you whatever you want. But to do it, you must obey the Law of Social Exchange (and all its small wrinkles). Contents 1. What Do You Bring to the Table? Tag Alongs “It’s So Unfair!” 2. The Law of Social Exchange Unstable Social Exchanges Wrinkles to Exchange Value 3...

www.girlschase.com

On Entitlement: What Do You REALLY Bring to the Table?

We talk about value quite a bit on this site: being a high value man, dating a high value woman (or two) and adding value to situations where you want to make friends or contacts. But does value really matter that much? The short answer is: yes. It matters a lot. Because while a lot of people...

www.girlschase.com

I don't think it's possible to be the leader of anything without knowing:

A. What the group values (It will be different based on who you meet. For example, Skateboard guys may value a guy who is also good with skates as a friend. Or library nerds may value a guy as a leader and friend if he also shares a similar interest in reading books 8 hours per day).

B. You have to know yourself. Jot down the qualities you are strong in and weak in

Here is one instance I can share that I was a leader in. I built my business products and services from scratch. And while I was struggling to make ends meet, I got really good at what I did. That allowed me in my early 20's to partner with 6 and 7 figure entrepreneurs. And for the duration of those partnerships, I was the leader because of the value I brought.

So my advice to you is to figure out who you are and what value you bring, before attempting to be a leader of anything or anyone. I hope this helps.

Troy

 

[trashKENNUT]

The social hierarchy exists but unless you are in an inherently hierarchical group (military, corporate, job, etc…) that hierarchy is somewhat flexible

What uriel says, is correct.

Then he goes to the process level, which you must read.

z@c+

...

I'm begging any GC members to join me.

I'm on a personal journey. To think in compartmentalize and uncompartmentalize and moving in and out of realities

"What is a women?"
Why can't she answer that?
She's a LEFT WING IDIOT, Man say.

Nah Nah, man is trying to out women in a position, then reframe her position.

Just like the media that he curses

Fucking hell