Spending too much time together

[KollegahDerBoss]

Hey,
me and my new girlfriend are spending too much time together talking.

Literally, every day we talk about 2-3 hours and it's getting too much.
She is getting bored, I am getting bored - but she wants me to continue talking with her and stick with this routine.
I also feel we have nothing to talk about, since she never brings up any interesting topics, neither do I.

How should I tell her that? Will that break the relationship?

 

[Whizzy]

Just tell her that you are busy and will not be able to talk as much for a bit, I wouldn't straight up say that she is boring to talk to

 

[KollegahDerBoss]

I would do that, but Chase says on one of his posts that especially in the first weeks, you should not take away the things that you gave her at the start, but keep giving her more afterwards.
So if I would take away that what she wants, I would simply be bitter and she will start feeling like the relationship is not progressing...

What should I then do?

 

[Ross]

I would do that, but Chase says on one of his posts that especially in the first weeks, you should not take away the things that you gave her at the start, but keep giving her more afterwards.
So if I would take away that what she wants, I would simply be bitter and she will start feeling like the relationship is not progressing...

What should I then do?

Stick your dick in her mouth when she starts. I hear that stops women from talking .

Other than that, just remember to never commit to doing something if you know you don't want to do it in the future. Here you can still change things, you'll just encounter more resistance when you introduce that change. Rather than explain it to her (women don't take to logic too well) simply be unavailable/unreachable for periods of time, then clarify later that you were busy.

 

[Franco]

Ross has a good answer here.

The problem lies in the fact that you set the precedent that you WOULD talk to her every day for 2-3 hours. So since you agreed to it, she's holding you to it. And now that you want to pull back on it, she's calling you out on it (and seeing it as the relationship regressing).

If she starts hounding you about this when you become unavailable, however, you may have to have a direct conversation with her. This would be something along the lines of, "look babe, we've been trying this talking thing for weeks now and nothing great comes of it. I lose time to finish important things that I need to get done, and you get upset because you're bored with the fact that I have nothing to say during that period. If I were able to do other things and get things done that need to get done, then I would certainly have more to talk about during those small periods of time that we do spend together. So for now, I am going to stop doing this nonsense and just get my things done. We'll make sure we talk together at least X (whatever you decide) times a week though."

And then hold that position firmly, even if she argues it. You never want to have to have these types of conversations since you can avoid them (by setting the correct precedent from the start), so I would take mental note of this before agreeing to other silly terms that you know will bite you in the ass down the road. =)

- Franco

 

[KollegahDerBoss]

Franco, your answers are amazing.

We are still in the fatuation stage, since the relationship hasn't even been going on for two weeks.

However, I can see that the relationship is going downhill. She probably grew bored of talking with me everyday, since she no longer always texts me like she usually does - or is happy to see me.
I think stopping to talk with her is just going to make things worse, but I will try it anyway - should I start today?

 

[Franco]

However, I can see that the relationship is going downhill. She probably grew bored of talking with me everyday, since she no longer always texts me like she usually does - or is happy to see me.
I think stopping to talk with her is just going to make things worse, but I will try it anyway - should I start today?

Yeah, I would talk to her as soon as possible. Things will only get worse the longer you wait. If she's already seeming unhappy, you might have already waited too long.

- Franco