Sometimes should ya chase a little?

[Fluxcapacitor]

Sup dudes! Ya know that attraction has an expiration date, so to capitalise on that attraction would ya occasionally have to chase? A remember reading somewhere on here that sometimes ya have to chase a little to be chased a lot, but where does this line get drawn? What amount of chasing is fine?

A little persistence can go a long way, not that a have had much success with this an sometimes reengaging in a few weeks can turn things around but my issue is with waiting a few weeks what if ya lose the initial attraction? A find if a can’t set anything up within a week it’s a lost cause and I’m better of nexting them. A have never bothered reengaging before cause a feel it says that ya haven’t met anyone else or ya have no other options to go back so a usually just keep cold on them unless they come back.

Surprisingly most of them come back but am not that receptive to all of them depending what else a have got going on. Am sure this keeps me in a strong position an lets them know that they messed up but a don’t get any benefit from this. All a get is girls coming back weeks or months later to not change their behaviour. A don’t see why ya would beg for another chance to be unreceptive or play the same games again? They should know from the first time a won’t chase or play games an were obviously attracted enough to come back…

What am asking is should ya chase a little at the beginning to turn things around? Reengage after keeping cold for a while? Or just next these girls as a write of? Thanks dudes!!

 

[radeng]

I think some chasing is fine in the right contexts and if it specifically achieves a goal. I agree with you that most of the time if I can’t get a girl out within a week, I generally just next, unless they are especially hot or interesting where I will ping and follow up for 2-3 weeks max.

Your specific situation of girls being flakey/playing games/keeping you on the line without committing to moving things forward sounds like problem with your process and game if this is happening often! It may be helpful to hear a bit more examples and your general process for meeting these chicks.

Personally, I meet girls and get their numbers in the same way every time, by asking for “drinks next week” right then and there and handing them my phone. This already sets the stage for us only texting to set up logistics. Then I send just about the same text sequences to every girl and the same follow ups if they decline/have excuses/ etc...

So maybe need to examine some things that are leading you to these problems!

Cheers,
Radeng

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Radeng dude! Thanks for ya reply! A like ya take on it that chasing is fine if it achieves a goal, a guess it's just a balancing act for the situation.

This situation is the same girl an same situation. A thought this question was maybe misleading an approached the topic from another perspective.

There's definitely a problem with my process or game which a think is attainability or lack of comfort. (This sounds very arrogant but it's the only thing a can make out the pieces) There's a lot of examples. My usual process is similar to yours in proposing the date and getting their number there an then an use the same sequence unless excuses come in then I'll either just accept it or try some follow ups if they qualify.

Any advice is greatly appreciated dude!

Examples: a girl had a boyfriend when a met her, put on the brakes. Went on to dump him and tell me how great I was, how she thought her ex was the one until she met me an how she's never felt like this before. Before our date she then cancelled an said she couldn't do it, she was mentally in a bad place an couldn't do that to me. She has came back a few times since.

A girl that went on to be my girlfriend beforehand told me that a was perfect an she felt very nervous around me. That she was jealous of every girl a talked to cause she was worried I'd like them better.

Another girl cancelled our first date, a accepted it an didn't persist. She came back 3 times an apologised for not messaging me back an begged for another chance. Saying that she freaked cause she liked me so much an hasn't felt like that for anyone.

A few other times girls have cancelled first or second dates saying they can't do it. They can't do that to me or that a deserve better. Then come back days, weeks, months later asking for another chance an all saying they freaked they liked me so much, they were scared or nervous.

A never believed any of it an just thought it was there way of pleasing my ego but it happens a lot an for the girls to make the move an come back am starting to think a might have an attainability issue. A have tried to lower my status an seem more attainable but a haven't had much luck!!