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- Feb 5, 2017
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Hey Everyone,
I was lucky enough to be able to spend my spring break abroad. The last 4 days were intense, and I was focused on making sure that I did a lot of approaching to improve myself with girls. While I'm still a virgin, and was not able to get beyond touching, I still had a lot of fun, and gained mountains of experience.
In short, my approach anxiety is much, much less now, and I was able to be much more physical with the girls I had interactions with. In addition, I focused on trying to get investment from girls and building compliance.
I talked to a lot of girls, and was rejected point blank by most of them. I'm chalking this up to poor fundamentals, or incongruent opening where I look good, but the way I'm opening is revealing a lack of confidence or uncomfortableness. Due to this, I'm only going to write about the interactions which went well.
FYI I was pretty sober for most of these, since I didn't want my self improvement to be alcohol related.
Day 1:
Girl 1
I woke up early to go take a swim at our hotel, but I woke up before the pool opened. I saw a girl sitting in a chair, tanning, so I sat next to her and started talking. I did some deep diving, mainly focusing on having good conversation. We talked for a decent amount of time, but it wasn't particularly spectacular. I think my deep diving skills are improving though. She was wearing a bikini, so it was also a harder approach just because of that.
Girl 2
So I walked into an outdoor bar, and saw a girl standing outside the bathroom on her phone. I just opened her by asking why she would be looking so bored out here. She said she was waiting for friends, so I asked her if she wanted someone to talk to her while she waited, and she said yes. We ended up talking for a while, with me doing some deep diving. I got compliance by telling her to move somewhere else, while locking myself into a leaning position. I was relatively touchy with her. Once her friend came out, I told them to come with me while I grabbed beers. While I was getting beers, I started talking to another girl, and then my girl went away. I figured she may have started auto-rejecting a little, but I was trying to make her jealous. Once I got beers, I started walking around, and eventually saw her talking to some other guy. I noticed that this guy was a little weird, so I decided to play white knight and get her out of there, which she appreciated. At this point, her friend had found her own guy, so I think she was also rooting for us two. All four of us went and sat at a table. I sat next to my girl, and put my legs between her legs, in a way that we were touching the entire time. From there we just kept talking. I told her to give me her hand at some point, and she did, at which point she gave a quick smile to her friend. At many points throughout our interaction, our faces got very close, and I think that I should have gone for the kiss, but I didn't. Eventually, I tried to get her to move again, and she said they needed to find her friends. I think the escalation window closed. I grabbed her number and said I'd meet her later in the night. She never texted me back, and I later found out she gave me a fake number. I did end up seeing her later that night, and she barely remembered anything of what we talked about. In addition, all our chemistry was gone. I saw her a few times later during the week, and there was no longer any spark. However, it was my best interaction of the trip.
Girl 3
I was at my hotel, going to the front desk with my friends. I saw a girl sitting on a couch, she smiled at me, so I smiled back (thank god I finally smiled back-I have trouble smiling at girls, which I think might be a problem). I went and asked her if she wanted some company until her friends showed up. She said sure. I told her to lean back since it was more comfortable, and eventually she did. We talked for a little bit, and she complained about how she couldn't get into the hotel because she wasn't a guest (terrible logistical situation for me). We tried sneaking in, and she pretended to be some girl who wanted to hook up with me by leaning into me and acting like so. We were caught and went back to sit down. She sat much farther away this time. She called her friend, and started talking to her, and then began crying. I was just sitting there completely caught off guard and didn't know how to do anything with the situation. I tried smiling and telling her she looked like she needed a hug. She said no because it would make her crying worse. She then called her friend again and was crying and talking up until the friend showed up. She left without saying bye to me. I was very much confused by the situation. While I recognize she was probably trying to use me to get into the hotel, I feel like the interaction was interesting because it was more physical than most of my interactions.
Girl 4
So I met this girl while standing in line to get into a club. I opened her by making some situational comment about the line. I think I may have complimented her, but I can't remember. I tried getting her to talk and open up, but I think she might also have been closed up because we were heading into the club. Her friend acted slightly confrontational with me, so I tried getting the friends to become more warm towards me, but it did not end up working well. Still, I made the approach, and talked for a long period of time.
The rest of day 1 was spent at the club. I tried to get a lot of girls to dance with me with no success. I tried getting girls to talk with me, or just physically telling them to join me. I think I may have been too indirect at the club, and as a result it seemed like I was unconfident (which I definitely also was). I need to start going after what I want without any reservations, and if I can do that, then I think my club game will start improving.
Day 2:
Girl 5
I saw her lounging on the pool during the morning while waiting for friends to join me for breakfast. This was the first time I ever asked a girl if she was single, so that was a positive point. However, she said she had a boyfriend, so it was moot for me. I decided that I wanted to keep talking to her though, so I did. She was very disengaged throughout, but I kept trying to deep dive, and she opened up relatively well. I decided that I needed to make her laugh. Eventually she said something about how she wouldn't leave drunk friends alone. I replied that leaving drunk friends was not fun, though it could be under the right circumstances. She asked me whether I thought letting my friends die from alcohol poisoning was fun, and I said "no of course not, do I look like a monster?" She then said how I just said it could be fun, and I replied by saying that if I were a sadist, then yes it could be fun, but that I was empathetic and warm. She burst out laughing and was saying oh my god a couple of times. I don't know if what I said was too weird, but I thought it was funny, and I knew she had a boyfriend, so I thought I'd try to make myself laugh. I found out she had a couple of friends with her and told her they should join my group for a pregame, but I totally messed up trading contact details so that did not work out.
Girl 7
I mainly opened this woman because I was stuck at my hotel since I lost my ID and had to find that, and then I had to wait for two hours while the girls in our group got ready with make up. Anyways, I figured I should talk to someone, even if they were much older. Oddly enough, this older lady (who was actually the orthopedic person for a national sports team) seemed interested in me, which I found kind of funny. However, I was not comfortable with the age gap, and eventually left.
Girl 8
I was on a booze cruise and I immediately introduced myself to the only single-looking girl. I tried deep diving her and got her to talk to me for a little. I was more touchy than normal, which was good, but I need to do more for sure. We talked some, and then she went to join her friends. Throughout the cruise, I saw that she looked bored and not having fun, so I told her to come get drinks with us, which she did, but then I left and she'd go back to her group. Looking back, I should have just kept talking to her and told her to come sit with me, and then eventually later try to get her to dance with me. Eventually my bisexual female friend got her dancing, and I felt worse because I should have been the one doing that. Anyways live and learn.
Later that night, since my friends decided to be boring, and since they're all in relationships and had their significant others with them, I had to go out clubbing by myself.
Girl 9-Mean Boyfriend
I met this girl at a bar. I saw her alone at a table, looking out a window, so I asked her why she looked so forlorn. She replied in Spanish, and I found out she was talking in Spanish for fun, so I started speaking Spanish with her too. We eventually switched back to english, and I started deep diving her. She told me she was waiting for her boyfriend, but I wanted to keep talking. Eventually her boyfriend comes out, and he's jealous or insecure, but he's super buff. He puts his hand on my shoulder very threateningly, and then asks some question basically asking what I think I'm doing. I try to act unintimidated, and ask his name, trying to confuse him. He basically asks why I came to talk to his girlfriend, and I say I saw her sitting here and just had to come talk to her, after all who could have resisted? He puts his beer down and tells me that I'm sitting in his seat. Now I don't want to get into a fight, but I also hate it when someone acts like an asshole in order to solve a problem. But I didn't want to get beat up, so I took the hint and walked out of there. Looking back, I should have taken the path of least resistance and sat on the other side of the girlfriend, which would have allowed me to keep my frame and made him look weak. Also I've never been in a fight, so that would have been an interesting experience.
The rest of the night was me going to bars in noisy clubs and trying to talk to girls. I also tried to get girls to dance with me without saying a word, using just my hands and my facial expression.
Girl 10-I saw one girl looking lonely, so I walked by her and motioned her to come with me, she said no, but I tried persisting by giving her a skeptical look. She said something about losing her friends, so I tried to get her to come again. She looked at me, and seemed on the verge of coming, but then her friends showed up, and she went with them instead.
Aside from that, I mainly just got rejected by most girls, though I tried to follow the advice given to me in the last report. I move through various floors and tried to keep my rejections as discreet as possible.
Day 3 (Last day)
Girl 11
I saw this at this place where I was eating tacos. I caught her eye a few times. Later, she found our hat next to our table, and returned it to our group, but directed the talking at me. She was with her friends, and I saw her friends looking at me. I need to start using my peripherals a lot more, because I'm giving up a lot of the intrigue early by looking at the girl a lot, and I think they're noticing me, plus I'm not taking action fast enough. A little later, I saw her get up to go the restroom, so I figure that my chance to talk to her is when she walks back. I time my bathroom pretty well, and stop her. I thank her for finding our hat for us, and make a joke about us being super klutzy. She is very friendly towards me. I stop her, and then say that I had to tell her she was absolutely gorgeous. The reason I'm including this girl in my FR is because I think the way I said the gorgeous line was actually really good, with solid pauses and a decent amount of confidence. In addition, her response was also really good, she smiled very brightly and said thank you very enthusiastically. She told me she was going to the beach club after and that she would probably see me there. When I went to the club, I saw her and didn't approach, and she obviously did not approach me. I know I should have approached her at the club, but I guess I just didn't. I'm not sure what I should have done in this situation, specifically at the restaurant in order to have had a more positive interaction.
The rest of the day I tried to focus on my friends because it was our last day. However, I made a couple more approaches, but none really panned out. There was a group of girls dancing that my female friend told me to dance with. I tried dancing but I also tried introducing myself, which my female friend told me was the wrong thing to do. Unfortunately, I'm really not sure what to do in clubs in terms have having a solid opening percentage, and getting compliance at clubs. That could also just be the environment. But it was really solid for numbing me to approaching, and for that I'm thankful.
Those were the most important interactions in my trip. I think in total I must have done upwards of 50 approaches, which while a lower amount than I would have hoped, is still far more than ever done in my life. I improved the amount of touch I used, as well as the amount of compliance I asked of girls, and challenge in asking them to guess stuff about me (like if they asked me a question, I would ask them to guess what they thought the answer was).
At the same time, I need to work on my fundamentals and presentation, so that my opening percentage gets a lot higher. I also need to work on making physicality and compliance-building a more consistent habit.
Any feedback on these interactions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Kvothe
I was lucky enough to be able to spend my spring break abroad. The last 4 days were intense, and I was focused on making sure that I did a lot of approaching to improve myself with girls. While I'm still a virgin, and was not able to get beyond touching, I still had a lot of fun, and gained mountains of experience.
In short, my approach anxiety is much, much less now, and I was able to be much more physical with the girls I had interactions with. In addition, I focused on trying to get investment from girls and building compliance.
I talked to a lot of girls, and was rejected point blank by most of them. I'm chalking this up to poor fundamentals, or incongruent opening where I look good, but the way I'm opening is revealing a lack of confidence or uncomfortableness. Due to this, I'm only going to write about the interactions which went well.
FYI I was pretty sober for most of these, since I didn't want my self improvement to be alcohol related.
Day 1:
Girl 1
I woke up early to go take a swim at our hotel, but I woke up before the pool opened. I saw a girl sitting in a chair, tanning, so I sat next to her and started talking. I did some deep diving, mainly focusing on having good conversation. We talked for a decent amount of time, but it wasn't particularly spectacular. I think my deep diving skills are improving though. She was wearing a bikini, so it was also a harder approach just because of that.
Girl 2
So I walked into an outdoor bar, and saw a girl standing outside the bathroom on her phone. I just opened her by asking why she would be looking so bored out here. She said she was waiting for friends, so I asked her if she wanted someone to talk to her while she waited, and she said yes. We ended up talking for a while, with me doing some deep diving. I got compliance by telling her to move somewhere else, while locking myself into a leaning position. I was relatively touchy with her. Once her friend came out, I told them to come with me while I grabbed beers. While I was getting beers, I started talking to another girl, and then my girl went away. I figured she may have started auto-rejecting a little, but I was trying to make her jealous. Once I got beers, I started walking around, and eventually saw her talking to some other guy. I noticed that this guy was a little weird, so I decided to play white knight and get her out of there, which she appreciated. At this point, her friend had found her own guy, so I think she was also rooting for us two. All four of us went and sat at a table. I sat next to my girl, and put my legs between her legs, in a way that we were touching the entire time. From there we just kept talking. I told her to give me her hand at some point, and she did, at which point she gave a quick smile to her friend. At many points throughout our interaction, our faces got very close, and I think that I should have gone for the kiss, but I didn't. Eventually, I tried to get her to move again, and she said they needed to find her friends. I think the escalation window closed. I grabbed her number and said I'd meet her later in the night. She never texted me back, and I later found out she gave me a fake number. I did end up seeing her later that night, and she barely remembered anything of what we talked about. In addition, all our chemistry was gone. I saw her a few times later during the week, and there was no longer any spark. However, it was my best interaction of the trip.
Girl 3
I was at my hotel, going to the front desk with my friends. I saw a girl sitting on a couch, she smiled at me, so I smiled back (thank god I finally smiled back-I have trouble smiling at girls, which I think might be a problem). I went and asked her if she wanted some company until her friends showed up. She said sure. I told her to lean back since it was more comfortable, and eventually she did. We talked for a little bit, and she complained about how she couldn't get into the hotel because she wasn't a guest (terrible logistical situation for me). We tried sneaking in, and she pretended to be some girl who wanted to hook up with me by leaning into me and acting like so. We were caught and went back to sit down. She sat much farther away this time. She called her friend, and started talking to her, and then began crying. I was just sitting there completely caught off guard and didn't know how to do anything with the situation. I tried smiling and telling her she looked like she needed a hug. She said no because it would make her crying worse. She then called her friend again and was crying and talking up until the friend showed up. She left without saying bye to me. I was very much confused by the situation. While I recognize she was probably trying to use me to get into the hotel, I feel like the interaction was interesting because it was more physical than most of my interactions.
Girl 4
So I met this girl while standing in line to get into a club. I opened her by making some situational comment about the line. I think I may have complimented her, but I can't remember. I tried getting her to talk and open up, but I think she might also have been closed up because we were heading into the club. Her friend acted slightly confrontational with me, so I tried getting the friends to become more warm towards me, but it did not end up working well. Still, I made the approach, and talked for a long period of time.
The rest of day 1 was spent at the club. I tried to get a lot of girls to dance with me with no success. I tried getting girls to talk with me, or just physically telling them to join me. I think I may have been too indirect at the club, and as a result it seemed like I was unconfident (which I definitely also was). I need to start going after what I want without any reservations, and if I can do that, then I think my club game will start improving.
Day 2:
Girl 5
I saw her lounging on the pool during the morning while waiting for friends to join me for breakfast. This was the first time I ever asked a girl if she was single, so that was a positive point. However, she said she had a boyfriend, so it was moot for me. I decided that I wanted to keep talking to her though, so I did. She was very disengaged throughout, but I kept trying to deep dive, and she opened up relatively well. I decided that I needed to make her laugh. Eventually she said something about how she wouldn't leave drunk friends alone. I replied that leaving drunk friends was not fun, though it could be under the right circumstances. She asked me whether I thought letting my friends die from alcohol poisoning was fun, and I said "no of course not, do I look like a monster?" She then said how I just said it could be fun, and I replied by saying that if I were a sadist, then yes it could be fun, but that I was empathetic and warm. She burst out laughing and was saying oh my god a couple of times. I don't know if what I said was too weird, but I thought it was funny, and I knew she had a boyfriend, so I thought I'd try to make myself laugh. I found out she had a couple of friends with her and told her they should join my group for a pregame, but I totally messed up trading contact details so that did not work out.
Girl 7
I mainly opened this woman because I was stuck at my hotel since I lost my ID and had to find that, and then I had to wait for two hours while the girls in our group got ready with make up. Anyways, I figured I should talk to someone, even if they were much older. Oddly enough, this older lady (who was actually the orthopedic person for a national sports team) seemed interested in me, which I found kind of funny. However, I was not comfortable with the age gap, and eventually left.
Girl 8
I was on a booze cruise and I immediately introduced myself to the only single-looking girl. I tried deep diving her and got her to talk to me for a little. I was more touchy than normal, which was good, but I need to do more for sure. We talked some, and then she went to join her friends. Throughout the cruise, I saw that she looked bored and not having fun, so I told her to come get drinks with us, which she did, but then I left and she'd go back to her group. Looking back, I should have just kept talking to her and told her to come sit with me, and then eventually later try to get her to dance with me. Eventually my bisexual female friend got her dancing, and I felt worse because I should have been the one doing that. Anyways live and learn.
Later that night, since my friends decided to be boring, and since they're all in relationships and had their significant others with them, I had to go out clubbing by myself.
Girl 9-Mean Boyfriend
I met this girl at a bar. I saw her alone at a table, looking out a window, so I asked her why she looked so forlorn. She replied in Spanish, and I found out she was talking in Spanish for fun, so I started speaking Spanish with her too. We eventually switched back to english, and I started deep diving her. She told me she was waiting for her boyfriend, but I wanted to keep talking. Eventually her boyfriend comes out, and he's jealous or insecure, but he's super buff. He puts his hand on my shoulder very threateningly, and then asks some question basically asking what I think I'm doing. I try to act unintimidated, and ask his name, trying to confuse him. He basically asks why I came to talk to his girlfriend, and I say I saw her sitting here and just had to come talk to her, after all who could have resisted? He puts his beer down and tells me that I'm sitting in his seat. Now I don't want to get into a fight, but I also hate it when someone acts like an asshole in order to solve a problem. But I didn't want to get beat up, so I took the hint and walked out of there. Looking back, I should have taken the path of least resistance and sat on the other side of the girlfriend, which would have allowed me to keep my frame and made him look weak. Also I've never been in a fight, so that would have been an interesting experience.
The rest of the night was me going to bars in noisy clubs and trying to talk to girls. I also tried to get girls to dance with me without saying a word, using just my hands and my facial expression.
Girl 10-I saw one girl looking lonely, so I walked by her and motioned her to come with me, she said no, but I tried persisting by giving her a skeptical look. She said something about losing her friends, so I tried to get her to come again. She looked at me, and seemed on the verge of coming, but then her friends showed up, and she went with them instead.
Aside from that, I mainly just got rejected by most girls, though I tried to follow the advice given to me in the last report. I move through various floors and tried to keep my rejections as discreet as possible.
Day 3 (Last day)
Girl 11
I saw this at this place where I was eating tacos. I caught her eye a few times. Later, she found our hat next to our table, and returned it to our group, but directed the talking at me. She was with her friends, and I saw her friends looking at me. I need to start using my peripherals a lot more, because I'm giving up a lot of the intrigue early by looking at the girl a lot, and I think they're noticing me, plus I'm not taking action fast enough. A little later, I saw her get up to go the restroom, so I figure that my chance to talk to her is when she walks back. I time my bathroom pretty well, and stop her. I thank her for finding our hat for us, and make a joke about us being super klutzy. She is very friendly towards me. I stop her, and then say that I had to tell her she was absolutely gorgeous. The reason I'm including this girl in my FR is because I think the way I said the gorgeous line was actually really good, with solid pauses and a decent amount of confidence. In addition, her response was also really good, she smiled very brightly and said thank you very enthusiastically. She told me she was going to the beach club after and that she would probably see me there. When I went to the club, I saw her and didn't approach, and she obviously did not approach me. I know I should have approached her at the club, but I guess I just didn't. I'm not sure what I should have done in this situation, specifically at the restaurant in order to have had a more positive interaction.
The rest of the day I tried to focus on my friends because it was our last day. However, I made a couple more approaches, but none really panned out. There was a group of girls dancing that my female friend told me to dance with. I tried dancing but I also tried introducing myself, which my female friend told me was the wrong thing to do. Unfortunately, I'm really not sure what to do in clubs in terms have having a solid opening percentage, and getting compliance at clubs. That could also just be the environment. But it was really solid for numbing me to approaching, and for that I'm thankful.
Those were the most important interactions in my trip. I think in total I must have done upwards of 50 approaches, which while a lower amount than I would have hoped, is still far more than ever done in my life. I improved the amount of touch I used, as well as the amount of compliance I asked of girls, and challenge in asking them to guess stuff about me (like if they asked me a question, I would ask them to guess what they thought the answer was).
At the same time, I need to work on my fundamentals and presentation, so that my opening percentage gets a lot higher. I also need to work on making physicality and compliance-building a more consistent habit.
Any feedback on these interactions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Kvothe
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