Social Problems

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,821
Alright guys, I need some help with this one. In reviewing my psychology notes and social psychology notes, I noticed that I have a social anxiety disorder (sort of):
*communication apprehension (internally experienced feeling of discomfort) with subcategory problems of:
*physiology - Sweating, blushing, drying of throat,
and
*cognition - Feeling like I'm being judged negatively by that person
*Behavior - Sometimes I stumble over my words because of my self-consciousness of problem

I've talked to the higher ups on this website about it, and am still currently working on this problem which has impaired further progress with women, anyway, I decided to post this because I want a variety of opinions on what I should do, if you would be so kind as to leave an explanation with your replies, instead of just your replies please.
-thank you,
Richard

*
 

AsianPersuasion

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
234
I used to stutter and shake like crazy when I talked to anybody! I could hardly talk to anyone let alone a pretty girl... With exposure, you become a stronger version of yourself. The more exposed you become, the less your body views this kind of communication as a threat, and all the problems start to fade out.
 

Nuncle

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 5, 2013
Messages
174
Whenever in an interaction concentrate on overcoming these hindrances little by little.

If you focus on that goal rather than the interaction then the interaction itself, ironically, becomes less daunting.

For example if we are talking about pick-up and you are deliberately making lots of approaches with the aim of understanding women that makes each approach far less terrifying than if you treated each one as an individual attempt to pull that particular lady. The same applies to other areas of life (hope I am making sense).

So instead of coming away from interaction thinking "shit! I can't believe my hands started shaking again!" you will come away thinking "excellent, my hands started shaking a lot later than they used to!"

Also, take ten minutes every day to sit in a dark room and think through the issue, analysing it in great detail wherever your thoughts take you.

Best of luck.
 

Lexielai

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 12, 2013
Messages
17
Great advice here all around! I'm currently struggling with this right now, it's great to know there are folks who've been there and done that.

Thanks for the posts, they're just what I needed! I'll be employing them ASAP.
 

The Byronic Man

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
209
Location
Southern California
You already know I'm the rare guy with Asperger's Syndrome that developed above average social skills. My psychologist says I have social anxiety, and I'll be seeing her again next week. I'll ask her how to handle it.

The last time I had social anxiety, I was invited to happy hour. I only knew one person, and when I walked into the venue, I got so anxious that I walked out and started driving home. While on the road, I told myself that I can't be doing this because it's unhealthy, so I turned around and and forced myself to socialize. Everything turned out fine. My only faux pas was my slightly awkward exit. I don't think it mattered since I was invited back twice.

I have to wonder if I even need a psychologist. Maybe it's really as simple as just forcing yourself into social situations, and with enough positive experiences, maybe the anxiety will slowly disappear. It's like a question of whether it's nature or nurture. There's an article on social anxiety...haven't gotten around to read it yet, but it's here:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/anxie ... ow-stop-it

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EDIT: I'll explain WHY I have social anxiety. My childhood traumatized me. I had such a long string of bad social experiences, so it's easy for me to constantly worry I'll do or say something awkward. I can get these thoughts at the beginning of a social event, but once I get in the groove, it goes away. So maybe for me, it's just a matter of getting in there. I have the tech/process now (thanks to the GC articles here) for me to get over the anxious beginning so I can get into the groove and be natural.
 
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