Speed date report

[Marty]

Okay so I texted her and she not only texted back, but then immediately called me. Apparently the agency made a mistake and interpreted her "yes" as a "no" (you had one job, fellas).

We have a date next weekend.

Sounds like he's just trying out a new avenue of meeting women as he gets back in the game again and is shaking off a bit of rust in the process and needs a few ideas.

Rob hit the nail on the head here.

I think I can speak in the name of the forum here that we still don't get your affection to speed dating. I mean, do you want to get good with girls, or speed dating? You may want to help us out with some pointers.

Space I'm not sure whether you will get this, because it would never have occurred to me when I was your age either. But I am a fairly introverted person, I'm at work 8 hours a day, where romantic and sexual drama is best avoided; it takes me a lot of energy to get to know people; I'm not a member of any clubs or societies at the moment; and I don't have a social life. I like to go the gym in the evenings and then just chill to restore my energy levels.

That leaves the weekend for everything else, and I live in a country where I don't speak the language well; I'm working on it, but it's not easy when you start after 40. I find it rude and odd to approach people in English: that gives more the tourist-in-distress vibe than the smooth expatriate. So if I do hit on girls I do it in the local language, but that leaves me struggling for any deep conversation.

So for all those reasons, speed dating gives me the advantage of an atmosphere where I know everyone is single, everyone is there for the same reason, and no one will mind if I politely ask whether we can speak English.

 

[Marty]

Are you making eye contact?

Are you grasping her hand across the table?

I am, now that you mention it. Or at least using kino on those I like.

Not sure whether I was before, but things are definitely improving thanks to your and Rob's advice.

By the way, a funny one: one woman there (a ghastly one) called me "bossy and domineering" at the end of the four-minute interaction. Anyone who has met me e.g. Rob knows that I am quite the opposite. I think she was projecting her own manner onto me.

 

[Space]

Mr.Rob,

My quick answer is: honesty does not equal direct. They are distinct categories. I don't have time to write about this now (OFF, but click here!), but in reality I'm far more indirect than you would imagine.

Marty,

How about this for a long answer? I may answer to this thread properly some day. I'm sorry, I cannot promise you more than that. OFF, but click here!

But hey! At least I've addressed you with something I think is useful in the other topic.

 

[Marty]

Wtf does “OFF” mean?